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4/25/2017 7:42:44 PM
Posted: 5/17/2001 8:56:06 PM EDT
Ok, gentlemen, gentleladies, Im sitting in my living room hear a car screech to a halt out front. I aasumed it was just some yahoo playing grabass or something, but then I heard the parking brake being engaged(grrrrrp)So, I take a peek outside, it's very dark on my street, no streetlights, etc..I see some rambling wreck parked out front and hear a creaky door open.At that time the dog goes apeshyt,the kids start screaming,the wife asks WTF is going on? Now, we have one of those highend security screen doors and it being a hot night it was open.I walk up to the door, with my Colt Commander loaded with 230 ball. I see the figure crossing the lawn and ask kindly "What can I help you with?" No answer. I ask again with authority "WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH?" I flip the porchlight and see this short hispanic type,disheveled,greasy looking character with a pizza warmer thing ala Dominos. I tell him I ordered no pizza. He states: "Hay, meester, heers yoor peesa's n shicken weengs" I rhetorically state that I ordered no 'damn' pizzas. He is adamnent that this is the correct house.He says he's looking for 1234 I tell him I live at 1243.1234 is across the St He becomes agitated! I tell the wife to call 911. He say's "okay, no proglem" I checked it out to see if he delivers pizza across the street and negative.I tried getting a description of the car, but it was way too dark. Hope it was just a fluke or a wrong street. "Honey, start the coffee" The Mongoose on tactical alert.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 9:00:09 PM EDT
You are mean.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 9:03:28 PM EDT
Originally Posted By garden weasel: You are mean.
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LMAO [:D]
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 9:06:07 PM EDT
It's time for urban booby traps. OK, I'm a pro. I live in NV. it's scary all by yourself in the desert. So you build anti-personnel boooby traps. First thing first, Have a loaded gun hidden but easily accessed in everyroom. 2nd, string piano wire neck hieght across the front door way and any other door entrance except your childrens and your room and bathroom. 3rd call a buddy over to snipe from an area about 25 yards from your house. use a 10/22, and make sure he has positive ID and stay in radio contact. 4th start popping the valium to keep the shakes down so you can shoot better, but not to much or u will lose ur sense of reality and go off the deep end. then post up by your tv and wait this one out. NSF
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 9:07:50 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/17/2001 9:06:27 PM EDT by 1GUNRUNNER]
TheMongoose vs Thegarden weasel oh and before I can post I see it will be a tag team match featuring theDizzyRooster - "You'll be LMAO the other side your mouth mister" LET'S GET IT ON!!
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 9:09:24 PM EDT
Originally Posted By NSFJojo: It's time for urban booby traps. OK, I'm a pro. I live in NV. it's scary all by yourself in the desert. So you build anti-personnel boooby traps. First thing first, Have a loaded gun hidden but easily accessed in everyroom. 2nd, string piano wire neck hieght across the front door way and any other door entrance except your childrens and your room and bathroom. 3rd call a buddy over to snipe from an area about 25 yards from your house. use a 10/22, and make sure he has positive ID and stay in radio contact. 4th start popping the valium to keep the shakes down so you can shoot better, but not to much or u will lose ur sense of reality and go off the deep end. then post up by your tv and wait this one out. NSF
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You forgot to tie a string to every enterence and then tie it to a teddy bear. Stare at the bear all night. If it moves you have an intruder.
Link Posted: 5/17/2001 9:12:53 PM EDT
no, I usually string the body of my first victim up on the wall, if it moves, I shoot it again. [;)] NSF
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 12:04:28 AM EDT
Well the first Question would be "do you have a pizza dilivery guy tag"?
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 12:19:51 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Bobaluba69: Well the first Question would be "do you have a pizza dilivery guy tag"?
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There's your problem. Here in Texas you don't need a tag for varmints. We even have special contest hunts for varmints that run for 24hrs. straight on a point system. Much fun. Calling, spotlighting, and baiting legal.
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 12:30:49 AM EDT
At least everything went OK. Anyway here is the hollywood ending. I figure you could be played by Wesley Snipes: [i] Pizza man[/i]: Hay, meester, heers yoor peesa's n shicken weengs! [i]TheMongoose[/i]: I didn't order no 'damn' pizzas! [i]The pizza man is adamnent that he is at the correct house.[/i] [i]Pizza man[/i]:I'm looking for 1234 [i]TheMongoose[/i]:This is 1243.1234 is across the Street PUNK! [i]The pizza man becomes agitated![/i] [i]TheMongoose[/i]:Honey! Call 911 NOW! [i]Pizza man[/i]:okay, no proglem... [i]the pizza man unveils a sawed off shotgun from his stay hot delivery bag.[/i] [i]Before he is able to draw a bead, TheMongoose raises his handgun and lets loose a volley of of 230 hardball sending the would be assailant reeling backwards. The pizza man manages to to drop to one knee and raise his weapon. TheMongoose fires one shot directly into the pizza man's forehead.[/i] [i]TheMongoose[/i]: DOMINO MOTHERF*&$ER!!!
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 12:32:36 AM EDT
He lays dead in the lawn amid scattered remnants of pizza and chicken?
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 2:07:49 AM EDT
TheMongoose-Have you any relation to the poster Mongoose, who past away last year? BTW in a Klintonesque ending, the Oizzaman is an ATF agent whose only inteterst is to have you shorten one of his shotguns below 18". Sounds familiar?
Link Posted: 5/18/2001 2:14:43 AM EDT
Careful. some Pizza Dudes are packing AR15's.
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