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Posted: 5/23/2003 11:30:53 PM EDT
Mine..."The SNIFFER". Moves to seats just vacated and bends down for a whiff! I'm not kidding.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 12:33:07 AM EDT
How about having the conductor screaming to me and all the other passengers to get back on the number 1 train and get the hell out of the station because it's 9-11 and the first tower just got hit and we're at the Cortlandt Street/WTC stop.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 6:01:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/24/2003 6:02:35 AM EDT by LWilde]
Me and two other guys riding the MTA with a wino one evening in 1970. We had to ride quite a ways...it was summer...the cars were real old then and we went from El to street to underground. During a couple of legs underground, the electric connector jumped the wire and the motorman had to get out and jerk the rear cable assembly around until it reconnected and we had electricity again. One of us fancied himself as a stand-up comedian soooo... It was during these dark periods that our guy messed with the wino. Imagine the wino hanging on to the pole in the car, talking wino gibberish and our guy playing straight man right back at him...as if they were old buds from Charlestown. The drunk was a hoot...but when our guy played along...it was a riot! First the MTA (All I could help thinking was the Kingston Trio's song about "Charlie on the MTA" and now the drunk. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants![lol]
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 6:10:35 AM EDT
One of the girls that used to hang out with us in college had really nice long hair down to her waist. While riding on the Boston "Green" line subway an older woman approached her and told her a man just ejaculated into her hair from behind. It was true, and "Jack" got away. The girl bobbed her hair to shoulder level within 1 hour, and was pretty shaken by the whole thing.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 6:29:57 AM EDT
Late night coming back from an Iron Maiden concert at Radio city in NY back to Queens. Train is FULL of 'headbangers' I mean it was wall to wall leather, spikes and what not. then we get to a stop where this black kid gets on wearing headphones listening to some rap music and he is singing along with it. He is looking down as he is singing. when he looks up at all the headbangers he stops. Mouth drops and says "Ooooooooooh Shiiiiiiiiiiit" Had the whole train cracking up.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 6:34:32 AM EDT
Oh then there was this one day after school (SNOWING OUTSIDE) we are running to catch the train. We hear the train so we BOOK to catch it. My feet were soaked so I slip on the platform and sliiiiiiiide right through the open doors of the F train and hit the stainless pole in the middle. My friends were laughing at my expense and this old guy gets up over me,(here it is I think he is going to help me up) gets into umpire stance and yells "Heeeeee's SAFE!" F*ckin' New Yorkers....GOTTA love 'em.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 7:19:11 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 7:26:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/24/2003 12:15:39 PM EDT by DefMan]
E train going uptown from Penn. Station. A couple of punks with a video camera seeking out sleeping homeless victims. While one guy aims the camera on the homeless man, the other slaps a sticker with a web address onto his head. They both laugh real loud then run like hell. Those two must have been "Advertising Executives". Another one was back in 2001, Feb. or March while taking the Long Island Bus back home from Queens. We're traveling east on Hillside Ave by 169th St and some asswipe in the back of the bus started smoking. Driver tells him to put out the cig. Guy refuses. Bus driver stops the bus and call for assistance. He gives the punk a little lecture about smoking not allowed on the bus. Out of nowhere, the punk punches the driver and holds him in a deathgrip for a few moments while everyone tries to get him to release the driver. Even an old lady hit the punk with the newspaper. When the guy sees and realizes how much of those on the bus is trying to fight him, he has this scared look (I'll never forget that look, LOL!). Finaly, the driver breaks free and pins him down. An MTA car finally arrives to handle the situation.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 7:44:07 AM EDT
Riding a bus through the 'hood. A few of the brothers in the back are getting rowdy. I guess the bus driver didn't open the rear door fast enough, or they didn't want to pay, cuz one of them just brings his leg back and kicks the hell out of the door. It busted the door, it was hanging half-kilter off the hinges and they just walked right out of the bus. The bus driver finished the route with the door flopping back and forth. -Nick Viejo.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 8:31:04 AM EDT
