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Posted: 11/23/2002 7:38:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/23/2002 7:40:36 PM EDT by SouthernShark]
I saw this disturbing story on the International News' Wire:
Al Qaeda Plots Assault on America's Medical Resources #65279; Nov. 23, 2002 Ozzi Bin Ja-Zarri, an International News correspondent in Jerusalem, has uncovered disturbing information regarding a potential Al Qaeda plot to attack America’s medical resources by using the common cold virus. Al Qaeda agents, in forty American cities, plan to start releasing six different strains of the common cold this winter season. Each agent has with them several vials containing seperate cold viruses. On December 7th 2002, the agents will break open the vials and infect themselves with each of the strains of virus. Once the agents become ill, they will spread the common cold by sneezing or coughing into salad bars at various chain restaurants including Ruby Tuesdays and the Golden Corral. The operatives will handle, sneeze and cough on the food in order to contaminate it. Agents also plan to handle food in the produce sections of grocery stores. Many of these agents also have jobs in fast food restaurants or grocery stores and are in prime positions to spread the cold viruses. The Al Qaeda operatives have also trained not to wash their hands after using the restroom. Al Qaeda operatives are experienced at coating their hands and other body parts with feces. Once they have built up a layer of feces on their hands, the operatives will begin smearing their hands against fruit and vegetables in the produce section of grocery stores in order to spread the infections. While the common cold may not seem like much of a threat to the United States, its cumulative effects could be catastrophic. Dr. Jason Braswick from the Grossman/Kato Medical Institute, stated that while the common cold by itself would pose little threat to America, the simultaneous introduction of six strains of cold virus could place an undue strain on America’s medical resources. “Every year we have one or two strains of the cold virus, but six strains at one time could be catastrophic. We only produce so much cold and flu medicine in the United States. We plan on having one or two viruses a year. With six alien viruses being introduced at the peak of the cold season, our cold and sinus medicines will run out within a week.” Doctor Braswick stated. Doctor Braswick also noted that the American economy could be wrecked by the introduction of the cold virus. “Just imagine how many people will call in sick at the same time.... It could cause a nationwide shutdown.” This plot takes Al Qaeda to a new level of gamesmanship which has not been seen since the Cold War. These type of subtle attacks on a nation can go unseen until the totality of the attacks creates a disaster. The FBI is urging all Americans to be on the lookout for individuals who may try to handle food or produce after using the restroom (especially individuals with fecal matter on their hands). -Ozzi Bin Ja-Zarri
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Disturbing- SS
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:05:44 PM EDT
Worth a Btt.
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:08:35 PM EDT
Yes, disturbing. That you, a supposed adult, bought into this bullshit..... Scott
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:10:06 PM EDT
Wait, is this a joke? Coordinated sneezing onto salad bars is perceived as an actual threat? This has to be a joke. They'd need millions of salad-sneezers to have any sort of real effect.
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:14:22 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:29:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:33:12 PM EDT
Are some people here really gullible enough to believe this stuff? I thought it was funny when I was reading it, but what's even funnier is that someone could actually believe it's true. Carry on.....
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:35:17 PM EDT
You should put something in the title so we can tuck our pants into our boots before reading.
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:44:36 PM EDT
There is such a thing as the AlQueda SS (Salad Sneezers?) [:X*] Glad my fat ass doesnt eat salad.
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:45:04 PM EDT
Here's a clue: There are [b]MANY THOUSANDS OF STRAINS OF THE "COMMON" COLD[/b]. Six strains at once is [b]NOT[/b] a major outbreak..... Scott
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 3:45:55 PM EDT
BTW, I am a carnivore. Salad is to feed the animals I eat..... Scott
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 4:17:49 PM EDT
That would have to mean school age children are a terrorist plot. They spread more colds and flus than a *million* such terrorist operatives. Just more evidence for the notion that having kids is dangerous to your health! [;D]
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 4:31:25 PM EDT
I'm not saying thay aren't still dangerous, because they are, but they have been having their ASS handed to them for the last year. The last thing they are is organized anywhere near where they were on 10 Sept 2001. If we play this right, (and we will), we'll send tens of thousands of those satanic, moon god worshipping fucks to conjugate with 72 imaginary virgins. May they all be buried in pigskin and rot in Hell. That is all.
