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Posted: 6/5/2003 9:33:52 PM EDT
Back by popular demand!! I am here to help you with lifes problems...I am the naswer man, But remember, no riddles or such. I will start with this pearl of wizdom: Cheeze Whiz is not a part of the food groups. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:35:23 PM EDT
my cats like to wake me up in the morning, throwing them against the wall just doesn't seem to work anymore, any advice?
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:37:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By -Absolut-: my cats like to wake me up in the morning, throwing them against the wall just doesn't seem to work anymore, any advice?
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Well...you do own a gun don't you?? See avatar if you are still unclear on what to do. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:40:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/5/2003 9:41:54 PM EDT by T-Ray]
I'm not really in the "know" around here, but... Please don't take offense to this, but I'm going to stick to my own misguided intuition. Edited to fix drunken grammar.
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:42:43 PM EDT
Originally Posted By T-Ray: I'm not really in the "know" around here, but... Please don't take offense to this, but I'm going to stick to my own misguided intuition. Edited to fix drunken grammar.
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Well son, then you graduate early[:D] Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:43:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sgtar15:
Originally Posted By -Absolut-: my cats like to wake me up in the morning, throwing them against the wall just doesn't seem to work anymore, any advice?
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Well...you do own a gun don't you?? See avatar if you are still unclear on what to do. Sgtar15
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girlfriend would then throw me against the wall!
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:48:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/5/2003 9:48:52 PM EDT by Red_Beard]
should i call in sick to work tomorrow? (i'm not sick, just can't sleep)
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:49:18 PM EDT
Dear Sgtar15, My ass seems to leak. Seems like I can wipe until it bleeds and 10 minutes later I have to wipe again. This has caused me untold irritation, ithcing and discomfort. Can you help? Signed, Woke up with another stinky finger
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:49:26 PM EDT
Well Absolut, then you have a serious problem. But I can help. Here is what you do. Take the cat and buy it a nice soft lease. Then take the cat and your lady for a walk. Now, have a friend drive by and run over the cat. Problem solved. Sgtar15 PS Save the carcass for dinner....serve with red wine.
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:51:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Red_Beard: should i call in sick to work tomorrow? (i'm not sick, just can't sleep)
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No....you are allowed 3 sick days per year. AFter that your just being lazy.
Dear Sgtar15, My ass seems to leak. Seems like I can wipe until it bleeds and 10 minutes later I have to wipe again. This has caused me untold irritation, ithcing and discomfort. Can you help?
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Yes, go to San Fransico and become a male hooker. You can make bank with an ass like that!! Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:56:28 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sgtar15: Well Absolut, then you have a serious problem. But I can help. Here is what you do. Take the cat and buy it a nice soft lease. Then take the cat and your lady for a walk. Now, have a friend drive by and run over the cat. Problem solved. Sgtar15 PS Save the carcass for dinner....serve with red wine.
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sgtar15 changed my life! [:D]
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 9:59:16 PM EDT
Speaking of wine, I've got this bottle of Pinot Gris and I was wondering if it would go better with fried carp or coyote stew. Whaddayathink?
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:06:20 PM EDT
Originally Posted By llanero: Speaking of wine, I've got this bottle of Pinot Gris and I was wondering if it would go better with fried carp or coyote stew. Whaddayathink?
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I think you need a hamburger and a beer. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:06:52 PM EDT
ROFL this thread is funny
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:10:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/5/2003 10:12:30 PM EDT by thebeekeeper1]
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:14:47 PM EDT
Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1: I keep trying to put out brush fires with my water bucket, but someone keeps filling it with gasoline. What should I do? .
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LOL I know exactly what this is about. Simple Beekeeper. Ban the fire and lock the gas up. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:17:08 PM EDT
Dear Sgtar15, I sometimes, while driving, like to take my finger and stick it in my bellybutton and then smell my finger. My question is: What wine goes with that?
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:18:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DrFrige: Dear Sgtar15, I sometimes, while driving, like to take my finger and stick it in my bellybutton and then smell my finger. My question is: What wine goes with that?
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I'd say cheepo watered down light beer. but i am not the professional in this thread.
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:21:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/5/2003 10:22:41 PM EDT by sgtar15]
DrFrige, Fran Drescher Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:28:32 PM EDT
Why are there so many feds, mjtf, state doj and agent provocateurs on here?
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:29:40 PM EDT
I only take advice from Kofi. Kofi, where are 'ya hon?
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:31:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Imbroglio: Why are there so many feds, mjtf, state doj and agent provocateurs on here?
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To learn how to bump fire so they can kill more efficently.[sniper2] Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:32:45 PM EDT
How do i go about getting the UN to change the color of their helmets from blue to pink?
