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Posted: 8/27/2015 3:51:43 PM EDT
[#1]
 You know what needs to be done... |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:03:00 PM EDT
[#2]
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb ?
One. They have no sense of humour and no time to fuck around. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:13:17 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Don't feed the immigrants I am just back from Hamburg It left me the impression that the whole middle east moved there and replaced the native population. Also bums everywhere. 
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:20:50 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I am just back from Hamburg It left me the impression that the whole middle east moved there and replaced the native population. Also bums everywhere.
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Don't feed the immigrants I am just back from Hamburg It left me the impression that the whole middle east moved there and replaced the native population. Also bums everywhere.
Yeah, despite what the media say, Europeis doing pretty poorly. OP, you'll be a 30 or so minute train ride to Idar-Oberstein, check it out. Also, if you wine, you'll be close enough to the Pfaltz to get some great local labels for cheap. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:23:43 PM EDT
[#5]
If you need a bathroom, say in stern voice, "wo ist der Führer"
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:30:12 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Look up CopBlock videos on Youtube. The Germans are more resistant to the police, so you can even be more forceful. Don't be afraid to ignore them and just walk away. /Facepalm |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:32:27 PM EDT
[#7]
I'm laughing at all of your German comments.
Ya, I actually know a little bit. I won't be talking to any lassies about the size of my Tool. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:42:08 PM EDT
[#8]
Ohhh mannn....
Why would anyone want to do that? That place is horrible  |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:43:12 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: http://gonnabeawesome.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Girls-of-Oktoberfest-2012.jpg You know what needs to be done... But in 3 weeks I will  |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:43:52 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Artemis- FKK Club in Berlin.....that is all  there is a better one a little out side of Berlin Therme Ludwigsfelde |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:44:04 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He won't be there during that time frame... But in 3 weeks I will
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
http://gonnabeawesome.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Girls-of-Oktoberfest-2012.jpg You know what needs to be done... But in 3 weeks I will
Me too, if you see an American(fat white guy) in a larue cap say hi |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:45:11 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb ? One. They have no sense of humour and no time to fuck around. that is not true they only need one because they are smarter and do not need help
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:46:50 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Me too, if you see an American(fat white guy) in a larue cap say hi Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: http://gonnabeawesome.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Girls-of-Oktoberfest-2012.jpg You know what needs to be done... But in 3 weeks I will Me too, if you see an American(fat white guy) in a larue cap say hi Well shit, that narrows it down... |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 4:59:36 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Well shit, that narrows it down... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
http://gonnabeawesome.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Girls-of-Oktoberfest-2012.jpg You know what needs to be done... But in 3 weeks I will
Me too, if you see an American(fat white guy) in a larue cap say hi Well shit, that narrows it down... It's a small country right? Never been before |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 5:35:52 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Be prepared to be impressed with the way ze Germans handle airport security. Seriously, they don't fuck around in Frankfurt. I've actually had two different security folks joking with me while going thru security at FRA. I was surprised that they have a sense of humor. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 5:45:03 PM EDT
[#16]
Certain public bathrooms have attendants so you are expected to tip/pay
Ausfart is EXIT (IIRC) Flashers on when sudden stop/slowing on highway Don't pass on right Don't speed Not allowed to take pictures of strangers (wide angle ok but no close-ups) Know all the rules or expect to be yelled at/lectured I think, in general, the Germans still hate Bush Water - ask for flat/still or you'll get carbonated/sparkling/soda Most Germans can speak English Tipping is not mandatory but appreciated They love signage so know all the signs Don't bring up their past, reference NAZIs, or remind them that they are an occupied country West Germans aren't big fans of Russians (not sure about Turks) Place money on tray BTW, FRA now has FREE Wi-Fi!!! |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 5:48:55 PM EDT
[#17]
I was over there and Austria in June. Wander around, enjoy the womens' "company" (if you can't pick up a girl in Germany, you should give up) , keep a beer buzz all day, enjoy the fresh air (once outside of Frankfurt), enjoy women who are actually fit and not lazy, eat and eat some more. From every person and experience I came across there (my second trip over I loved it so much) they are very friendly and accommodating. Try German even if you're not 100% on what you're saying. Worst they'll do is laugh.
