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Posted: 11/26/2003 6:20:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2003 6:26:33 AM EDT by Prefect]
www.eastpointpolice.org/SelfArrestForm.htm

A proposition has been announced recently to help reduce the deficit and to "Take A Bite Out Of Crime." If you witness a crime, it is your civic duty to report the crime to the police. When a crime is committed, you have the right to make a "Citizen's Arrest". Thus, if YOU commit a crime, it would be extremely helpful for you to perform a Citizen's Self-Arrest. Fill out the form, to complete your Citizen's Self-Arrest.

Fill out this form, answering all questions completely.
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 6:28:24 AM EDT
[ROFL2]
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 6:30:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2003 6:32:30 AM EDT by HillBillySasquatch]
Well, yesterday I [url=http://www.virtualcrack.com] gave a buddy of mine some crack cocain[/url]. So, I guess I should arrest myself. -HS
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 6:32:03 AM EDT
My only crime is bumping this thread.
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 6:32:40 AM EDT
They ought to send this to Congress... [rolleyes]
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 6:37:25 AM EDT
I just arrested myself.
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 6:38:54 AM EDT
I feel much better now.
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 7:00:36 AM EDT
I love how you can enter a plea of "not guilty" when arresting yourself. Personally, the plea of "too drunk to pick" is the best to use in court I believe.
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 7:11:06 AM EDT
I had to arrest myself for a misdemeanor. Did you know sex is a misdemeanor? The more you miss-de-meanor you get. Shok
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 7:13:32 AM EDT
I pled guilty to laughning at that webpage for 10 minutes. I wonder when they will show up
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 7:16:49 AM EDT
i have always been busted
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 7:17:12 AM EDT
[LOLabove][LOL][ROFL2][ROFL]
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 7:32:48 AM EDT
"Welcome to the Springfield Police website. If you have committed a crime and want to turn yourself in, click 'yes'." *click* "You have selected 'no', meaning you have committed a crime but do not wish to turn yourself in. A paddywagon is headed for your address. While you wait, why not buy some of our merchandise? You have the the right to remain FABULOUS!"
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 7:33:32 AM EDT
Well, they just called. They wanted me to buy my own ticket to Atlanta, and said they'd meet me there to take me into custody. I asked if I'd be reimbursed for the cost of the ticket. Put me on hold for 5 minutes and came back and said, no, there weren't any provisions for paying back travel costs. I told them in that case, they could come and get me. Bitch I was talking to got real snotty and said, if I made them come for me, I could expect a beating. I told her to fuck off, and hung up. I'm loading all my weapons and waiting for them. If you hear about a big shootout in the Chicago burbs, it's probably me, going down hard. Now where did I put that Marpat?
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 7:52:56 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Crookshanks: Well, they just called. They wanted me to buy my own ticket to Atlanta, and said they'd meet me there to take me into custody. I asked if I'd be reimbursed for the cost of the ticket. Put me on hold for 5 minutes and came back and said, no, there weren't any provisions for paying back travel costs. I told them in that case, they could come and get me. Bitch I was talking to got real snotty and said, if I made them come for me, I could expect a beating. I told her to fuck off, and hung up. I'm loading all my weapons and waiting for them. If you hear about a big shootout in the Chicago burbs, it's probably me, going down hard. Now where did I put that Marpat?
View Quote
Don't let them take you alive. Make us proud!
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 8:30:23 AM EDT
Crookshanks, as I write this I am having a cargo van deliver you the rest of my 900 rounds of Q3131A.
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 8:57:50 AM EDT
Well if you never wanted to visit Georgia. A false claim of a crime is a damn good reason not too. [peep]
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 9:10:12 AM EDT
I wonder...if you were actually arrested, charged, prosecuted, convicted, and given the maximum sentence for EVERYTHING you ever actually did and got away with (even the things that had no witnesses and in the privacy of your own home), how long would you be in prison for and what would be the total amount of any fines? I'd imagine the average person would owe between fifteen and thirty years and upwards of a quarter million dollar's worth of fines. CJ
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 9:33:23 AM EDT
The funny part is the last line, informing us that this is "For entertainment purposes only". Just incase I guess. If I admit my crime, and am "convicted" by this method. Would it not be double jeopardy to try me for that crime in another court? Hmmm...
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 9:35:32 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2003 9:36:05 AM EDT by Ka_Bar_Fan]
Originally Posted By cmjohnson: I wonder...if you were actually arrested, charged, prosecuted, convicted, and given the maximum sentence for EVERYTHING you ever actually did and got away with (even the things that had no witnesses and in the privacy of your own home), how long would you be in prison for and what would be the total amount of any fines? I'd imagine the average person would owe between fifteen and thirty years and upwards of a quarter million dollar's worth of fines. CJ
View Quote
One life sentence easy. Just for the WWE programs I wasn't able to watch, and programmed the VCR to record, Without Titan Sports permission.
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 9:39:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2003 9:41:37 AM EDT by rn45]
I took myself into custody, but when I wasn't looking, I sucker punched myself and fled out the back door. Right now I'm out searching and I've set up a perimeter. I was last seen east bound though the houses. HOLD IT ME! DROP IT RIGHT THERE! SCREW YOU! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 9:45:57 AM EDT
I can't stop my self NC dose not have Citizen's Arrest
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 10:49:49 AM EDT
i shot JR!
Link Posted: 11/26/2003 10:56:41 AM EDT
I live in CA. The form isn't big enough.
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