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 4:38:22 PM EDT
I have had a cold all weekend. OHMYGOD terrorists have already got me.....save yourselves, it's too late for me. [:D]
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 4:39:30 PM EDT
Al Qaeda operatives are experienced at coating their hands and other body parts with feces.
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now thats believable!
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 4:43:48 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 4:45:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/24/2002 5:50:41 PM EDT by SuperChicken]
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 4:52:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DScott: That would have to mean school age children are a terrorist plot. They spread more colds and flus than a *million* such terrorist operatives. Just more evidence for the notion that having kids is dangerous to your health! [;D]
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We have to ban children now!! Now is the time!! It for the good of the childr.... Oops I guess that wont work?
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 5:00:21 PM EDT
Thanks for telling the terrorists that we're onto their plot. Now they might carry shit in a bag instead of on their hands.
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 5:05:51 PM EDT
BAN SNEEZING, FOR THE CHILDREN!
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 5:12:44 PM EDT
Once the agents become ill, they will spread the common cold by sneezing or coughing into salad bars at various chain restaurants including Ruby Tuesdays and the Golden Corral.
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Wow, that's an urban legend I haven't seen in a while. Usually they surface about once a year. I don't think I've seen the salad bar one on the Internet in almost 10 years. Good research on digging that one up! Also, claiming it would happen on the anniversary of the Jap attack is a nice touch.z
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 5:15:22 PM EDT
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if alot of people get sick them we will know why,Al Qaeda [:O] W should step up Nyquil production under the new Dept. of Homeland (spend'n like a drunk hooker in Macy's)Security.
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 5:42:48 PM EDT
OK Abdullah, drop the lettuce and step away from the salad bar! Keep your nose where I can see it!
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 5:44:13 PM EDT
All I know is that the people who thought I posted this because I was being serious are the [b]rea[/b] fucking morons. FACT: I wrote this myself. FACT: If you thought I was stupid enough to be posting this as some kind of warning, then [b]YOU[/b] are a dipshit. -SS
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 6:32:01 PM EDT
Yep, nothing spells out terrorist like "Ruby Tuesdays"!! Wouldn't they blend in better serving up hot dogs and slurpees at 7-11, and Wawa ??
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 6:34:42 PM EDT
FACT: You suck at writing. Don't quit your day job.
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 8:12:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/24/2002 8:28:48 PM EDT by SouthernShark]
Originally Posted By the_reject: FACT: You suck at writing. Don't quit your day job.
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Let me guess, you are pissed off because you just got done buying up all of the local cold and flue medicine. :D :D :D -SS
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 8:38:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By DScottHewitt: Yes, disturbing. That you, a supposed adult, bought into this bullshit..... Scott
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[^][^][^]
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 8:40:49 PM EDT
Originally Posted By FALARAK: [rolleyes]
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I concur
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 8:45:01 PM EDT
FACT: I wrote this myself.
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Nice old-style troll. Too bad someone didn't embarrass themselves by posting that they thought it was true.z
Link Posted: 11/24/2002 9:44:37 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SouthernShark: All I know is that the people who thought I posted this because I was being serious are the [b]rea[/b] fucking morons. FACT: I wrote this myself. FACT: If you thought I was stupid enough to be posting this as some kind of warning, then [b]YOU[/b] are a dipshit. -SS
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Trolling for morons, are we? How rewarding that must be for you. I agree, we must ban the children, er..., save the children, no... I mean ban the saving of sick chldren... Oh, never mind.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 6:06:17 PM EDT
BTT
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 6:59:42 PM EDT
Originally Posted By obershutze916: I have had a cold all weekend. OHMYGOD terrorists have already got me.....save yourselves, it's too late for me. [:D]
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Damn they got me too,stomach flu earlier this week. Save yourselves........avenge me..........................................................................................................................................................................
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