If Guns Were Treated Like Cars
by Ron Miller (edited for size)
1.You could get a simple license from the State for a nominal fee and only have to take a test that any idiot could pass. You'd only have to renew it every 10 years for 40 years and maybe retake the test if you move out of state.
2. You could kill and injure people with your gun while drunk and still have your lawyer get your gun back because you need it for work.
3. You could carry in any State at any time because carry and possession of your gun is honored nationwide and is considered a basic American civil right.
4. You would see commercials on TV pushing the newest, latest guns which you could lease for just $25 per month subject to the fine print.
5. You could buy ammunition at the 7-11. Full-service station means they'll reload your magazines for you.
6. The news would stop reporting gun accidents unless more than 10 children were killed at one time. Onesy-twosey would only be notable in small towns or if Princess Di's bodyguard shot her while aiming at paparazzi.
7. If the price of ammunition rose 20% the Federal Government would release war reserves of ammo to bring the price back down to the consumer's comfort level. Ammo would carry a 50% tax to finance public shooting ranges.
8. We'd teach gunsmithing in vocational-education programs.
9. Every 16 year old would be looking forward to the day when he could take the family revolver to school. The rich kids would get a high-capacity semi-auto pistol on their 16th birthday and endanger everyone when they learn to use it in public.
10. Congress would be subsidizing weapons for people too limited in means to afford their own.
11. You could rent a gun at any airport if you are over 25 and have a credit card.
12. You would have the fringe-greenies advocating bows and arrows because they think gunsmoke is damaging the environment. Al Gore would write a book about the damaging effects of gunsmoke. Al Gore would also claim to have been a handloader before his sister died in a powder fire.
14. Letters to editors would be written decrying that all those Soccer Moms are lugging .50 cal machine guns around town, wasting ammo and getting in everybody's way.
15. Letters to editors would be written responding that putting one's beginning shooter son or daughter behind a .50 cal would mean that the writer's offspring would survive any conflict with lesser armed individuals.
13. Ted Kennedy would have shot Mary Jo Kopekne instead.