The operators are interesting to observe. A few bus drivers absolutely refuse to come to a stop anywhere near where a passenger is standing. Others use the pedals to act out the hostilities that come from such things as the arguments with their love partner, suspected affairs, hangover plus memories of getting tossed out, not getting the route they wanted, bad traffic, etc. The fott goes down and a passenger has to get a new grip or goes tuumbling. However some of the units have brakes that grab, and traansmissions that shift roughly, but these are not hard to figure out. On a bus I'd never taken before, it turned out that one of the passengers had had her purse snatched, and the driver was racing through the streets helping her look for the perps. We're talking 30 mph through the stop signs, punctuated by occaionally stopping as fast as possible to say, "Is that the guys?" Frankly, it's not a job many thrive in. There is one new driver who was a real sweetheart, it's sad to think that int five yeaars she will probably have an ass too big for the seat, high blood pressure, and a bad attitude from the traffic, passengers, and equipment.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 8:54:52 AM EDT
I have 3 1) Late 80's I was stationed in San Diego and 2 friends and I were riding the trolley back from TJ late at night and it was mostly empty but there was a girl with a bright neon pink spike mohawk leather studded spike collar around her neck black leather very mini skirt torn up fishnets and smaltorn up tank top and she was with 3 guys all in leather garb and tanker boots and punk hairdos well she was sitting on the ack deck of the trolley less than 10 feet from us and all 3 guys were taking "turns" with her and she asks us if we wanted to join in. 2) Stationed in Germany I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled out and another tooth all on the same day by military dentist. My face was very swollen and shot full of numbing agent so there I was trying to ride the strassenbahn home as I lived off post wearing BDU's holding a huge wad of bloody gauze under my chin with blood and saliva still oozing out my mouth plus I was carrying all my football pads so needless to say all the germans were looking at me like damn american football might be a rough sport after all. 3) My wifes first time riding the Strassenbahn home from the base alone and the strassenbahn broadsides a large delivery van crossing the tracks.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 8:59:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/24/2003 9:02:34 AM EDT by BusMaster007]
It would be impolite if I didn't address this Topic...[;D]
...It busted the door, it was hanging half-kilter off the hinges and they just walked right out of the bus. The bus driver finished the route with the door flopping back and forth. [red] This would be the last stop for our Coaches, as the brake/rear door interlock would prevent further forward motion. [/red]
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The operators are interesting to observe. A few bus drivers absolutely refuse to come to a stop anywhere near where a passenger is standing. [red] I was instructed to stop the Bus wherever it was necessary to facilitate easy/safe egress from the zone. Sometimes, though, I'll stop away from the intending passenger(s) to make it inconvenient for them because they are 'known assholes', or, because I wish to control the order of who is boarding. Other times, I am the 'known asshole' and just make it difficult...[/red] Others use the pedals to act out the hostilities that come from such things as the arguments with their love partner, suspected affairs, hangover plus memories of getting tossed out, not getting the route they wanted, bad traffic, etc. The fott goes down and a passenger has to get a new grip or goes tuumbling. However some of the units have brakes that grab, and traansmissions that shift roughly, but these are not hard to figure out. [red] I don't use the Bus to 'park' people. Most Operators wouldn't do that. It would be classified as a 'preventable' accident. No Operator wants that on their record. Some of us are smoother than others, and, as stated, some Coaches aren't conducive to smooth operation.[/red] On a bus I'd never taken before, it turned out that one of the passengers had had her purse snatched, and the driver was racing through the streets helping her look for the perps. We're talking 30 mph through the stop signs, punctuated by occaionally stopping as fast as possible to say, "Is that the guys?" [red] Taking a chance, but, sounds like one of the good guys.[/red] Frankly, it's not a job many thrive in. [red]I've often wondered what character trait is common among Bus Drivers that allows us to do what we do...[/red] There is one new driver who was a real sweetheart, it's sad to think that int five yeaars she will probably have an ass too big for the seat, high blood pressure, and a bad attitude from the traffic, passengers, and equipment. [red]NO!!! You mean like what happens to many 'Public Servants'? The "Big Ass Syndrome" can be avoided, BUTT... There is a constant level of vibration/noise/movement, etc. that makes one physically/mentally fatigued after shift. That is probably the major reason the Transit Operator doesn't get out for the Mararthon every day to keep in shape. I'll keep working on it, though. [:D][/red]
