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Posted: 12/16/2003 6:36:15 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/16/2003 6:38:55 PM EDT by ShamusMcOI]
This is something I've never understood.

I work construction, and sometimes working weekends and long days is just part of the game.

At least if you're going to be successful.


But I'm often amazed when I ask guys if they're up for working those extra days and hours, that they'll actually bring up the fact that their wife/girlfriend will be mad at them so they don't want to work.

And sometimes this is after having a few short days, or because sometimes you have to take on more work so you don't sit at home.


WTF?

My wife has NEVER been pissed at me for working long hours or weekends.

Don't get me wrong, we enjoy spending time together.

But you got to make hay when the sun shines.

Is it just me?

Link Posted: 12/16/2003 7:07:09 PM EDT
She does every time I see her, but since her nursing home is over $3,300 per month, I don't have any choice but to work 7 days a week. At $8/hour even working 10 hours a day, there's still no way I can make ends meet.z
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 7:26:08 PM EDT
Let's face it, women are fucking stupid. When I was starting my company ([url]www.ihost.biz[/url]) I was spending a lot of time in the afternoons until late at night, weekends, whatever working like crazy to get it started. She would get all pissed off, she could not see the end goal, just the fact that she wanted to go shop at the mall. Then, to be even more stupid, the next thing she would complain about is she wished we had more money. Well, which one do you want? Needless to say I just told her to go shove it up her ass and eventually I was able to leave my C++ job and am now working ihost.biz full time (she finally apologized for getting on my case about working so much). What can I say, women are fucking stupid, every year that I am married I can think of 365 new reasons why.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 7:38:11 PM EDT
it can go both ways. i make good money, but still, it's only average and i live check to check. if i want anything extra i have to work overtime. sometimes i have no choice. i work 12 hour shifts at a powerhouse, at night.we don't shut down for weekends or holidays. somtimes i'll see an oportunity to make a killing by working every day for a couple of weeks. she has gone without me for many a christmas/thanksgiving/birthday/4th of july/etc. she is mostly resigned to it, usually accepts it, but can get pissed as hell sometimes. i can understand her point, and i do feel bad about it, but this is what i do and that's the way it goes. i'm very fortunate that she tollerates it. my trade is notorious for alcaholism and divorces.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:14:20 PM EDT
I answered "yes", but not anymore. WTF is up with that anyway? I get paid decently, but am salaried. For some reason she doesn't understand why I have to work more than 8 hours. She was an engineer but stopped working after our 2nd kid was born. It was a struggle, but it was the best for our kids. Our expenses were going up but our income went down by 50%. One night a few months ago she was bitching to me about me working so much, then coming home tired and not helping out around the house. I got pissed and told her that this shit is gonna stop right now and that if she didn't like it, I would trade places with her instantly. It hasn't come up again.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:21:14 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:22:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SNorman: Let's face it, women are fucking stupid. What can I say, women are fucking stupid, every year that I am married I can think of 365 new reasons why.
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[b]We Have a Winner[/b] I knew this about 2 weeks after I was married, matter of fact the day we got home from our honeymoon, The change was so dramitic I still think it is 2 different women, the one from when we were dating to the one that I married
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:26:53 PM EDT
My wife has never gotten angry with me because of the long hours, In fact I just got back last week from a six week detail. She knows and accepts the time away from her my job entails, and is supportive and self reliant enough that I don't have to worry about the house and finances falling apart when I'm away. Instead of being the proverbial ball and chain, she is what makes my job bearable, and allows me to focus on what needs to be done.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:36:45 PM EDT
After being married over 20 years she's quite aware of the concept of "no worky, no money" , so although she , and I too would rather spend time with each other the reality is that we must do what we must do. But, we also homeschool which makes it convenient for me to occasionally take one of the kiddos to work or for the eldest to babysit and the wife to go with me. Makes things interesting that way..
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 9:49:43 PM EDT
A friend's wife did that... wanted him to switch from night to day shift. Well, when she got what she asked, she 'realized' that she had gotten use to him not being there at nights (as she went out w/ her girlfirnds). So, she left him at home at nights to go out to do what ever..... Funny how they don't know how to act when they finally get what they want....
