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Posted: 11/25/2002 2:55:54 PM EDT
[#1]
life sucks [:(]
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Posted: 11/25/2002 2:59:52 PM EDT
[#2]
I can't imagine anything worse in life than losing a child. Prayers are going out to the family.
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:01:30 PM EDT
[#3]
That truly sucks. Prayers to the family.
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:09:35 PM EDT
[#4]
Having lost my 13 year old daughter 7 years ago I STRONGLY suggest that you attend any and all services that you can. If you cry don't worry about. We should all show more emotions at time like this. I cannot tell you how much it helped to see how many people cared about us at that time.
Gerry |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:09:47 PM EDT
[#5]
I pray for the peace of the Lord for this
poor family. I thank God for the health of my two little ones every knight. Very sad news. Truly devastating. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:14:32 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted: To brain cancer on Thursday. The viewing is tomorrow AM and I am trying to make every excuse possible to avoid attending. Be there for your friend. [:(] |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:19:03 PM EDT
[#7]
Kelsey is survived by a twin sister Shannon. Oh that poor girl! Twins are unusually close for siblings even if fraternal and if they are identical then it gets even worse in a situation like this. She is probably going to wonder why this happened to her sister not her-and since its something like cancer- the thought WILL it happen to her in the future... I hope people are really looking out for her. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:20:46 PM EDT
[#8]
I know it's difficult, but you really should attend. Your presence will definitely be appreciated by her family.
Sorry for their (and your) loss. It really seems wrong that a 10 year old kid has to go through something like that. God Bless. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:21:19 PM EDT
[#9]
Quoted: Quoted: To brain cancer on Thursday. The viewing is tomorrow AM and I am trying to make every excuse possible to avoid attending. Be there for your friend. [:(] YES!! BE THERE!! THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!! You don't have to say a word. But just by being there, you are doing so much for Kelsey's parents. Prayer sent for Kelsey and her family. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:24:17 PM EDT
[#10]
Thats horrible, My condolences. Its terrible when a mother or father outlives there children. You should be there for him. I would.
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Posted: 11/25/2002 3:58:08 PM EDT
[#11]
Be there for your friend. Yes, but don't be there too much. How to tell the difference? I don't know. My wife and I went through this three times and having lots of people stop by got very annoying. We just wanted to sit and do nothing. Now it might be different since everyone has a telephone and you can simply call, but I'm sure having the phone ring several times an evening isn't pleasant either. Just let them know now that you're available, and leave it at that. If you do want to do something, wait a month or so. That will be after most people have forgotten about it. They'll still need you then. Why do you want to avoid the viewing? It's a horrible experience, but it's just something you should do.z |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 4:09:55 PM EDT
[#12]
May God give peace and comfort to the family in this time of their need. I pray that the family will be able to recieve supernatural peace, after their time of mourning.
I will share this with the people at my Church and we will keep this family in our prayers. [b][blue]NAKED[/blue][/b] |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 4:24:08 PM EDT
[#13]
A long time ago, I read a quote that went, "Children are God's opinion that the world should go on." Your friend's little girl is by the Lord's side now. And the joy she brought to this world and to her parents, she now brings to Him.
Go to Kelsey's funeral. Remember your friend's little girl with him. God Bless. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 4:25:49 PM EDT
[#14]
Why do you want to avoid the viewing? It's a horrible experience, but it's just something you should do.z First let me thank ALL of you for your kind sentiments and prayers...truly appreciated! My first funeral was my own fathers when I was just 8 years old. I simply try to avoid them. Kelsey's funeral is a [b] tragedy. [/b] This is a 10 year old, still innocent and a beautiful child. Perhaps I feel guilty because of this [img]http://pages.prodigy.net/labradorx3/public_html/jw11.jpg [/img] My first and only child. Healthy today and can't imagine not having him in my life! |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 4:38:21 PM EDT
[#15]
No need to feel guilty, unless you [b]don't[/b] do whatever you can for your [b]friend[/b]. Sure, it'll be hard as hell, but part of being a friend is being there for the hard times, too. Go to the funeral, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life, man.
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Posted: 11/25/2002 4:55:53 PM EDT
[#16]
My prayers and sympathy go out to the family and friends. Please try to garner the strength to be there for your friend at this horrible time, you will be glad you did.
