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Posted: 5/18/2003 1:22:01 PM EDT
Ever since then, my son won't have anything to do with either one of us. He came home for back surgery though and, against doctors orders, drove 14 hours back to Ft. Lauderdale 2 days after having had major back surgery !!! What is with young girls that want to separate a son from his mother and family and how can we end this nightmare. The wife cries every day (I kid you not) and it is driving me crazy. Help me out guys with some realistic options and if you don't have any, how about an explanation about what is going on in his head. Is he punishing us? Has the girl brainwashed him. He was raised good and taught morals, ethics and the importance of family. This situation is tearing up my life. Please help. Lawdog
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:27:21 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:34:50 PM EDT
That's a pretty messed-up situation, but not all that uncommon. Kinda weird that your son isn't realizing at his age all that you have done for him. Maybe a quick dose of reality (for instance, pulling his 12K per year allowance away) might make him wake up. No offense, Lawdog, but at 25, your son should be making his own money, even if he is in school. Help him out financially if he occasionally needs it (while he's in school), but an allowance at 25? And $12K per year!!??
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:35:19 PM EDT
Lawdog My wife and mother have had there spouts, but it never went as far as what you have experienced. A lot of women are jealous of the mother-in-laws. They feel the attention they need is given to the mother-in-law thus causing problems and hard feelings among each other. I have had several friends that their marriage was destroyed due to their wives being jealous of the mother-in-law. Hang in there hopefully your Son will wisen up and bury these hard feelings. One thing I have always remembered and seen with my own eyes, your mother will come to the defense and protection of their child faster than a spouse will ever do. Your Son is still young and he will realize this.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:35:46 PM EDT
Are you still providing finanical support to your son? If so cut it off and make his girl pick up the slack! Seriously, you deserve to be treated better than that. You didn't really provide enough background, but he could just be going through the phase where he is making a point at seperating himself from his parents. I went through that...probably still am. It is just a natural process of getting out on our own and getting our own seperate lives. Expect many things that will shock you or otherwise directly attack your authority or perceived authority over him. If this is indeed what is happening, there is nothing you can do to stop it. But if he wants to seperate himself from you, then you need to cut off any financial support to him. Otherwise you will just be trying to buy has attention.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:38:25 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:42:34 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:43:39 PM EDT
Lawdog, Your son is thinking with his dick right now. He needs a dose of 'tough love' many members have already given you ideas as to what is called for.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:50:20 PM EDT
Sorry to say, but it's not the girl that's causing the trouble...I fear it's you. It's time to let your son be his own man, and take his own path through life. It's time for you & the wife to stop supporting him ASAP! At 25 years of age, he doesn't need to be "babied", financially supported or otherwise "controlled" by you (his parents) You chose to send him to school, buy him a new vehicle, and pay his way. This doesn't make for nuturing a self-sufficient individual. It's time to let go, sorry. Russ, with a 20 year old son himself.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:52:49 PM EDT
i know you love your son but if you dont sever the umbilical cord, youll be doing him more harm than good. i have a brother in law who is 31 and still lives with his mom and dad. he makes me sick.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:57:28 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/18/2003 1:57:54 PM EDT by SuperAlpha]
[img]http://home.attbi.com/~superalpha123/worthless.gif[/img] pics of the girl?
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:57:33 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:57:40 PM EDT
Turn off the water and air. Live in the moment. His life is not just affecting yours, it is controlling it.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 2:16:50 PM EDT
Originally Posted By lawdog: Ever since then, my son won't have anything to do with either one of us. Lawdog
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Are you still sending him money?
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 2:30:36 PM EDT
You've gotten plenty of good advise already. Keep in mind, however, that if this is indicative of how you raised him, he may not react well to being forced to be on his own. Not much you can do, really, but stop the welfare subsidy and hope for the best. Any way you can enlist him in the Marines without his knowledge? [;D]
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 2:39:50 PM EDT
Being 25 and living on my own I would say "He's a big boy now and can take care of himself even if he is going to school". He better have a job! Cut the 1K a month lifeline.. Your wife did the right thing. Obviously his girlfriend hasn't heard the phrase respect your elders. my .02 Don't let it affect your life.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 2:47:40 PM EDT
You shouldn't be supporting him, at age 25. Does he at least have a part time job?? HAS HE EVER WORKED??? (I guess we're using this thread??)
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 3:19:14 PM EDT
Your son is making the same mistake many young men have, forsaking their families for nookie. He is letting the little head think for the big head. I think the best course of action is to talk to him face to face, explain the situation and go from there. If he persists in punishing you for the deeds of his girlfriend you may want to consider doing the same. He is 25 after all and fully capable of supporting himself. Cutting him off is an option, but what will the repurcussions of that be? Here is how I see your options. 1. Do nothing and maybe he will see the error of his ways. 2. Talk to him and maybe he will see the error of his ways. 3. Take away the new Jeep and give him an 83 Yugo to drive, make him move into the dorms and stop sending his monthly stippend and maybe he will see the error of his ways. 4. Cut off his finiances 100% and maybe he will see the error of his ways. Be careful lawdog, your actions could have consequences that are unforseen. Are you willing to risk never talking to your son again? Are you willing to set him upon a path where he feels desperate? I recommend trying to keep your lines of communication open with him. Force him to deal with the issue in a manner that isn't hostile. Go to Florida and visit him if he will not talk to you on the phone. Perhaps you will get an apology from both him and his girlfriend. I wish you the best lawdog, good luck.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 3:38:47 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Stryker_11A: Your son is making the same mistake many young men have, forsaking their families for nookie. He is letting the little head think for the big head.
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I gotta admit, though, when I was 25 life was one big nookie hunt. [:D]
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 3:44:37 PM EDT
You need to realize your son still has alot to learn about women. Im the same age as him but I scrutinize woman my age heavily because It seems that a good portion of them were never taught what it means to be a real Woman. I hope Iam wrong because there seems to be a decay in the moral fabric of America.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 3:59:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By liberty86: You shouldn't be supporting him, at age 25. Does he at least have a part time job?? HAS HE EVER WORKED??? (I guess we're using this thread??)
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Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, We have a winner!
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 4:11:17 PM EDT
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