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Posted: 10/28/2003 7:04:17 AM EDT
This subject came up at our Thursday Beerfest. It was Kikomax's idea.

Anyone feel the need for a short guy to run alongside you and pass you loaded mags, pick up the empties and hand up refresshments form the cooler?

We were I was picturing some little dude w/ a rickshaw. In the rickshaw, a large igloo w/ ice and beverages & ammo cans slung on the side.

I think its a great idea.
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:06:30 AM EDT
Yeah.....they're called CHILDREN....
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:12:26 AM EDT
short guy??? how about a tall brunette?

NsB
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:14:25 AM EDT
Your thinking of the Jason Boland song- "I want a 3 ft. tall Nymphomaniac"!
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:17:00 AM EDT
been waiting for this...

Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:29:02 AM EDT
None of you guys would post it.

Hell, I f you needed a rest for your bipod, have the little guy run around & put the bipod legs on his shoulders:)
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:32:40 AM EDT

Your thinking of the Jason Boland song- "I want a 3 ft. tall Nymphomaniac"!


you're thinking of jason boland's, "rich young dumb nymphomaniac"

"........we'll make her 3 feet tall, and stand about to here, with a flat spot on her head so i can rest my beer............."

Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:53:06 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/28/2003 7:53:56 AM EDT by SC-Texas]
Yep, that's the song!

Saw part of his show Sat. Didn't get to hear him sign that one though. Heard truckstop diaries.

Anyway, Back to the tactical dwarf! A thrououghly useful idea if you ask me!
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:58:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
Yeah.....they're called CHILDREN....



Actually mine is named Tattoo.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 8:40:09 AM EDT
I showed my 12-year old how to use the LULA, so I don't have to load mags anymore.
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 10:01:20 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/28/2003 10:12:56 AM EDT by FourStringSlinger]
I got one of them pre-ban EBADs [evil black assault dwarf].

No matter how many times I beat him, he keeps throwing his poop at folks, and waving his "battering ram" at female passerby.

Sometimes I'll catch him and his buddies in the living room late at night, drinking beer and smoking stogies, decked out in renny gear, watching LOTR, having swordfights, and screaming "YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCHES?"

I hear the post-ban models are alot safer for us, though.
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 10:11:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SC-Texas:
This subject came up at our Thursday Beerfest. It was Kikomax's idea.
Anyone feel the need for a short guy to run alongside you and pass you loaded mags, pick up the empties and hand up refresshments form the cooler?
We were I was picturing some little dude w/ a rickshaw. In the rickshaw, a large igloo w/ ice and beverages & ammo cans slung on the side.
I think its a great idea.


you my friend, are a genius!
Do I hear a group buy coming?
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 10:17:10 AM EDT
I love this board!!

What about the advatages of a migit on a DET team like as the first guy in, think about it no BG would be expecting it they would all be aiming high the little migit could tke a bunch out befor the BG's figured it out!!!!

HAHHAH just picturing one in a tac gear is making me laugh

knee high P.I.
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 10:21:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FourStringSlinger:
Sometimes I'll catch him and his buddies in the living room late at night, drinking beer and smoking stogies, decked out in renny gear, watching LOTR, having swordfights, and screaming "YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCHES?"


Worthless w/o pics!
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 11:14:57 AM EDT
Where the hell is KIKOMAX and 308Wood on this one?
Link Posted: 10/28/2003 7:47:35 PM EDT
Hey SC,

You forgot that the little gun buddy guy has got to wear a lot of black velcro. Once we're done shooting we can have a dwarf tossing contest and try to stick em to the wall.

Link Posted: 10/28/2003 8:02:04 PM EDT
They're called Powder Monkeys.
Link Posted: 10/29/2003 6:49:09 AM EDT
1st draftee should be Beetlejuice

Link Posted: 10/29/2003 6:57:40 AM EDT
I like the idea, velcro & camo
Link Posted: 10/29/2003 7:02:39 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/29/2003 7:02:49 AM EDT by SGTIMAK]
I always felt that there should be a SpecOps unit comprised of dwarves. You can fit more onto aircraft for airborne/air assaults and enemy snipers would range them all wrong because of the height difference.
Link Posted: 10/29/2003 7:04:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:

Your thinking of the Jason Boland song- "I want a 3 ft. tall Nymphomaniac"!


you're thinking of jason boland's, "rich young dumb nymphomaniac"

"........we'll make her 3 feet tall, and stand about to here, with a flat spot on her head so i can rest my beer............."


