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Posted: 5/16/2003 8:06:05 AM EDT
A few weeks ago I asked if anyone could tell me how to get rid of my crabs. Your outpouring of suggestions and sympathy was overwhelming. (sniff) Thank you. Well, I think I'm making progress. Instead of trying all of the medications, chemicals and incendiary devices you guys suggested, I decided to go low-tech...I armed myself with a long dowel, snuck up on their holes, and if I saw legs, I harpooned the dowel into the hole. I have three confirmed crab-kills using this method. One of the crabs measured almost six inches across...I'm thinking about having that one mounted. I've been avoiding using the cat-food-soaked-in-antifreeze method because a few of my neighbors have dogs, and I don't want them (the dogs) to dig up the poison bait and eat it. I don't know how many more crabs there are, but my lawn is starting to look better after I filled in all the holes whose occupants met an untimely demise. bwahahaha.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:08:26 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:12:41 AM EDT
ahh, another adoring fan. my first post on the topic was even stranger. But seriously, the land crabs were turning my lawn into swiss cheese. they undermined one corner of my concrete driveway, which later cracked from the weight of the car.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:15:30 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:19:28 AM EDT
this one or my first one? I kind of hoped people would appreciate the humor . ;)
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:21:02 AM EDT
I still say you should do a blanket job with thermite. Not only will your crabs be gone, you will have a lovely, mantinence-free, glass yard.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:26:09 AM EDT
I actually like mowing my lawn; it's about the only exercise I get anymore. Some of the "final solutions" you guys came up with for my original crab-post were pretty good, if not detrimental to the whole neighborhood.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:26:36 AM EDT
Wife-O-snail50, "Honey, what are you doing with that dowel stuck in your hole?". snail50, "Uhhh nnnothing sugar. IIIII"m juuuuuust.................killing some crabs! Yeah, that's it. You see I found these crabs in my hole so I stuck this dowel in there to kill them." Sick mofo! [;D]
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:28:01 AM EDT
How did they taste? [;D]
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:32:02 AM EDT
Hey Pangea: I think you were one of the ones who posted an innovative solution to my infestation. You'll remember that my wife refused to take any responsibility for my crabs! Jetlag: I'm not planning on eating them because they eat dogsh!t. That's the only good thing the crabs do, but I'd rather just shovel it back over my neighbor's hedge than feed a thriving colony of crabs.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:38:13 AM EDT
I hope that they don't turn out to be some kind of rare endangered dogshitconsumeus crabius. You will have to leave them alone and move.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 8:52:36 AM EDT
Instead of immediatly stabbing them you should keep them alive anp put them in some fresh water for a few hours before the bar-b-q. You would be amazed at the amount of dirt that those critters have in their systems. You should notice some sediment at the bottom of the bucket. oh yea almost forgot...stop screwing crack heads.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 9:12:12 AM EDT
I don't think these are endangered...just you're garden-variety painintheassimuslawnshredicus crabbis horribilis. I thought about eating the crabs until someone reminded me that they eat poop. And once I saw the sort of oily glop that leaked out of their shattered little bodies, I don't think any amount of soaking would make them palatable.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 9:29:31 AM EDT
Dogs eat poop and they taste just fine.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 11:07:34 AM EDT
crack cocaine = bad
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 11:12:31 AM EDT
Yeah, Jetlag, but you grill or fry dog; you boil crab. I don't think boiled dog would taste so good. Kind of bland. blech.
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 11:29:07 AM EDT
Originally Posted By snail50: ahh, another adoring fan. my first post on the topic was even stranger. But seriously, the land crabs were turning my lawn into swiss cheese. they undermined one corner of my concrete driveway, which later cracked from the weight of the car.
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EAT "EM!!! Stuffed crab, yummy!!!
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 11:54:18 AM EDT
Here's the one that got away. [img]http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid62/p1572e27fbf3964c531db6f094986e8b7/fc23733e.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 12:17:11 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 12:23:26 PM EDT
mmm, crab stuffed with poop. Hi Liberty86. I think you had some creative solutions to my crab problem, right? Tramp: I let that little orange one escape so that he could take this message back to the other crabs: get the hell out of my lawn, or else! But now that I see he's dancing around with that big grin, I think I'm gonna wax him. Waxed crab, anyone?
Link Posted: 5/16/2003 12:24:35 PM EDT
DoubleFeed, that doesn't look like any crab I've ever seen. Must be a Texas crab! ;)
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