I am a cancer survivor, and I know what this family has faced. They need you at this time more than at any time ever, be there to cry with them. I am 58 years old and was at the funeral of a great American hero last week who lost his battle with cancer and I cried openly. I loved that man as I would my brother, he helped to save my life and I owe him for that, Tony G |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 5:09:35 PM EDT
[#17]
Please goto the funeral Code39. It may be hard but you will never forgive your self if you dont.
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Posted: 11/25/2002 5:31:41 PM EDT
[#18]
Go. Just go.
There is nothing else you can do for them right now, other than being there in their hour of grief. They likely are too hurt to feel anything else but their loss, but your quiet presence will speak volumes. Be receptive- let them do the talking, or asking for help, if they feel up to it. If you don't go, you won't be able to forgive yourself. Go. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 6:20:38 PM EDT
[#19]
Be a man.
Be a friend. Be there. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 6:35:41 PM EDT
[#20]
My wife and I lost an 18 year old nephew just a few weeks ago. His downward slide with a brain tumor was very painful. The funeral, while a relief in some ways (he thought he was inside of a dolphin the last time we saw him) was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Please go and be with his family. As others have stated, you just being there will mean the world to them, and later, to you. Continue to be available to them.
Suck it up and go to the funeral. No matter how hard it is, you would not believe how lame you will sound when you try to explain why you were not there. Bob Best of luck man, you are going to need it. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 6:42:24 PM EDT
[#21]
man i have twin boys i dont know what i would do if i lost one or both of my boys.please dont look for an excuse not to go.friends need friends even more in bad times.you dont need to view his daughter but you should go to just say sorry to your friend. if you dont you will never forget the day you werent there for him.i know from personal experiance.[:(]
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Posted: 11/25/2002 6:56:56 PM EDT
[#22]
GO GO GO GO
God grant us to accept the things we can't change My blessings to all SEMPER FI |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 7:21:22 PM EDT
[#23]
Your presence is the best condolence you can give.
I urge you to shed a tear and share in your friend's grief. He (they) will be ever grateful for it. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 7:32:33 PM EDT
[#24]
You have to go.
If you don't it will bother you the rest of your life. I have a friend who had his boyhood best friend get killed in a car wreck by a drunk driver. He didn't attend the funeral, and in fact avoided the family. That was over 22 years ago and he still kicks himself in the ass for not going. If you ride a motorcycle then this is one of the best things you can do, The Ride for Kids. [url]www.ride4kids.org/[/url] I did a couple of these events when I was living in SoCal, it was one of the best things I have ever done. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 7:35:08 PM EDT
[#25]
Never had to bury a child, but I've buried too many friends. When I was in college my girlfriend and I were leading a group of students on an outward bound type hiking trip for incoming freshmen. She took the lead on a mountain trail and was about ten feet ahead of me. She lost her footing and fell off the cliff. I lunged for her and missed, I looked over the edge and saw her impact the ground more than a hundred feet below. I hooked up around a tree and did a piss poor job of repealling down the cliff to get to her. Completely shattered, broke her neck, thank God is was quick and could not have been very painful although I can't imagine what the sensation of falling to her death must have been like. I waited at the bottom of the cliff for an hour plus until a National Guard helicopter got to us and got her body out. I didn't want to leave, would have been content to stay on the ledge and die there that day, I blamed myself for her death... for not being in the lead, for not moving fast enough to grab her, for being alive when she was dead. The poor National Guardsman had to scream at me to get me to react and put the harness on me to life me out. I avoided everyone and became the world's biggest prick, just didn't know how to deal. Fortunately my friends and fraternity brothers and especially ny family stuck with me. I missed the funeral, couldn't face her family, didn't know what to say. I hated myself, couldn't imagine what they were feeling. Around a month after her funeral her mother showed up on my father's doorstep. She had driven six hours to see me. Instead of me being there for her, she ended up being there for me. I tell you this because you won't know what he needs until you put yourself out there for him. We all deal with grief differently and the only regret you will ever have is not doing what your heart tells you to do.
I haven't talked about this in years but it was a hell of a life lesson that everyone needs to learn at some time. I thought I wa young when I dealth with it at 20, that poor girl at 10. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 7:37:30 PM EDT
[#26]
GO THERE!
My brother died 10 years ago, and if anyone of the folks attending the wake offering their condolences asked anything of me, I would give it. It means a lot to them for you to be there. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 7:41:21 PM EDT
[#27]
Thank You!
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Posted: 11/25/2002 7:47:16 PM EDT
[#28]
You need to go to the service. I went to a funeral for a whole family killed on Sept. 11. It is hard, but necessary, and you will be glad you did it.
