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Posted: 11/17/2003 1:06:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/17/2003 6:14:12 PM EDT by M4_Aiming_at_U]
I heard the best one this past weekend at an ARFCOM shoot. The member will remain nameless

Me~ "Hey, these are the AK mags I sold you a while back, huh? Wait a minute, why are a couple of these all rusty in some parts. The mags I sold you were good mags and didn’t have any rust on them when I sold it to ya"


Mystery Member~ "Uhhhh yeah..I..I got *Astro Glide on them and for some reason in made them rust real fast"

Me~ [Deep stare into Mystery Member's eyes trying not to fall on the ground laughing]

Mystery Member~ "DONT ASK!"




*Astro Glide is a sex lubricant use with couples. Actually pretty good stuff. I wouldn’t recommend it for a gun lube though
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 1:12:14 PM EDT
God I hope that was from a perverted sex act, and not a misinterpretation of 'lubricating properties'.
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 1:14:28 PM EDT
I don't wanna know where those mags have been!!!



NsB
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 1:14:46 PM EDT
I think astroglide is water based(to keep it from breaking down latex), so that would explain the rust.
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 1:16:34 PM EDT
I do!


Originally Posted By deimos:
I don't wanna know where those mags have been!!!



NsB

Link Posted: 11/17/2003 1:18:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/17/2003 1:19:11 PM EDT by Zaphod]
What I want to know is, who was the FIRST person who posted:


What gun did Al Pacino use in Heat?


Link Posted: 11/17/2003 1:22:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BaNo:
I think astroglide is water based(to keep it from breaking down latex), so that would explain the rust.

Actually, if those mags were used 'not in accordance with standard procedure', the fluid that caused the corrosion may have come from a different....source.
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 1:27:17 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 2:00:34 PM EDT
"thats fire you cant bring fire on the airplane!"
unknown airport security guy per Treetops flamingback pack story.
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 2:05:18 PM EDT
Chat favorites:


<GoldBunny> I'm tired of banning assholes, I want to kill them

<Kar98> In an age of ephemeral pleasures a man looks for something good, something lasting, something with meat, possibly potatoes. Not only does ARFCOM provide that soulful meat it also comes with hearty plot potatoes. Not the runny plot potatoes anyone could eat with a spoon! No, the kind of plot potatoes that a real man can pierce with a fork, hold aloft and pronounce "Behold! It sticks!".

<Kar98> But it gets better. The comedic meat and hearty plot potatoes are all covered in a thick coating of ribald gravy that satisfies even the most critical of gourmets. When a man finds all this on his plate he can only beam with joy and happily hand over whatever may lurk in his wallet along with songs of praise to the chef.

<DaBunny> middle aged until you are 60, argue with me, I shoot you...

<DaBunny> They say that evrything that can be accomplished with a gun, has been accomplish in Somalia...so with any luck we can have Washington DC looking like Mogadishu in a year or so.

<Tactical_Coastie> Glocks.......melt in your hand.......not in your mouth

<DaBunny> that's why I keep guns around, someday, somebody's gonna make a rule and......

<DaBunny> fat people represent a larger portion of humanity

<SniperWolfe> oh, no, it isnt' the same chick
<Kar98> words to wake up by
<Kar98> on sunday morning, hung over

<DaBunny> it's easy to find practicing psychologists, it harder to find performing psychologists

NASCAR = spec racer taxi's in a circle jerk looking for a demolition derby -- notack
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 2:07:21 PM EDT
ETH: Gunstock

"it could have been a small child.
it could have been a small child HOLDING an icechest
it could have been a small child HOLDING an icechest WITH scooter in it"

"as your attorney i advise you to take these"
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 2:17:02 PM EDT
All your base are belong to us !!
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 2:45:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/17/2003 3:09:15 PM EDT by TheRealSundance]

Originally Posted By M4_Aiming_at_U:
I heard the best one this past weekend at an ARFCOM shoot. The member will remain nameless

Me~ "Hey, these are the AK mags I sold you a while back, huh? Wait a minute, why are a couple of these all rusty in some parts. The mags I sold you were good mags and didn’t have any rust on them when I sold it to ya"


Mystery Member~ "Uhhhh yeah..I..I got *Astro Glide on them and for some reason in made them rust real fast"

Me~ [Deep stare into Mystery Member's eyes trying not to fall on the goring laughing]

Mystery Member~ "DONT ASK!"




