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Posted: 11/25/2002 2:53:51 PM EDT
To brain cancer on Thursday. The viewing is tomorrow AM and I am trying to make every excuse possible to avoid attending. I can't imagine how he and his wife must feel at this time. Thanksgiving is just two days away!!! Kelsey is survived by a twin sister Shannon. Count your blessings tonight! And PLEASE remember all those less fortunate this Thanksgiving. Kelsey Edith Gallen...I'll miss you!
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:55:54 PM EDT
life sucks [:(]
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:59:52 PM EDT
I can't imagine anything worse in life than losing a child. Prayers are going out to the family.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:01:30 PM EDT
That truly sucks. Prayers to the family.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:09:35 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2002 3:17:38 PM EDT by ger42]
Having lost my 13 year old daughter 7 years ago I STRONGLY suggest that you attend any and all services that you can. If you cry don't worry about. We should all show more emotions at time like this. I cannot tell you how much it helped to see how many people cared about us at that time. Gerry
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:09:47 PM EDT
I pray for the peace of the Lord for this poor family. I thank God for the health of my two little ones every knight. Very sad news. Truly devastating.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:14:32 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Code39: To brain cancer on Thursday. The viewing is tomorrow AM and I am trying to make every excuse possible to avoid attending.
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Be there for your friend. [:(]
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:19:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/25/2002 3:20:25 PM EDT by ArmdLbrl]
Kelsey is survived by a twin sister Shannon.
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Oh that poor girl! Twins are unusually close for siblings even if fraternal and if they are identical then it gets even worse in a situation like this. She is probably going to wonder why this happened to her sister not her-and since its something like cancer- the thought WILL it happen to her in the future... I hope people are really looking out for her.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:20:46 PM EDT
I know it's difficult, but you really should attend. Your presence will definitely be appreciated by her family. Sorry for their (and your) loss. It really seems wrong that a 10 year old kid has to go through something like that. God Bless.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:21:19 PM EDT
Originally Posted By MAHABALI:
Originally Posted By Code39: To brain cancer on Thursday. The viewing is tomorrow AM and I am trying to make every excuse possible to avoid attending.
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Be there for your friend. [:(]
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YES!! BE THERE!! THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!! You don't have to say a word. But just by being there, you are doing so much for Kelsey's parents. Prayer sent for Kelsey and her family.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:24:17 PM EDT
Thats horrible, My condolences. Its terrible when a mother or father outlives there children. You should be there for him. I would.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 3:58:08 PM EDT
Be there for your friend.
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Yes, but don't be there too much. How to tell the difference? I don't know. My wife and I went through this three times and having lots of people stop by got very annoying. We just wanted to sit and do nothing. Now it might be different since everyone has a telephone and you can simply call, but I'm sure having the phone ring several times an evening isn't pleasant either. Just let them know now that you're available, and leave it at that. If you do want to do something, wait a month or so. That will be after most people have forgotten about it. They'll still need you then. Why do you want to avoid the viewing? It's a horrible experience, but it's just something you should do.z
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 4:09:55 PM EDT
May God give peace and comfort to the family in this time of their need. I pray that the family will be able to recieve supernatural peace, after their time of mourning. I will share this with the people at my Church and we will keep this family in our prayers. [b][blue]NAKED[/blue][/b]
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 4:24:08 PM EDT
A long time ago, I read a quote that went, "Children are God's opinion that the world should go on." Your friend's little girl is by the Lord's side now. And the joy she brought to this world and to her parents, she now brings to Him. Go to Kelsey's funeral. Remember your friend's little girl with him. God Bless.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 4:25:49 PM EDT
Why do you want to avoid the viewing? It's a horrible experience, but it's just something you should do.z
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First let me thank ALL of you for your kind sentiments and prayers...truly appreciated! My first funeral was my own fathers when I was just 8 years old. I simply try to avoid them. Kelsey's funeral is a [b] tragedy. [/b] This is a 10 year old, still innocent and a beautiful child. Perhaps I feel guilty because of this [img]http://pages.prodigy.net/labradorx3/public_html/jw11.jpg [/img] My first and only child. Healthy today and can't imagine not having him in my life!
