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Posted: 8/6/2002 5:10:08 PM EDT
Okay, this is kind of a weird situation. My girlfriend has no problem with gun ownership, and doesn't mind at all if I have them. She also is very pro-self defense, enjoys shooting pistol, and has become more pro-gun just from being around me in general. Obviously, none of the above is a problem. Next year, we're planning on find a place to live together, and she still doesn't mind the guns, but she wants them all locked... and she doesn't want any of the keys. I've tried telling her that she wouldn't be able use them to defend herself, but she just shrugs off that argument and says she'll use her liner-lock if there's trouble. I asked her why she doesn't want access to any of the guns, and she basically doesn't trust herself with them! What can I do? I mean, it's certainly not the end of the world if I have to keep them locked up, but it would inhibit my access to a gun in a self defense scenario. Advice, anyone?
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 5:12:48 PM EDT
She is being honest with you. She is saying she has problems with control and/or anger. Look elsewhere for your life partner, but be grateful for her kind warning.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 5:17:37 PM EDT
I am 100 percent with Happyshooter on this one. She knows it's a potential problem for her, and she's trying to avoid it. It is a little sad that she is like that, but she's obviously adult enough to try to avoid the possibility of doing something she'll regret.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 5:20:39 PM EDT
Yep, the very last thing you want to do is put yourself at risk because a sheep wants it that way. That's really harsh for me to say, but shes not worth your life in that way...Maybe jumping into a burning building to save her, but not by locking up your stuff. Women are crazy...and from all experiences evil... I don't think you need to dump her on the corner, but hold off moving in...
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 5:35:24 PM EDT
if's she's really cool, keep her and lock up the peashooters, assuming you live in a relatively safe area. or maybe negotiate to keep just one 'ready' weapon. i'd have no problem keeping my guns locked to make an otherwise fully qualified female feel at ease, because for me, those females are rare. assuming i lived in a safe area. if i still lived in detroit, city of, i'd tell her the 12 guage stays loaded and deal with it, otherwise, there is the door. as long as she doesn't want you to get rid your guns, it seems like a liveable situation.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 5:45:30 PM EDT
Dont move in and DONT GET MARRIED until you are completely happy in this area. My last girlfriend was a complete phsyco when it came to guns. She was ticked that I had them and didnt think that people should be allowed to own anything like that. So I dumped her and moved on. I started dating another girl and it got serious and I proposed to her. We got onto the subject of guns and she said that she didnt want them in the house. I told her that guns are a part of who I am and if thats not acceptable we cant get married. She thought for a few minutes and told me that its ok to have them in the house I just need to make sure that our kids (when we have them) couldnt get into them. Since then we got married and I have aquired a decent collection. She bought herself a defensive handgun and loves to shoot.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 5:51:58 PM EDT
What does she mean by SHE DOESN't TRUST HERSELF. Will she use it on you or herself? Does she get depressed or have bad PMS? You need to find out about that.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 6:43:19 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 6:45:20 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 6:53:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/6/2002 6:54:17 PM EDT by eswanson]
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 6:54:20 PM EDT
If you do end up moving in with her maybe you oughta lock up the knives too...if she's so scared of using the guns on her. And hide the pills. In fact go to her house and check her medicine cabinet...maybe she's psychotic and you don't know it yet?!?
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 7:17:56 PM EDT
Tell her you will lock them up after you have kids and then cut your balls off.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 7:24:47 PM EDT
Originally Posted By eswanson: Something is very wrong with this picture. She enjoys shooting, but doesn't trust herself to have access to a gun in the house? Run, don't walk, away from this one.
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Couldent have said it better myself.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 7:55:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By elvez: negotiate to keep just one 'ready' weapon.
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Life is full on compromises. Use common sense when negeotiating and never hit where a bruise will show.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 7:57:07 PM EDT
Find out why she doesn't trust herself around unlocked firearms; then dump her.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 8:05:39 PM EDT
hmmmm...doesn't trust herself around your unsecured guns... be afraid, be very afraid. And don't worry about not having them available in a self defense scenario, worry about what SHE is doing with them while you are in the shower.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 9:51:51 PM EDT
Sounds like she has a problem. One that you'll inherit when you start living together.
Link Posted: 8/6/2002 11:20:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/6/2002 11:24:30 PM EDT by GodBlessTexas]
Originally Posted By edpmedic: What does she mean by SHE DOESN't TRUST HERSELF. Will she use it on you or herself? Does she get depressed or have bad PMS? You need to find out about that.
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It's the sheeple mentality that has been bred into people. Guns are evil and cause people to do bad things, or at least that's what they try to drill into people. If you have to lock up the guns, then you better lock up the kitchen knives, household tools, and other such potentially dangerous items if you can't trust her with your guns. I'd be honest with her and ask her what she means by not trusting herself. Then explain to her that if you can't trust her with your guns, how can you trust her with the above items or her knife? While she's being an adult about it, and her honesty is to be comended, her attitude is a bad sign. If she can't trust herself, how can you find it in your heart to trust her? My wife wants my pistols either on me, locked up, or at least out of the reach of our children, which I have no problems with. The guns are always within reach by us while not accessible to our kids. Granted, our pistols are stored loaded but with no rounds in the chamber and my 3 year old could not manipulate the slide on any of my pistols, I can accept a little bit of female irrationality in that area. Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas...
