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Posted: 8/9/2002 9:53:47 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 9:57:14 AM EDT
He should have saved time and money by avioding the Emergency Room and heading for Taco Bell instead![:\]
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 10:20:22 AM EDT
While definitely disturbing and gross, it reminds me of late nights listening to the "Loveline" radio show broadcast out of the LA area that had Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla. Every now and then they'd talk about the wierd things that doctors would remove from people's butts, not going to go into detail about all of them but one of the more disgusting/amazing things was one of those smaller peanut butter jars.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 10:27:40 AM EDT
ROTFLMAO! He declined an evaluation? 5150 that c***s**ker! He is definitely a danger to himself.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 10:32:35 AM EDT
Originally Posted By operatorerror: ROTFLMAO! 5150 that c***s**ker!
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ROTFLMAO! Nice pun. But in all seriousness, no joke.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 10:43:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/9/2002 10:44:56 AM EDT by eurotrash]
rectal foreign bodies: [url]http://www.well.com/user/cynsa/newbutt.html[/url] note the artillery shell x-ray
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 11:04:18 AM EDT
Originally Posted By uglygun:
Originally Posted By operatorerror: ROTFLMAO! 5150 that c***s**ker!
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ROTFLMAO! Nice pun. But in all seriousness, no joke.
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I believe it. I've seen the X-rays and heard the stories. My first EMT instructor was an RN and she familiarized us with this type of "stuff" as part of the course. In my years as a medic I've seen and heard of things you wouldn't believe.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 11:07:11 AM EDT
Castrate it. Don't let it reproduce.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 11:56:08 AM EDT
Originally Posted By garandman: Castrate it. Don't let it reproduce.
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Uh....Think about what you just said. It's GAY. I don't think reproducing is real high on his list. [stick] [;)]
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 11:58:47 AM EDT
Now, how the hell did a ping-pong ball get up there?
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 12:15:23 PM EDT
What's the old saw? "Dull as dishwater?" I guess I'm a dull old fart, because I've never had even an inkling of desire to stick anything up my butt.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 12:15:39 PM EDT
He probably used the ping pong ball as a stop for the concrete. Knew a doc that had to fish a HUGE dildo out of a guy's ass. When he was done this assbandit asked if he could have it back - cuz it was his favorite. The request was denied.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 12:16:19 PM EDT
Originally Posted By uglygun: ...it reminds me of late nights listening to the "Loveline" radio show broadcast out of the LA area that had Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla....
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I used to work overnights and listen to Adam and Drew. I will never forget the night some guy called in and asked them if it was normal to freeze his feces and then use it later as a rectal dildo for anal stimulation while masturbating. He stated that nothing else would bring him to climax except for his own frozen dookie wrapped in a condom. Dead air for at least 20 seconds..... I lost it.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 12:27:04 PM EDT
Hey, there was a new word for me to use in a flame...KLISMAPHILLIAC And the Ping Pong ball...wasn't that enough????
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 12:36:03 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 12:40:52 PM EDT
Originally Posted By BenDover: I used to work overnights and listen to Adam and Drew. I will never forget the night some guy called in and asked them if it was normal to freeze his feces and then use it later as a rectal dildo for anal stimulation while masturbating. He stated that nothing else would bring him to climax except for his own frozen dookie wrapped in a condom. Dead air for at least 20 seconds..... I lost it.
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I lost it, too! Day-um that is FUNNY!!! [:D]
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 12:42:37 PM EDT
Originally Posted By eurotrash: rectal foreign bodies: [url]http://www.well.com/user/cynsa/newbutt.html[/url]
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DUDE! They've actually got the X-Ray and a photo of the.... um..... er..... [i]recovered mass[/i].... on that site! [b]OUCH![/b] Geez, and then they want to be treated as equals?
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 12:49:50 PM EDT
From the website:
What follows is not for the weak of stomach. For starters, an awful lot of stuff has been found where that gerbil was found. The medical journals list, among other things, the following astonishing array: A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a nine-inch zucchini, countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles, a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, two Vaseline jars, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a teacup, an oil can, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and much, much more.
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Now THAT must have been ONE FAT ASS! Also from the site:
In 1955 one man who was "feeling depressed" reportedly inserted a six-inch paper tube into his rectum, dropped in a lighted firecracker, and blew a hole in his anterior rectal wall. This changed his mood real quick. A live (artillery) shell, which needed careful handling.
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ROTFLMAO! Seriously, though. How sick can these pole-smoking creeps be? [puke]
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 1:09:34 PM EDT
Originally Posted By BenDover: I used to work overnights and listen to Adam and Drew. I will never forget the night some guy called in and asked them if it was normal to freeze his feces and then use it later as a rectal dildo for anal stimulation while masturbating. He stated that nothing else would bring him to climax except for his own frozen dookie wrapped in a condom. Dead air for at least 20 seconds..... I lost it.
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I once called into that show to talk to Adam for awhile cause he was a fairly cool guy, they also had the cast of Mad TV on the show and I wanted to talk to them too. Well, I'm holding on the line and listening to the current caller. He's sitting there talking about how he likes to eat cabbage(LOTS of it) and then wear diapers until he messes himself silly, ofcourse that's a turn on for this fruit loop and he's calling in and asking if it's normal and wondering why his girlfriend isn't into the dookie play. Well, I'm totally in shock as well as everyone else. Guess what? Right after they hung up with the poop-fiend they switched over to me, I must have been the lamest call in the world cause I was still hammered by Mr. Doodie. I stopped listening some time back, but I heard some of the strangest stuff on that show. Can only hope and pray that it was a sick joke or prank call. As for the story I talked about with the jar up the person's butt, it's on that site also. I recall the part about them having to pour plaster into the open jar with a bent bar down in the bottom of it, once it set they then had a proper handle for yanking it out of there. [I]WONDERFUL[/I]
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 1:56:58 PM EDT
My high school buddy's dad was a surgeon and he told us about some funny incidents: light bulb, peanut butter jar, etc. One guy came in to the ER wearing only a bathrobe. His sphincter had involuntarily contracted around the handle of a screwdriver (the screwdriver blade was sticking out his rear end). He had "slipped in the shower" onto the screwdriver. Another friend was a med school resident who participated in the extraction of a sprouting potato from a female patient.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 2:09:18 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 2:12:20 PM EDT
Must have been some of those "people" that post on DemocraticUnderground. I guess they got tired of gerbils.[puke]
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 2:32:32 PM EDT
They should have sewn it shut and sent him out the door..........
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 3:15:14 PM EDT
I'm gonna have to go with OUCH on this one.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 3:36:06 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 5:14:40 PM EDT
What I'm wondering is weather this guy got to keep the "perfect concrete cast" of his a**hole? That'd be a hell of a conversation piece on the mantle.
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 5:30:35 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 6:04:12 PM EDT
What's up with the light bulbs. They might as well just stick a knife up their butts. Just imagine if it broke up in there. You'll need colostomy bags for the rest of your life after the MD's remove your colon. As for the cement, maybe that guy was preparing his "ass" for county jail?!?
Link Posted: 8/9/2002 6:51:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/9/2002 6:54:35 PM EDT by SSD]
Originally Posted By eurotrash: rectal foreign bodies: [url]http://www.well.com/user/cynsa/newbutt.html[/url] note the artillery shell x-ray
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and, [url]www.well.com/user/cynsa/april/smgunxray.jpg[/url] Hope this one didn't hicup. SSD
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