Well, as school has started again so has the kids and bullies. Tonight at the football game one of the local bullies jumped on my 12 year old boy for the second time this year, third time total. This time Chris came back with bruises and a sore neck. So I have to ask advice.

   As this is a school sponsored event, what is thier responsibility for keeping the peace?

   What can a person do about a kid when thier parents refuse to control the child? I think in divorces papers are served to keep one party away from the other, but is this done with kids?

  I really think it is time to persue self defense classes for my kid, but what would be the best? Some kind of martial arts? Boxing? Should I get lawyers involved?

  Any ideas or advice would be welcomed. Thanks... fullclip

The only advice I feel comfortable giving you is to talk to a local lawyer familiar with your state's laws.

I would speculate that a letter to the school identifying the problem kid by name and with specific references to the events and injuries would get their attention.

We've got a high profile local case where a mom is suing a school after calling it to their attention.

Also locally, there are actions for failure to control your own kids, a negligent supervision, IIRC, I worked on such a case about 12 years ago, it revolved around the allegations that one kid constantly picked on everybody else and the parents knew it, then one kid got hurt and boom, lawsuit.

Talk to a local guy, he should give you enough time to tell you whether or not he's interested, but I can tell you without serious injuries there's probably not enough money in it to be worth his time.

Hey [b]fullclip[/b], there are plenty of legal ways to approach this problem, peace bonds, restraining orders, complaints, etc., but they are not always what you hope them to be!

And being in a small town, it has the added factor of being known by one and all.

It might be that your son will not find this solution satisfactory just because of the added attention it might bring to the situation.

Depending upon the age and size differences between your sons and these riff-raff, you may simply suggest to the boys that maybe they would likt to try on some boxing gloves and have at it, one on one.

But before you do that, use the gloves to spar with your son, to teach him the ins and outs of fist fights. You'll know when he's ready.

Or maybe you can get him interested in martial arts. Some boys are, some aren't.

If he is interested, or becomes interested, then great. If he's not interested, consider the boxing gloves.

The school has a great responsibility for any fighting that occurs on its grounds, or at its sponsored events. You run the same problem with brining it up at the school, as you do in getting the authorities involved - unwanted attention to the problem in a very small school. It could be that the end result is worse for you son than the present situation.

Talk to your son about it and get his input on the problem, asking him if he'd like to learn a little boxing, or see if he's interested in the martial arts.

Then ask him about the school, as well.

We all know that this is just a rite of passage of all young boys, and will pass in time.

That will be of no comfort to your son while he is going through the rite of passage!

Good luck! Keep us informed of what occurs next!

Eric The(Serious)Hun[>]:)]

  To add a little to the story, I just got off the phone with the school principal, he called this late at night,happy to say. Seems he and the football coach witnessed the fight and assured me that the proper actions would be taken at school tomorrow. Chris did not start the fight, but he may have gotten the best end of it.

  Still, the thought of self defense remains. What world be the best forms of martial arts for a kid? Are they all basically the same or is there a big difference? Then again, this may be better on a thread of its own. I may do that. Anyway, thanks for the advice and for letting me rant. ... fullclip

Okay, first I have to say that I'm no expert so take my opinion with that in mind.  I really believe that boxing has a lot going for it, particularly in the beginning stages.  

First, with boxing your son is going to learn how to throw a punch with force.  He'll learn what it feels like to actually hit somebody with a full punch.  In Tae Kwon Do (at least from what I've seen and experienced), your son will be doing stretching, tension exercises, and learning katas to advance to the next belt.  He will also spar with others, but punches and kicks will be "pulled", at least to start with.

Second, in boxing your son will learn how to take a punch and keep fighting.  In contrast, sparring in Tae Kwon Do in the beginning will be little more than taps to the body and head/face.

How would your son react in a real fight if he gets hit full-on in the body or face when all he has experienced is a pulled punch or kick?

Again, I'm no expert and I'm not trying to put down martial arts.  I just feel that boxing "translates" better to the real world than some forms of the martial arts, especially at that age.