ETA: Even the waitresses are generally hotter than ours 
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Posted: 8/27/2015 6:11:00 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was over there and Austria in June. Wander around, enjoy the womens' "company" (if you can't pick up a girl in Germany, you should give up) , keep a beer buzz all day, enjoy the fresh air (once outside of Frankfurt), enjoy women who are actually fit and not lazy, eat and eat some more. From every person and experience I came across there (my second trip over I loved it so much) they are very friendly and accommodating. Try German even if you're not 100% on what you're saying. Worst they'll do is laugh. ETA: Even the waitresses are generally hotter than ours https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/l/t1.0-9/10954596_10153144597983558_8092620835660023355_n.jpg?oh=398d1bb6a0c93be1040c8f77e19ced60&oe=5636DCB6 Reminds me of advice from some Germans - prostitution is legal but being a John isn't. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 8:15:48 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Certain public bathrooms have attendants so you are expected to tip/pay Ausfart is EXIT (IIRC) Flashers on when sudden stop/slowing on highway Don't pass on right Don't speed Not allowed to take pictures of strangers (wide angle ok but no close-ups) Know all the rules or expect to be yelled at/lectured I think, in general, the Germans still hate Bush Water - ask for flat/still or you'll get carbonated/sparkling/soda Most Germans can speak English Tipping is not mandatory but appreciated They love signage so know all the signs Don't bring up their past, reference NAZIs, or remind them that they are an occupied country West Germans aren't big fans of Russians (not sure about Turks) Place money on tray BTW, FRA now has FREE Wi-Fi!!! It's funny but some of these are only a problem if you're a foreigner.... They don't care if other Germans do it lol To add though: -Stay in the furthest right lane you can LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING and I mean it. -Germans don't like Russians or Turks but will never admit it to you as a foreigner. Avoid all political talk if possible because you'll get dragged into a fuck fuck session if you do. -Most Germans speak English fluently. Just be polite, and show humility, or try a little German and they will gladly speak English. -Don't tip large amounts. 5 to 10 Euros for a meal is considered a lot. Usually gratuity is included but locals usually just round up to the nearest full dollar, or if you feel nice the nearest 5. -Water isn't free. Even tap water. -Get a Doner Kebap. Trust me you'll see a sign, just go for it. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 8:22:04 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
Title says it all. I leave Saturday and return next week Friday. I'll be flying into Frankfurt and staying in Deidesheim and then near Mannheim. Never been out of the country before, other than to Canada. Any arfcommers in that area? Real beer has Flavor |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 8:22:53 PM EDT
[#21]
Best advice I can give you?
German Girls love American Guy's ______ s 
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Posted: 8/27/2015 8:42:03 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
there is a better one a little out side of Berlin Therme Ludwigsfelde Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Artemis- FKK Club in Berlin.....that is all there is a better one a little out side of Berlin Therme Ludwigsfelde This is the gentleman whose advice you should seek and abide by. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 8:46:35 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If ordering beers, say 2 of them, don't start with index, middle finger. Start with your thumb and index. Almost like the loser sign people make with their hands. Zwei Bier, bitte. http://livelovetravelwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/loser_b.jpg 
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Posted: 8/27/2015 8:50:24 PM EDT
[#24]
gewrappen bevor du getappen
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Posted: 8/27/2015 8:55:20 PM EDT
[#25]
They still have the Nazi mentality...
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Posted: 8/27/2015 9:26:43 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
http://gonnabeawesome.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Girls-of-Oktoberfest-2012.jpg You know what needs to be done... Oh damn!  ........
They are actually smiling! The teuton I work for looks like this...  all the time!
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Posted: 8/27/2015 9:28:47 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: gewrappen bevor du getappen |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 9:30:12 PM EDT
[#28]
Germans love poop jokes.
Seriously, the punch line of every German joke involves shit in one way or the other. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 9:30:33 PM EDT
[#29]
Tell them to apologize for bombing pearl harbor.
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Posted: 8/27/2015 9:33:01 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Look up CopBlock videos on Youtube. The Germans are more resistant to the police, so you can even be more forceful. Don't be afraid to ignore them and just walk away. Isn't that like deleting system32 to fix windows?
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Posted: 8/27/2015 9:51:21 PM EDT
[#32]
If there's an opening at the roundabout, get yer ass moving. Don't stop and Clark Griswold your way around the fucker.
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Posted: 8/27/2015 9:52:22 PM EDT
[#33]
Anal fisting is the German equivalent of a handshake
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Posted: 8/27/2015 9:59:20 PM EDT
[#34]
"Es tut mir leid, ich spreche kein Deutsch."
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:06:04 PM EDT
[#35]
"Deine Mutter schwitzt beim Kacken!" -eine schreckliche Beschimpfe in Deutschland.
