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Posted: 6/11/2003 12:56:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/11/2003 1:08:34 PM EDT by Boomholzer]
[url]http://home.1asphost.com/msnbcnews/[/url] [url]www.realultimatepower.net[/url] Author of Popular Website Sued for Negligence Single Mother Leads Coalition Against Internet Mis-information. ASSOCIATED PRESS MUTTON, SOUTH CAROLINA, October 15, 2002 — A single mother leads a coalition calling for more responsibility in controlling the information produced from the internet. Her first target—a website about ninjas. Margerie Evans, a single mother of three, filed charges on Monday against Robert Hamburger, a 10-year-old Los Angelean, for his portrayal of ninjas in a popular website. "This young man is encouraging the youth to physically act out violence. Doesn't [Robert] remember Columbine? Where was he on September 11th?" said Ms. Evans in a statement to Reuters. In a preliminary trial, Ms. Evans stated that because of realultimatepower.net, her children have been climbing on the furniture, beating on cats, and "spitting up all over the damn place." The website Ms. Evans is talking about is www.realultiamtepower.net, a passionate, but slanted, exposé on the ways of the ninja. In it, Robert Hamburger details various facts about ninjas such as: 1. Ninjas are mammals. 2. Ninjas flip out all the time. 3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people. and the like. Ms. Evans reports that it is Robert's authoritative tone that makes the site so convincing to children. A Youth Performing "seppuku" ( Ninja Suicide ) with a Frisbee. [b]see link for pic[/b] "Ms. Evans is a hard working Christian mother who is just trying raise her kids right. How can she do that when you've got demented little boys filling the internet with violent lies? People believe anything if it's presented on the internet. It's a dangerous medium that must be carefully controlled " said Ms. Evans' attorney on Monday. [b]When asked about the lawsuit, Robert Hamburger replied "Ms. Evans is a frigg'n idiot. She needs to shut her mouth right now or I'm going to take a skinny dump on her scalp." Despite the lawsuit, Robert says he will continue to tell people how sweet ninjas are "no matter what" and pork as many hot babes as it takes.[/b]
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 12:59:54 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/11/2003 1:17:13 PM EDT by Boomholzer]
[url]http://home.1asphost.com/msnbcnews/ninja.htm[/url] Author of Popular Website Defies Court Order Can the Law Stop a Ninja? ASSOCIATED PRESS MUTTON, SOUTH CAROLINA, December 19, 2002 — After a heated argument Thursday, a South Carolina Judge ordered Robert Hamburger to post a disclaimer or take down his ninja site until further proceedings. A child's website sparked an age-old debate concerning internet censorship. According Margerie Evans, the "irresponsible and dangerous" portrayal of ninjas by Robert Hamburger--a 10-year-old Los Angelean--has forced a coalition of single mothers, lead by Evans, to request a U.S. court to permanently remove the site. This week's pre-trial, which will determine whether there is substantial evidence for permanently removing the site, caused much commotion between the two parties. Robert Hamburger, described by Ms. Evan's lawyer, as "nothing short of rabid," was restrained during the proceedings. According to witnesses, Hamburger leapt out of his seat and ran toward Ms. Evans with "fists flying" before by-standers could capture the young boy. "He had some type of grease on him. He kept slipping out of my hands." said a participant in Thursday's charades. Ms. Evans in Court with Her Lawyer [b]see link for pic[/b] [b]Despite Hamburger's passionate defense, the judge ordered him to remove the site until the website's effect on youth could be further investigated. However in response to the order, Hamburger stated that the judge "couldn't even pop a boner if he really wanted to and should shut his frigg'n mouth before somebody pees in it." As for the website, Hamburger plans on keeping it up and "spreading the truth about ninjas even if it means he'll have to pork more babes than is even possible. " [/b]
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:03:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/11/2003 1:04:25 PM EDT by Boomholzer]