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Link Posted: 5/24/2003 12:27:04 PM EDT
Now that I found my glasses, I see that I can't type worth a sh*t without them............ Evidently it's considered OK for the local drivers to talk on their cell phone while making their way through traffic....usually the females I can see measuring your stop for safety or to add some inconvenience to the guy who's a known ass. (Who, me?) Or [puke]'d his burrito in the back last night. Sometimes I think RACE is a factor, too. Plus there's this one guy who loves stopping near the trash can, and people have to sorta squeeeze, single file. I forgot to mention the Express bus that goes several blocks on the local route, then gets on the freeway. No matter who the driver, or how many warnings they give, when they turn off the main street there is ALWAYS someone freaking out because they weren't listening or don't speak the language. And then the one time I had to take an intercity coach, which pulls up late, we get on, and the driver goes down the street passing people, then pretty soon the passengers saying stuff, then the driver starts asking them where he's supposed to be stopping, etc. Poor guy probably had to take over somebody else's route at the last minute, but for a while some were wondering if he was really a driver, or just joyriding.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 3:03:21 PM EDT
Yeah, RACE must be a factor alright...[rolleyes] I hate it when the 'people of color' won't pick up the Crackers...[;D] JUST KIDDIN'!!! I'M BEING FACETIOUS!!! I don't think 'color' has much to do with Bus Driving. Most driver's just want to carry on with the route with no incident. I don't have time for the 'bigot' bullshit. It's too easy to get blown outta the water by someone going against whatever stereotype you had in mind. Everbody's done it. It's refreshing to get a wake-up call by someone who looks like one thing in your mind and acts totally different. We're required to call out stops, etc. for the American's With Disabilities Act. Mostly because someone sued a transit company...kinda like the McDonald's hot coffee type of lawsuit. Anyway, there's always some moron with headphones on that doesn't hear the announcements. We don't make 'em for deaf people, you know? [;D]
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 4:49:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/24/2003 4:51:16 PM EDT by prebans]
I've got a story, all right. I'm in Milwaukee on the city bus line going through the 'hood. Eating and drinking aren't allowed but this one guy is chugging a 40 of malt liquor. When he finished, he unzips, "refills," and tosses it out the window. Later I hear him swearing and cussing. I look over and he's attempting to clean his POS nickel-plated revolver. I guess the ride wasn't smooth enough to facilitate proper cleaning with the t-shirt he was wearing and spit. Yeeeeah. No more bus for me! Mike
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 5:01:45 PM EDT
I hate public transportation. 2 worst experiences: 1. Riding the Anchorage bus in winter time on the way to school. The roads are icy, and the the bus slides past the bus stop. A guy gets on and criticizes the driver for stopping 10 feet ahead of where he was standing. The bitch bus driver starts screaming and cursing at the top of her voice for at least a minute or two about how the roads are icy, her job is hard, how he should shut the fuck up. I mean the tirade wouldn't end. The guy stood up and walked to the back of the bus, but that didn't shut the enraged bus driver up. I've never seen anything like it. The other wonderful experience was on the San Francisco BART. Some drunk laid down on the bench across from me, started cursing at the p/a system. Some fag told him to shut the hell up, and the wino somehow thought it was ME, sitting across the aisle from him, who was tellimg him to shut up. So for the subway ride, I got to listen to this drunk bastard yell at me, saying things like "You think you're better than me, I can tell you're good at computers, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THIS COUNTRY IS ABOUT!" While the prissy fag was yelling at him from the side. The drunk would retort to the fag's statements, to me. And of course everyone in the car was looking at me. I hate being the center of attention.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 5:05:33 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 5:21:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TrojanFan: I have 3 1) Late 80's I was stationed in San Diego and 2 friends and I were riding the trolley back from TJ late at night and it was mostly empty but there was a girl with a bright neon pink spike mohawk leather studded spike collar around her neck black leather very mini skirt torn up fishnets and smaltorn up tank top and she was with 3 guys all in leather garb and tanker boots and punk hairdos well she was sitting on the ack deck of the trolley less than 10 feet from us and all 3 guys were taking "turns" with her and she asks us if we wanted to join in.
