Men and women.
Showering habits.



Showering Habits - How to shower like a woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, and long
loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until it’s red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How to shower like a man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire your wiener and
scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your armpits.

6. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

7. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
sound in the shower.

8. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding areas.

9. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap.

10. Shampoo your hair.

11. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

12. Pee.

13. Rinse off and get out of shower.

14. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
hanging out of the tub the whole time.

15. Admire wiener again.

16. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

17. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife
pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
again.

18. Throw wet towel on bed.

That's why I like women.

So thats why women are in the bathroom so long.

That shit is funny!

My wife is not that bad.  Man, I love making that "woo woo" sound.

[lol]

"Woo-Woo!!" [:D]

LMAO!

So just exactly how long have you had that spy camera in my house anyway??  [>:/]

Wish mine would put her damn cloths in the hamper, course then I'd have to look harder for her dirty underware.......

[ROFL]

No honey, I wasn't playing with myself in the shower. I was cleaning the damn thing and it just went off!!![lol]

That's the funniest thing I've ever heard on ar15.com

That's one of the many reasons I'm not gay.

It's funny because it's true! [ROFL]

HOLY CRAP THAT'S TRUE!!!

Well done...that's some funny shit!  [LOLabove]

LOL, that is SO TRUE!

MM419

First laugh of the day, after another sleepless night.
Thank you.

LOL! [rofl2]

My wife was just bitching to me about some of those things that I do...[;)]

Good stuff.  You forgot the masterbation part of the man's shower, though, unless that was implied in "Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding areas."

Now that is funny!

vmax84

[ROFL2][ROFL]

I'm sorry that I can't claim this as my own list. I found it on some website and woke up the entire house last night laughing when I read it. WOO-WOOO!!!

The title men vs. women made me think this was gonna be about wrestlin' girls in the shower. Still funny though!

you forgot one...

After you are dried, excite yourself and hang towel on "hanger". Walk out into bedroom where wife is reading and interupt with "honey have you seen any of the towels?"

Thanks Dude!!!  That's exactly what I needed today!!

[ROFL2]  [LOL]

LMAO !!!!

Thank you, you made my day I really needed that.

You need a "woo-woo" in there somewhere. [:D]

[ROFL]

That's one of the funniest things I've ever read here!

Man, that was funny as hell.

I'm gonna print that.

Well the woman's section solved another one of life's little known mysteries, but the mans section had me lol for a while. I even had tears rolling from laughing so hard! Very enjoyable. I will let my wife read it when she, if ever, she gets out of the freaking shower!

[ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2]
[ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2]
[ROFL2] [ROFL2]   [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2]
[ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2] [ROFL2]

Now everybody knows why Curly of the Three Stooges went “Woo Woo Woo...” so often.

It also explains why women hate the Stooges and men enjoy Moe, Larry and Curly.

[curly wooing]



[brick]

thank you I needed a good laugh.

Good.  According to this document, I'm not the only one to leave hairs on soap.