Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Posted: 6/6/2003 10:37:14 AM EDT
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 10:45:21 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 11:32:54 AM EDT
Jerry asked me to read this. As his wife, I think you guys out there need a little support. Sunday is definitely for sports. Football should be a year round sport. Woman teach little boys to put the seat up during potty training,they should expect this habit to continue. If you're too dumb to look in the middle of the night, you deserve to fall in. I've never sent my husband to the couch. The furniture is half his including the bed. And I don't ask him if I'm fat, I own 3 pairs of shoes. Tennis shoes, work boots, and hiking boots. And he isn't my child, so I never tell him to do something. Man has he got it made.
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 11:41:31 AM EDT
Damn Jerry. Keep that one. I have new found faith in the female of the species. There are now two women that rule. Mine and yours. You should have her go read the thread about the pregnant unemployed couple that just bought new furniture and moved to a bigger apartment.
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 11:45:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/6/2003 2:18:23 PM EDT by jerry48430]
Sorry about that last post under my name, she did it while I went to the reading room. But I would trade all my firearms for her. EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT. edit to correct wording. THANKS DEAR.
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 12:04:02 PM EDT
Originally Posted By jerry48430: Sorry about that last post under my name, she did it while I went to the reading room. [red]But I wouldn't trade all my firearms for her.[/red] EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT.
View Quote
Is there a typo in there?
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 12:16:09 PM EDT
HOLY SHIAT THATS FUNNY!
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 12:25:41 PM EDT
Sometimes I sleep out on one of the couches. It is kinda like camping![:d]
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 1:05:43 PM EDT
I would comment and say that this is [i]JUST[/i] funny... 100% true, 100% funny.
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 2:02:40 PM EDT
Not at all. I get what I want when I want it. No nagging, no bitching, and besides being my wife she is also my best friend. So my statement stands.
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 4:17:33 PM EDT
Steyr, I`m laughing my ass off! [ROFL] jerry, Does your wife have a sane, single, childless sister(or friend) of like mind?!![naughty]
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 6:03:31 PM EDT
My wife and I both just laughed ourselves silly at this one. Thanks!!
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 11:31:46 PM EDT
I tried to post them on the fridge ,but he wouldn't IM me his address! Bob [:D]
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 11:42:08 PM EDT
Originally Posted By bobbyjack: I tried to post them on the fridge ,but he wouldn't IM me his address! Bob [:D]
View Quote
[rofl]
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 11:54:53 PM EDT
Hehe, good one Steyr.
Link Posted: 6/7/2003 6:51:55 AM EDT
arbob sorry to say that she is one of a kind and i am the lucky one that found her. hell i don't even remember what a honeydoo list is anymore.
Link Posted: 6/7/2003 7:50:01 PM EDT
Damn! I guess I`ll have to keep watching the Man Show.[}:D]
Top Top