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Posted: 6/2/2003 2:54:54 PM EDT
Hello everyone and welcome to tonight's show.  Tonights special guest are the Osmonds.  They will be teaching us about the deap loving family values of Mormonism.  On with the show.  Tonight's Top 10 is........[b] Top 10 Fun things to do at your Family Reunion.[/b]

[b]10[/b]   Dress in drag wearing the same thing as your Grandma.

[b]9[/b]     Spike the punch bowl.

[b]8[/b]     Brag about how you visited China........then cough loudly.

[b]7[/b]     Reveal secrets about Uncle Sam/Aunte Samatha

[b]6[/b]     Over Dinner proudly announce you can speak with the dead

[b]5[/b]     Serve your wife divorce papers during dessert

[b]4[/b]     When no one is looking go thru ever ones wallet/purse.

[b]3[/b]     Go thru the medicine cabinet and pocket all the good pills

[b]2[/b]     Demand loudly that you be included in everyones will.  State reasons why and pass out "Memos".

and the number 1 Fun thing to do at your Family Reunion

[b]1[/b]     Show your family your boby piercings and tattoos........all of them.

Thank You and have a great night!!

Sgtar15

[white] These jokes are the sole creation of Sgtar15 and PyroTeckNix Inc.  No copy, Fax or recorded transcript may be used with out the expressed written concent of Sgtar15 and PyroTeckNix Inc.   Thank You[/white]
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 3:01:38 PM EDT
[#1]
LoL!
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 3:09:44 PM EDT
[#2]
[white]It's consent, not concent.[/white] [brick][peep]
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 3:16:34 PM EDT
[#3]
#5 makes me wanna have a Family Reunion!!



If the event is held in Alabama ... can I hit on my cousin?

Link Posted: 6/2/2003 3:23:05 PM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
#5 makes me wanna have a Family Reunion!!



If the event is held in Alabama ... can I hit on my cousin?

View Quote


No. West Virginia only.
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 3:32:02 PM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
No. West Virginia only.
View Quote


[b]HEY![/b] If it aint good enough for family, it aint good enough for anybody else!

BTW, [url=http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/Table_Marriage.htm]You have to be[/url] (F) 18 to be married in WVA, 13 in NH, and [b]12[/b] in KS & MA!

Also, [url=http://www.cousincouples.com/info/states.shtml] WVA [/url] does not allow cousins to marry, a LOT of states do...

So WVA aint as lax as the story is told...
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 3:36:30 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
Quoted:
No. West Virginia only.
View Quote


[b]HEY![/b] If it aint good enough for family, it aint good enough for anybody else!

BTW, [url=http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/Table_Marriage.htm]You have to be[/url] (F) 18 to be married in WVA, 13 in NH, and [b]12[/b] in KS & MA!

Also, [url=http://www.cousincouples.com/info/states.shtml] WVA [/url] does not allow cousins to marry, a LOT of states do...

So WVA aint as lax as the story is told...
View Quote


Of course, a case could be made that the reason WV has those laws is that they had too many people doing those things in the first place.[:D]
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 3:41:15 PM EDT
[#7]
Seems to be an awful lot of jokes about Mormons lately, making fun of Muslims is not allowed anymore?
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 4:06:30 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:

[b]HEY![/b] If it aint good enough for family, it aint good enough for anybody else!

BTW, [url=http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/Table_Marriage.htm]You have to be[/url] (F) 18 to be married in WVA, 13 in NH, and [b]12[/b] in KS & MA!

Also, [url=http://www.cousincouples.com/info/states.shtml] WVA [/url] does not allow cousins to marry, a LOT of states do...

So WVA aint as lax as the story is told...
View Quote


Should we be concerned that you know this?
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 4:16:20 PM EDT
[#9]
If you take condoms to a family reunion, you might be a redneck.
Link Posted: 6/2/2003 4:47:08 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:

[b]HEY![/b] If it aint good enough for family, it aint good enough for anybody else!

BTW, [url=http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/Table_Marriage.htm]You have to be[/url] (F) 18 to be married in WVA, 13 in NH, and [b]12[/b] in KS & MA!

Also, [url=http://www.cousincouples.com/info/states.shtml] WVA [/url] does not allow cousins to marry, a LOT of states do...

So WVA aint as lax as the story is told...
View Quote


You've done your homework...
Link Posted: 6/3/2003 12:14:39 AM EDT
[#11]
SECRETLY --feed the family dog a viagra pill OR a exlax pill, both at the same time might be more than the family or dog can handle.





DISCLAIMER -- never tried this and never will, feeding human medication to a pet may in fact kill it, please dont try this at home Kids.
Link Posted: 6/3/2003 5:07:30 AM EDT
[#12]
Make a dessert to share

Either "special" brownies....(yeah, you know what I am talking about.)

Or chocolate chip cookies made with Ex-lax instead of Nestles.
Link Posted: 6/3/2003 5:30:42 AM EDT
[#13]
Show up in drag and get hit on by your cosuins husband [yes this happened,no it wasn't me]
Link Posted: 6/3/2003 5:36:21 AM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
 
[b]3[/b]     Go thru the medicine cabinet and pocket all the good pills

View Quote



Ahhhhhh, this explains SO much!
Link Posted: 6/3/2003 5:45:06 AM EDT
[#15]
[white]Very funny![/white]
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