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Posted: 5/18/2003 1:17:32 PM EDT
Long story but I'll make it short. My only son, age 25, went to Ft. Lauderdale, FL to attend cullinary school and work toward a BA degree. He met a girl (she just turned 21) and within 3 weeks she moved in with him. We payed for the apartment, his new jeep, all his schooling and gave him a grand a month for "expenses". My son wanted me and his mom to meet her and they flew here. The 1st night was my son's birthday party and she got wasted. She got into words with the wife and called her a crazy f--k-ng b--ch. Wife threw her out of the house. Part 2 follows
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:21:04 PM EDT
Damn Lawdog sorry to here about that!
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 1:31:40 PM EDT
WOW.. Where is "The Rest of The Story" Do tell!!! Your wife did the right thing.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 2:04:12 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/18/2003 2:04:32 PM EDT by Kharn]
Lawdog must have hit "New Topic" instead of "Reply" Here's the second half: [url]http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=187042[/url]
Ever since then, my son won't have anything to do with either one of us. He came home for back surgery though and, against doctors orders, drove 14 hours back to Ft. Lauderdale 2 days after having had major back surgery !!! What is with young girls that want to separate a son from his mother and family and how can we end this nightmare. The wife cries every day (I kid you not) and it is driving me crazy. Help me out guys with some realistic options and if you don't have any, how about an explanation about what is going on in his head. Is he punishing us? Has the girl brainwashed him. He was raised good and taught morals, ethics and the importance of family. This situation is tearing up my life. Please help. Lawdog
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*** Cut the gravy train and he'll figure it out real quick. Kharn
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 2:15:13 PM EDT
Let me guess...Art Insitute of Ft. Lauderdale?
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 2:19:56 PM EDT
You shouldn't be supporting him, at age 25. Does he at least have a part time job?? HAS HE EVER WORKED???
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 3:47:59 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 3:53:04 PM EDT
He's thinking with his dick. For his own good stop the funding of his mommas boy lifestyle. Once you cut off the money she will go away. The pussy has got his mind AFU. Tough love.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 3:58:35 PM EDT
Originally Posted By liberty86: You shouldn't be supporting him, at age 25. Does he at least have a part time job?? HAS HE EVER WORKED???
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Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, We have a winner!
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 4:06:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/18/2003 4:09:40 PM EDT by GreyGhost]
Your 1st mistake was paying for his apartment,his new jeep,all his schooling and giving him a grand a month.What's wrong with struggling a little bit.If everything is handed to him how is he supposed to learn responsibility?At age 25 shouldn't he be taking care of himself?I'm not trying to flame at all but cut those apron strings and he should mature real quick.A hungry stomach is the ultimate motivator.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 4:07:24 PM EDT
Originally Posted By QCMGR:
Originally Posted By liberty86: You shouldn't be supporting him, at age 25. Does he at least have a part time job?? HAS HE EVER WORKED???
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Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, We have a winner!
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Hey QCMGR. About your signature line? You forgot to mention that Jesus has to bring a cosigner.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 4:51:29 PM EDT
From the statements you have made Lawdog, I would say that. 1 You and your wife are babying your son to much. I think all parents do this. 2 Your son found a piece of ass and he is love with that ass. Not the women but well you know. 3 He believes he can walk all over you and your wife and you will always be there.(This is probably true) All you can really is when the shit hits the fan with his new women let him hang for a while. You can also cut him off. No money for school no more spending cash. Let him earn his own way. Your son needs to learn that you are his parents and love him no matter what, however he needs to be a man and take care of himself. Also I think all of you need to work on a more adult relationship. What I mean is that he should be treated with respect and in turn your son and his girlfriend need to do the same.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 5:12:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/18/2003 5:15:21 PM EDT by TomJefferson]
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 5:32:10 PM EDT
Cut the pursestrings..take the vehicle back and your name off of the lease if it is on it..sink or swim time asshole..Time to be a MAN..it doesn't just happen in the bedroom crybaby. JMHO.
Link Posted: 5/18/2003 5:52:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/18/2003 5:59:18 PM EDT by Am-O-Tramp]
It would be interesting and important to find out if the [s]boose[/s] booze was talking or her, getting her drunk was your fault, it's your home you set the rules, you should have never allowed her to get that way in the first place. Your all to blame the way I see it.
