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Posted: 10/27/2002 9:59:20 AM EDT
[#1]
tell 'em you're a Jehovah witness and invite them in for an hour or three [:D]
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Posted: 10/27/2002 9:59:58 AM EDT
[#2]
Have you tried offering them a beer?
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:03:23 AM EDT
[#3]
Hell I have been excommunicated for years and they still wont leave me alone. F**King Cults.
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:08:39 AM EDT
[#4]
If she were still alive, I'd suggest you send them to my mother's house.
They must make some sort of clandestine mark or something, because they avoided our house like a plague when I was a kid. You see, she invited them in and proceeded to give them an hour+ long introduction to her view of the bible. You never have seen two guys so anxious to leave a place in their life. On the other hand, at least the Mormons are pro 2nd Amendment. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:13:11 AM EDT
[#5]
"And the correct answer is . . . Mormons!. Mormons is the one, true religion."
South Park |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:16:38 AM EDT
[#6]
I've always found that an intercom speaker mounted by the door is helpful:
[b]"I'm in the middle of praying right now. Please go the fsck away!!"[/b] Works for most unwanted visitors. I don't know if it would have the same effect on the FBI or ATF, though. [:D] |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:22:26 AM EDT
[#7]
Maybe they just like screwing with you.
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:23:49 AM EDT
[#8]
Mormons, JW, Encyclopedia and Vacuum Salesman. All the same, just moving an idea. Railing on a religion because of it missionarial practices seems pretty harsh.
Imagine where christianity would be if missionaries hadn't been sent from Rome to... well, everywhere. Before a monster freak out and intolerant rant you might try a $1.29 no solicitors sign. 2 bits. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:30:29 AM EDT
[#9]
Don't be selfish, share the porn.
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:31:49 AM EDT
[#10]
Buy a "No Solicitors" sign, I never went to any house that had one of those on it, no matter if I was selling magazines, papers, or doing missionary work.....
Hmmm, Mormons are (mostly) pro second amendment, are there other religions that are officially so? |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:38:53 AM EDT
[#11]
OK, well this was a long time ago... I was young... but it worked [:)]
I saw them coming down the street and got prepared. Answered the door naked with the GF naked right behind me... Motley Crue "Shout At The Devil" playing on the stereo. Opened the door nice and wide and said "What do YOU want, I'm fuckin' in here." They left post haste and never came back to that house. Later in life... new house... new wife... She answers the door and is nice to them. Accepts their book of mormon just to get them to go away. Bad move of course... When they come back, I answered the door and was very nice to them (she had her 5 year old daughter with her so I behaved for the most part). She asked if I had read any of it. I told her yes. She asked what I thought. I told her very nicely that it was the most ridiculous piece of shit I had ever read. No returns to that house. I missed them at this house. My roomate answered the door and I was gone. I was told later that she answered the door, took one look at them and said she was a Satanist, did drugs, drank, fucked, beat the dog, and get the fuck off my porch... I don't think they will be back. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:39:48 AM EDT
[#12]
I'd go crazy if people rang my doorbell with the frequency that you're indicating.
I live in the Chicago burbs, DuPage county, in a town of over 50,000, surrounded by other towns, marching one after the other all the way to Chicago, and in all other directions for 20 miles. Not counting UPS, USPS, FedEx, etc, my doorbell rings maybe once every 2 or 3 months. Maybe it's a regional thing, but I can't imagine that many people going door to door. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:40:29 AM EDT
[#13]
I live in an area that has lots of Mormons but they are not the majority. I've come to some conclusions:
1. They are mostly very good decent people. They are strongly patriotic and mostly conservatives. Many of my "militia" buddies at the range are LDS. 2. They are very self sufficient. They take care of themselves and each other. They are unlikely to ever be on welfare or take handouts. 3. They are NOT Christians. Even though they call themselves "The Church of Jesus Christ, Latter Day Saints". They DO NOT believe in the salvation of Christ. 4. They will ostracize you if you do not join their church. They will give you plenty of chance to join but if you don't they won't have anything to do with you. They won't even let their children play with your kids. All-in-all I'm nice to LDS members and treat them with respect but I do not want to join their cult. I feel sorry for them in that they will never know the real Peace of the Lord. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:47:27 AM EDT
[#14]
Be nice to the God Damned Mormons!
