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Posted: 12/16/2003 9:52:02 PM EDT
OK Tell me what is the deal when your endtrails are constructing a Stink-Pickle...THAT IT IS LARGER THAN THE ORIFICE CAN HANDLE?????

I AM SERIOUS!!! It is like giving birth!! How can nature do that to a human being??

Can you get an episiotomy for that region of your body?

DAMN!!! The pain!! THE PAIN!!!
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:53:12 PM EDT
Lay of the cheese and/or the MREs.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:55:13 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno: Lay of the cheese and/or the MREs.
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WAIT A MINUTE!!! MRE's can do this?? And we are feeding them to our brave men and women... HOLY CRAP!!! What did they do to deserve that?
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:55:56 PM EDT
A liquid diet of only beer will solve your problems. [beer]
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:56:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DrFrige:
Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno: Lay of the cheese and/or the MREs.
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WAIT A MINUTE!!! MRE's can do this?? And we are feeding them to our brave men and women... HOLY CRAP!!! What did they do to deserve that?
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Yep - MREs will plug ya up pretty quick. The real question is why are you digging into your SHTF stash? [nono]
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:58:37 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
Originally Posted By DrFrige:
Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno: Lay of the cheese and/or the MREs.
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WAIT A MINUTE!!! MRE's can do this?? And we are feeding them to our brave men and women... HOLY CRAP!!! What did they do to deserve that?
View Quote
Yep - MREs will plug ya up pretty quick. The real question is why are you digging into your SHTF stash? [nono]
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....Ummmm how do I say this.... I kinda dont own any MRE's. and i .... ummmmmm Never even tried one.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:59:50 PM EDT
I can't help you any further. I've max'd out my asschat quota for the month.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:23:29 PM EDT
Drink a pint of prune juice and your problems will be solved.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:28:44 PM EDT
One word. Caesarian. CW
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:29:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/16/2003 10:30:19 PM EDT by dpmmn]
Eat more Fiber edited to add: Then it floats [^]
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:30:23 PM EDT
Buttcandle?
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 1:08:57 AM EDT
Originally Posted By kikomax: A liquid diet of only beer will solve your problems. [beer]
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Works for me.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 1:21:50 AM EDT
I hear the gays don't have such a problem. Food for thought if it really bugs you.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 2:51:17 AM EDT
Isn't this what killed Elvis?
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 2:54:20 AM EDT
Originally Posted By dpmmn: Eat more Fiber edited to add: Then it floats [^]
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Too much fiber, you'll get the flaky floaties, or the runs. Too much irons, you'll get the sinkers. Get the right balance, and your turds should be kicking it in the middle.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:28:43 AM EDT
I call this problem 'shitting a lightbulb'. The turd is shaped such that your asshole stretches to the point it thinks it's giving birth to a 5-year old child... Your eyes begin to pop out and tear up. Then, 'the thing' drops out with the tapered end leaving your hole slammed shut so hard and clean you don't need to wipe. Ouch. Graphic enough for you? [;D]
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:30:23 AM EDT
Just be grateful you have a functional O-Ring. The alternative is nasty.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:43:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By AZ-K9: Buttcandle?
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[rofl2] you ordered one didn't you?! mike
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:56:55 AM EDT
[LOL]
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:02:15 AM EDT
LAffing so hard I'm cryin
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:12:46 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Beach: LAffing so hard I'm cryin
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Yeah, me too. Damn funny. Why? Because it true.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:15:35 AM EDT
Go to the drugstore, laxative aisle. Look for "FLEET." Insert in the bathtub. It'll do the rest...
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:32:42 AM EDT
Eat a fresh jalapino. You'll be singing 'Burning Ring of Fire' better then Johnny Cash.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:55:47 AM EDT
Fridge: Been doing Atkins, eh? BS007: PERFECTLY accurate description! [lol]
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:20:19 AM EDT
Frige, have you ever originated a topic that [purple]didn't[/purple] revolve around shitting or farting? Just curious.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:28:09 AM EDT
Scatology The study of fecal excrement, as in medicine, paleontology, or biology. An obsession with excrement or excretory functions. The psychiatric study of such an obsession. Obscene language or literature, especially that dealing pruriently or humorously with excrement and excretory functions. --The American Heritage® Dictionary
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Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:34:53 AM EDT
More water. More fiber.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:40:31 AM EDT
[LOL]
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 7:07:08 AM EDT
Poop is funny.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 4:39:34 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TWIRE: Frige, have you ever originated a topic that [purple]didn't[/purple] revolve around shitting or farting? Just curious.
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There was one that I brought up involving vomiting once.... ONCE! Actually there have been many a poopless topic I have authored... Just curious why you only remember the ones I write that involve poop? [;)] Can i use your question as my new sig line??? HEY!!! My sig line NOW involves something about poop too!!! Hmmmm you may be on to something here.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 4:48:05 PM EDT
The horror ... ... the horror.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 4:57:29 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DPeacher: Eat a fresh jalapino. You'll be singing 'Burning Ring of Fire' better then Johnny Cash.
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[LOLabove] EGAD!! *tears running due to laughter* Ops
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:45:49 PM EDT
This is really a shitty topic. (Can't believe nobody beat me to this....)
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 9:53:19 PM EDT
+1 - N20
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 10:59:03 PM EDT
Oh Good God, this one had me crying I was laughing so hard. Mostly cause I've damn near cried from the same torture before. I feel your pain 'Frige, trust me. 'Bout 15 years ago I decided to lose 20 pounds. Running & SlimFast was the method. SlimFast is a powder that is mixed with milk. You're supposed to drink it in the morning and at lunch and eat a healthy, balanced, low-cal, light, leafy dinner. Well, I had a better idea. In order to maximize the effect I went 3 days on nothing but Slimfast. Huge mistake. On the fourth day I knew I had a serious problem. On the 5th day there was absolutely no doubt. Ever try to crap out a concrete golfball? That's pretty much what you get when you mix nothing but sand and milk together. Ain't been right down there since then. Reno's correct about the cheese. Started a month ago, Screw you Atkins. I swear there's nothing funny 'bout a 'roid if you got one.
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