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 12:43:30 AM EDT
Okay, talked to the girlfriend about it per the advice of several of you. I asked if I could leave one gun out for defensive purposes, she said that's fine. I asked why she didn't trust herself, she said that she'd never use one in anger (except in self defense), but she was afraid that one day she might be really depressed and be tempted to commit suicide. She has no past history of depression or suicidal tendencies, so I guess she's not that worried, but to paraphrase her words "it just seems like a gun would be too easy". I really don't know why she's worried (I'm not, suicide is the last thing I can picture her doing), I guess I can chalk it up to random irrationality?
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 12:49:58 AM EDT
Originally Posted By minion82: I really don't know why she's worried (I'm not, suicide is the last thing I can picture her doing), I guess I can chalk it up to random irrationality?
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More like she has thought about it. Guns aren't that easy to anybody who has actually considered suicide. If she doesn't trust herself, that's because she sees a gun as a potential source of painkilling (literally). Leave her. I'm not joking buddy. If she thinks that she can't trust herself not to commit suicide around guns it's because she is potentially a very unstable person.
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 6:50:42 AM EDT
Correct me if I am wrong...but if i recall correctly, most women will not commit a brutal suicide. They tend to go for pills etc. Whereas males tend to try and leave an ugly corpse....
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 6:52:35 AM EDT
dump her.
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 6:55:24 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 7:00:49 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Happyshooter: [b]She is saying she has problems with control and/or anger.[/b]
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No Doubt! Sounds like she could tweek and become a potential bobitizer! Good Luck!
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 7:19:15 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Happyshooter: She is being honest with you. She is saying she has problems with control and/or anger. Look elsewhere for your life partner, but be grateful for her kind warning.
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Good advice! In other words.... RUN.... DON'T WALK!!!
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 7:27:54 AM EDT
Originally Posted By thecleaner: dump her.
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[b]i say again, dump her![/b]
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 7:30:39 AM EDT
I think you should lock her up instead. Shok
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 8:05:16 AM EDT
better take away her knife, car keys, etc....suicide happens regardless of the tool do it now "FOR HER SAFETY!!!"
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 8:24:42 AM EDT
Originally Posted By minion82: ...but she was afraid that one day she might be really depressed and be tempted to commit suicide.
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minion82, my wife didn't have any prior tendencies towards suicide when I married her either, but over the past few years she's made several statements about doing it. Usually when someone talks about suicide they won't actually do it, they're just looking for help. But I never know if I'll come home some day and find her cold. So, if I was you, I'd take a hard look and have some deep discussions about her fears before making any long term commitments. You've essentially been warned ahead of time....you're lucky.
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 9:34:18 AM EDT
She probably is a 36-24-36 but everytime she eats a non fat-free cookie she looks in the mirror and feels like she is 400 pounds, and thus ponders just ending it all. Be careful, personal experience with this. Chicks are crazy, she has some self-esteem problem if she has mentioned suicide. Maybe you don't want her to have access to guns.
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 9:49:04 AM EDT
RUN
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 9:53:49 AM EDT
Irrationality, thy name is woman! Seriously, she does sound irrational. What the hell does she mean she doesn't trust herself? What's she afraid of? More importantly, what should YOU be afraid of? (I know, bad grammar) Get a more clear explanation or don't make the move. YOU should not trust her now.
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 10:21:22 AM EDT
I need to see a pic before I say "dump her", because hotness is inversely proportional to the female BS you must tolerate. Seriously, it is good that she knows this about herself, but it is something you should workout BEFORE moving in with her. Do not write it off as just her PMSing, she probably felt your concern and backed off of her statement. Which does not mean she changed her feelings.
Link Posted: 8/7/2002 11:54:27 AM EDT
I dunno, I'm not inclined to just dump her at the corner over this. This seems like a solvable issue to me. It's not like we've been going out for two weeks, we've been together for almost a year. We tend to find the same activites fun, we share a few friends, she's pleasant, has a sense of humor, likes guns, likes my cooking (I enjoy cooking), hates communists, dislikes hippies, isn't crazy or tempermental, is quite loyal, and, to top it all off, is really really attractive. It's not easy to find those qualities all in one package, and in someone who also happens to like me. Unless her problems get worse, I can't see us breaking up over this; I'd much rather work it out. Mistergreens, she's pretty petite, but I've never seen her eat a salad when there's meat to be had. If she has self esteem problems, they don't stem from food. mejames, I'll see if I can rustle up a picture. I'm a patient man, I can take a lot of BS ;)
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