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 4:38:21 PM EDT
No need to feel guilty, unless you [b]don't[/b] do whatever you can for your [b]friend[/b]. Sure, it'll be hard as hell, but part of being a friend is being there for the hard times, too. Go to the funeral, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life, man.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 4:55:53 PM EDT
My prayers and sympathy go out to the family and friends. Please try to garner the strength to be there for your friend at this horrible time, you will be glad you did. I am a cancer survivor, and I know what this family has faced. They need you at this time more than at any time ever, be there to cry with them. I am 58 years old and was at the funeral of a great American hero last week who lost his battle with cancer and I cried openly. I loved that man as I would my brother, he helped to save my life and I owe him for that, Tony G
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 5:09:35 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 5:31:41 PM EDT
Go. Just go. There is nothing else you can do for them right now, other than being there in their hour of grief. They likely are too hurt to feel anything else but their loss, but your quiet presence will speak volumes. Be receptive- let them do the talking, or asking for help, if they feel up to it. If you don't go, you won't be able to forgive yourself. Go.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 6:20:38 PM EDT
Be a man. Be a friend. Be there.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 6:35:41 PM EDT
My wife and I lost an 18 year old nephew just a few weeks ago. His downward slide with a brain tumor was very painful. The funeral, while a relief in some ways (he thought he was inside of a dolphin the last time we saw him) was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Please go and be with his family. As others have stated, you just being there will mean the world to them, and later, to you. Continue to be available to them. Suck it up and go to the funeral. No matter how hard it is, you would not believe how lame you will sound when you try to explain why you were not there. Bob Best of luck man, you are going to need it.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 6:42:24 PM EDT
man i have twin boys i dont know what i would do if i lost one or both of my boys.please dont look for an excuse not to go.friends need friends even more in bad times.you dont need to view his daughter but you should go to just say sorry to your friend. if you dont you will never forget the day you werent there for him.i know from personal experiance.[:(]
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 6:56:56 PM EDT
GO GO GO GO God grant us to accept the things we can't change My blessings to all SEMPER FI
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 7:21:22 PM EDT
Your presence is the best condolence you can give. I urge you to shed a tear and share in your friend's grief. He (they) will be ever grateful for it.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 7:32:33 PM EDT
You have to go. If you don't it will bother you the rest of your life. I have a friend who had his boyhood best friend get killed in a car wreck by a drunk driver. He didn't attend the funeral, and in fact avoided the family. That was over 22 years ago and he still kicks himself in the ass for not going. If you ride a motorcycle then this is one of the best things you can do, The Ride for Kids. [url]www.ride4kids.org/[/url] I did a couple of these events when I was living in SoCal, it was one of the best things I have ever done.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 7:35:08 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 7:37:30 PM EDT
GO THERE! My brother died 10 years ago, and if anyone of the folks attending the wake offering their condolences asked anything of me, I would give it. It means a lot to them for you to be there.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 7:41:21 PM EDT
Thank You!
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 7:47:16 PM EDT
You need to go to the service. I went to a funeral for a whole family killed on Sept. 11. It is hard, but necessary, and you will be glad you did it. GunLvr
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 7:48:47 PM EDT
IMO, please try to be there for your friend. I lost both of my parents... Dad in 1995, Mom in 1998. My best friends were there to carry the Caskets for me, same four guys, both times. I know it was really hard for a couple of them, but it meant more to me than I can say. [:(] My best, most sincere wishes to your friend & his family, and you as well. EricE
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 7:49:39 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 8:52:30 PM EDT
What a tragedy. My heart and prayers to the family. I know I will sound redundant but GO! your worrying about going hurts a heck of a lot less than the guilt of you NOT going for the rest of your life.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 9:04:05 PM EDT
Be there. It will haunt you later if you do not go. God speed.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 9:19:21 PM EDT
I am going to be the contrarian voice here. If you cannot bring yourself to go, there's no reason for you to try and put on the facade. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. I deal with mine alone. I have lost several immediate family members in the past 6-7 years. All of my family knows that I am a very emotionally private person, and particularly with regard to grief, I do not wish to be part of some "collective prostration of drama". Every culture deals with death in its own way, and like clockwork, America has a fucked up tradition. I don't know how it evolved, but the idea that a family member who just lost a loved one has to stand on their feet next to the open casket containing the corpse of their loved one for hours and hours at end greeting people who come from all over to offer their condolences is physically and emotionally brutal. I think it's a put-on show engineered by the mortuary industry to "give value" for all the thousands of dollars a family spends. It has no relevance to the family or the grieving process. Frankly, I don't want my loved one's last memories of me to be laying in an open casket for hours and hours. I'd rather be remembered for the vibrant (colorful) life that I lived. Just my perspective.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 9:20:12 PM EDT
I agree with most of the people that have posted. You were friends with this couple they will need you there for support. In life we sometimes have to take the hard road to accomplish the things that need to be done. My sincere sorrow for your friends loss, may god protect the rest of their family.
Link Posted: 11/26/2002 5:31:48 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/26/2002 5:33:59 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/26/2002 8:04:12 AM EDT
Originally Posted By BenDover: I am going to be the contrarian voice here. If you cannot bring yourself to go, there's no reason for you to try and put on the facade. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. I deal with mine alone. I have lost several immediate family members in the past 6-7 years. All of my family knows that I am a very emotionally private person, and particularly with regard to grief, I do not wish to be part of some "collective prostration of drama". Every culture deals with death in its own way, and like clockwork, America has a fucked up tradition. I don't know how it evolved, but the idea that a family member who just lost a loved one has to stand on their feet next to the open casket containing the corpse of their loved one for hours and hours at end greeting people who come from all over to offer their condolences is physically and emotionally brutal. I think it's a put-on show engineered by the mortuary industry to "give value" for all the thousands of dollars a family spends. It has no relevance to the family or the grieving process. Frankly, I don't want my loved one's last memories of me to be laying in an open casket for hours and hours. [b]I'd rather be remembered for the vibrant (colorful) life that I lived[/b]. Just my perspective.
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That's why I'm all for a traditional Irish wake. Lot's of food, lots of booze, lots of remembering what the deceased was like and giving him or her a heck of a send-off. That's what I want, anyway. I even have a fund set up to pay for the party!!
Link Posted: 11/26/2002 8:29:15 AM EDT
Damn that is simply fucking horrible. To have to watch your child suffer and die slowly like that. I'd fall apart. My condolences to her family.
Link Posted: 11/26/2002 1:19:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By FatMan: That's why I'm all for a traditional Irish wake. Lot's of food, lots of booze, lots of remembering what the deceased was like and giving him or her a heck of a send-off. That's what I want, anyway. I even have a fund set up to pay for the party!!
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HELL YESSS!! I am glad someone else understands my point here. Prop me up in the corner!
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