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Posted: 6/13/2003 2:12:17 AM EDT
Men and women. Showering habits. Showering Habits - How to shower like a woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, and long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until it’s red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs. 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How to shower like a man 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire your wiener and scratch your butt. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Wash your armpits. 6. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 7. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower. 8. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding areas. 9. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap. 10. Shampoo your hair. 11. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 12. Pee. 13. Rinse off and get out of shower. 14. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. 15. Admire wiener again. 16. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 17. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. 18. Throw wet towel on bed.
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 2:32:37 AM EDT
That's why I like women.
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 2:40:21 AM EDT
So thats why women are in the bathroom so long.
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 2:49:00 AM EDT
That shit is funny! My wife is not that bad. Man, I love making that "woo woo" sound.
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 2:56:29 AM EDT
[lol]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 3:56:21 AM EDT
"Woo-Woo!!" [:D]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 4:03:19 AM EDT
LMAO! So just exactly how long have you had that spy camera in my house anyway?? [>:/]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 4:11:34 AM EDT
Wish mine would put her damn cloths in the hamper, course then I'd have to look harder for her dirty underware.......
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 4:18:58 AM EDT
[ROFL]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 4:22:05 AM EDT
No honey, I wasn't playing with myself in the shower. I was cleaning the damn thing and it just went off!!![lol]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 4:30:59 AM EDT
That's the funniest thing I've ever heard on ar15.com
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 4:41:42 AM EDT
That's one of the many reasons I'm not gay.
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 4:51:45 AM EDT
It's funny because it's true! [ROFL]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 5:17:25 AM EDT
HOLY CRAP THAT'S TRUE!!! Well done...that's some funny shit! [LOLabove]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 5:21:11 AM EDT
LOL, that is SO TRUE! MM419
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 5:40:08 AM EDT
First laugh of the day, after another sleepless night. Thank you.
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 5:48:20 AM EDT
LOL! [rofl2] My wife was just bitching to me about some of those things that I do...[;)]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 5:50:29 AM EDT
Good stuff. You forgot the masterbation part of the man's shower, though, unless that was implied in "Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding areas."
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 7:07:42 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 7:35:38 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Rocketman: Wish mine would put her damn cloths in the hamper, course then I'd have to look harder for her dirty underware.......
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Now that is funny! vmax84
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 7:43:03 AM EDT
[ROFL2][ROFL]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 1:47:44 PM EDT
I'm sorry that I can't claim this as my own list. I found it on some website and woke up the entire house last night laughing when I read it. WOO-WOOO!!!
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 2:02:25 PM EDT
The title men vs. women made me think this was gonna be about wrestlin' girls in the shower. Still funny though!
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 2:18:02 PM EDT
you forgot one... After you are dried, excite yourself and hang towel on "hanger". Walk out into bedroom where wife is reading and interupt with "honey have you seen any of the towels?"
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 2:32:19 PM EDT
Thanks Dude!!! That's exactly what I needed today!! [ROFL2] [LOL]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 2:46:29 PM EDT
LMAO !!!! Thank you, you made my day I really needed that.
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 3:04:40 PM EDT
Originally Posted By siennfein: you forgot one... After you are dried, excite yourself and hang towel on "hanger". Walk out into bedroom where wife is reading and interupt with "honey have you seen any of the towels?"
View Quote
You need a "woo-woo" in there somewhere. [:D]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 3:13:59 PM EDT
[ROFL] That's one of the funniest things I've ever read here! Man, that was funny as hell. I'm gonna print that.
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 3:43:44 PM EDT
Well the woman's section solved another one of life's little known mysteries, but the mans section had me lol for a while. I even had tears rolling from laughing so hard! Very enjoyable. I will let my wife read it when she, if ever, she gets out of the freaking shower!
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 3:57:50 PM EDT
[ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2]
Link Posted: 6/13/2003 11:04:09 PM EDT
Now everybody knows why Curly of the Three Stooges went “Woo Woo Woo...” so often. It also explains why women hate the Stooges and men enjoy Moe, Larry and Curly. [curly wooing] [brick]
Link Posted: 6/14/2003 2:33:14 AM EDT
thank you I needed a good laugh.
Link Posted: 6/14/2003 3:01:52 AM EDT
Good. According to this document, I'm not the only one to leave hairs on soap.
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