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Posted: 6/21/2003 8:53:21 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/21/2003 8:53:55 PM EDT by smokycity]
My divorce is about to be final. I will be moving away from the cranky other half and hopefully experiencing a new outlook on life. In going through a bunch of stuff as I prepare to move, I found a bunch of old cards my ex gave me. Stuff for aniversaries, birthdays, fathers day etc. My question is what do I do with them? I feel bad getting rid of them, because I am a rather sentimental kind of guy. But I don't really want to keep them because they are painfull reminders of a failed relationship. I thought about just keeping the ones that are "from" my daughter, even though she really isn't old enough to write yet, and dumping the ones from the wife and wiping the slate clean so to speak.
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 8:56:40 PM EDT
Keep what you want, toss what you don't.
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 9:05:32 PM EDT
Bring them to Bulletfest to use as targets.
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 9:43:04 PM EDT
Originally Posted By smokycity: I thought about just keeping the ones that are "from" my daughter, even though she really isn't old enough to write yet, and dumping the ones from the wife and wiping the slate clean so to speak.
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That's what I would do. I think keeping her cards might actually prolong your suffering. When you physically rid yourself of memories, it get's your brain on the track to do the same. You'll never forget the truley good times you shared, but you will begin to bring closure and start the moving on process much easier.
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 9:55:34 PM EDT
I'm a sentimental guy too. I kept quite a few "things" after my divorce. About five years later, I was cleaning stuff out and wondered "why in the hell did I save THAT?". Merril_B seemed to give good advice IMO.
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 10:01:21 PM EDT
Burn baby burn
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 10:02:30 PM EDT
Fire good.
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 10:13:45 PM EDT
Keep the ones from your daughter. You'll regret it later if you don't.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 12:02:53 AM EDT
Keep the one's from the kids (they're irreplacable) but cut up the rest and send it back to you soon to be ex in a package and smothered in dog crap. HTH Karl
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 12:18:35 AM EDT
get a cheap footlocker and put the stuff in that and lock it up. In a few years, go through it and sort it out. You'll know what to keep then. Time tends to soften things up a bit. pic, out.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 7:16:45 AM EDT
Follow pic's advice; take the easy, low stress decision now, and the decision later will be easy and low stress.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 7:27:21 AM EDT
Man, I have letters/notes that I got from girlfriends in Jr. high school. I have rocks that I found as a child. I keep these things for what reason? I can't answer that. It is cool to get the letters out and read them once in a while,brings back a million memories. I say if you hate your ex, then destroy the stuff,if not stash them away,for later. AB
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 7:28:41 AM EDT
Thanks for the replies. I like a few of the ideas. I might use all of them. I can always use targets or something to spark the BBQ grill. The good thing is I got transfered in my job and I am escaping the Union of New York Socialist Republics (the 5 buroughs) and seeking asylum in northern VA. It's not quite my native Florida, but its better. The ex is from NY and she thinks its a wonderful place [puke]. I just regret my daughter will be brought up here. [banghead]
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 7:44:10 AM EDT
Originally Posted By smokycity: I feel bad getting rid of them, because I am a rather sentimental kind of guy. But I don't really want to keep them because they are painfull reminders of a failed relationship. I thought about just keeping the ones that are "from" my daughter, even though she really isn't old enough to write yet, and dumping the ones from the wife and wiping the slate clean so to speak.
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Box 'em all up, and keep 'em for now, deal with it when the pain is not fresh. There may be things valuable to you, kids, (or the ex), there.... Somw day you can decide what's important, not now. Good luck, have a happy life!
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 7:47:38 AM EDT
Keep everything your kids have ever done or given to you. As far as the ex's cards: Put them in a big envelope and send them to her with instructions to fold them 'til they're all points and stick them where the sun doesn't shine!
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 7:52:54 AM EDT
Originally Posted By piccolo: get a cheap footlocker and put the stuff in that and lock it up. In a few years, go through it and sort it out. You'll know what to keep then. Time tends to soften things up a bit. pic, out.
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Mega Dittoes
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:26:35 AM EDT
Turn the page, baby. Dump em all in the shitcan and don't look back....
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:47:33 AM EDT
The stuff from your daughter is worth hanging onto. Years down the road, this is going to enrichen your relationship. If there is anything that's functional, you may want to just use it somehow. Example: After a bitter split up and custody battle which was a real challenge in all respects, even after it was 'over', I found a T-shirt that was a souvenir from a visit to the school where she was 'temporarily' at while we thought (well, me, anyway) we had a relationship. In reality, she couldn't keep her pants on for as much as 3 months. While I was there, she took me in to the corner store the guy ran. Well, I found that T-shirt and decide to wear it anyway - - to not let her memory have significant power over me. Of course for a while, each time I'd put it on , there would be a little 'replay' in my mind, followed by "I'm over her". Now it's pretty well worn out, and it's going either into the "work on car" or the "rag". But for the non-functional stuff, I just can't see any value in hanging on to the "her" things. When a relationship has changed so much, what can those sentimental things add to it? They will just hold you back from getting on with your life. Not so the "daughter stuff"
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:10:27 AM EDT
The cards and things from your daughter you keep. they are a part of her life with you. The stuff from the exwife you can keep it for your daughter its where she comes from. Or Give it back to the ex, put it in a box and return it to her telling her you no longer have a need for it. don't say anything more just walk away. Your new life is all about you and your little girl. This is what I did. Good luck Neanderthal
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:18:03 AM EDT
I just started mine, when you figure it out please let me know. I am losing my house and what the hell might as well give it all up.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:27:46 AM EDT
Originally Posted By smokycity: The good thing is I got transfered in my job and I am escaping the Union of New York Socialist Republics (the 5 buroughs) and seeking asylum in northern VA. [banghead]
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Northern Virginia is no asylum from New York, it's pretty much the same. Traffic, crime, housing cost's etc. Good luck to you.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:34:07 AM EDT
Originally Posted By nwatson99: I just started mine, when you figure it out please let me know. I am losing my house and what the hell might as well give it all up.