*Astro Glide is a sex lubricant use with couples. Actually pretty good stuff. I wouldn’t recommend it for a gun lube though



That's funny since there was only three people there with AKs, and I sure haven't bought any mags from you. HHMMMMMMMMM! I wonder who the other guy shooting ak's was. Oh, yeah it was...........
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 3:53:35 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 4:19:45 PM EDT
My personal favorite is from racer:


My name is Ray, I live in CT and I like to drink iced coffee on hot summer days. The caffeine shakes do a number on my accuracy when I am at the range, but who cares? I have met some of my fellow ARFCommers, and they know my full name, my age (it always seems to be my birthday at Hooters, though) and that I like Guinness. I am not hiding behind my screen name (which is used elsewhere), but I will not always volunteer info, as to prevent being abducted, probed and used in scientific experiments. I will be happy to share more of my information when there is establishment of mutual interest. I registered with the forum so I could pick up girls. All the magazines I have read, it seems women seem to want an air of mystery around a potential mate, so I purposely leave my bio empty. My mother's maiden name does not match my last name, so being worried about ID theft, it is one less last name a criminal needs to sift through to find her maiden name. My mom always told me not to talk or go with strangers, and no one gets stranger than the users of www.ar15.com. I am scared of users from this board, and other firearms-related forums coming to get me in the night, so I drink lots of iced coffee to stay awake in the darkened corner of my room. Although, the iced coffee gives me real bad shakes that I try to fix with cheap wine, it still does a number on me, kinda like a poor-man's speedball. The only time it really affects me, is trying to control my breathing when shooting. Good thing I can use the window sill to steady the weapon, just in case folks from hkpro.com or sigforum.com want to take my precious bodily fluids. I am sure there are rogue agents from the IRS lurking these boards looking for me. I don't tell anyone on the internet where I hide all that cash for I don't want to pay taxes on it any of it. I stole it fair and square! The IRS should go after the hard working Americans who are easy to find. They shouldn't waste time and resources trying to find me. I will pay with pennies and dimes. I don't wear a tinfoil hat, so please don't tell me to tighten it. I have found the tinfoil reduces the effectiveness of reading other people's minds. I know what they are planning and I don't like it one bit! I am keeping all my GP90 and no one else can use it! Press Hard, You Are Making Three Copies I never press hard, as I never know where those other copies are going and why isn't there a Privacy Act Statement on forms outside of the military, why do they want that info? I know they are using it against me. Did you know you can tell where people are from based on the first three digits of the SSN? I don't want them getting that close to me. I don't hear voices in my head, they come from the TV. They tell me to drink more coffee and eat late at Wendy's. I get scared because my first girlfriend's name was Wendy and her dad owns a lot of guns. I am sure the voices want me dead because I would surely end up that way if I went to her house late at night, raided the fridge and woke her dad. Wendy doesn't live at home anymore and it's the only address I still have. The voices know that. The only time the voices stop is when I sleep, but I can't sleep for fear my precious bodily fluids will be stolen, see my predictament? I am so conflicted. If I eat at Wendy's, I will surely die and if I lose my precious bodily fluids, I will surely die. All I can do is drink more coffee and turn down the volume on the TV. That seems to help. Then, the lack of sleep brings on its own hallucinations. I read posts on the forums, dream (hallucinate) about dogs wearing MARPAT and trying to remember what kind of gun was in HEAT and try to figure out what a DIAS is and why people want one. But, if you want to know about an RDIAS, everything is OK? I guess having an R in front of anything is good. Good thing both my real name and my screen name start with R. I am sure if I got rid of the R, I would be royally screwed and I could not be mentioned on this forum. Would I still exist? Would anyone care? Would I be shunned from ARFCom functions? Would it be OK to have a RBOTD forum or thread outside of the Team Forum?


