Subject: Capitalism
>
> > TRADITIONAL AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
> >
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one and buy a bull.
> > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> > You sell them and retire on the income.
> >
> >
> > ENRON/WORLDCOM/ANDERSON/ETC. CAPITALISM:
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
> > using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
> > bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general
> > offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for
> > five cows.
> > The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
> > to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder
> > who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
> > The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one
> > more.
> > No balance sheet provided with the release.
> > The public buys your bull.
> >
> >
> > A MODERN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows.
> > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> > You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
> >
> >
> > A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows.
> > You go on strike because you want three cows.
> >
> >
> > A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows.
> > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and
> > produce twenty times the milk.
> > You then create clever cow cartoon images
> > called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
> >
> >
> > A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows.
> > You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
> > eat once a month, and milk themselves.
> >
> >
> > A BRITISH CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows.
> > Both are mad.
> >
> >
> > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> > You break for lunch.
> >
> >
> > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows.
> > You count them and learn you have five cows.
> > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> > You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
> >
> >
> > A SWISS CORPORATION:
> > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> > You charge others for storing them.
> >
> >
> > A HINDU CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows.
> > You worship them.
> >
> > A CHINESE CORPORATION:
> > You have two cows.
> > You have 300 people milking them.
> > You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
> > and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
> >
> >
> > AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
> > So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
> > They open a milk factory, an ice cream store,
> > and then sell the movie rights.
> > They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors.
> > So, who needs people?
> >
> >
> > AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION-CLINTON STYLE
> > You have two cows.
> > That one on the left is kinda cute
>