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 5:03:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/19/2003 7:58:55 AM EDT by Brohawk]
It's the nature of kids not to appreciate things that are given to them. These things are seen as entitlements. They don't really start understanding the value of money, food, shelter, etc. until THEY are responsible for it. As a father, I saw my purpose as putting myself out of a job. That is, to train my kids to be independent and self-suffcient, and also able to make sound decisions on their own. The fact is they aren't always going to have me. They have to be able to take care of themselves as adults. By fostering dependency you are doing him a great disservice. I'd cut off the flow and tell him to spread his wings and fly. He may be angry with you in the short run, but after real life teaches him some lessons he'll appreciate it, if he has any sense. You've done more than your part. It's time for him to do his. BTW, I would never tolerate my girlfriend dissing my Mother in our house (or elsewhere!). Jr may be 25, but still has to grow up. Sorry if any of this sounds harsh, but you see where the nice guy stuff took the situation. You need to take control away from him and draw the line. I hope it works out. Remember, it's not your job to be his buddy, it's your responsibility to prepare him for real life. Don't let yourself be manipulated by him ("If you cut me off I'll never talk to you again!"). Spoiled kids are good at that and some parents live in fear of their kids not liking them. I've had periods where my kids didn't "like" me. They got over it. I know they may not like what I say, but they know they can trust what I say.
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 8:17:26 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/19/2003 8:18:48 AM EDT by badredfish]
Yep it is amasing what a boy will do for a girl! Kinda reminds me a a dumb joke: Why does P**** have pubic hair?.....To hide the Hook. I would recomend that you go with a co-op program. He works the summber and pays the fall bills, and when the money runs out you pick up the spring school bills and the running money. This set up will open his eyes up to what it takes to make a living in the big bad world. YMMV Badredfish [devil]
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 8:31:11 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 11:25:01 AM EDT
You might want to find a Tough Love Chapter and attend some meetings to find out how lucky you are at the moment, and even more importantly, what you might have to look forward to if you don't let your son fend for himself.
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 11:30:10 AM EDT
A grand a month for expenses! You have got to be kidding me. Stop throwing money at this kid, and let reality do the rest of the work for you.
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 11:39:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/19/2003 11:44:47 AM EDT by DnPRK]
Hey troop! Make sure you have the right target before squeezing that trigger. Sounds like mother is having seperation anxiety. Surely she must realize that the little birds have to fly the nest sooner or later. Maybe some counseling would help her. You might need to go with her for the first couple sessions to get things started down the right track. Pray your son's girlfriend doesn't get pregnant. When your son awakens from the spell, he doesn't want to have child support/visitation to deal with. I would not cut him off. Let him know you are there for support.
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 11:45:34 AM EDT
Mother birds teach their chick to fly by pushing them out of the nest. Time to push your son out, he needs to learn to fly with his own wings. -UHLEK-
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 11:56:23 AM EDT
sounds like you raised a spoiled little Sh*t If you do not cut him off after what is live in did you your wife, you are not honoring your wife.
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 12:06:58 PM EDT
I think perhaps our friend was getting advice he didn't wanna hear......
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 12:28:47 PM EDT
lawdog, for a grand a month, new jeep and paid apartment, You can be my mom and daddy, and I will even come home an mow the lawn!! First off, you and your wife created this problem with this 25 year old pussy. WTF, now you won't win because this type lifestyle has be in his life for 25 years. What were you expecting anyway. Right now he is doing all his thinking with his small head!!and the new GF is packin his balls around in HER purse!! Cut his worthless ass off and make NO contact, let him get a taste of the real world.
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 1:01:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Pangea: He's thinking with his dick. For his own good stop the funding of his mommas boy lifestyle. Once you cut off the money she will go away. The pussy has got his mind AFU. Tough love.
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I concur .... with her maybe being his "first"? Chris
Link Posted: 5/19/2003 1:48:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/19/2003 1:50:04 PM EDT by Citabria7GCBC]
did she say, "law dont go round here lawdog" lol seriously though, your wife did the right thing. she (the g/f )needs an attitude reajustment!
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