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Posted: 8/30/2002 1:18:47 PM EDT
Cowboy Bravado Three cowboys - one from Louisiana, one from Arkansas, and the other from Texas are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which they are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The guy from Louisiana says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, with my bare hands." The guy from Arkansas couldn't stand to be bested. "Why, I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot long rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands and bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today!" The Texan remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis. [8D]
Link Posted: 8/30/2002 1:43:22 PM EDT
Now you [b]KNOW[/b] that's a lie. Hell, there ain't enough wood on the prarie to make a bed of coals big enough to be stirred by a Texan's penis, that feller would've just smothered the fire. Then again, maybe if it was real, real cold, a bit of shrinkage might have taken place.
Link Posted: 8/30/2002 1:44:18 PM EDT
ROFL! Never heard that one before....very funny! medcop
Link Posted: 8/30/2002 1:50:30 PM EDT
I never liked Texas, to many Bushes if you know what I mean. Bill C. [smoke]
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 5:26:05 AM EDT
kind of reminds of me one i heard: Q: What's the last thing the redneck said before he died? A: Watch this.
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 5:44:59 AM EDT
A true redneck would have said "Hold my beer, and watch this". Aviator [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Aviator%2Faviator%2Egif[/img]
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 7:50:21 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DPeacher: Now you [b]KNOW[/b] that's a lie. Hell, there ain't enough wood on the prarie to make a bed of coals big enough to be stirred by a Texan's penis, that feller would've just smothered the fire. Then again, maybe if it was real, real cold, a bit of shrinkage might have taken place.
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True dat! You know, when my son was born I bought everyone a round of beer in the bar across the street from the hospital. They asked why and I told them my wife had just given birth to a 12 lb. baby boy! A few weeks later I went back in and the bartender asked me how heavy my son was (he remembered me from paying the $370 tab). I told him 8 lbs. He asked me why my son had dropped his weight so drastically. I told him, "Well we had him circumsized, of course."
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 8:26:59 PM EDT
You sure it wasn't a enema? that will make a lot of Texans lose weight fast! Bob [:D]
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 8:30:53 PM EDT
If you give a Texan an enema you better be in North Dakota when he lets loose.
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 8:35:24 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Sukebe: If you give a Texan an enema you better be in North Dakota when he lets loose.
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Where did THAT come from??? LOL
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 8:52:26 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Sukebe: If you give a Texan an enema you better be in North Dakota when he lets loose.
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Yer darn toot'n! Heck, they ran me outta Missouri when I was 18 'cause I was makin' the mules blush every time I had to take a piss.[:D]
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 8:55:16 PM EDT
Wyoming cowboy and a Texas cowboy are out riding fences when they come along a ewe with her head stuck in a fence. The Wyoming cowboy runs down and bangs the ewe. He then gets back up on his horse and says to the Texan " What you don't want some of this?" So the Texan jumps off his horse runs down and sticks his head in the fence.
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 8:56:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By bobbyjack: You sure it wasn't a enema? that will make a lot of Texans lose weight fast! Bob [:D]
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[:D]Now Bobby, you know it's not that the wind is always blow'n here in Texas, it's just that Oklahoma sucks! [:D][:D][:D]
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 8:58:08 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Sparky: Wyoming cowboy and a Texas cowboy are out riding fences when they come along a ewe with her head stuck in a fence. The Wyoming cowboy runs down and bangs the ewe. He then gets back up on his horse and says to the Texan " What you don't want some of this?" So the Texan jumps off his horse runs down and sticks his head in the fence.
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Damn.........but that was funny!!
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 9:12:48 PM EDT
OK, I swear I've lost ten IQ points just for clicking on this thread.
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 9:17:55 PM EDT
And ya know why Texans aren't circumsised ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . So they have a place to put their chew when brushing their teeth. {:D]
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 9:23:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/31/2002 9:29:34 PM EDT by smarty_pants]
No Cowboys in Louisiana and Arkansas,just hicks with really big hats.[:|] Anyway if you put you wee-wee in a fire your pee would become steam and blow your ass off.[rolleyes]
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 9:27:24 PM EDT
Originally Posted By William_J_Clinton: I never liked Texas, to many Bushes if you know what I mean. Bill C. [smoke]
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William Jefferson Clinton, now isn't THAT the biggest prick you've ever seen?
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 10:30:52 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Grock: Cowboy Bravado Three cowboys - one from Louisiana, one from Arkansas, and the other from Texas are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which they are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The guy from Louisiana says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, with my bare hands." The guy from Arkansas couldn't stand to be bested. "Why, I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot long rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands and bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today!" The Texan remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis. [8D]
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Saw this joke in a mid 70's EasyRider mag. The cowboys were bikers and the fire stirrer was a HD rider...
Link Posted: 8/31/2002 10:48:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Sparky: Wyoming cowboy and a Texas cowboy are out riding fences when they come along a ewe with her head stuck in a fence. The Wyoming cowboy runs down and bangs the ewe. He then gets back up on his horse and says to the Texan " What you don't want some of this?" So the Texan jumps off his horse runs down and sticks his head in the fence.
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Almost sprayed some beverage on the keyboard that time. Haha
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