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:32:49 PM EDT
Dear Sgtar15, There's a 6-foot raccoon at my door, my phone is ringing, something big and heavy is tramping around on my roof, I hear sirens approaching, and my girlfriend is laughing and refusing to untie me. What should I do? cynic
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:33:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By mattja: I only take advice from Kofi. Kofi, where are 'ya hon?
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I believe he is in France getting his nails done by a guy name Jauque. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:36:43 PM EDT
Originally Posted By cynic: Dear Sgtar15, There's a 6-foot raccoon at my door, my phone is ringing, something big and heavy is tramping around on my roof, I hear sirens approaching, and my girlfriend is laughing and refusing to untie me. What should I do?
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Wait till the cops show up and if they are female ask for a Threesome. If they are male have the wife do the asking. The raccoon can take the pics. Post pics after you are done.
How do i go about getting the UN to change the color of their helmets from blue to pink?
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Put France in charge. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:39:29 PM EDT
OK, Sgtar15. Why was there a continuity problem with Natalie Portman's nipples when she wore the white space suit/catsuit thingy? Sometimes they were above the seam for the bodice sometimes they were below the seam and it at tleast one shot the right one is above the seam and the left one is below the seam. Like what the fuck? Can't Lucas get some sort of script person to keep track of her nipples...or wardrobe or makeup. Maybe it was a union dispute and no one, not costume, makeup or stumts or writer's guild wanted the responsibility for Portman's nipples. Jeeeezuss they can CGI Yoda and that fuck wad of all fuck wads -Jar Jar beenks....but they can't align a pretty woman's nipples. Were all the Lucasoid nerds too feverish with lust and confusion to mention to her that her nipples were cattywhampus?? Are they that sexually hopeless? Did she do it on purpose? Like, "Watch this, I'm gonna do each scene with my nipples in a different position and all these dickless techno weenies are gonna fail to notice my butterbeans are whomperjawed."
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:41:40 PM EDT
Dear Sgtar15, I am constantly offended of my ass being splash-raped by my toilet everytime I take a dump. Anyway I can alleviate this? What is worse if the water splashes up just before the sphincter closes. It hurts my feelings.
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:42:02 PM EDT
Because Jar-Jar likes nips. Too easy. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:42:12 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:43:39 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DrFrige: Dear Sgtar15, .................... It hurts my feelings.
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Ieap....definitely gay hooker....definitely. I suggest you hook up with BenDover Sgtar15 PS I am now going to sleep. Night all
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 10:54:14 PM EDT
{A Dirty Word. Or Ten. Or More} I never got to ask him the proper procedure for castrating Kali Anti's from the throat on down.
Link Posted: 6/5/2003 11:15:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/5/2003 11:16:30 PM EDT by LotBoy]
Should I buy a TA31A or TA11D? This will mount to a flat top.
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 2:53:34 AM EDT
Oh hell he is back!!!!!!! [}:D]
Link Posted: 6/6/2003 6:49:36 AM EDT
[bounce]
Link Posted: 6/8/2003 8:43:41 AM EDT
Looks like he stopped answering questions.
Link Posted: 6/8/2003 8:56:51 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DrFrige: Dear Sgtar15, I am constantly offended of my ass being splash-raped by my toilet everytime I take a dump. Anyway I can alleviate this? What is worse if the water splashes up just before the sphincter closes. It hurts my feelings.
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Put an outhouse in your backyard. Keep it shoveled out. Be popular with your neighbors.
Link Posted: 6/8/2003 9:11:31 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/8/2003 5:59:05 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TomJefferson: My customers companies are hiring gays and I have a problem with dealing with them. What should I do?
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Take 2 tables of Homocil...."Until you come around". Seriously, you have to deal with it. If any gays pinch your arse sue for sexual herassment.....but I doubt that will happen. Remember, if you can't beat them, let them beat you[;)] Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/8/2003 8:59:53 PM EDT
Oh SGTar you don't how long I have waited for this service,and I ask you what is the difference between a lemon? Bob [:D]
Link Posted: 6/8/2003 9:12:49 PM EDT
What's the best way to prevent chipping on the back of melamine sheet stock when it's run through a tablesaw? I don't have a saw with a scoring blade, and I already use a triple-chip grind blade and a zero clearance table insert, but I still get some chipping. Help!!! signed, Tired of using Seam-fil to hide chipping.
Link Posted: 6/8/2003 10:18:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/8/2003 10:19:52 PM EDT by bobbyjack]
Yes I know that was tough,.as one was yellow! So I ask what's the difference between a bannana? Bob [:D]
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