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Posted: 6/27/2002 1:15:24 PM EDT
I took a jet to Lake Tahoe in early June for my sister's wedding. I walked into the security line at Denver International Airport; I had one of those empty .45 ACP cartridge key chains that you can buy at the convenience store in my pocket. The security clown would not let me take it on the plane. I told him it was not a real cartridge no primer or powder and a hole drilled right through it with a key ring attached. He just gave me the sheeple stare and I just told him he could have it and went on my way. Damn idiots.[PISSED]
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 3:11:32 PM EDT
WHAT? you didn't thank him/her/it? Too many times I over hear comments like, "thanks for making us feel safer" "thanks for keeping us safe" [rolleyes]
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 3:21:32 PM EDT
This has been happening in Denver at least for a long time. I had the same thing happen to me at Stapleton when that was opened. Although they didn't take a guys pot pipe and weed away when he threw that in the basket!!!! I bet he was jazzed. He looked like he totally forgot it in his pocket and about wet himself at first.
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 3:26:41 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Coax: I took a jet to Lake Tahoe in early June for my sister's wedding. I walked into the security line at Denver International Airport; I had one of those empty .45 ACP cartridge key chains that you can buy at the convenience store in my pocket. The security clown would not let me take it on the plane. I told him it was not a real cartridge no primer or powder and a hole drilled right through it with a key ring attached. He just gave me the sheeple stare and I just told him he could have it and went on my way. Damn idiots.[PISSED]
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Tell me about it; DIA is a real pain in the butt. They were even before 9/11. They always gripe about the dumb things (like empty shell casings), not lethal things like 6' long steel cable locks, etc.
Link Posted: 6/27/2002 3:51:39 PM EDT
How to defeat airport security, a multiply tried and workable approach. 1. Prior to going to the airport procure a large single clove of garlic and place into a ziploc bag. 2. Get some very breathy mints, and put them in your pocket. I find listerine oral care strips to work best. 3. Place all metal items, keys, pocket knives etc in carry on if you forgot to put them into your checked baggage. 4. While in line for the metal detector place the clove of garlic in your mouth but do NOT chew. 5. Place your bag on the Xray conveyor belt and step towards the metal detector. As you step towards the metal detector begin to chew the garlic but do not swallow. Enjoy the rich bold flavor. 6. Face the unable to earn a GED cretin operating the metal detector, smile big, and gush with breathy words, "Oh I am so glad you folks are here! I feel so much safer when you guys are on the case! Thank you for keeping us safe!" or something to that effect. Make sure you allow them to also savor the bold rih taset of the garlic. 7. You will be waved through rapidly. 8. They may ask you to open your bag. Be gracious. Again, this time with a low tone so you have to lean into them to be heard,thank them profusely for the excellent job these obvious muslim fanatic plants are doing to ensure your safety. 9. Suddenly your bag won't seem so interesting. 10. Go to the bathroom. Spit that crap out. Brush your teeth and have a mint or two. Remember, your fellow passengers deserve courtesy, they haven't done anything wrong and probably won't. 11.Put your knife in your pocket, just in case someone on the plane suffers an episode of "lets hijack this plane-itis". 12. Go fly in safety, secure in the knowledge that, just like any terrorists on board, you are armed.
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