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Posted: 5/14/2003 5:50:02 AM EDT
A couple of people I've talked to lately have indicated that they think that it's wrong to date someone if you don't think that you'd ever marry them. If she's not "the one" then it's wrong, or a waste of both your time, or whatever. What do ya'll think? Personally, I don't think it's wrong at all. As long as you don't mislead anyone, I don't see a problem with it. You shouldn't be telling her that you love her, and you wan to be with her forever, but at the same time I don't see any reason to sit down with them and have a talk and come right out and say "I will never marry you". Kind of a "don't ask don't tell" thing I guess. Incidentally, I'm not asking because I'm going to change my mind based on what's posted here. It's just something that came up for me in the real world, and I was curious to see what you guys think.
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:03:06 AM EDT
yes. youre gonna burn in hell. [}:D]
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:04:33 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:09:17 AM EDT
Absolutely not! There is nothing wrong with dating someone as friends only. You never know, you may change your mind over time.
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:23:52 AM EDT
Hell no! What kind of an idiot would think that???
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:34:15 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:34:43 AM EDT
I think you can date someone with no intention of marrying them. You'd have reasons for doing it... nookie... company... money.. whatever... Personally, I do think it would be a waste of time to date someone I had no intention to spend a LONG time with, or marry. A few years ago, I missed out on this little hottie that liked to screw and such, but she was as dumb as a box of rocks and wasn't very fun to be around when we weren't between the sheets, so I didn't pursue it. In hindsight, I should have. Constant nookie would have been fun. Now, I won't really waste my time anymore, but nookie would be desireable...
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:44:21 AM EDT
Tylermcnamara posted something like this. He is going through this with his GF... [url]http://www.jobrelatedstuff.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=186278&page=2[/url]
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:59:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Matthew_Q: I think you can date someone with no intention of marrying them. You'd have reasons for doing it... nookie... company... money.. whatever... A few years ago, I missed out on this little hottie that liked to screw and such, but she was as dumb as a box of rocks and wasn't very fun to be around when we weren't between the sheets, so I didn't pursue it. In hindsight, I should have. Constant nookie would have been fun. Now, I won't really waste my time anymore, but nookie would be desireable...
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What happens when you knock that poor "dumb as a box of rocks" girl up? She's carrying your kid and maybe she plans on keeping it. Either way, you've just attached yourself to that girl, whether you plan on marrying her or not. My father gave me two pieces of wisdom before he died. 1: Don't shit where you eat. That works on so many levlels, from the literal to a rainbow of metaphors. 2: Never screw anyone you can't stand to be involved with for the rest of your life. Mistakes/accidents happen and you have no honor if you don't live up to your responsibilities. I've followed those two pieces of advice with excellent results throughout my life. Not that I didn't sleep with some crazies or some people who in hindsight were bad ideas, it was just that I didn't notice they were stark raving nutjobs at the time. After enough of them, I got good at avoiding them. Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas...
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 6:59:54 AM EDT
I guess it comes down to deffinitions of dating. To me it's just that, dating. It doesn't mean I'm deffinately doing anything with you. Remember the Seinfeld episode where he helped George realize that he had a girlfriend? "Friday night, is the date implied or not?" To me, dating means it's never implied, it's always asked. I guess maybe I should call it "friends with an option of fucking". But then to me, that's what every friendship with a girl is about. That's why I'm not friends with homely women, haha.
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 7:06:02 AM EDT
It would be wrong if the person you are dating is looking for someone to marry and you allow them to believe you are also looking for someone to marry. If you are honest about your intentions you will not go to Hell.
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 7:15:08 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/14/2003 7:15:30 AM EDT by NoVaGator]
What if it's clear to both parties that you're just f#*k buddies?
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 7:33:04 AM EDT
There is nothing wrong with dating someone you have no intention of marrying as long as no one is being misled. Sometimes you can date someone for fun for a long period of time before you do realize they are 'the one'. What is the reason these people think it is wrong?
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 7:39:40 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 7:45:19 AM EDT
I'm 38, so I'm really only interested in a woman if she has potential to be my wife. I have guy and girl friends, and don't need to clutter my life with more friends. Not being stuck up. I own a business and simply don't have any more free time. I want to spend that free time wisely. Where I am now in my life, I'm not dating anybody if they are not wife material.
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 8:48:33 AM EDT
Originally Posted By TheRicker: Typically, someone with a worldview that condemns pre-marital sex, also looks down on "dating" with no intent to marry.
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Ironically, one of the people that said this to me is one of the biggest sluts I know.
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 9:16:26 AM EDT
Look at it this way- one day you're going to marry somebody you dated. Do you want to spend time, money, emotional investment, etc. on someone who isn't a candidate?
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 9:27:24 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Brohawk: Look at it this way- one day you're going to marry somebody you dated. Do you want to spend time, money, emotional investment, etc. on someone who isn't a candidate?
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Send pictures and I'll tell you!
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 9:52:09 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 10:34:34 AM EDT
No. How do you know if you want to marry her if you don't date her, first?
Link Posted: 5/14/2003 11:31:20 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Brohawk: Look at it this way- one day you're going to marry somebody you dated. Do you want to spend time, money, emotional investment, etc. on someone who isn't a candidate?
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I look at it more as killing time. Rather than sitting around pulling your pud while you look for ms. right, why not be getting some play from ms. right now?
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