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:05:57 PM EDT
i work graveyard shift at a "real job", then for myself most days till around noonish. I usually volunteer to work the Holidays at my real job, so the folks with kids can be with family. Last year, my wife complained about not having me home for the holidays, so I took Thanksgiving and Christmas, and the days after off. She returned the favor by going shopping with a friend ALL FUCKING DAY the day after Thanksgiving and ALL FUCKING DAY the day after Christmas! Granted, I went hunting, but GODDAMMIT!!! Bitch about wanting to spend time with me, then take off and go shopping ALL FUCKING DAY???? I worked Thanksgiving this year. I'm scheduled to work Christmas, too. I told her exactly why, too.
Link Posted: 12/16/2003 10:29:54 PM EDT
Interesting topic. I am gaining some insight perhaps into how to handle my wife. After nearly 20 years marriage she still hasn't connected me being out of work with us not having money... When I [b]do[/b] work, I make a good buck - hell the Clintons think I'm rich (when I'm working), the last two years have been murder - lost a bundle in the market, have been out for 2 years, if it hadn't been for the accident settlement, we'd have been in the poor house - and now that's almost gone... mainly 'cause she can't go a day without spending $20 or $30! I can't complain to loudly, she works full time at a job she hates with a 2 hour commute each way. But her salary doesn't make ends meet at all at the rate she wants to spend. The new family tradition of "The Family Annual Meeting" is going to be held soon, and some changes are about to be made in the management of money. Currently, she keeps sending mixed messages - "get back to work 'cause I think you're laying about goofing off all day" - followed up the next day with "I'm glad your off, because who would take care of and watch our daughter?" Sheesh... this is gonna change - soon.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:24:28 AM EDT
No,I don't care if hubby has to work extra hours. I never have. Maybe it's because when we were both in the military,we worked all the holidays,rotated shifts etc. So we understand that. Right now with my job I am the one working most times 6 days a week,and see my husband and son in passing. He's the one being understanding this time.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:41:27 AM EDT
MONEY grows on trees according to the goldiggers I've met lately, THEY WANT IT ALL. F'em I'm not a co-dependent with the other spending most the cash on stupid shit that won't be around in 3/5 years....when you think about it if you were a lo-money earner they'd be gone.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:44:01 AM EDT
Yep, lost 2 relationships in the past for working too much.Before WE got serious, I warned my girlfriends that I work 6 days a week, sometimes 7 in the winter months to stuff the bank account for the warm and sunny months, the first thing outta their mouth is " I am O.K. with it, no problem".Then later on they go BALLISTIC cause they don't get enough of Mr. Gigglestick,so they move on.WTF?
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 3:58:35 AM EDT
She better not. She quit her job to stay at home with our son. I am the only income.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 4:17:22 AM EDT
The wife understands and NEVER bitches. Sometimes I have to travel and this mean 1 to 4 weeks out of town. She is a doll about it.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:19:51 AM EDT
I'm worried about that. If my small business starts going places, I will be doing 8 hours a day all seven days a week. No woman yet, but if I meet a decent one she's going to be forewarned up front about my schedule. [:(] Mike
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:22:51 AM EDT
This wife NO problem, she is a sales professional also. My first wife - thought I worked to be away from her, EVEN WHILE IN THE HOUSE WITH HER.
Link Posted: 12/17/2003 6:35:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Stoney-Point: She better not. She quit her job to stay at home with our son. I am the only income.
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Same here - my wife quit to take care of the kids, but she still had the nerve (or lack of common sense) to bitch at me about working too many hours.
Link Posted: 12/18/2003 1:54:57 PM EDT
I have friends who are on travel, out-of-town for days at a time, several times a month. Their spouses may not like it, but at least they understand that's what some jobs require-- and without a job/career change that's not going to change. I have a 40 hr/week, usually 8-5 type job. Even with these 'normal' hours and no travel my dear wife wants me around more... My dear wife doesn't seem to understand that some days I can take off early (schedule permitting) and some days I have to stay late. "Why can't you take off at 4 PM today? You did last week!" You just answered your own question!! On the good side, she spends almost NO money, on anything, and doesn't gripe too much when I get some new 'tactical' and/or 'historic' items. I guess I should be touched she likes me around so much. But- I wouldn't mind being 'let go' once in a while so I can go shooting or otherwise goof off once in a while without having to worry about her entertaining herself. I'm not talking about being out to 2AM every night drinking and whoring... maybe a couple of hours a week to go to the range. My answer-- once my kids get old enough, whole family's going shooting 4-5 times a week. How's that for togetherness [:D] .. and reading some of these stories, I've really got no complaints ... good luck guys.