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Did you? My best experience was on the Bart when a guy put a a nice j in his mouth and then started yelling "you almost killed some people back here" at the driver when he was getting off. OR when one day while a I wassporting a recently bic'ed head a wino followed me off the bus calling me a skinhead.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 5:35:26 PM EDT
Was on TDY at the State department doing some research. Buddy of mine and I getting bored sitting around the hotel at night decide to do a little touristing/go see a movie or whatever. So, we walk down to the subway station and ask the guy in the liitle security booth where ther is anything to do. He asked "Do you know where Ballston is?" Now, standing off to the side, hearing through one of those movie theatre ticket booth speakers and his accent caused a little confusion. I replied "Yeah, it is in Massachussets, but that is a little far to go on the subway." Needless to say, my buddy and the transit cop (or whatever he was) bust out laughing at me. (I thought he said Boston, not Ballston) 1985, Tokyo Japan. 5.3 Earthquake while riding the subway. Didn't even know about it until the next morning when the Colonel asks me how I enjoyed the earthquake last night. Same TDY to Japan, riding the bus from the hotel to the Embassy. Sumo competition at the arena that night so the wrestlers are all heading to the arena. The bus is usually loaded, but not packed. That morning we had regular crowd plus a whole S load of Sumo wrestlers. I was always the tallest guy on the bus until that morning. Felt intimidating as hell standing right next to a 6'2 350# Sumo wrestler. But, they were actually really nice. The tall one (the one I was standing next to) actually gave me a pair of tickets, front row seats. It was awesome!!!!! Met a nice local girl at lunch and took her to the match. We had a blast. (I still thank the wrestler for that night. Found out those tickets were around $300 each at that time. Not to mention after the match [;)]
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 6:05:52 PM EDT
I was watching the news one night in Madison , Wisconsin , and there was a story of a man aon a bus a few hours earlier who doused himself with gasoline and lit himself on fire , killing himself and severely injuring a handfull of other people ,.... a little deductive reasoning and I realized that I aws on this bus a few minutes before it happened and passed the guy who did it while I was getting off and he was getting on...he struck the match a few blocks later.... t
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 6:37:09 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/24/2003 6:37:57 PM EDT by Red_Beard]
Originally Posted By prebans: I've got a story, all right. I'm in Milwaukee on the city bus line going through the 'hood. Eating and drinking aren't allowed but this one guy is chugging a 40 of malt liquor. When he finished, he unzips, "refills," and tosses it out the window. Later I hear him swearing and cussing. I look over and he's attempting to clean his POS nickel-plated revolver. I guess the ride wasn't smooth enough to facilitate proper cleaning with the t-shirt he was wearing and spit. Yeeeeah. No more bus for me! Mike
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i rode the milwaukee bus to work for about a year and a half here are the interesting things i've seen 1. stinky homeless guy dressed up like a pirate, hat and all. he smelled soooooo fricken bad that people were getting off of the bus and waiting for the next one on the same rout 2. get on the bus at 7:40, it packed full, and everyone except the driver is white. a single black guy gets on and stands at the back of the bus. after a couple of minutes, he starts chanting in a really loud voice "the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice" over and over and over again. then he starts walking back and forth up and down the isles chanting the same thing and trying to make eye contact with people. I had my hand on a 7 inch long fixed blade knife under my coat cause this dude was achieving his goal of freaking the white folk out. 3. a guy gets on carrying a golf club, salutes the driver, turns towards the back of the bus and screams at the top of his lungs "attennnnnnnSHUN". marches down to a seat and whacks it with the golf club. looks around the bus and yells "what the FUCK are you you looking at" to no one in particular. then screams "AT EASE" and sits down. mumbles to himself the rest of the ride. had the knife ready for this nutjob too. 4. some guy begs money from me. "yo man, you got 85 cent?, i need to buy a pepsi for my old lady so i can git laid." I gave my usual response to beggars "the government took all of my spare change, piss off". he got mad and threw a handful of unopened rubbers at me then got off of the bus.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 7:21:41 PM EDT