Link Posted: 11/17/2003 4:22:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Chapman:
My personal favorite is from racer:


My name is Ray, I live in CT and I like to drink iced coffee on hot summer days. The caffeine shakes do a number on my accuracy when I am at the range, but who cares? I have met some of my fellow ARFCommers, and they know my full name, my age (it always seems to be my birthday at Hooters, though) and that I like Guinness. I am not hiding behind my screen name (which is used elsewhere), but I will not always volunteer info, as to prevent being abducted, probed and used in scientific experiments. I will be happy to share more of my information when there is establishment of mutual interest. I registered with the forum so I could pick up girls. All the magazines I have read, it seems women seem to want an air of mystery around a potential mate, so I purposely leave my bio empty. My mother's maiden name does not match my last name, so being worried about ID theft, it is one less last name a criminal needs to sift through to find her maiden name. My mom always told me not to talk or go with strangers, and no one gets stranger than the users of www.ar15.com. I am scared of users from this board, and other firearms-related forums coming to get me in the night, so I drink lots of iced coffee to stay awake in the darkened corner of my room. Although, the iced coffee gives me real bad shakes that I try to fix with cheap wine, it still does a number on me, kinda like a poor-man's speedball. The only time it really affects me, is trying to control my breathing when shooting. Good thing I can use the window sill to steady the weapon, just in case folks from hkpro.com or sigforum.com want to take my precious bodily fluids. I am sure there are rogue agents from the IRS lurking these boards looking for me. I don't tell anyone on the internet where I hide all that cash for I don't want to pay taxes on it any of it. I stole it fair and square! The IRS should go after the hard working Americans who are easy to find. They shouldn't waste time and resources trying to find me. I will pay with pennies and dimes. I don't wear a tinfoil hat, so please don't tell me to tighten it. I have found the tinfoil reduces the effectiveness of reading other people's minds. I know what they are planning and I don't like it one bit! I am keeping all my GP90 and no one else can use it! Press Hard, You Are Making Three Copies I never press hard, as I never know where those other copies are going and why isn't there a Privacy Act Statement on forms outside of the military, why do they want that info? I know they are using it against me. Did you know you can tell where people are from based on the first three digits of the SSN? I don't want them getting that close to me. I don't hear voices in my head, they come from the TV. They tell me to drink more coffee and eat late at Wendy's. I get scared because my first girlfriend's name was Wendy and her dad owns a lot of guns. I am sure the voices want me dead because I would surely end up that way if I went to her house late at night, raided the fridge and woke her dad. Wendy doesn't live at home anymore and it's the only address I still have. The voices know that. The only time the voices stop is when I sleep, but I can't sleep for fear my precious bodily fluids will be stolen, see my predictament? I am so conflicted. If I eat at Wendy's, I will surely die and if I lose my precious bodily fluids, I will surely die. All I can do is drink more coffee and turn down the volume on the TV. That seems to help. Then, the lack of sleep brings on its own hallucinations. I read posts on the forums, dream (hallucinate) about dogs wearing MARPAT and trying to remember what kind of gun was in HEAT and try to figure out what a DIAS is and why people want one. But, if you want to know about an RDIAS, everything is OK? I guess having an R in front of anything is good. Good thing both my real name and my screen name start with R. I am sure if I got rid of the R, I would be royally screwed and I could not be mentioned on this forum. Would I still exist? Would anyone care? Would I be shunned from ARFCom functions? Would it be OK to have a RBOTD forum or thread outside of the Team Forum?





Link Posted: 11/17/2003 4:30:47 PM EDT
Was there also rust on the end of the barrel??

Because that would explain a few things.

SGtar15
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 5:30:50 PM EDT

Patiently waiting for the first DUMB-ASS to post something about "Shall Not Be Infringed"


Author to remain nameless.
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 5:38:24 PM EDT
Q: Which way do you turn a flash suppressor to remove it?
A: Turn it one way, if it doesn't come off, TURN IT THE OTHER WAY.
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 5:55:19 PM EDT
wanna see something funny..... wave
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 6:00:08 PM EDT
I'd personally like to find out who came up with "IBTL".
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 6:01:48 PM EDT
Yeah M4, who ever that mystery member is should come forward. Not their member....I mean...not come....just foreward....I ADMIT NOTHING!!!
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 6:16:59 PM EDT
"I'm not a Fed." - Imbroglio
"I'm Not a Fed." - Imbroglio
"I'm Not A Fed." - Imbroglio
"I'M NOT A FED!" - Imbroglio
"Someday you will all regret these false and baseless accusations against me." - Imbroglio
"I'M NOT A FED! - Imbroglio
Link Posted: 11/17/2003 8:13:49 PM EDT
Damn right I'm going to shoot you. Every round in the gun is headed right for the back of your head.
- LEO Johninaustin, 01/07/2003 : 21:04:31
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 9:44:34 AM EDT
LOL

Didnt WAVE say something like
"Whoa cows really do go moo!" at Gunstock?

