LMAO! Those were good!

Here's one for ya,

A farmer pays twice as much for a bull that was advertised as an excellent stud. However, after he puts him to pasture, he won't mate with any of his cows and the neighbors are all making fun of him for paying so much for the bull.

So he goes to vet and tells him the problem. The vet goes in the back and mixes up some male hormone pills and ads some flavoring to it.

He then tells the farmer to go back and the bull one of the three pills. If within the next few days, if he isn't mating to give him the other two.

Well, the farmer goes back and decides to just go ahead and give the bull twp pills right off the bat. The next morning the bull has mated with all his cows and broke through the fence and is in the process of mating with all his neighbors cows.

His neighbor comes running up and asks him, "What did you give that bull!?"

"I don't know put it tasted like peppermint!"

Two women go out one weekend without  their husbands.

As they came back drunk, right before dawn, they felt the  urge to pee.
They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery.
Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there  anyway.

The first one did not have anything to clean herself with so she  took
off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded  them.

The second, not finding anything either, thought: "I'm not getting  rid of
my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself.

The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the
phone and one says to the other: " We have to be on the lookout; it  seems that these two were up to no good last night; my wife came home  without her panties."

The other one responded: "You're lucky; mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that read:  

"We will never forget you."

A little boy and a little girl are playing together when the little girl asks if the boy wants to take his clothes off and play doctor.  

The boy says "No, that's old-fashioned.  Take your gum out - I want to play President."

This good ol' boy goes to the pharmacy and says, "I would like one of them there condoms with the pesticide on it."

The pharmacist replies, "Oh, you must mean spermicide."

"Nope, I want a condom with pesticide," answers the boy.

"Sir, pesticide is used to kill insects. I think you mean spermicide, which is used to keep your wife from getting pregnant," says the pharmacist.

"No, I want pesticide. My wife has had a bug up her ass for weeks now and I aim to kill it."