Link Posted: 12/18/2003 4:36:56 PM EDT
I think my wife hates. PERIOD! AB
Link Posted: 12/18/2003 4:54:31 PM EDT
amen to this thread! i got laid off last year and since then all i've heard is "when are you going to get a job".. now it's "when am i going to be able to see you" cause i'm working 1130-8/9am 5-6days a week. the other night she asked if i was going to look for another job. wtf? i've been looking for a year! of course she just got a 2nd job to pay for a brand new car (she's only 22). last year when i worked at a warehouse it was always "what time are you going to be done?"...when we finish! how the hell am i supposed to know? if she wouldn't have bought the new car, which forced her to get the 2nd job we'd have more time to spend together. sunday was her only day off so she hangs out with her sister or her friend all day. somehow that was my fault we weren't together enough... this shit is going to give me an aneurism.
Link Posted: 12/18/2003 7:02:36 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SNorman: Let's face it, women are fucking stupid. When I was starting my company ([url]www.ihost.biz[/url]) I was spending a lot of time in the afternoons until late at night, weekends, whatever working like crazy to get it started. She would get all pissed off, she could not see the end goal, just the fact that she wanted to go shop at the mall. Then, to be even more stupid, the next thing she would complain about is she wished we had more money. Well, which one do you want? Needless to say I just told her to go shove it up her ass and eventually I was able to leave my C++ job and am now working ihost.biz full time (she finally apologized for getting on my case about working so much).
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Yep, sounds like my wife. Wants me to have a job where I make a lot of money, have lots of time off and work maybe a 4-6 hour day, and on top of it all expect the job will have wonderful benefits, and it's a job-for-life. What worries me is that my wife's father was an Army officer (in another country). GunLvr
Link Posted: 12/18/2003 7:10:47 PM EDT
My [b]ex-[/b]wife used to say, disgustedly, that I was a workaholic if I worked over a couple of hours. I'm passionate about my work, as I think people should be. After all, we spend half of our waking hours at work. We should work at something we love. I guess she never saw that. I'm really glad I divorced her.
Link Posted: 12/18/2003 7:35:37 PM EDT
Shamus, I'll let you know what she says after I actually start working a real job. [bd]
Link Posted: 12/18/2003 7:37:05 PM EDT
I guess this explains why the phone is constantly ringing off the hook at work with these guy's wives calling. We had three married guys in the trailer, plus me and the secretary. I swear to god you couldn't make a business call because ONE of these bitches was constantly on the phone. When my ex GF and I were living together I told her, you call me at work, somebody better be dead, or somebody will be. Worked pretty good.
Link Posted: 12/18/2003 11:55:38 PM EDT
Amazing you guys are still with those women that complain. I spent 12 of my 20 years in the Navy married to my wife. She never complained when I was not home for the holidays, birthdays, anniversarys, illnesses, deaths and all of the happy horseshit that makes married life so interesting. Now that I am out she is happy that I am working all (oh yea, got my job back) these funky hours and making all this overtime. And I don't complain about her job either.
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 2:29:11 AM EDT
I have a standard 40 hour work week but it fluxuates with the needs of the switch so sometimes I'll work a few weeks of nights or I'll find out on day shift that I have to go back in that night. I'm also on call every third week. My EX-boyfriend used to bitch up a storm if I got called out or if I was tired and disoriented from working nights... but, like y'all are saying, he didn't seem to mind the money I make that pays for the horses, the truck, the trailer, etc.... I don't bitch if my partner has to work... I LIKE a strong work ethic. My ex-husband was underway 270 days one year. He got ZERO flack and an open invitation to not worry about anything for two weeks when he got home.. buy some ammo and go shooting!
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 4:28:00 AM EDT
My wife has never broken my balls about working. I was a Corporal on active duty when we met and a Sergeant when we got married. I got out and went to work in telecom and worked a lot of graveyard shifts in Pac Bell switchrooms, then went on the road for 12 days out of 14, home every other weekend. Since telecom took a giant dump I'm in a different industry and trying to make my bones, and my schedule is subject to very short notice changes. My wife never breaks my balls about working. I'm a very lucky man.
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 4:46:42 AM EDT
If mine complains I say "Hey, When I become a genius with a masters degree or hit the lottery then I'll make my hours. Till then I work when the company wants me too." But mostly my woman is supportive and a good woman! I don't like to work long hours or be away from home, but that's reality and you have to deal with it. It pisses me off big time when someones "DEPENDANT" doesn't support them in thier job. I have worked out of town most of my life (Road Construction) I explain how we live when we are away (In Shitholes as cheap as possible to save money) and that being away, we don't get to enjoy the fruits of our labor. COZ