I may be dreaming but I thought I heard that.
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 9:55:50 AM EDT

Originally Posted By M4_Aiming_at_U:
LOL

Didnt WAVE say something like
"Whoa cows really do go moo!" at Gunstock?

I may be dreaming but I thought I heard that.



I read that on the Team Area
Someone even took it as a .sig line

NsB
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 10:22:42 AM EDT
Would the astroglide on the mags explain why your brass was flying so far, cause it was really flying...........BTW, I didn't bring an AK Sat.......
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 10:32:53 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 10:38:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RipMeyer:

Patiently waiting for the first DUMB-ASS to post something about "Shall Not Be Infringed"


Author to remain nameless.




That would be one of our resident power-tripping supertroopers.
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 10:39:58 AM EDT
"I got a turd pokin' at the hatch boys!"

1Gunrunner after Breakfast at the Diner but before the 'refresh stop' at the Pease River State Park Bathroom and Shower facilities. To get the full effect of this statement, one needs to be severely hung-over, stuffed in ETH's Jeep, smelly, full of Homemade delicacies from the 'girls' at the Diner, and suffering through 15 miles of the most rank assplosions that have ever been. As the green cloud is slowly dissipating, imagine that Gun turns around and as an apology utters the immortal line above. Classic
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 10:45:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By wiggy762:
"I got a turd pokin' at the hatch boys!"

1Gunrunner after Breakfast at the Diner but before the 'refresh stop' at the Pease River State Park Bathroom and Shower facilities. To get the full effect of this statement, one needs to be severely hung-over, stuffed in ETH's Jeep, smelly, full of Homemade delicacies from the 'girls' at the Diner, and suffering through 15 miles of the most rank assplosions that have ever been. As the green cloud is slowly dissipating, imagine that Gun turns around and as an apology utters the immortal line above. Classic




Ranch dressing everywhere...
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 10:50:14 AM EDT
Hold my beer, watch this.
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 10:53:34 AM EDT
Dam, Glad I wasn't there.
OH, that's right.
I don't own an AK.
And haven't bought any mags from M4.
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 11:02:25 AM EDT


GET BOTH

Link Posted: 11/18/2003 1:02:43 PM EDT
Great Quotes In ARFCOM History

Hey any of you guy's seen the movie HEAT....
what kind of (ar-15,fal,ak,shotgun,pistol,bra or elbow) was that......
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 1:25:15 PM EDT
How about the post from the navy dentist who said he would plead conciousous objector status if he ever got orders to a war zone?

That one was a classic in my book. Lost it when my computer crashed and burned.
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 1:49:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/18/2003 2:10:35 PM EDT
When IMBROGLIO ate nothing but Grape-Nuts for 3 days, and was giving us the meal by meal results.


Day #3 " I think I just gave birth to a new chain of tropical Islands"
Link Posted: 11/19/2003 10:39:43 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/19/2003 1:56:43 PM EDT by Zaphod]

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:
all with Christopher Reeve Autograph Edition lower limbs....



(While discussing getting up from the crapper after his legs had fallen asleep....)

Link Posted: 11/19/2003 11:04:22 AM EDT
Another great insight from Wave:

"Are you really a librarian?"
Link Posted: 11/19/2003 11:10:43 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/19/2003 11:45:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By EricTheHun:
Obviously, Wave, never saw 'The Music Man', eh, Marian?

MARIAN, THE LIBRARIAN

Marian, madam librarian

What can I do, my dear, to catch your ear?
I love you madly, madly, madam librarian, Marian
Heaven help us if the library caught on fire
And the volunteer hose brigade men
Had to whisper the news to Marian, madam librarian

What can I do, my dear, to make it clear?
I need you badly, badly, madam librarian, Marian
If I stumbled and I busted my whatchamacallit
I could lie on your floor unnoticed
'til my body had turned to carrion
Madam librarain

Now in the moonlight a man could sing it
In the moonlight
And a fella would know that his darlin'
Had heard every word of his song
With the moonlight helping along

But when I try in here to tell you dear
I love you madly, madly, madam librarian, Marian
It's a long lost cause, I can never win
For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin
Any talking out loud with any librarian
Such as Marian, madam librarian

(c)1957 Meredith Willson

Eric The(Musical)Hun



I love being serendaded! And, no, I don't think he's seen that or real cows.
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