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Posted: 9/16/2002 6:23:00 PM EDT
Here are the latest Darwin Awards, pretty funny stuff BLOWHOLE 2002 Darwin Award Nominee, Confirmed True June 2002, Hawaii | 18-year-old Daniel was vacationing with his family when he met three young women on a Hawaiian beach. Perhaps the company of the women addled his brain. Half an hour after meeting them, he was frolicking in a dangerous natural waterspout called the Halona Blowhole: a rock funnel formation that shoots seawater twenty feet into the air. A locked gate keeps people away from the stairs to the blowhole, and a warning sign proclaims, "Hazardous Conditions. Do Not Go Beyond This Point." A local comedian has placed a skull labeled "Boneyard Reef" on the warning sign. However, the area can be reach by climbing the rocks from beaches on either side. Witnesses said that Daniel walked right by them on his way to the blowhole, and they warned him to stay away. He kept going, climbing over the rocky shelves to reach the hole shortly before 3pm. He was overheard to say he wanted to feel the water hit his chest. Thirty seconds later his wish was granted. Dozens of people watched in amazement from a highway overlook while he straddled the blowhole, arms outstretched, laughing while spray washed over him. Then a large wave hit the rocks, and a blast of water launched him five feet into the air and dropped him headfirst into the blowhole According to firefighter Todd Hugo, who attempted to locate the body while tied to a safety rope, the blowhole narrows then opens up eight feet down. "You could tell when a wave was coming in. There was a kind of humming sound." Divers recovered Daniel’s body the next day. It was the fourth time a victim has been swept into the blowhole since 1927. Two men died in 1969 and 1986, and one man survived in 1967. "I can't understand the mindset," said Fire Chief James Arciero. Daniel's female companions were seen being comforted by a young man wearing a T-shirt that read, "Every day, death is near." REFERENCE: Honolulu Advertiser SHORT ARM OF THE LAW 2002 Honorable Mention, Confirmed True May 2002, Pakistan | Usually it's the criminal, not the judge, who attempts to take himself out of the gene pool. But not in this twist of a familiar tale! A man accused of possessing a hand grenade challenged police to produce it at his trial. When the police brought the grenade into the courtroom, the defendant claimed it was not real. The judge absentmindedly took the grenade in his hand while listening to arguments -- and pulled the pin! He was injured, but survived, no doubt with improved judgment. BEER 'n DEER Personal Account June 2002, Georgia | An EMT in southern Georgia was part of the unit that responded to a call from Coffee County late one night. They arrived on the scene and found a severely injured man lying at the edge of a field. His stomach had been completely torn open, and he was covered with lacerations and bruises. He also had a prominent tire tread across his chest. The injured man's companion showed up in a racing model ATV vehicle, clearly intoxicated, and gave the following account. Imagine this tale being recited in a deep Georgian accent. He and his injured friend had been drinkin' and ridin' around the field on the three-wheeled ATV, when they sighted a stand of deer in their headlights. The friend, riding the back as a passenger, was struck with a great idea. "Hey man," he said, "If you quarter off one a those deer, betcha I can bulldog 'im." The driver thought this was an entertaining idea, so he proceeded to isolate a buck and race him down. His intoxicated passenger proceeded to leap from the ATV, grab the buck by the antlers, and perform an excellent example of this rodeo sport. He pinned the animal's head to the ground, but that's when things went wrong. The buck, less docile than a steer, simply got up, threw his head back, and tore his assailant's belly open. The deer then proceeded to stomp, kick, and butt him for good measure. The EMTs noticed that this information accounted all of the injuries except one. When they asked the driver about the tire track across his injured friend's chest, he responded: "Well how else was I s'posed to git the deer off 'im?" I don't know which is worse: a drunk moron trying wrestle a grown male deer like a steer, or a drunk moron who runs over his injured friend to scare away the righteously angered animal.
Link Posted: 9/16/2002 6:31:37 PM EDT
[b][size=5]Uh... huh,huh... Uh... Huh,Huh,huh.... Uh.... What? huh,huh... [/b][/size=5]....... [:d]
Link Posted: 9/16/2002 7:00:24 PM EDT
Love these things !!
Link Posted: 9/16/2002 7:08:21 PM EDT
God bless those who manage to make the Darwin Awards. Awful kind of them, taking themselves out of the gene pool. Saves the rest of us the trouble.
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