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Posted: 6/9/2003 6:23:37 PM EDT
The pesky little bastard woke me up early, so we went out early. I grabbed a breakfast sandwich at the local 7-11.

We went to the park, which is near a bus stop.I had my cane and shades on. We sit on a bench and I break open my sandwich and open a can of food for Kitty.

At the nearby bus stop I watch a woman hand this fat broad something. She goes into the park. She pulls a 'Leggs egg' out of her bag.

She sits down on the bench across from me. Takes a quick glance at me and hikes up her skirt and promptly starts changing her panty hose.

I was looking into space. About the time she was pulling her panty hose up, I raised my shades and said:
"Hmmm. My kid brother's Basset Hound has better makings than you."

She lets go a scream.

"But I thought you were blind!"

"What ever gave you that idea?" I asked.

"You got a cane and sunglasses and a guide animal!!"

" It's bright out, this is a walking stick, and whoever heard of a cat as a guide animal? Besides, you made a really big mistake."

"What's that?"

"You thought."

Thank God the bus arrived.
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 6:33:14 PM EDT
[#1]
You really are twisted.

[:D]

How did all this SEC stuff start (sorry, I came late to the party)?
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 6:38:40 PM EDT
[#2]
Surreal.
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 6:41:03 PM EDT
[#3]
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 6:44:02 PM EDT
[#4]
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 6:45:54 PM EDT
[#5]
Man that's funny.
I still think there's money to be made in:

[b]The Adventures of Seeing Eye Cat[/B]

coffee table book or a short story book.

[:D]
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 10:27:57 PM EDT
[#6]
You REALLY need to get a mini-DV camcorder.  Something you can set up in a bag or case, undercover style to get some of this down for history's sake.

The mini-DV format would allow easy extraction of video and stills for web publishing.  [:D]
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 11:09:24 PM EDT
[#7]
Man, you could make a bloody fortune with this stuff. Don't you have a friend who could get all this on tape "on the sly"?
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 11:14:18 PM EDT
[#8]
 I am with Zardoz....it would take VERY little to get the SEC Chronicles in publishable form.
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 11:15:22 PM EDT
[#9]
Piccolo:  Solid brass balls + just a little twisted = SEC stories.

Thats just damn  funny.  keep it up.
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 11:16:52 PM EDT
[#10]
Ya know........some of the late night TV shows might pay good money for "SEC episodes."
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 11:24:47 PM EDT
[#11]
I predict the seeing eyed cat or wacky-blind-man-who-isn't-really-blind-stunts will be out of the bag and into the mass media.  

I will feel sad if Piccolo doesn't get the credit.
Link Posted: 6/9/2003 11:28:40 PM EDT
[#12]
That is just straight up hillarious!!!!
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 12:58:41 AM EDT
[#13]
[:D]

You've got a pair my friend.
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 3:33:44 AM EDT
[#14]
[:d]  hahahahah
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 3:41:43 AM EDT
[#15]
Nice!!

[LOL]
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 4:10:11 AM EDT
[#16]
You are so not right!  [lol]
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 4:27:35 AM EDT
[#17]
Bastard!  I have coffee on my monitor and my co-workers are looking at me like I have lost my mind.

Link Posted: 6/10/2003 4:43:11 AM EDT
[#18]
piccolo, in the event that you might be pulling everyone's legs with the SEC stories, you are still funny as hell.
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 4:58:53 AM EDT
[#19]
Piccolo, I suggest you get one of those WA-1 sticks from Newt Livesay, just in case something untoward should ever happen on one of your SEC adventures when you can't CCW. But you must start taping this stuff. I mean this is so much better than Jackass and those morons made a mint. But I think you do need to get your own midget. Gotta have a midget. Random pissed off midget that the sec just attacks on sight with out provocation. Blind man being led by psychotic cat that's attacking hysterical midget man. In a Victoria's Secret!!!
How's the little guy doin? I thought he was ill or something? Is he better?
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 5:05:56 AM EDT
[#20]
seems like the SEC episodes just keep getting better  [:)]


[lol]
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 5:32:26 AM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:

How's the little guy doin? I thought he was ill or something? Is he better?
View Quote


He has a bad ticker and has to be pilled once a day. I don't push him at all, but sometimes I let him go out with me. When we go out, I generally carry him, but he gets around the house all right.

VERY seldom do we do the walking around with the cane trick.
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 6:00:15 AM EDT
[#22]
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 6:06:23 AM EDT
[#23]
[ROFL2]
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 6:18:29 AM EDT
[#24]
Piccolo, you've just about warmed me up to the idea of having a cat in the house.  That's something neither of my daughters was able to achieve.

[hail2]
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 6:39:09 AM EDT
[#25]
I don't mean to be a killjoy but Leggs stopped using the egg as its packaging years ago.

Are these old stories?  Still damn funny.
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 9:25:36 AM EDT
[#26]
Quoted:
Piccolo, you've just about warmed me up to the idea of having a cat in the house.  That's something neither of my daughters was able to achieve.

[hail2]
View Quote


Get a siamese. They have the best personality (many cats have almost none at all) and are the smartest. No kidding. I won't have any other kind of cat, even though there are lots of nice cats around. My last siamese was trained to come when I called her (and none of that "here kitty kitty" BS) and would stop whatever she was doing instantly, if I said "NO".
Link Posted: 6/10/2003 10:04:15 AM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
I don't mean to be a killjoy but Leggs stopped using the egg as its packaging years ago.

Are these old stories?  Still damn funny.
View Quote
Funny, my wife(who's 21) has Legg's egg's still...  New story, old hose.
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