GunLvr |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 7:48:47 PM EDT
[#29]
IMO, please try to be there for your friend. I lost both of my parents... Dad in 1995, Mom in 1998. My best friends were there to carry the Caskets for me, same four guys, both times. I know it was really hard for a couple of them, but it meant more to me than I can say. [:(]
My best, most sincere wishes to your friend & his family, and you as well. EricE |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 7:49:39 PM EDT
[#30]
Everyday with a child is a gift from God. Savor every precious moment as each is unique and then gone forever.
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Posted: 11/25/2002 8:52:30 PM EDT
[#31]
What a tragedy. My heart and prayers to the family. I know I will sound redundant but GO!
your worrying about going hurts a heck of a lot less than the guilt of you NOT going for the rest of your life. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 9:04:05 PM EDT
[#32]
Be there. It will haunt you later if you do not go. God speed.
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Posted: 11/25/2002 9:19:21 PM EDT
[#33]
I am going to be the contrarian voice here. If you cannot bring yourself to go, there's no reason for you to try and put on the facade.
Everyone deals with grief in their own way. I deal with mine alone. I have lost several immediate family members in the past 6-7 years. All of my family knows that I am a very emotionally private person, and particularly with regard to grief, I do not wish to be part of some "collective prostration of drama". Every culture deals with death in its own way, and like clockwork, America has a fucked up tradition. I don't know how it evolved, but the idea that a family member who just lost a loved one has to stand on their feet next to the open casket containing the corpse of their loved one for hours and hours at end greeting people who come from all over to offer their condolences is physically and emotionally brutal. I think it's a put-on show engineered by the mortuary industry to "give value" for all the thousands of dollars a family spends. It has no relevance to the family or the grieving process. Frankly, I don't want my loved one's last memories of me to be laying in an open casket for hours and hours. I'd rather be remembered for the vibrant (colorful) life that I lived. Just my perspective. |
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Posted: 11/25/2002 9:20:12 PM EDT
[#34]
I agree with most of the people that have posted. You were friends with this couple they will need you there for support. In life we sometimes have to take the hard road to accomplish the things that need to be done.
My sincere sorrow for your friends loss, may god protect the rest of their family. |
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Posted: 11/26/2002 5:31:48 AM EDT
[#35]
Anybody can do the easy things. A real friend is one who will do the hard things, and be there for you when you need them. Your friends need you now. Go. You will forever be glad you did.
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Posted: 11/26/2002 5:33:59 AM EDT
[#36]
If you can, I'd be there for your friend. I'll keep them in my prayers.
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Posted: 11/26/2002 8:04:12 AM EDT
[#37]
Quoted: I am going to be the contrarian voice here. If you cannot bring yourself to go, there's no reason for you to try and put on the facade. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. I deal with mine alone. I have lost several immediate family members in the past 6-7 years. All of my family knows that I am a very emotionally private person, and particularly with regard to grief, I do not wish to be part of some "collective prostration of drama". Every culture deals with death in its own way, and like clockwork, America has a fucked up tradition. I don't know how it evolved, but the idea that a family member who just lost a loved one has to stand on their feet next to the open casket containing the corpse of their loved one for hours and hours at end greeting people who come from all over to offer their condolences is physically and emotionally brutal. I think it's a put-on show engineered by the mortuary industry to "give value" for all the thousands of dollars a family spends. It has no relevance to the family or the grieving process. Frankly, I don't want my loved one's last memories of me to be laying in an open casket for hours and hours. [b]I'd rather be remembered for the vibrant (colorful) life that I lived[/b]. Just my perspective. That's why I'm all for a traditional Irish wake. Lot's of food, lots of booze, lots of remembering what the deceased was like and giving him or her a heck of a send-off. That's what I want, anyway. I even have a fund set up to pay for the party!! |
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Posted: 11/26/2002 8:29:15 AM EDT
[#38]
Damn that is simply fucking horrible. To have to watch your child suffer and die slowly like that. I'd fall apart. My condolences to her family.
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Posted: 11/26/2002 1:19:12 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: That's why I'm all for a traditional Irish wake. Lot's of food, lots of booze, lots of remembering what the deceased was like and giving him or her a heck of a send-off. That's what I want, anyway. I even have a fund set up to pay for the party!! HELL YESSS!! I am glad someone else understands my point here. Prop me up in the corner! |
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