What album is this song from? I haven't heard it.
Link Posted: 10/29/2003 8:43:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:

Your thinking of the Jason Boland song- "I want a 3 ft. tall Nymphomaniac"!


you're thinking of jason boland's, "rich young dumb nymphomaniac"

"........we'll make her 3 feet tall, and stand about to here, with a flat spot on her head so i can rest my beer............."




Isn't this from John Carney's (Moby) description of the perfect woman?


"Gourmet cook, bisexual, sports fan, three feet tall, big ears, no teeth, and a flat head that you can set your drink on.....and turns into a six pack and Pizza at midnight"

Now about the tactical dwarf....I picture Mini-Me from Austin Powers, all dressed in camo and velcro...you could just buy a good dog kennel and haul him around in the back of your truck.

He could load mags during the drive to the shooting area.....mix tannerite.....and watch your truck when you stop to pee...
Link Posted: 10/30/2003 5:46:24 AM EDT
For those of you who wanted to know:

Artist/Band: Boland Jason Tablatures
Song: Rich Young Dumb Nympho Tablatures

Title: Rich, Young, Dumb, Nymphomaniac
Artist: Jason Boland and the Stragglers
Songwriters: Jason Boland


single strum first and last verse

(G) well welcome everybody to (C)Willies place

You can (D)pull up a chair or you can (G) pull up my face

(G)we got everything, the (C)only thing that we lack (D)is a rich young
dumb
nympho(G)maniac

Chorus
­
(G)I wanna rich youg dumb nympho(C)maniac

To (D)drive me around in her (G)cadillac

(G)If she's not down on her knees she will be (C)flat on her back

I wanna (D)rich youg dumb nympho(G)maniac

we'll give her great big tits and a little bitty ass
a fucking machine that never runs out of gas
a body like nobody's ever seen before
she recently inherited a liquor store

Chorus

well she doesn't wanna marry and she doesn't wanna fight
she doesn't get the shits if I stay out all night
I bring home another woman she just gives me a smile
take of our clothes then we buck in a pile

Chorus

Make her a magic fingers mama that can roll up my doobs
the best in the west at cooking chinese food
she doesn't like to shop and she don't wear clothes
she always compliments me on the size of my hose

Chorus

we'll make her three feet tall
and stand about to here
with a flat spot on her head
so I can rest my beer

Chorus
Rich Young Dumb Nympho

Link Posted: 10/30/2003 8:25:27 AM EDT
I cannot believe that this didn't get any response from the trolls:)
Link Posted: 10/30/2003 8:38:27 AM EDT
Short people.

Link Posted: 10/30/2003 8:48:46 AM EDT
Tactical Dwarf = Pat Rogers
Link Posted: 10/30/2003 9:12:15 AM EDT
I strongly believe that every clique of friends should include a midget, or dwarf, or both....

Thet are usually bright,and clever and fun to be around.


As long as they are not part of the dreaded midget pirates of willy-goat.
Link Posted: 10/30/2003 10:46:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FourStringSlinger:
I got one of them pre-ban EBADs [evil black assault dwarf].



You got Gary Coleman? or is that Emannual Lewis?
Link Posted: 11/19/2003 9:16:25 AM EDT
I shall call him Minimi!
Link Posted: 11/19/2003 9:22:26 AM EDT
i can see it now.
blaze orange jump suit.
orange tac nylon.
in large print on the front and back of the assault vest is printed.
"LESS LETHAL"
Link Posted: 11/19/2003 9:24:54 AM EDT
Just think of it:

A little guy unning around with a kevlar helmut that goes down to his shoulders, an army flak jacket that drapes to below his knees and has the words: LESS LETHAL stencilled across the back.
Link Posted: 11/20/2003 5:17:56 AM EDT
You folks ever wonder if somebody with dwarfism ever came here because he was interested in AR15s, and saw this topic?
Yeah, exactly. Locked.
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