Most are Pro GUN! |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:48:54 AM EDT
[#15]
This is how I have handled the JCCLDS in the past:
Knock knock Me: Ja? LDS: Hi. We are from the JCCLDS. Can we talk to you for a moment? Me: Vas? Enshultigen. Ich kein Englische versthenen. I then begin to actively pick my nose while staring at them. LDS:Uhhh. You speak American at all? Me: Konn du Deutsche sprechen? Konn Ich hilfe du? Warum bis du hier? I pretend to find a booger and instantly stick it in my mouth with a little mmmmm sound. My sister, hearing the exchange walks up, smiles sweetly, and says: Hishgthikith? Miszreshckitsytu gyut souzbilya? LDS: Uhhh. We will come back later. Me: shruggin Alles klar. Chus. This works best with an imaginary language, preferably something Slavic sounding with many harsh consonants. German or Spanish may be spoken by the LDS operative. Gibberish is a many splendored thing. Another tack? LDS: Hi. Do you have a moment to talk to us? You: looking around at the outside furtively Did anyone see you come here? Does anyone know you are here? LDS: We would like to talk to you today about.. You: You have to come inside. I can't be seen talking to you here. start acting nervous. Grab your penis. Beging massaging it and making a repetitive nervous uhhh uhhh uhh while rapidly shifting your weight from foot to foot. LDS: Maybe we should.. You: No! You have to come inside! Come see my basement! I want to show you things! I want to be your friend! You should have a wild look in your eyes, don't forget to keep twisting Mr. Happy, while you are fidgiting around. LDS: Should be in full retreat at this point. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 10:52:48 AM EDT
[#16]
All scum. I ought to landmine my porch.
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:02:58 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted: I live in an area that has lots of Mormons but they are not the majority. I've come to some conclusions: 1. They are mostly very good decent people. They are strongly patriotic and mostly conservatives. Many of my "militia" buddies at the range are LDS. 2. They are very self sufficient. They take care of themselves and each other. They are unlikely to ever be on welfare or take handouts. 3. They are NOT Christians. Even though they call themselves "The Church of Jesus Christ, Latter Day Saints". They DO NOT believe in the salvation of Christ. 4. They will ostracize you if you do not join their church. They will give you plenty of chance to join but if you don't they won't have anything to do with you. They won't even let their children play with your kids. All-in-all I'm nice to LDS members and treat them with respect but I do not want to join their cult. I feel sorry for them in that they will never know the real Peace of the Lord. I couldnt have said it better myself. Having grown up LDS and then studying more and learning more about things what a slap in the face to find all the dirty little con jobs done by joesph smith and Co. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:09:41 AM EDT
[#18]
Do what my mother did while I was in high school, in october and invite them back to worship with you first before you will with them. So they need to come back on 10/31, and bring your own chicken service starts at 1200 sharp. They never came back, my mom did the same thing to the Jehovah witnesses they never came back ethier, Hmmmmmmmm wonder why they are still probably parying for my moms soul to this day.
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:10:32 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: ... ROFLAMO |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:27:20 AM EDT
[#20]
Had the same problem when I lived in Texas. No matter how many times I told them to go away or was rude to them another new bunch would show up. One day after having a few beers, I answered the door beer and hand and told the young people standing there that I worshipped the Devil and was just looking for someone like them to help me with a service. Apparently the word got out and I never saw another one again.
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:45:09 AM EDT
[#21]
You fucks are Mormon bashing!
Why don't you fat ass beer drinkers stop spouting your anti-Mormon propaganda! |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:46:09 AM EDT
[#22]
Well, Flash66 got # 1 & 2 right, wrong on 3 and 4. Most of the rest of you have some seriou sissues... I'm NOT LDS, but was raised that way, so I know enough about it. I personally don't buy into any religion, and I really don't want the uninvited knocking on my door, which is why I bought a NO SOLICITING sign. Pretty simple, huh? Just think, in the time it took to rant on here, you could've made a home-made version that would last until your next trip to Wal-Mart. It would work for those pesky Boy Scouts selling magazines, and Girl Scout cookies too. Ah, but then you wouldn't have had a chance to get on here and show what a tough guy you are. Woowee, we're all mightily impressed.
Anyone arguing the fine points of one religion vs. another (ESPECIALLY to the point of denigrating one) really "can't see the forest for the trees." This board has some really cool people on it. Then there are some of you guys... |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:49:23 AM EDT
[#23]
We were talking about door to door sales in one of my marketing classes, and it supposedly very effective, while at the same time very hard on the salesman.
