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Posted: 12/16/2003 9:52:02 PM EDT
OK Tell me what is the deal when your endtrails are constructing a Stink-Pickle...THAT IT IS LARGER THAN THE ORIFICE CAN HANDLE?????

I AM SERIOUS!!! It is like giving birth!! How can nature do that to a human being??

Can you get an episiotomy for that region of your body?

DAMN!!! The pain!! THE PAIN!!!
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:53:12 PM EDT
[#1]
Lay of the cheese and/or the MREs.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:55:13 PM EDT
[#2]
Quoted:
Lay of the cheese and/or the MREs.
View Quote


WAIT A MINUTE!!! MRE's can do this?? And we are feeding them to our brave men and women... HOLY CRAP!!! What did they do to deserve that?
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:55:56 PM EDT
[#3]
A liquid diet of only beer will solve your problems.  [beer]
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:56:56 PM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Lay of the cheese and/or the MREs.
View Quote


WAIT A MINUTE!!! MRE's can do this?? And we are feeding them to our brave men and women... HOLY CRAP!!! What did they do to deserve that?
View Quote


Yep - MREs will plug ya up pretty quick.

The real question is why are you digging into your SHTF stash? [nono]
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:58:37 PM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Lay of the cheese and/or the MREs.
View Quote


WAIT A MINUTE!!! MRE's can do this?? And we are feeding them to our brave men and women... HOLY CRAP!!! What did they do to deserve that?
View Quote


Yep - MREs will plug ya up pretty quick.

The real question is why are you digging into your SHTF stash? [nono]
View Quote


....Ummmm how do I say this.... I kinda dont own any MRE's. and i .... ummmmmm Never even tried one.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:59:50 PM EDT
[#6]
I can't help you any further.  I've max'd out my asschat quota for the month.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:23:29 PM EDT
[#7]
Drink a pint of prune juice and your problems will be solved.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:28:44 PM EDT
[#8]
One word. Caesarian.

CW
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:29:14 PM EDT
[#9]
Eat more Fiber

edited to add:

Then it floats [^]
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:30:23 PM EDT
[#10]
Buttcandle?
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 1:08:57 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
A liquid diet of only beer will solve your problems.  [beer]
View Quote


Works for me.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 1:21:50 AM EDT
[#12]
I hear the gays don't have such a problem. Food for thought if it really bugs you.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 2:51:17 AM EDT
[#13]
Isn't this what killed Elvis?
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 2:54:20 AM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
Eat more Fiber

edited to add:

Then it floats [^]
View Quote


Too much fiber, you'll get the flaky floaties, or the runs.

Too much irons, you'll get the sinkers.

Get the right balance, and your turds should be kicking it in the middle.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:28:43 AM EDT
[#15]
I call this problem 'shitting a lightbulb'.

The turd is shaped such that your asshole stretches to the point it thinks it's giving birth to a 5-year old child...
Your eyes begin to pop out and tear up.
Then, 'the thing' drops out with the tapered end leaving your hole slammed shut so hard and clean you don't need to wipe.
Ouch.

Graphic enough for you?  [;D]
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:30:23 AM EDT
[#16]
Just be grateful you have a functional O-Ring.  The alternative is nasty.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:43:36 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
Buttcandle?
View Quote


[rofl2] you ordered one didn't you?!

mike
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:56:55 AM EDT
[#18]
[LOL]
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:02:15 AM EDT
[#19]
LAffing so hard I'm cryin
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:12:46 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
LAffing so hard I'm cryin
View Quote


Yeah, me too. Damn funny. Why? Because it true.

Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:15:35 AM EDT
[#21]
Go to the drugstore, laxative aisle.  Look for "FLEET."  Insert in the bathtub.  It'll do the rest...
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:32:42 AM EDT
[#22]
Eat a fresh jalapino.  You'll be singing 'Burning Ring of Fire' better then Johnny Cash.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:55:47 AM EDT
[#23]
Fridge: Been doing Atkins, eh?

BS007: PERFECTLY accurate description! [lol]
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:20:19 AM EDT
[#24]
Frige, have you ever originated a topic that [purple]didn't[/purple] revolve around shitting or farting? Just curious.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:28:09 AM EDT
[#25]

Scatology
The study of fecal excrement, as in medicine, paleontology, or biology.
An obsession with excrement or excretory functions.
The psychiatric study of such an obsession.
Obscene language or literature, especially that dealing pruriently or humorously with excrement and excretory functions. --The American Heritage® Dictionary
View Quote


Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:34:53 AM EDT
[#26]
More water.  More fiber.  
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:40:31 AM EDT
[#27]
[LOL]
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 7:07:08 AM EDT
[#28]
Poop is funny.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 4:39:34 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
Frige, have you ever originated a topic that [purple]didn't[/purple] revolve around shitting or farting? Just curious.
View Quote


There was one that I brought up involving vomiting once.... ONCE!

Actually there have been many a poopless topic I have authored... Just curious why you only remember the ones I write that involve poop? [;)]

Can i use your question as my new sig line??? HEY!!! My sig line NOW involves something about poop too!!!

Hmmmm you may be on to something here.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 4:48:05 PM EDT
[#30]
The horror ...



... the horror.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 4:57:29 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
Eat a fresh jalapino.  You'll be singing 'Burning Ring of Fire' better then Johnny Cash.
View Quote

 [LOLabove]
EGAD!!  *tears running due to laughter*  Ops
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 5:45:49 PM EDT
[#32]
This is really a shitty topic.
(Can't believe nobody beat me to this....)
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 9:53:19 PM EDT
[#33]
+1

- N20
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 10:59:03 PM EDT
[#34]
 

 Oh Good God, this one had me crying I was laughing so hard.  Mostly cause I've damn near cried from the same torture before.  I feel your pain 'Frige, trust me.  

 'Bout 15 years ago I decided to lose 20 pounds.  Running & SlimFast was the method.  SlimFast is a powder that is mixed with milk.  You're supposed to drink it in the morning and at lunch and eat a healthy, balanced, low-cal, light, leafy dinner.  Well, I had a better idea.  

 In order to maximize the effect I went 3 days on nothing but Slimfast.  Huge mistake.  On the fourth day I knew I had a serious problem.  On the 5th day there was absolutely no doubt.  

 Ever try to crap out a concrete golfball?  That's pretty much what you get when you mix nothing but sand and milk together.  Ain't been right down there since then.

 Reno's correct about the cheese.  Started a month ago, Screw you Atkins.  I swear there's nothing funny 'bout a 'roid if you got one.




 


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