Washington Metro stories... 2 elderly homosexuals who obviously no longer have any control over their sphincters. Freaky young college girl talking to her friends about her enjoyment of anal sex, bondage, and being pissed on in the bath tub. There are many others..public transit sucks. GunLvr
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 7:34:22 PM EDT
Originally Posted By raven: The other wonderful experience was on the San Francisco BART. Some drunk laid down on the bench across from me, started cursing at the p/a system. Some fag told him to shut the hell up, and the wino somehow thought it was ME, sitting across the aisle from him, who was tellimg him to shut up. So for the subway ride, I got to listen to this drunk bastard yell at me, saying things like "You think you're better than me, I can tell you're good at computers, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THIS COUNTRY IS ABOUT!" While the prissy fag was yelling at him from the side. The drunk would retort to the fag's statements, to me. And of course everyone in the car was looking at me. I hate being the center of attention.
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[LOL] I ride the BART in and back out of SF everyday, and your situation happens all the time!
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 7:57:45 PM EDT
Don't get me started. I got stuck for several hours in Bridgeport, Ct. Had to deal with a pair of 3rd rate pickpockets, a fag, a whore and a coked out stripper. I ought to tell the tale. At the time it was a real piss-me-off. Years later it's funnier than any post I've ever made.
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 8:41:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By piccolo: Don't get me started. I got stuck for several hours in Bridgeport, Ct. Had to deal with a pair of 3rd rate pickpockets, a fag, a whore and a coked out stripper. I ought to tell the tale. At the time it was a real piss-me-off. Years later it's funnier than any post I've ever made.
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Oh, please tell us. Also, how is the SEC project coming along?
Link Posted: 5/24/2003 10:15:50 PM EDT
Originally Posted By GunLvrPHD: Washington Metro stories... 2 elderly homosexuals who obviously no longer have any control over their sphincters. [b]Freaky young college girl talking to her friends about her enjoyment of anal sex, bondage, and being pissed on in the bath tub.[/b] [red]WOW! ...and her # is ???[/red] [naughty] There are many others..public transit sucks. [red]It's entertaining, isn't it? [/red] GunLvr
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Link Posted: 5/25/2003 6:01:41 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Sniper_Wolfe:
Originally Posted By piccolo: Don't get me started. I got stuck for several hours in Bridgeport, Ct. Had to deal with a pair of 3rd rate pickpockets, a fag, a whore and a coked out stripper. I ought to tell the tale. At the time it was a real piss-me-off. Years later it's funnier than any post I've ever made.
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Oh, please tell us. Also, how is the SEC project coming along?
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yes please tell us. I love hearing stories about Bridgeport. When I was in college in 1989, I had an internship/coop job at the Greater Bridgeport Regional Planning Agency, which is on the 3rd floor of the train station (it's the part that goes over the street). That place was always interesting, we had a cardkey to use the elevator to keep the hookers and drugdealers out. They warned us not to use the stairs. I was propositioned by hookers several times, and remember this was when crack was really popular. My job was to place traffic counters and then download the data and process it. I got to put traffic counters in many wonderful places such as Seaview Ave and Father Panik Village (for those of you who don't know Bridgeport, this is as ghetto as it gets). [shock]
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