I think they have to be getting at least some converts from going door to door, or they wouldn't be doing it. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:49:48 AM EDT
[#24]
Quoted: I live in an area that has lots of Mormons but they are not the majority. I've come to some conclusions: 1. They are mostly very good decent people. They are strongly patriotic and mostly conservatives. Many of my "militia" buddies at the range are LDS. 2. They are very self sufficient. They take care of themselves and each other. They are unlikely to ever be on welfare or take handouts. 3. They are NOT Christians. Even though they call themselves "The Church of Jesus Christ, Latter Day Saints". They DO NOT believe in the salvation of Christ. 4. They will ostracize you if you do not join their church. They will give you plenty of chance to join but if you don't they won't have anything to do with you. They won't even let their children play with your kids. All-in-all I'm nice to LDS members and treat them with respect but I do not want to join their cult. I feel sorry for them in that they will never know the real Peace of the Lord. 1. True 2. Also true 3. [b]BS[/b]. Though I can't speak for the truth of the church itself, or what it's founders intended, I don't understand how anyone can say that Mormons are not Christian. 4. Somewhat true... People are still human, no matter what religion they belong to. I'm considered an inactive member, I haven't gone to church since I was 16. I'm 22 now. I still have a few friends who are members... One of which in particular is a very good friend of mine, and has been off his mission for a few years now. We're still great friends regardless of the fact that I am very open about the fact that I do lots of things that would never fly in the church. For example, he bought me a cigar lighter with a built-in cutter for Christmas last year. Again, I'm not going to stand up and say that this is the one true religion, because I'm still very undecided about what I belive... However I can't sit by and let people say things that I know are completely untrue. ------- edited to fix bold tag. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:50:50 AM EDT
[#25]
So are Mormons not welcome here ?
Are they welcome at our shoots ? |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:54:34 AM EDT
[#26]
1. True
2. True 3. Fucking Anti-Mormon propaganda 4. Same as 3 |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 11:58:07 AM EDT
[#27]
Quoted: So are Mormons not welcome here ? Are they welcome at our shoots ? No they are not. While we are at it here is a list of undesirables not allowed at any shoots or events organized here: 1. ALL Muslims. 2. ALL Mormons. 3. ALL Buddhists. 4. Those of Middle Eastern descent (excluding Israelis) 5. Those of Japanese descent 6. Those of African descent 7. Libertarians 8. Democrats 9. Non-heterosexuals There are more and will be added soon. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 12:01:48 PM EDT
[#28]
Anybody is free and welcome to do what he/she likes, and I am just as free to dislike them for whatever reason.
So long as they don't get in my face.. or knock on my door, I won't return the favor. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 12:11:25 PM EDT
[#29]
Hey, I didn't say anything bad about them. I knew some really nice Mormon girls in high school, as a matter of fact. [:)] They just couldn't drink coke or smoke.
It's not so bad up here in NorCal. In fact, this was the first time anyone has come to the door in months, but you would think the kids would select a block for each pair, instead of having multiple kids hitting the same house more than once, like today. There's a hell of a lot more Mormons in SoCal. Those guys would hit us once a month sometimes. How many times should you have to put up with being interrupted? I wish I had a dollar for every time I've said "I'm Presbyterian, now leave me alone." |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 12:13:04 PM EDT
[#30]
John Browning was a Mormon. Even took off a year in his prime to be a missionary.
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Posted: 10/27/2002 12:15:22 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted: Quoted: So are Mormons not welcome here ? Are they welcome at our shoots ? No they are not. While we are at it here is a list of undesirables not allowed at any shoots or events organized here: 1. ALL Muslims. 2. ALL Mormons. 3. ALL Buddhists. 4. Those of Middle Eastern descent (excluding Israelis) 5. Those of Japanese descent 6. Those of African descent 7. Libertarians 8. Democrats 9. Non-heterosexuals There are more and will be added soon. Your joking right? |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 12:17:54 PM EDT
[#32]
This is what I did to get some JW folk to stop dropping bye:
My younger brother had taken some papers left bye some Jehovas witness people and they stopped by all the time, well he got tired of it and asked what he should do, well this is what we did, I had him lie down on the porch and I traced his outline with chalk, then took the pamplets they had left and scattered them around the porch, well that was early on a Sat morning and when they made the Sat. round of visits we were watching thru the window and when the walked up the steps and saw what was on the porch, they turned and left, aint been back since, course thats been about 10 yrs ago to. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 12:24:25 PM EDT
[#33]
When my wife worked nights, I made a small sign and laminated it and attached it to the front door at eye height. It said:
[b][center][size=3]PLEASE[/size=3] don't knock on the door or ring the bell. There are people asleep inside. If you're selling, we're not buying. If you're buying, we're not seling. If you're collecting, we gave at the office. If you're preaching, we're Pagan. [size=1][/b][i]The Goddess loves you, yes she does![/size=1][/i][b] At any rate, waking us up won't make you any [i]more[/i] popular. Pizza delivery always welcome. [size=1][/b](This message sponsored by Smith & Wesson, Makers of fine firearms since 1852. Hint, hint.)[/size=1] Worked really well. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 12:41:19 PM EDT
[#34]
My old boss married and estranged morman.
