A few thoughts from George Carlin...  He should run for political office!
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel
governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to
crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or
Marilyn Manson sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in
English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular
opinions or actions.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put
your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be
enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.
Hillary Clinton is a carpet-munching lesbian... not that there is
anything wrong with that
My heroes are John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I
am freezing my ass through a long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the
desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or
been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-#$%!-up
already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
preaches. And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the
problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking
the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation the world for the
next four years.
I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap
or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
These people should be targets.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should
be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to
never delay the rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't
pretend they are a political statement.
I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the
mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for
both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.
If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

hmm..  I almost think this must be a different George Carlin

[url]http://www.georgecarlin.com/georgecarlin/media/video/jrand.mov[/url]

Whoever it is,  DITTO!!!

[img]www.twistedhumor.com/pi/2001/may/images/clintonsays(TwistedHumor.com).jpg[/img]

Why be politically correct when you can simply be correct?

I remember Ozzy on some talk show after the kid offed himself, and the hose asked him what he thought about that...

"I don't know, but, I think that any album you can listen to for 26 straight hours, has GOT to be a damn fine record."

And quoth Bill Engvall; "When did shrapnel bocome a fashipon accessory?"

FFZ

y know i think i like this guy.