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Posted: 6/28/2002 7:30:04 AM EDT
Fred's Night Out During a night out, Fred has a bit too much to drink, and throws up on himself. Knowing that Fred's wife will kill him if she knows he's been drinking enough to be sick, the barman decides to help him out, "Just put a twenty in your jacket pocket. When your wife sees you, say that you were passing a pub when someone stumbled out and threw up on you, then gave you the money to pay for the dry- cleaning." Fred thinks this is a pretty good idea, so he takes a twenty from his wallet, puts it in his jacket pocket and, giving his thanks to the barman, leaves the pub. He arrives home, hangs up his jacket and is immediately confronted by his wife. Careful not to slur, he tells his story. His wife checks the jacket, and pulls out two twenty dollar bills. "Hold on," she says. "There are two twenties in here." "Yeah," agrees Fred. "He pissed in my pants too."
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 7:31:06 AM EDT
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated, "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one also." They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one." The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 7:38:47 AM EDT
Stop your kill'in me.[:D]
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 7:45:18 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 7:45:29 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 7:49:44 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 8:18:48 AM EDT
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 8:52:39 AM EDT
A chinese couple get married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her = husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darring, I know dis you firs time and you flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting you want." "What you want?" "I wanna numma 69", she replies. He looks at her very puzzled and says,"You wanna beef with broccolli?
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 8:59:57 AM EDT
ROFLMAO!!!!! These are great. I really like the same cow one[;)].
Link Posted: 6/28/2002 9:30:43 AM EDT
This one might get me banned.. Q) How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? A) She has to chew before she can swallow.
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