Recently they tracked them down. So now the mormons come over to harass them. He leaves stacks of playboy and penthouse out so they can be seen. Not to insult anyone's religion. But if they came to visit me, I'd get my guns, and a bottle of whiskey. Then answer the door "I'm Joe Smith, c'mon in we're waiting for the feds to show up" edited for history tidbit In Missouri law up untill 1976 it will legal to kill a mormon onsite. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 12:46:38 PM EDT
[#35]
Quoted: Hmmm, Mormons are (mostly) pro second amendment, are there other religions that are officially so? Sure, [b]Church of Christ[/b] folks are ardently pro RKBA, as are most Southern Baptists I know! Eric The(Cambellite)Hun[>]:)] |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 1:37:54 PM EDT
[#36]
Quoted: 3. [b]BS[/b]. Though I can't speak for the truth of the church itself, or what it's founders intended, I don't understand how anyone can say that Mormons are not Christian. Umm, because they believe that God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are three separate divine entities, rather than three persons of one single entity. Hypothetically, if the Holy Spirit would cease to exist, to a Mormon, its no big deal. To a Christian, it is the end of God. Because they believe that God the Father was once a mortal and sinful man, who through good works elevated himself and his family to the status of a Diety, was given dominion over his own planet, had sex with his wife to produce Jesus, who was sent to earth. Because they believe that if they and their entire families are Baptized in the fashion of the LDS Church and are married in their secret ceremony, and live a good Mormon life, they too will be elevated to Godhood and given their own world to govern as their own, just like God the Father did with our world. Those pretty much conflict very strongly with being a Christian. edited to add this link: [url=http://christiananswers.net/q-acb/acb-r002a.html]What are the differences between Mormonism and Christianity?[/url] for further information, with cited sources. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 1:58:34 PM EDT
[#37]
What's wrong with LDS? The fact that they are worried about your soul, is very kind and I will never bash someone for trying to help me. Be nice and either speak with them or don't. One of the main reasons AZ isn't as "Left" as CA has ALOT to do with "The Mormons". They are pro-family, pro-gun, Pro-constitution and as a whole are very industrious and take care of their own. Our future Gov. (I hope) Matt Salmon is LDS...
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:07:07 PM EDT
[#38]
Quoted: So are Mormons not welcome here ? Are they welcome at our shoots ? Depends on: 1)If they have a cool gun, and 2) if they let me shoot it. They are also welcome here as long as: 1)They have a cool gun, and 2) if they let me shoot it. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:09:11 PM EDT
[#39]
No they are not. While we are at it here is a list of undesirables not allowed at any shoots or events organized here: 1. ALL Muslims. 2. ALL Mormons. 3. ALL Buddhists. 4. Those of Middle Eastern descent (excluding Israelis) 5. Those of Japanese descent 6. Those of African descent 7. Libertarians 8. Democrats 9. Non-heterosexuals There are more and will be added soon. Your a punk. I see no need to be affiliated with a site or group of people that think like that in this day and age. Sounds like a whole lot of you are very uneducated about the LDS faith. I bet those of you that think the LDS people are not Christian listen to the crap your preacher spues on Sunday about how they are an EVIL CULT. HA WE are just as Christian as the next church. Our faith lies entierly on that fact that Christ is mankinds savior. I agree that you may get sick of missionarys comming to the door. Post A Sign! That would seem to solve the problem. Is it entirly impossible that people in South America also had Prophets and worshiped God? I would think if Christ walked and lived in the Middle East and there were also people on this continent at the same time he would not have forgotten them? Or would he not care about them? Maybe those of you that call yourselfs Christians should do a little research into what we beilieve and get your facts straight. For those of you that choose not religion.. good for you a least you got your facts straight and know what you want just please post a sign and stop bashing. When the SHTF you might want to be friends with us or move to UTAH. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:16:51 PM EDT
[#40]
Coming Up Soon! Bashing the Jehovah's Witness. Stay Tuned! [}:D]
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:17:09 PM EDT
[#41]
I agree with Garryowen, I've have a few very good friends who are Mormon, and they are very pro-gun. I have grown up and live in heavily Mormon country, and yes, some of things annoy me, but I sure wouldn't want them to think they weren't welcome here. They are pretty good neighbors. They didn't knock on my door as many times as the Baptists.
