I'm sitting in a meeting at work, bored as hell. Thank goodness for laptops and AR15.com. I wonder if anyone will notice I'm not paying attention. [:D]

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your
voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if
they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for
sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with
the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a
tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!",
"I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're
loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of
insanity.......

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book,
even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send
them stuff like this.

Suddenly being an at-home dad in a messy house with three screaming kids doesn't seem so bad after all.....

Sometimes, just for fun, I like to assess everyone in the room and come up with a plan/strategy for killing them all before anyone can get out of the room.  This gets a little difficult in large departmental meetings, but since it's the IS department (lotsa geeks), I figure that might make my job easier.

Try it.  People will think you're intently listening to their comments, while you're actually determining if a strike to the throat or a palm strike to the nose will quickly incapacitate them. [}:)]

I [b]hate[/b] meetings.  They always seem to pull me into them.  Recently, I've taken to hiding out in the server room to avoid them.

They'll see you are busy, even during the meeting, and give ya a pay raise!!   [:D]

There are few more useless ways to waste one's life than to sit in 4-hour business meetings.  My sympathies.

Start peeking under the table...that should liven things up a bit

Damn.....9Div..

When I first glossed over this thread I thought you said PEEing under the table...

I guess either would work.

Hey, Chimborazo,

I did #2 once at the company shipyard on the main PA.  Everyone in the whole yard cracked up except for 1 stuffy *. It's a good one.

Thanks Chimbo!  I already do #4 and #11 but some of these others look like fun too.[:d]

Venerated, just for laughs just bring up something totally unrelated to what they are talking about at the meeting and see how long they stray from the orig topic.  I did that yesturday morning and chuckled to myself as they went on and on for 20 mins about nothing![8d]

Funny, there's a guy at work I know who [b]consistently[/b] pulls a #15.....the sad part is he's SERIOUS about it.

I did this today, it was one of those days.   Anyhow, the ass at the office who complained that I had rm -Rf /bin laden on my signature for my email bitched about this to my boss and i had to take it down.  he was bitching since it made him feel like i didn't care.

man, sometimes i hate corporate america.

Try not to do this though...[sleep]

Ok this will work if you work where you know if the target will use a particular phone to answer the page, page them to call the phone they will use. All they will get is a busy signal, if you can follow them most of the time they will comment that they got a busy. Tell them to keep trying because it sounded important. Best time for me was to keep my Sup. going for 15 min. But then I also had him looking for a metric protractor.......