Sponsor an MLB player during these tough strike times

Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before
in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous
adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars
overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price
plunges,
droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both
great and small.

But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest
challenge yet. Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very
own
nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the
seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they
could
be deprived of their life-giving pay for several months, possibly
longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation.

But you can help!

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the
cost
of a large-screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain
economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no
means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum
salary,
but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball
player it could mean the difference between spending the strike
golfing
in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred
dollars
is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two
unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA. But
to
a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy
that
home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new
Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k),
real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.
Plus,
upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo
of
the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the
Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put
the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples'
suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
wants
to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name,
he
will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator
in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is
checked
below:

[ ] Infielder
[ ] Outfielder
[ ] Starting Pitcher
[ ] Ace Pitcher
[ ] Entire team
(Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team -
$10
per minute)
[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player
for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the
player
I
have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and
my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my
hat
(include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________
Telephone Number: ____________________
Account Number: _____________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express
[ ] Discover
Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account
Number: _____________________Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express
[ ] Discover
Signature: _______________________

Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-SCREW-THE-FANS
now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).

Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have
sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not
limited
to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Contributions
are not tax-deductible.

David A Carey
aka: Hot Pepper Dave
Spotweld Department - Days

Well just Damn.
That's all I got to say.

ROTFLMAO! [:D]