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Posted: 11/25/2003 6:44:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2003 6:48:02 AM EDT by TheKill]
I can't believe it. When my ex and I bought our house, it was right down the road from her parent's farm. She wanted it so bad, her dad sprung to pay off my truck ($2500) since the loan payment prohibited us from qualifying for the mortgage. We had a gentlemen's agreement that I would pay him off when I could.

Now, post divorce, my ex is unemployed and tending a one month old child. From what I am told, her new man is out of a job and spending all his time "hunting and fishing" instead of helping or looking for work. The bank foreclosed on my house, and I'm looking at possible bankruptcy. And now my ex's parents sent me a bill for the money from the truck payoff with a letter asking me to sign it!

Wow! Does that sound kind of ***ed up? I honestly can't tell anymore. Getting kind of tired.

Edited to add: All my machinery is still at their house. Or maybe WAS at their house. Lawn tractor, utility trailer, and a $1500 12 HP 48" snowblower.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 6:49:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2003 6:51:37 AM EDT by fight4yourrights]
No, not really. You did have a gentleman's agreement to pay him back. Now granted, the money helped you get into the house.........which helped his daughter. Is the divorce done? If not, get the $2500 debt wrapped into the figures. If not, maybe 50-50 is appropriate, since I'm sure the value of the truck was on your side of the balance sheet at the divorce settlement. I would make it contingent on getting the rest of your property returned. Face facts - you need to get yourself extricated from this marriage, get your finances reorganized and get back to having a life. Don't spend all your time tied up on money issues. In the long run, you can always make more money, you can't get your time back.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 6:51:40 AM EDT
Is the 1 month old child yours? How could you let the bank foreclose on your house? Why didn't you sell it and split the money?
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 6:54:05 AM EDT
I never said I didn't intend on paying it back. I have not yet been in a position to pay him back. Also, as I added to my post, he has some of my equipment as well, and I am willing to bet that when I go out there to check, it has been sold. We'll see. Further, I gave the guy my aluminum fishing boat and trailer as partial payment! Considering the above, I just thought it was pretty damned cold.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 6:55:00 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2003 6:55:26 AM EDT by TheKill]
Originally Posted By Q3131A: Is the 1 month old child yours? How could you let the bank foreclose on your house? Why didn't you sell it and split the money?
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My ex contributed $400 to our total budget and that is how we stayed afloat. When she left, I couldn't keep up. I put the house on the market, and it didn't sell. The kid is not mine!
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 6:55:54 AM EDT
If you're filing bankruptcy anyway, name them as a creditor and thell them to STFU.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:04:40 AM EDT
Well, it is kind of cold but expected since you are divorcing. However, I would think this would be split 50/50 since it was borrowed during the marriage. Either go get your property or at least a receipt from your in law saying he is storing it...
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:17:59 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2003 7:20:27 AM EDT by FLAL1A]
You do owe him the money. No way in hell would I sign the note. Listing [i]all[/i] creditors in a bankruptcy filing is [b]mandatory[/b]. The debt is a marital debt which should be apportioned in the divorce, unless you discharge it in bankruptcy before the divorce is final. Cleaning up all your debt - both of you - in bankruptcy [i]first[/i] will save a fair bit of aggravation in the divorce.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:18:00 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Ogre_4070: Well, it is kind of cold but expected since you are divorcing. However, I would think this would be split 50/50 since it was borrowed during the marriage. Either go get your property or at least a receipt from your in law saying he is storing it...
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Already divorced, was final in July. Good point about joint debt! I am composing a letter now, cc: my lawyer.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:20:16 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2003 7:21:01 AM EDT by prebans]
DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! Okay, my first bit of advice is not to sign anything. [:)] They gave you something and you agreed to pay it back as possible. Honor your verbal agreement. You gave a boat as partial payment. Subtract that out. You have equipment there. If it's sold, subtract it's REPLACEMENT value to you. If it becomes a negative balance, send THEM a bill! Mike
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:23:33 AM EDT
Originally Posted By TheKill: The kid is not mine!
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Do you have that in writing? Your name isn't on the birth certificate is it? Dot your eye's and cross your tee's
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:25:39 AM EDT
If a client came to me with this issue: 1. You agreed to pay 2. You have made a partial payment by giving him the boat. 3. Don't sign a damned thing- you don;t have to and it probably would not be valid anyway. 4. Sine he made the loan to you while married & so you and your wife (his daughter) could buy a home, the debt is community debt and you only owe 50% anyway. 5. If he has sold your equipment, what was the value of hte equipment? The debt may be paid off.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:27:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2003 7:27:59 AM EDT by FLAL1A]
Originally Posted By Tactical_Jew:
Originally Posted By TheKill: The kid is not mine!
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Do you have that in writing? Your name isn't on the birth certificate is it? Dot your eye's and cross your tee's
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Kid born after divorce = no presumption it's his. She'll have to take him to court if she thinks/claims it is. Now all he has to worry about is the [b]next[/b] chick who spends the night and comes up pregnant.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:39:47 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Tactical_Jew:
Originally Posted By TheKill: The kid is not mine!