We don't need threads like this bashing everyone who doesn't believe the same religion as "we" do. I am disappointed with some of the remarks here. This is some of the same kinds of thoughts that brought us Muslim extremists and their terrorism. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:21:59 PM EDT
[#42]
Quoted: What's wrong with LDS? The fact that they are worried about your soul, is very kind and I will never bash someone for trying to help me. Be nice and either speak with them or don't. One of the main reasons AZ isn't as "Left" as CA has ALOT to do with "The Mormons". They are pro-family, pro-gun, Pro-constitution and as a whole are very industrious and take care of their own. Our future Gov. (I hope) Matt Salmon is LDS... Well said Shawn. I love it when the subject of religion, ANY RELIGION comes up, people feel the need to bash someone elses faith. How sad that these people are so insecure in their religion that they feel the need to boost their faith by trying to prove other religions wrong. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:29:07 PM EDT
[#43]
I currently work with two young mormons in their twenties. They are awesome. Great attitude, great work ethic, and even a great sense of humor when I refer to their religion as a cult.
In high school they always had the best looking women too. We get them at the door about once a year and leave quickly after a "not interested." |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:31:11 PM EDT
[#44]
A few years ago I invited a couple of LDS missionaries in after they had knocked on the door. We spoke at some length about their faith, but told them I wouldn't be interested because of their beliefs in personal exaltation to godhood. (And I didn't add, "..and who the heck would want more than one wife in this life or the next?") After we sort of disengaged from our religious conversation, I asked them where they were from. One was from Fairbanks and was an absolute "gun nut" like myself. I mentioned that I was also a gun enthusiast. The young guy from Fairbanks immediately asked if they could return the next day to see my collection and "talk guns". I figured they just wanted another chance to proselytize, but said "sure" anyway in the off chance that he really wanted to talk guns. Well, they showed-up the next day and we spent a half-hour or so talking about nothing but guns. I showed them my modest collection and we parted on friendly terms. (The missionary that wasn't quite the enthusiast was at least polite.)
In general I do not view Mormons as Christians (regardless of what their church is named) and consider their religion to be highly disingenuous when it purports to be "the restored" Church of Jesus Christ. However, I have two very good shootin' buddies who are Mormon and I appreciate their friendship even if I don't agree with their theology. Back to the main topic...a "do not disturb" or "no solicitations" sign out front ought to handle it. Kevin |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:41:51 PM EDT
[#45]
I'll be honest...I don't like the religion for many of the same reasons others already stated.
That said, I have many friends that are Mormons, and I also dated one back in high school. Generally, I enjoy being around them because they are such nice people (as long as religion doesn't come up). Do I judge them for what they believe? No. They are my friends, and friendship goes beyond that. "I will be my brother's keeper Not the one who judges him I won't despise him for his weakness I won't regard him for his strength I won't take away his freedom I will help him learn to stand" --Rich Mullins-- |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:47:13 PM EDT
[#46]
What ever happenend to good old Hari Krishna's, at least we only had to see them at the airport!
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:47:24 PM EDT
[#47]
There are two very important rights we all have and should remember:
1. Freedom OF Religion. 2. Freedom FROM Religion. Act accordingly. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 2:55:07 PM EDT
[#48]
Quoted: One of the main reasons AZ isn't as "Left" as CA has ALOT to do with "The Mormons". Could be, but they're still only 5.5% of your population, while they're only 1.8% of California's. Even if 5% of California's population were Mormon, I doubt it would make any difference. California has a way of liberalizing everyone and everything. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 3:05:35 PM EDT
[#49]
To repeat, this did not start off as a Mormon bashing thread. It started off as a rant, the result of three interruptions.
To be fair, once members of any faith start going door to door looking for converts, imposing their beliefs on others, they are open to jibing. If Catholics did it, they would deserve to be jibed too. As far as their faith, I'm not interested. I already have mine. |
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Posted: 10/27/2002 3:09:26 PM EDT
[#50]
I fucking hate Morons! Just about everyone living on my street is a fucking Moron. I can't stand them. They couldn't find their way out of a wet paper bag. Morons fucking piss me off.
Mormons on the other hand, I've never had a problem with. Had two friends in school that were Mormons. Both were very cool, but never interrupted me while downloading porn. That would cause a problem. |
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