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I'm sorry to hear that, you have my condolences. I don't know what you mean by "all", but I DO know, God always has a plan.... Give Him a listen....
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 11:39:04 AM EDT
Built bon fire, open bottle of your favorite drink, burn the shit... and never look back. It works wonders.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 12:47:11 PM EDT
A few hundred rounds of 00 buck and a case or so of .223/7.62, does wonders to pictures and other stuff you thought had meaning. It brings some nice closure to everything. Not that I would know or anything.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 1:01:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By piccolo: get a cheap footlocker and put the stuff in that and lock it up. In a few years, go through it and sort it out. You'll know what to keep then. Time tends to soften things up a bit. pic, out.
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This is what I was going to say but you beat me to it![:d] BigDozer66
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 3:56:03 PM EDT
Targets.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:05:02 PM EDT
When I was younger I would keep cards ect. from EX,A,B,C in seperate boxes. When A,B,orC is over you set material from apropiate box out.[noclue] Get you a pity piece everytime.[naughty] Oh, Keep the daughters no matter what, she is the one that counts.[headbang]
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 4:07:20 PM EDT
Guys and girls most people think that getting a divorce is like cutting a rope with one swift chop with a sharp axe. This is not true. A divorce is more like cutting a stranded wire cable with a set of side cutter pliers. You start on one little wire at a time until you have eventually cut all of them. Sometimes it takes awhile to cut all of them but you have to start somewhere. Me personally I would toss the little things from her all those feeling that you shared are gone.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 5:16:54 PM EDT
Keep the kids stuff. As for the ex-wife, shoot it, burn it, wipe your ass with it whatever, just get rid of it. You do not need that shit hanging around to bring back old memories. You have a new life now, don't let yourself be hung up on the old one.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 5:56:40 PM EDT
... I don't belive in throwing away anything like that. Pictures and items unique to your life are irreplaceable. Someday you'll wish you had not tossed 'em.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 6:03:08 PM EDT
I dunno about the cards...........got any nekkid pictures of the ex, though?????? [:D]
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 6:13:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By AFARR: I dunno about the cards...........got any nekkid pictures of the ex, though?????? [:D]
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Trust me if I did,,I have a whole list of people they would be mailed to.[}:D]
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 6:24:50 PM EDT
Originally Posted By bvmjethead: Northern Virginia is no asylum from New York, it's pretty much the same. Traffic, crime, housing cost's etc. Good luck to you.
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It's gotta be better than NY, Up here I can't even posess my AR. (It's in storage at my parents in FL). If I moved out of the city I probably could bring it up here. But people in this area think you have "machine gun" if you own an AR. Not to mention the moron city council members who are pushing to ban any toy that even resemble a firearm. I guess it's better to get rid of toy guns than to lock up the jackass criminal who goes out and buys a toy gun, spray paints it black to make it more real, then goes out and commits robberies with it. Then when the criminal points it the cops and gets shot by the cops, sues the city, or his next of kin sues the city. And of course its the cops fault for not realizing it was a fake gun.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 7:06:58 PM EDT
HULK SMA...! Never mind. Toss 'em.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 7:56:49 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Shooter505: Guys and girls most people think that getting a divorce is like cutting a rope with one swift chop with a sharp axe. This is not true. A divorce is more like cutting a stranded wire cable with a set of side cutter pliers. You start on one little wire at a time until you have eventually cut all of them. Sometimes it takes awhile to cut all of them but you have to start somewhere. Me personally I would toss the little things from her all those feeling that you shared are gone.
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Fookin' A! Mine has been a 6" frickin suspension cable so far! LOL! Hey, here is a hint. If you ever have a girl that has strong feelings about you....she will NOT like seeing shit from your ex!!!!!
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 9:13:05 PM EDT
I would keep all the stuff in a box and give it your daughter some day. Despite the divorce, you and your ex are still her parents and she might want the stuff.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 10:12:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Motor_City_Tactical: Turn the page, baby. Dump em all in the shitcan and don't look back....
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Good advice! But keep the stuff from the kids, after all, they'll always be your kids regardless of who or what their mother is. I'd take any sentimental shit from your wife to the range and shoot it up.
Link Posted: 6/22/2003 11:10:53 PM EDT
Since I have a son. I have saved some pictures of my ex and me for him. Such as wedding, birhtdays, parties, and camping trips. Just because me and my ex didn't work out. I thought of my son wanting these someday. I only have one wedding picture of my parents and wish I had more.
Link Posted: 6/23/2003 12:41:08 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/23/2003 3:08:35 AM EDT
Stuff them all in a sack or box with a bottle of Tannerite and go shooting. Keep anything that could be used against her in the future. Especially incriminating photos. A friend of mine who was divorced & remarried tossed everything, wedding albums, furniture, kitchen utensils, everything that reminded them of their previous marriage. Clean slate.
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