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Posted: 5/31/2003 5:48:53 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/31/2003 5:53:21 AM EDT by redray]
was watching the wife while i was sipping my cappucino[coffee] this morning and realized something weird.... VACUUM CLEANER HEADLIGHTS !!![whacko]
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:51:23 AM EDT
How do they really know that 4 out of 5 dogs prefer Alpo to the other leading dog food brand?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:53:59 AM EDT
Will we ever know what that gun in Heat was?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:58:11 AM EDT
If trailer parks wouldn't exist, would there still be tornadoes? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:58:24 AM EDT
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Why do they use a sterile needle for a lethal injection? Why does shipping go by car and cargo go by ship? Why is the Klinton family allowed to live breath and reproduce?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:04:46 AM EDT
Where do the butterflies go when it rains?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:05:49 AM EDT
How much deeper would the ocean be, if there were no sponges in it? DO the fish swimming around the south pole, know they are upside down? Why does the water in the oceans stay on the sides of the earth, why not just pool down around the south pole? If a cow was to laugh, would milk shoot out its nose? Many more I am sure...
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:10:04 AM EDT
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? How do they get that Nitrogen filled ball into Guiness bottles and cans?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:37:56 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:41:24 AM EDT
What happens to the 9/10th of a cent that you pay for a gallon of gasoline? What do "they" do with all those chicken feathers?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:46:13 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Cerebus: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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23.682 board feet per hour. I checked. [:D]
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:46:38 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/31/2003 6:48:24 AM EDT by DzlBenz]
Ivory soap is 99.44% pure. Pure what? What is the 0.56% impurity? After at least 40 years of making this stuff, why can't they improve the quality? How come when you call a wrong number, it's never busy?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:52:26 AM EDT
Why do the drive up ATM machines have braille on them?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:19:11 AM EDT
why is bra singular and panties plural
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:41:50 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:44:43 AM EDT
When you buy a pair of shoes, you get 2 shoes. When you buy a pair of pants, you only get 1. WE ARE BEING ROBBED
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:48:10 AM EDT
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? What's the point of vegetarians going to mcdonalds and ordering a hamburger happy meal for for their child without meat, only ketchup? Why pay $2.50 for ketchup on a bun? Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:57:35 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Cerebus: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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Remember the Calvin and Hobbes one? Calvin is fiddling around writing stuff, and he writes, "How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?"
How do they get that Nitrogen filled ball into Guiness bottles and cans?
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What is that thing anyway? What is its purpose?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 8:02:31 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 8:03:15 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Greenhorn:
Originally Posted By Cerebus: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
View Quote
Remember the Calvin and Hobbes one? Calvin is fiddling around writing stuff, and he writes, "How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?"
How do they get that Nitrogen filled ball into Guiness bottles and cans?
View Quote
What is that thing anyway? What is its purpose?
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Now you can enjoy the perfect pub pint at home thanks to the ingenious "widget" that is inserted in all GUINNESS® Draught cans. The "widget" is actually a plastic device which sits at the bottom of the can. When the can is opened, the widget releases a mixture of beer and nitrogen that creates a surge of bubbles. When you pour it into a glass these bubbles eventually settle to form the famous tight white head creating the perfect pint experience from the pub right at home. Your GUINNESS® Draught in cans should be chilled for a minimum of three hours before serving.
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Link Posted: 5/31/2003 8:04:56 AM EDT
Originally Posted By HeldHostage: If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
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Taxes.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 8:31:23 AM EDT
Why is it when you ship a package next day air it may actually never get on an airplane?!!?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 11:18:41 AM EDT
MEN! Need I say more?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 11:21:28 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 455SD: Why is it when you ship a package next day air it may actually never get on an airplane?!!?
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Or a ship, for that matter.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 11:29:13 AM EDT
Why is it that gas pressure increases in proportion to the amount of time it isn't released?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 11:49:08 AM EDT
Where is the other sock? [img]http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/fragend/confused-smiley-013.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 12:20:36 PM EDT
Wtf is up with Deja vu's?? I have them CONSTANTLY.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 12:25:34 PM EDT
if 4 out of five dogs agree, why is the other brand leading?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 12:33:55 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Lumpy223: If the K in knife is silent, why is it there?
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Doesnt matter, some people on these boards dont use the "k" anyway!
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 12:35:44 PM EDT
They want to ban guns, yet automobiles kill more.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 3:31:49 PM EDT
When women put on eye shadow do they think, "Hmm, I wonder if i'd look better if my eye-lids were blue?"
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 4:27:42 PM EDT
Originally Posted By cmymud: WOMEN!
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Amen.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 4:31:20 PM EDT
Why do I shiver at the end of a long piss?? How can women bleed for a week straight and not die??
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 4:36:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Pangea: What do "they" do with all those chicken feathers?
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I know. They process them into chicken feed, along with other things. Heard it on NPR the other about the difference between standard chickens, free range chickens, and organic chickens.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 4:54:46 PM EDT
How do the French walk upright without backbones?[>:/]
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 4:56:04 PM EDT
Why do people modify econobox cars to make them fast?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:15:43 PM EDT
Why can't we all just get along? [/RKing]
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:19:43 PM EDT
Why is the smallest guy in a Mariachi band the one who plays the biggest guitar?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:20:19 PM EDT
From Joe Dirt: Why is the sky blue? How does positrack work?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:27:31 PM EDT
Why, if I am dragging an air hose or electrical extension cord across the shop/roof/garage/deck/etc. it will hang up completely a dozen time over a distance of 60'. Were I to fall off the roof/deck/second story window/etc. the same air hose or extension cord will follow dutifully as I fall to my death? Planerench out.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:34:42 PM EDT
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop with out biting?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 5:58:39 PM EDT
Why do the political parties accuse each other of pandering special legislation to their special interest groups when both sides do it?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:00:09 PM EDT
Originally Posted By AIRBOSS4: How do the French walk upright without backbones?[>:/]
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They are held upright by the stick up their ass.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:03:38 PM EDT
Originally Posted By AIRBOSS4: How do the French walk upright without backbones?[>:/]
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Assholes dont have backbones.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:26:00 PM EDT
Is the gold in Ft. Knox happy gold? Why does wearing MARPAT give me the urge to get a backrub?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 6:28:37 PM EDT
How do birds know when to shit on your car..... after you've just finished washing and waxing it?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:09:26 PM EDT
Why is that fluids that are hot enough to burn your hand will not burn your tongue?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:11:39 PM EDT
Why do guys have nipples? I've wondered this.
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:19:55 PM EDT
What makes Teflon stick to the pan? Why does a cowboy wear two spurs when one side of the horse goes just as fast as the other? Why did the Federal government name the department in charge of everything outdoors, the Department of the Interior?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 7:36:29 PM EDT
Why is this thread two pages long?
Link Posted: 5/31/2003 8:38:26 PM EDT
Why can't you tickle yourself?
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