this one made me cry: [url]http://home.1asphost.com/msnbcnews/ninja2.htm[/url] Judge Appalled, yet Intrigued by Courtroom Shenanigans. Young Boy out of Control ASSOCIATED PRESS MUTTON, SOUTH CAROLINA, December 19, 2002 — After several months of deliberation, a South Carolina judge rules that a child's website may remain on the internet despite the website owner's disorderly behavior. Late last year, Margerie Evans, a single mother of three boys, filed charges against Robert Hamburger--a 10-year-old Los Angelean--for encouraging kids to "flip out" and "disregard rules." After a short holiday break, court resumed Monday, although not without a bumpy start. During the December court proceedings, Hamburger was briefly taken into custody because of his disruptive behavior. Monday was no different. Robert Hamburger--with arms and legs still restrained--listened intently to the judge's final decision, which would decide the fate of his website--www.realultimatepower.net. "I think I saw drool rolling down his chin." said Evans' sister, Jean, who attended to provide moral support. Hamburger Signing Autographs for Fans Outside Courtroom [b]see links for pics[/b] Related Links • Realultimatepower.net • Parody censorship • Kids "flipping out" • Mammograms? • Robert's ninja demonstration Despite Evans' desperate pleas, Judge Winick threw the case out, because "a court order to remove the site would infringe on the defendant's right to free speech." According to the judge's order, Hamburger would be allowed to keep his website and would not be forced to post a disclaimer about its contents. Hamburger was then immediately released from the court's restraints. [b] To the plaintiff's surprise, after hearing the judge's decision Hamburger approached Ms. Evans and her lawyer, giving each a hug. Afterward, he walked toward the exit, stopped, pulled down his pants and laid a log right right on the court room floor, and said "Now that's real ultimate power." Then he ran. Robert Hamburger's whereabouts are still unknown. [/b]
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:07:10 PM EDT
SWEEETTT! That article made me pop like 9 boners!
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:07:49 PM EDT
Brilliant!
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:08:13 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:08:17 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:11:40 PM EDT
when I got to the third article and read the part about laying a log.................I friggin lost it. There is also some sweet new hate mail on the site.
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:12:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DoubleFeed: LMAO! That has to be a parody...
View Quote
I read it on the Internet. It must be true.
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:12:42 PM EDT
This is classic! [img]http://www.msu.edu/~couilla3/ninja/noninjascopy.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:12:57 PM EDT
I always thought it was written by a 30 year old pretending to be a 10 year old.. t
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:14:17 PM EDT
Originally Posted By rileyindy:
Originally Posted By DoubleFeed: LMAO! That has to be a parody...
View Quote
I read it on the Internet. It must be true.
View Quote
Same as TV
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:16:00 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:19:32 PM EDT
Close, he is "almost 23 years old". And will you please have a look at the URL of that "MSNBC News" page?
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:20:36 PM EDT
Where's Juggernaut???
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:27:13 PM EDT
If the lawsuit is real*: 1) Mrs. Evans should be a parent and teach her kids right from wrong rather than relying on the internet to do so. 2) Mrs. Evans needs to put the kids on the short bus in the morning because it's apparent from the first sentence that the site is done in humour/parody. Heck, maybe she needs to get on the short bus as well. 3) Kids got some cool hats for the mall ninja in all of us: [url=http://www.cafeshops.com/realninja.3658086?zoom=yes#zoom]Ninja's get boners too[/url] [side note]'...pulled down his pants and laid a log right right on the court room floor...' makes me question the validity of the article. I'd think that the AP would use a more PC phrase such as defecated.[/side note] I love ninja's with my whole body (including my pee pee)
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:30:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/11/2003 1:32:17 PM EDT by dcoke76]
[img]http://www.msu.edu/~couilla3/ninja/kidgarbage.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:43:53 PM EDT
Ok. So, I've seen Ninja Boy in action before: [url=http://www.sublimedirectory.com/stimes/05-12-2003/hope.wmv]Ninja Boy's skills[/url] If anyone wants to filter through his Hate Mail, you can see Mrs. Evans' eloquent conversation skills ('You jerk!')
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:46:05 PM EDT
[size=3]Ninjas are cool, and by cool I mean like totally sweet![/size=3]
Link Posted: 6/11/2003 1:53:02 PM EDT
We had our own ninja here for a while. I mean, a real one! Then he got banned. I think he scared the mods so much they just crapped in their pants. Really! He could so easily have flipped out and cut EVERYONE'S heads off, or just wail on his guitar. Either one. I'm sure he would say it was totally cool, and by that I mean, really, really SWEET!
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