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:07:43 PM EDT
[#36]
I've been a couple of times and you have been given good advice, at least in the serious replies. Dinner with the natives may take 2-3 hours so don't be in a hurry. My experience that requesting the check or trying to get the attention of your waiter is somewhat rude. They will get the check to you eventually. As mentioned, don't bother ordering ice, they either won't have it or will think you are an idiot.
A variety of meat is served for breakfast. Very good stuff. I had dinner with some good friends over there and we had pork made 6 different ways on a giant platter. It was great. They do drink at lunch, sometimes heavily. 10-15 years ago I could have lived there, maybe not so much now. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:08:24 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Frankfurt??? Ahhhhhh Marble Palace!!! |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:13:25 PM EDT
[#38]
If you make it to Cologne, there are two girls that work at two separate restaurants that have my heart. One was in a fancy french restaurant right close to the train depot that might of had the best ass and legs I have ever see. The other was in a Turkish restaurant that might be the bet Turkish food I have ever had and she was 6', dark and one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.
Anyways, have fun and drink a lot of beer and fall in love. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:14:44 PM EDT
[#39]
Kinder Eggs are pretty cool. The chocolate in them is really tasty. Also the Ferro Chocolate Covered Cherries have a significant alcohol content. Also, Oktoberfest is really in September.
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:29:30 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Kinder Eggs are pretty cool. The chocolate in them is really tasty. Also the Ferro Chocolate Covered Cherries have a significant alcohol content. Also, Oktoberfest is really in September. Don't try to take or send Kinder Eggs home. They are illegal here. 
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:42:24 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Don't try to take or send Kinder Eggs home. They are illegal here. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Kinder Eggs are pretty cool. The chocolate in them is really tasty. Also the Ferro Chocolate Covered Cherries have a significant alcohol content. Also, Oktoberfest is really in September. Don't try to take or send Kinder Eggs home. They are illegal here. Yep, it is funny though. Apparently German kids 3 and under don't put small pieces of toys in their mouth, they know they might choke. They were legal to bring back to the US at one time. On my last trip over the OPS Sergeant Major brought a small carry on bag over with him that was completely empty. When we were on our way back home he used the bag as a carry on and it was filled with Kinder Eggs. It really looked funny going through the baggage xray at the Frankfurt airport. The security folks got a good laugh when they had him open the bag so they could confirm what he was carrying. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:47:21 PM EDT
[#42]
You'll have a blast. Germany is one of my favorite countries in Europe, next to Hungary & Poland (Eastern European women at a ratio of 4:1 women to dudes, yes please). I lived in Switzerland for a year and ventured into Germany like every other weekend. Munich is a blast but the history in Berlin (and night clubs, shout out to Matrix!) are unmatched. Honestly, Germans are just awesome people and generally get along great with Americans.
As already mentioned, Doner Kebabs are delicious and weissbier is amazing. Quote HistoryQuoted:
If ordering beers, say 2 of them, don't start with index, middle finger. Start with your thumb and index. Almost like the loser sign people make with their hands. Zwei Bier, bitte. http://livelovetravelwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/loser_b.jpg Isn't that how the dude in Inglorius Basterds gave away his cover, trying to act German? |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 10:49:36 PM EDT
[#43]
Be careful if you order black olives on your pizza. They don't remove the pits from the olives. Ask me how I know.
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Posted: 8/27/2015 11:02:53 PM EDT
[#44]
If your experience is anything like mine: pack condoms.
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Posted: 8/27/2015 11:03:41 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Be careful if you order black olives on your pizza. They don't remove the pits from the olives. Ask me how I know. Lived there for a total of 12 years, never had that happen. Did regularly order a pizza with a fried egg in the center, though. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 11:03:51 PM EDT
[#46]
Were you also at Kirch Goens? a long long time ago?
Quote HistoryQuoted:
lol Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Frankfurt??? Ahhhhhh Marble Palace!!! |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 11:18:20 PM EDT
[#47]
In my experience traveling in Germany, which is a litte: dated, the major hotels had coed nude saunas--the nudity was mandatory and enforced by the sauna frau who could beat the crap out of you.
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Posted: 8/27/2015 11:26:51 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Doner Kebabs Have one, it's the only redeeming Turkish quality. http://i61.tinypic.com/25kly0p.jpg Grab one right after you land. There will probably be a shop just outside the gate. Also get some tins of this at a rest-stop on the autobahn or store similar to Walgreens/CVS (can't remember the name for the life of me) Caffeinated chocolate in a tin. |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 11:32:36 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If your experience is anything like mine: pack condoms. Gummischutz |
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Posted: 8/27/2015 11:35:34 PM EDT
[#50]
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