I did not have a very good day today.

Woke up a little late, went out into the living room. The kids were up, daughter watching television, son on the internet. I asked them if they had any plans, they said no. So I figured I'd take them to the range and do a little rimfire time. But first I had some chores that needed to be done. Nothing big or time consuming.

I planned to quickly check the pool chemicals, run the filter and mow the front lawn. Shouldn't take more than 30 mins.

Turn on the switch for the pool pump, humm, pop, tripped a breaker. Reset the breaker, flip switch, humm, pop, breaker again. Checked the pump, friggen' motor won't turn. Not a big problem, shouldn't take too long to remove and diagnose. Remove the pump and motor, it seems to be a bearing in the motor. So I get the bright idea to disassemble the motor so I can order the bearing on the way to the range. Should only take a few minutes.

After snapping off all four of the bolts that hold the pump to the motor, I figured that this was turning into a project.

Motor is trashed, pump housing has four snapped off bolts sticking out of it, probably unusable after I attempt to extricate the bolts. Left all the parts on the workbench and got prices for replacement parts, just in case.

Now it's too late to go to the range, so I figure I might as well mow the lawn as planned.

Pull the cord, motor starts, warm it up, start to cut, motor dies. Pull the cord, motor starts, rev it a little, sounds good, start to cut, motor dies. WTF? Back to the workbench.

It's getting fuel, it's getting spark, the plug is clean. Everything is friggen' working. Put it all back together. Pull the cord, motor starts, rev it, sounds good, start to cut, dies. To make a really long and boring story a little shorter, I eventually dismantled, cleaned and reassembled the carb. Now it runs great.

So after mowing the front lawn I put everything away and went in for dinner. We are just sitting down when the phone rings. My 14 y/o daughter jumps up to get it, I tell her to make it quick.

10 minutes later I tell her to get off the phone. She says "What the heck!?!". Not a good thing to say. I tell her she has 5 seconds to hang up and start the countdown. She hangs up and comes to the table.

Well it seems that I made an error somewhere in "demanding" that she hang up. The wife took exception to my manner. One thing leads to another and we're having a real screaming match.

She wants a divorce.

Says she's wanted to leave for years but has always been talked out of it by her friends or her mother.

It's the first I've heard of it.

I could break a bowling ball.

Everything I touched today turned to shit.  

I can whole-heartedly relate to how you feel, dude.  Stay cool, hang in there.  I know it seems like the end of the world but it probably isn't.  Mrs. A3kid & I go through this type of scenario more often than I care to admit - usually over discipline & the kids.

I'll send out prayers for you & yours.  Don't allow yourself to escalate things and make the situation worse than it is.

Deep breaths.....


Relax.....

edited to add:  I call that the "Midas touch" - when no matter how hard I try, everything I touch turns to shit.  We all have days like that.

Good Lord!

If the story took place like you said it did and the wife was upset with your "demanding" that your daughter get off the phone, then your wife was (obviously) waiting for the "straw" to break that camel's back.  Surely she wasn't really upset that you actually asked your children to mind you! Gasp!

Since you presented it in a negative light, I'll assume that you love your wife?

If you love her, I hope y'all work it out.

If she's godzilla - get a lawyer and get custody of the kids!  NOW!

Best of luck!

Wow.  WOW!  That really was a funky day.  

I've had days very similiar to that.  I have to tell myself that things work out the way they are supposed to.  I'm not a fatalist but that's my faith.  I do what I know is right and have to put the rest in God's hands.  

Maybe you should try planning a weekend away with just you and your wife?  Sit down and really LISTEN to her concerns.  Life, kids, friends, jobs, etc. can all make staying close and being open with your spouse difficult.  Bear in mind, if she's been festering for a while, it's going to be rough.  

I can't emphasize enough to ASK her what her concerns are and then JUST LISTEN.  Don't interject.  Try not to get defensive.  Let her vent.  Again, try to plan a weekend away.  Make you and her the first priority and cancel everything else.  Tell her you'd like to be the one she confides in as opposed to her family and friends about the state of your relationship.

Be prepared to look long and hard at yourself and your relationship.  The sad fact is that it is often patterns that are long-established that are the source of strife.  Hopefully she is effective at verbalizing her feelings and needs and hopefully you are receptive to being responsive to them.  

Please don't think that I am putting all of this on you... but if she's festered for a while over this and is ready to snap, it is not a good idea to start the blame game by throwing stuff that she does in her face.  Think very long and hard before you respond... even if she is getting nasty.  Trust me.  TRUST me.  If she's on the edge, you don't want to give her that reason to go off.  

After you've identified what she feels is wrong (if you get that far), THEN work towards a positive solution.  This would be the time to gently interject with a "what do you think YOU could do to make this relationship stronger?"  See what she comes up with as far as her part before you jump in and add your $1.35.

Very touchy situation.  Good luck.  Have faith.    

First, thanks to all who responded. Your advise was well received and I greatly appreciate it. I really just needed to vent.

A very condensed update.

Fixed the lawn mower that day and it has been running like a champ ever since.

Replaced the pool pump motor and it's purring like a kitten.

Spent some time on the couch trying to figure out this friggen' mess with my wife. I did not lose it, no hitting, yelling or abuse. I was given several chances to bail and declined every time. I think she finally figured out that I may not be the source of her frustration.

When we married over 15 years ago we decided it would be best if she could stay at home and raise the children. Now she wants to get out and go to work or school or something. I don't know why she would think I would object.

I really wish she had told me earlier. We could have avoided most, if not all of this. There is still some tension, but at least we're talking and are in the same bed again.

Yes there is a definite communication problem, but we're working on it.

Wish me luck.

Good luck!!

If it means anything, that was a great picture of your son. Keeping a family together is worth the effort.

I have to admit though, I was surprised that your skin wasn’t yellow, and that you have more than 4 digits.

[img]http://www.ar15.com/images/postPics/operatorerror.gif[/img]

Mike

throw the pump in the front yard, shoot the pump

Yes, it is agreed, you must shoot the pump. Preferably with pictures.  [:)]

DAMN dude!...

Damn!

LOL!

I sure hope you mean the pool pump.

... Spend some quality time in the field or at a stream.

You mean this is a bad day for you, man it is a standard day for me. Hang tough, it can always be worst, trust me on this.

Hang in there,  I think you'll be ok from your last post.


I gotta add (my BIASED opinion, btw)  quite a few women I have met are very bigoted (especially the ex) They don't or won't take the time for fact finding.  Emotions are very powerful and left unchecked will destroy.  seek out counseling.

any dead pump pics yet?