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 5:37:25 AM EDT
Well, reading some of your posts I count myself a lucky man. For 8 years I worked nights and weekends while my sweetheart pulled a 9-5. It was strenuous because we were unable to make much time together. Finally one day we had real discussion about my work hours. My wife wanted to know why I refused to do anything about my hours, I explained to her that I really just could not figure out how to change things. We started a real discussion between us, not an argument! Well my wife took an active role into helping me change my hours. It has been a long hard road, frought with fights, arguments, money spent and long hard hours of study and investigation. Our decission to figure out how to work coinciding hours has resulted in 4 major relocations, 1 home sold, no vacations and 3 career changes between the two of us crossing state lines. We were both unhappy with my work hours and we did something about it. It has been a long hard road traveled, that took two people working dilligently to traverse but it has been well worth the effort. 6 years after we had our little discussion we both find ourselves with different careers, and happier than ever! Our lives have finally started to settle down and I find myself happier than I have ever been before in my life. In a few months I finally start a daytime job, with benefits, making a difference in peoples lives. We are both so excited that words alone cannot describe the feeling. My wife spent long hours HELPING me bring about a change, I could never have done on my own. She did not just sit there bitching about my hours. She had to change her own career and we had to deny ourselves vacations and other "fun" things to bring about change in our lives, but we managed it. Thank you for allowing me to share this happy story with you all. Those of you lucky enough to be with understanding women who stick behind you can relate to the joy and happiness I feel for having found and married my lovely wife.
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 5:42:20 AM EDT
I actually wish my wife would not work so much she genereally works an extra 3-4 hours a night.
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 6:30:45 AM EDT
Hmmmm, my girlfriend works two jobs, and is shipping off in Feb, so she totally understands when I work my ass off. I think that women and men in the military have a whole new respect for the shift hours of their spouse.
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 6:47:06 AM EDT
I was a sailor before I married my wife and explained that I was married to the sea first and that she would have to work at it to be a good second wife. I'm often gone for months at a time, sometimes up to six or seven, and I'm typically gone eight or months a year while on sea duty. Now as a command master chief everyone's problems are mine. When someone's car can't start, someone's pay is screwed up, or there are marriage problems I have to put in the extra hours early or late to see if I can help. My wife understands my role and how important a few extra minutes a night can mean to someone in need. Extra money? That must be the Christmas bonus we don't get!
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 7:27:26 AM EDT
We just talked about this last weekend, I have a normal 40 hour week job, but I also run a forest consulting business part time. This means I am usually busy a few nights a week and for the most part several hours on the weekend, when spring planting season comes, its 7 days a week non-stop until all the trees are in the ground. A few months ago she thanked me for all the hard work that I was doing for the family. I made the mistake of telling her this past weekend that I wanted to start reloading, her response was now we won't have any time, she thinks that I will be down in the basement 5 hours every night, she thinks wrong. We both like the extra money, but we still try to spend some quality time together.
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 7:41:20 AM EDT
work has caused more than a FEW bumps in a FEW relationships for me.
Link Posted: 12/19/2003 10:38:40 AM EDT
I have met Pauls wife. She is awsome - and a pretty good shot too. Plus she carries his ammo when he goes shooting.
Originally Posted By Paul: I was a sailor before I married my wife and explained that I was married to the sea first and that she would have to work at it to be a good second wife. I'm often gone for months at a time, sometimes up to six or seven, and I'm typically gone eight or months a year while on sea duty. Now as a command master chief everyone's problems are mine. When someone's car can't start, someone's pay is screwed up, or there are marriage problems I have to put in the extra hours early or late to see if I can help. My wife understands my role and how important a few extra minutes a night can mean to someone in need. Extra money? That must be the Christmas bonus we don't get!
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Link Posted: 12/19/2003 11:41:22 AM EDT
Was in the Marine Corps when I got married. She understands time away. Didn't like it but understood. She is a patriot. Now sometimes I work late or have my reserve weekends and she just plans activities and weekends with her and the kids while Dad is gone. She has earned her stripes for Heaven no doubt.
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