Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts from
 National Public Radio and an Israeli soldier were
 hiking through the jungle one day when they were
 captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to the
 village and brought before the chief.
 
   The chief said, "I am familiar with your western
 custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before
 we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?"
 
   Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like
 one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili." The chief
 nodded to an underling, who left and returned with
 the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can
 die content."
 
   Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this
 life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the
 poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing
 "We Shall Overcome" one last time."
 
   The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening."
 
   Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can
 die in peace."
 
   Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I
 want to take out my tape recorder and describe the
 scene here and what's about to happen.  Maybe
 someday someone will hear it and know that I was on
 the job til the end."
 
   The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape
 recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She
 then said, "Now I can die happy."
 
   The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Israeli
 soldier, what is your final wish?"
 
   "Kick me in the ass." said the Israeli.
 
   "What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your
 last hour?"
 
   "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the
 ass." insisted the Israeli.
 
    So the chief untied the soldier, shoved him into
 the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Israeli
 went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a
Glock 30 from his waistband, and shot the chief
 dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his
 knapsack, pulled out his uzi, and sprayed the
 cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals
 were dead or fleeing for their lives.
 
    As the Israeli was untying the others, they asked
 him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you
 ask them to kick you in the ass?"
 
    "What!?" said the Israeli, "And have you jerks
call ME the aggressor?!? 

Great freakin punch line, yet sad because it's true.