[blue]edited to add..I swiped this from another board. I thought it was  great.[/blue]
[center]
                         In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural
                         Southerner's mind, the following list will be handed
                         to each person as they enter a Southern State.

                         1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work
                         before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

                         2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow
                         you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator.
                         Drive it or get it out of the way.

                         3. The red dirt - it's called clay. Red clay. If
                         you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple
                         weeks - it'll be permanent. The big lumps of it - they're
                         called "clods."

                         4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were
                         seven years old. Yeah, we shot Bambi. We got over it.

                         5. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about
                         our women will get you whipped...by our women.

                         6 . Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod.
                         Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the
                         handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout
                         you fish for... bait.

                         7. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

                         8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your
                         nose and whatevers, and wear your hair long- go right
                         ahead - but if we call you ma'am, don't be offended.

                         9. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards
                         are making their final approach, we will shoot it.
                         You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at
                         the time.

                         10. That's right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can
                         buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one
                         drink.

                         11. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu.
                         Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the
                         Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and
                         turkey.

                         12. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass
                         over ice and is sweet. You want it hot - sit it in
                         the sun. You want it un-sweetened - add a lot of water.

                         13. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown,
                         wet, and served over ice.

                         14. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're
                         real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar
                         combine that we only use two weeks a year.

                        [/center]

[center]15. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight
                         in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop
                         when it's yellow.

                         16. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because
                         they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that
                         cute.

                         17. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray
                         before we eat (yeah, even breakfast), we go to church
                         on Wednesdays and Sundays, we go to high school
                         football games on Friday nights, we still address our
                         seniors with 'yes sirs' and 'yes ma'ams', and we
                         sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see
                         friends and neighbors.

                         18. We don't do "hurry up" well.

                         19. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt
                         on them. You boil them with either salty fatback or a
                         ham hock.

                         20. Yeah, we eat catfish , bass, bream, and carp ,
                         too. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at
                         the bait shop.

                         21. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get
                         over it. Don't like it? Interstate 95 goes two ways-
                         Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.

                         22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe
                         even some pepper on them. You want to put milk and
                         sugar on them - then you want cream of wheat - go to
                         Kansas. That would be I-40 West.

                         23. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer
                         season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can
                         get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight
                         at the church on either day.

                         24. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah,
                         it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

                         25. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the
                         water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the
                         gators - and if you hit it in the rough, we have these
                         things called Diamondbacks, and they're not baseball
                         players.

                         26. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you
                         over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir"...
                         no matter how old he is.

                         27. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It
                         drips from them. You park your Navigator under them,
                         and they'll leave a logo on your hood.

                          [/center]

[center]28. You burn an American flag in our state - you get
                         beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our
                         state legislature (all 4 of them) enacted a measure to
                         stop this. There is now a $10 fine for beating up the
                         flag burner.

                         Now, enjoy your visit... I emphasize - "visit."[/center]

Well if you look at a map of Canada going east to west as the crow flies then yep..I'm about as southern as you can get give or take a few 100 miles.