And remember, doing anything is better than doing nothing.

Document, Document, Document

(If you have witnesses; that's a benny;) then go to the states attorney in your area and file for juvenile complaint / petition (If the offender is a juvenile - Here in IL. 17 is the age for criminal conduct as an adult.) Once it's investigated by the proper agency it's referred to adjudication based on the merits and (witnesses in the hip pocket,) your kids punk ass tormentor will have the beginnings of a nice long record of his bullshit.

I remember the old days from high school and NOBODY ever messed with the known BOXERS. Everyone knew they could take a punch and deliver it back at ya, just a little harder. Start with boxing to get a foundation, then incorporate a level of street fighting. Most fair street fights only last two minutes max, so a good pair of lungs and heart do wonders (exercise). Or just teach him to takem to the ground efficiently and the bullies will tire out and give up. Your boy will win cuz it looked like he whipped butt with minimum effort.

fullclip,

where do you live?  This can have a big impact on what your son can and/or should learn.  If you live in a small town far from say Dallas or FtWorth or Houston, etc.  Probably, TaekwonDo will be the only way to go.  If so MAKE SURE the school is not a buy a belt school.  Sometimes there is Judo in small towns.  If so, I would pick it(in a small town.) It has locks and throws and the like which are DEFENSIVE.  That way your son would be less likely to be acccused of being an aggressor in future incidents.
If you are near a big city you can have your pick the one's I have most faith in are Jun Fan Jeet Kune Do (bruce lee's martial art there are links to reputable jfjkd school at www.martial-way.com/search/jeetkunedo.html)and Judo or Jiujitsu (the Army Rangers currently use Brazilian Jiujitsu as their way)

TS  [X]

In the early '60 I had a series of incidents over the course of a week when I was maybe 10, a kid a head taller in the next grade started picking on me.  I wouldn't respond, would keep on walking.   Taunts and pushes, arm punches.  Knocked me down on the third day, tore a hole in my knee and that pissed me off.  I stood up, bent over, and as I raised up fast put everthing I had behind a left, which connected with his right cheek and put him on his ass.  He sat there, open mouthed and wide eyed, and I walked away.  He never did anything else, nor did he mention the incident again, even to this day.

Last year my daughter was singled out by the class female "walking mouth" who would pick apart anything my daughter said, wore, or did.  She tried to reason with the antagonist who craves the attention she competes with nine siblings for at home.  At one point during a recess it came to shoves, my daughter loudly warned the girl three times to "stop or I'll hit you" and the fourth time she hauled off and slugged the gal.  The teacher and some of the class heard/witnessed the exchange and the teacher finally had to stop ignoring it and get involved, but in the event my daughter was not disciplined by the principal due to 1)not starting the conflict and giving more than enough notice to knock it off, and 2) the antagonist's reputation for this sort of behavior.  There have been no further incidents.

I'd recommend instructing your son in some boxing moves and when the time comes that your son and the antagonist are alone and he starts picking on your son, he can do something right then to stop it, and begin to make his "schoolyard" reputation as "not an easy pick" and one to leave alone.

Noah

Boxing and Judo made me really tough to hurt or put down.  I was picked on constantly (white ass, piss head, whitey...) and constantly stalked the lead bully and had it one on one with him, winning every time.  (Including a 6'6" 380 pound black guy named Chuck)

Boxing will teach him how to hit and be hit.  Judo will teach him what to do when they end up on the floor like any fight eventually does.  Judo also tightens every muscle in the body, since you are taking many many many falls and landing on your back.  Advanced Judo classes teach enough for you to kill/incapacitate your enemy.

Legally, put the school on notice that if they cannot maintain the safety and security of your son that you will sue them civily for injuries to your son.  Make sure the principal knows he will be named personally for his failure. You might also ask the principal to have counseling sessions for both boys to see what the underlying problem is.  You never know, there might be some serious problems with the other kid that should come to the attention of his parents.  Or your kid might have slipped dog shit in his Coke!