[b]Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out
the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best
meet your needs and desires.[/b]

1. Personal Details
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other

First Name: ..................................................
Initial: ........
Last Name:...................................................
Password: ............................... (max. 8 char)
Code Name:...............................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ............ ...........

2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?

[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 20.. /......./.....

4. Serial Number:.........................................

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:

[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
you have just purchased:

[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision
to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / manoeuvrability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:

[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Miscellaneous Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future:

[_] Colour TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How best would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Indicate all that apply:)

[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal cheque
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveller's cheque

12. Your occupation:

[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defence Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

13. To help us better understand our customers; please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating
on a regular basis:

[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Defaulting on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be
registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
Please write to:

McDonnell
DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military, Aerospace Division.

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s)
named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged,
or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense
of humour, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not
authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating
social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its
correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any
legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
transmission of this email; although the Collie next door is living on
borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of
the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message
revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert.
Notice from Microsoft: However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around
yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your
pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and
egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.



[i]
This was allegedly posted (very briefly) on the McDonnell Douglas Website
by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour. The company, of
course, does not have a sense of humour, and made the web department take
it down immediately.[/i]


[blue]the above I received in an email, thought it funny so I'm sharing it here[/blue][:)]