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Posted: 6/18/2003 6:12:36 PM EDT
Was in process of getting my son ready for his bath....took off his very wet diaper... folded it all up and underhand lobbed it accross the house towards the garbage can in the kitchen...bout 20 feet....it had the perfect arc and trajectory....till it hit my wife square in the face....it is VERYYYYY quiet in my house now. Guns are locked in vault and secured. Wife is sitting on couch not talking to me. Do I sleep in my truck tonight? the couch? or tough it out and crawl into our bed. The fact that I could not have planned such a shot in my life did not console her much....she is pissed at me. (Pardon the pun)
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:15:04 PM EDT
Tell her to get over it or that you will do it again! That or say from now on she has to do all the diapers. I don't think either of these responses could make it any worse.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:15:37 PM EDT
Find an all night flower store...and fast!
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:16:02 PM EDT
I'm sorry, but [LOL] "run awayyyyyyyyyyyy"
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:18:16 PM EDT
Can I have your stuff?
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:21:57 PM EDT
When you do something like that you need to shout something like, "Bitch, throw that in the garbage can and go get me a beer before I whup your ass"! Then say, "did I say that out loud"?
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:23:40 PM EDT
So we can surmise the wife isn't into water sports...?!! [BD]
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:26:43 PM EDT
Um.... You're fucked..... What cool toys are you gonna be leaving behind, and when do you want to send them to me?? I will take good care of them and shoot them in your honor!!
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:28:35 PM EDT
Hey, what's the big deal? We've all been shit-faced at some point.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:29:54 PM EDT
She should be thanking her lucky stars it was just soaked and not filled, if ya know what I mean!! TT
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:31:00 PM EDT
I call dibs on any black rifles! Bilster Seriously, you know what she likes. Get her that NOW!
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:37:33 PM EDT
You were changing a diaper? She should be gratefull!
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:39:08 PM EDT
No flowers at this time round here. So I did the next best thing...ran out and got popsicles for the pregnant lady...she is now at least talking to me once in a while, but still on the other couch. Gonna be a long night in the Cosmos house...
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:42:02 PM EDT
Try humor. Say something like, "Leave it to a chick to get all pissy over kid shit." Then poke her in the ribs while yelling, "GET IT?!? PISSY?? KID SHIT?? GET IT???" At that point, she'll hurt you so frigging badly that you can actually tip the guilt balance *back* to your side... when you eventually make it out of the coma. Assuming you *do* make it out. Come to think of it... never mind. At least you didn't call her fat.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:45:55 PM EDT
Originally Posted By pale_pony: You were changing a diaper? She should be gratefull!
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I change a lot of diapers. While I was laid off I was pretty much a stay at home dad. And yes compared to most of her friends she has it pretty easy with how much I do. Although in the middle of the night when he wakes up crying...he will only stop if Dad comes in and tells him he is ok..which makes for some bleary eyed mornings at work.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:52:42 PM EDT
Why was she trying to catch it in her teeth?
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 6:53:11 PM EDT
OMFG!! Just the thought of that kept me laughing for 15 mins... My sides hurt... OK, First question: did she get very dirty/splatterd (as if you threw a full plastic cup at her)? Second question: If she did, mind if I get all your weapons and tools so the lawyer dont take em? Third question: how'd you react to this? Did you run up and start appologizing and cleaning her up, or did you break out laughing or something else stupid like say 'oh shit' and just walk away? Fourth question: How much money do you have on you right now? Go out and buy all the flowers you can afford, then get some jewlery. Or whatever else she likes (DONT give her a gun, knive-set, ammunition, or anything that can potentially be used against you) Fifth question: Can you keep a straight face? Get the stuff(flowers, whatever else), then get the fuck down on your knees and say how stupid trying to take that shot was and beg for forgiveness. That might help [:)]
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 8:44:34 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Andreuha: OMFG!! Just the thought of that kept me laughing for 15 mins... My sides hurt... OK, First question: did she get very dirty/splatterd (as if you threw a full plastic cup at her)? [red]No, it was a wet diaper and the liquid stays pretty absorbed in it[/red] Second question: If she did, mind if I get all your weapons and tools so the lawyer dont take em? [red]The weapons go to my son(s).[/red] Third question: how'd you react to this? Did you run up and start appologizing and cleaning her up, or did you break out laughing or something else stupid like say 'oh shit' and just walk away? [red]I was unable to run to her as my son was in the tub. Leaving toddlers alone in the tub is a big no no. I yelled my apologies to her from the bathroom, but did laugh silently as it seemed comical at the time[/red] Fourth question: How much money do you have on you right now? Go out and buy all the flowers you can afford, then get some jewlery. Or whatever else she likes (DONT give her a gun, knive-set, ammunition, or anything that can potentially be used against you) [red]Forget flowers...she is pregnant...the quickest way to a pregnant lady's heart is through her stomach...I bought her popsicles[/red] Fifth question: Can you keep a straight face? Get the stuff(flowers, whatever else), then get the fuck down on your knees and say how stupid trying to take that shot was and beg for forgiveness. [red]She is talking to me, but rather unromantic towards me tonight...go figure.[/red] That might help [:)]
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Link Posted: 6/18/2003 8:56:33 PM EDT
Ask her if it really is better to be pissed off than pissed on. [LOL]
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 9:01:00 PM EDT
Suggest switching to cloth diapers so she will realize how good she has it.
Link Posted: 6/18/2003 9:06:39 PM EDT
Man, there isn't enough flowers or candy in the world to help smooth this over. You are going to have to tough it out and try to stay on her good side for the 2-3 months or so. you ---> [toilet]<--- your home life
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 7:20:50 AM EDT
This'll blow over in short order and become a funny story some day, just not tomorrow, or maybe any time in the next ten or fifteen years. Really, the guys on this site must have some pretty dodgy relationships if something like this will put it into the dumper for anything more than a day or two. It was a flippin' accident after all and sooner or later, flaky pregnant hormones or not, she'll figure that out and you'll be fine. Sometimes I'd swear that most of you guys think that changing diapers, doing dishes or helping out around the house is some sign that you are going homo or something, so you intentionally cultivate the social graces and evolution of a neanderthal.
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 7:43:21 AM EDT
Fess up, your (on the inside) laughing your ass off.
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 7:49:13 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 7:50:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By osprey21: Fess up, your (on the inside) laughing your ass off.
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Yes, yes I am...just not to her face....she seemed much better this morning.
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 7:57:10 AM EDT
Run around the house calling her "P-P Face" and banging pots and pans together. From now on, only address her as "P-P Face".
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 8:21:00 AM EDT
I second the peepee face pet name from now on! She'll love you long time. Seriously, wow, my wife would've laughed her ass off.
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 9:14:40 AM EDT
Originally Posted By velocity: I second the peepee face pet name from now on! She'll love you long time. Seriously, wow, my wife would've laughed her ass off.
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Pee Pee Face....great...now I have coffee on my laptop screen and my boss just stuck his head in my office to see if I was ok. As for banging pots and pans, and my wife's sense of humor.... My wife shares my sense of humor,. However she is currently pregnant and having to take hormonal supplements...(do the math). Pee Pee Face would probably results in her banging pots and pans...off my head. She is in a much better mood this morning than last night. Ain't gonna push my luck...God did grant me some wisdom along the way...
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 9:18:36 AM EDT
Do over....[LOL]
Link Posted: 6/19/2003 10:18:04 AM EDT
Originally Posted By NAKED-GUNMAN: Do over....[LOL]
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I guess he could have blown a whistle and called her for goaltending. Is that one [b]foul[/b] shot, or two?
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