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Do you have that in writing? Your name isn't on the birth certificate is it? Dot your eye's and cross your tee's
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Now way. Kid was born three weeks ago. She left me Nov 15th, 2002. Do the math. Guardian Ad Litem was my friend. Paternity was established in the divorce hearing and my lawyer questioned her, making sure it was put in the court record.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:46:23 AM EDT
I just don't get it. Her parents were always good to me, and I to them. They knew I have been hard up for cash. I think because I got a new job, they think I am rolling in money. Now I know where my ex got that thinking from. My GF says they are trying to squeeze me for cash to help thier daughter out. I am sure I already am (via taxes). And before some asshole jumps in to tell me I am reniging....I have always had repaying that debt in my mind, if I ever get enough money to spare! Now that they have done this, it makes me want to tell them to shove it. It's not my fault that money was wasted. It was thier daughter that pulled the trigger on ME. I tried to work it out with her (I didn't pressure her at all, just told her I was staying put if she wanted to work it out, she wanted no part of it), and I tried to keep our household together as long as I could.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:47:08 AM EDT
I'd handle it like this: 1. Take letter to in-laws to discuss what you owe. 2. Starting at $2500, deduct the fair market value of the boat and the trailer. 3. Look to see what, if any, of your equipment is left there. Put what's left in your paid-off truck. Deduct the fair market value of any missing items from the amount you owe them. 4. After doing the deductions, see who really owes who, and how much. 5. Don't sign anything. If, however, they owe you money, get them to sign a promissory note for the amount. Hilarity should ensue. Good luck.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:49:15 AM EDT
A new gentleman's agreement should be made that he should now give you your equipment back in exchanged for the signed letter, which will state that after you take care of any potential foreclosure, are employed and are solvent, that you will resume paying him for the loan. That is fair. I wouldn't sign under any other circumstances though, especially with the ex shacking up with a loser. THATS IF YOU WANT TO BE THE NICE GUY. Personally, I'd never sign anything like that. The loan directly benefited his daughter AND HIM since she was down the road from him. I'd say that loan was to you and your wife. [red]I[/red] would agree to pay half back with the return of my equipment. Perhaps you can work it out that he'll help prevent foreclosure and will recover the money from the sale of the home.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 7:56:58 AM EDT
This sounds really really ugly [b]She[/b] already has a [b]kid with another man[/b], and [b]you[/b] already have a [b]new girl friend[/b]. Sounds like the ex-inlaws, are going to stick up for their daughter and stick it to you in the mean time. Remember blood is thicker than paper. Talk to the ex-father-in-law work out an agreement, and sever all contact [b]ASAFP[/b]
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 8:14:00 AM EDT
Start making payments, if you already have another blood sucking girlfriend then you will never just have the money laying around. Do you still have the truck. Perhaps you need to sell some stuff and get your debts paid off so you can walk away and put all this behind you.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 8:26:05 AM EDT
Just include him in the bankruptcy.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 8:27:35 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2003 8:36:02 AM EDT by TUMOR]
Originally Posted By TheKill: The kid is not mine!
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Then SCREW THEM ALL! Tell you Ex-Outlaws to F^%K OFF! That same type of thing happened to me....my wife left me and then SHAZAM...turned up pregnant. She tried to sweet-talk me back into the sack to take responsibility for her boyfriends kid (He dumped her). "No thank you" I told her. She gives birth in NC.....the ONLY name she can put on the birth-certificate is mine!....or leave it blank. I go to the clerk of courts office to see the birth certificate and have to fight my way thru the elderly crones who work there to even see the certificate! The crones were protecting HER! She was trying to leverage me about the divorce settlement ......too bad it was a done deal as we already did a separation agreement. Her lawyer says "Better cough up some more $ or we'll contest the settlement." "Bring it on!" I told him "I can't wait to get her AND her huge Belly on the stand." "Mrs. Tumor....I see your pregnant...Do you know who the father is?......Is Mr.Tumor the father?....No!....You had relations outside of marriage!" She backed down....and payed me $ for my sworn statement that the kid WAS NOT mine. BITCH!
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 8:58:38 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BenDover: If you're filing bankruptcy anyway, name them as a creditor and thell them to STFU.
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Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!!!
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 9:06:30 AM EDT
Do not file Bankruptcy,and definately do not sign anything the opposition wants you to sign.Also, what ever you choose to talk to them about,Make damn sure you are only speaking to one person and not more than one.The reason for this is two or more people can claim that you agreed to the debt,and it will stand up in court and they will get a judgement against you.If it was a gentlemans agreement,leave it at that.But i advise you to do as another poster said,and go inventory your belongings that are left,deduct the replacement cost and who ever owes,pay up when you can.
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 9:06:59 AM EDT
Did the ex leave you? If so, I'd say that her breech of contract nullifies your "gentleman's" agreement with her old man..... which is nolonger a gentleman's agreement since he want's you to retroactively sign a contract. in short, write off the equipment at his house and throw the letter in the trash. This fucker doesn't have a leg to stand on. -HS
Link Posted: 11/25/2003 10:21:01 AM EDT
Originally Posted By David_Hineline: Start making payments, if you already have another blood sucking girlfriend then you will never just have the money laying around. Do you still have the truck. Perhaps you need to sell some stuff and get your debts paid off so you can walk away and put all this behind you.
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Yep we all know that's what you would do dave.
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