I had a conversation with my lady friend reguarding this question. She said people got married because they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. I told her I got married because I wanted kids, ya know, raise a family. I told her you didn't necessarily need to be married to "spend the rest of your life together" in this society. However, having children out of wedlock is still frowned upon even in this day and age.

So, to all the married people here, did you get married cause you wanted kids or because you wanted to STROYLT?

And to all those who aren't married yet but plan on it in the future, what will be your real reason to get married?

i want to get married to spend my life togeather and have kidos.  then i get to see them learn to shoot.  i can see it now....kidos, first bday, 1st bible, 1st day at school, 1st gun safty course taught by me!, 1st time at the range etc....it will be great.  and then reality sets in and i relize the little s will be driving around in my car doin stupid stuff like i do now!!!!!!! lol

well, some people do it for money. Others do it because they're drunk and happens to be in Vegas. Still others do it due to an unplanned pregnancy. Then there are those starter marriages to get you some experience for your subsequent marriages. Some foreigners marry for green cards.

My question about marriage, is bigomy still illegal? If there are any states where biogomy is legal, please tell me.

unfortunatly.....yes

To be with someone who makes you better than you are alone.

I learned that from a 'chick flick'; Sex and Mrs X. [;D]
Jaqueline Bisset and what's her name from Terminator.
Both were so hot looking at their 'middle age', I couldn't change the channel, man! [:P]

All of you single guys and gals out there need to write the following down:

[b]ANTIHISTAMINES BLOCK 'THE PILL'![/b]

Found that out the hard way.[:D]  Seriously though, I've been married for 14 years now, I have three terrific sons, and I wouldn't change a thing.

cause your future father-in-law has a sawed off under his Tux...

What???? you dont think I would of done this of my own free will did ya?[0:)]

j/k

Cause they are MASOCHISTS ![;D] Need a companion? Get a dog![;)] Need lovin? Go to Vegas every other week and rent ya the ho of your dreams..Lots cheaper in the long run![:D].....yeah I'm kidding!!!..............NOT!

There are a lot of reasons that people get married - companionship, financial security, status, regular sex, and a desire for a family, to name a few.  If I ever get married again, it will be because I love that person and desire to spend the rest of my life with them.

If you marry just to have children as opposed to wanting to spend the rest of your lives together, will it be enough to hold the marriage together after the children are grown?

Please expand upon this.

But can't you spend the rest of your lives together without being married, even if she is a keeper?

Many antihistamines such as Diphenhydramine HCL interfere with, and reduce the effectivness of, birth-contol pills.

I got married for the unlimited hot sex!

I am looking for my second wife.. a rich older woman with a young daughter ;o)

Make that a second and a third.

I've seen nothing to support this.
In fact I am aware of a study that added Diphenhydramine to an emergency contraceptive kit.  Am interested to read the source of your info.  Pass it along when you get a chance?

As we live to die....

As we wake to sleep.....

We marry to [b]DIVORCE[/b].....


I refuse to go anymore, and most of the time I tell them go have sex, find a divorce lawyer and pay him 5K and cut thru the chase.....a LOT easier that way....

People marry for ALL the wrong reasons anymore...Pessimist? Hopefully not, just trying to be honest......

I'm still wondering the same thing.Even after my divorce.

I married her to keep her from getting away,NOW shes there every day.I could'nt hack that crap,so's a year later we both went on our way.  [red]Face it today women marry to "better" .*their. situation,and you pay dearly.[/red]They talk'n'spend to much too,as a whole.Still would never "hookup"EVEN WITH A PRE-NUP.

Same here, but man was I wrong.[:(]

I married because I was in love and we planned on spending the rest of our lives together, raising a family, etc.  

Obviously that didn't happen.  The last straw was when, after being together for 4 1/2 years and having already agreed on the subject, I asked him, "You don't even want to have children, do you?"  

His reply, "Nope.  Not really."

Now that I've been single for four years the ONLY reason I would get married again is if I was DEFINATELY going to have a family with the man I was with.  Other than that, I don't see any reason for the legal committment.  I've never cheated in my life and I don't think that a piece of paper would make me any more committed to a relationship.

Interesting to ponder though.... do you think the legal permanance of marriage makes a person try harder to keep their relationship together?  Or do you think that the knowledge that there is nothing keeping you together other than freewill if you're not married makes you try harder?

           I see alot of folks here in Denial. So I am going to clear it up for ya! Its all very simple you see. You get married so you can have somebody to cook, clean and 'get some' without much effort or money spent!  Then, you have children to mow the lawn, clean the garage, wash dishes etc.,etc.
           
            The only time marriage doesn't work is when 1) they figure out your plan and join forces against you  or 2) the kids grow up, go off to college or start a life of their own and you have to actually live with your wife. No place to hide now!!!

I got married to keep society safe.  

I figured that if we keep ourselves [whacko][whacko]concentrated in one household, it would be better for all mankind.  I later discovered that she wanted me to help her with some "scientific experiments" that she was working on in her spare time.  This lead to our 6 y.o. daughter Brenna. [:)]

Still, we make each other laugh on a regular basis and lead the life of what we call "The REAL Addams Family."  I can't complain about a woman who can fire all of my guns, loves a .50 cal. (thanks again Beekeeper), grunt up gators, cook awesome Jamaican jerk chicken, take wonderful care of my kids, discuss theology, etc. etc.

You get the idea.  The trick is to not compromise.  If the person isn't quite right, don't settle.

-White Horse

I suppose it's theoretically possible.  In the real world it would be very difficult.

I don't think you can spend the rest of your lives together without a very high level of commitment to work through problems and accept the other person as they are without trying to change them.  A commitment to stick with them through sickness, depression, job loss, difficult children, difficult parents, etc.  

Can you have that without a marriage certified by the state?  Sure.  But if you have that level of commitment, why wouldn't you want the legal protections and privileges afforded by the marriage certificate?  Why wouldn't you want to say publicly that you are committed to love this person till death do you part?  99% of the time, if someone doesn't want to make the legal commitment of marriage, it's because they still want the option to leave down the road if things don't turn out as they had hoped.  That is appropriate when you are still getting to know someone, but it is a recipe for failure in a marriage.

Build a life together.
Have a family.
Making love for the rest of your life to the woman you have fallen hopelessly in love with sounds good to me.

ARH

You are correct rainman, marriage is to raise a family with kids....and that's the reason I did it.

IMHO, i don't think Nimrod is making this up. Several girlfriends I've had over the years have told me that antihistamines affect the pill. Better safe then sorry. If your girl has a cold wrap that rascal for a few days. No big deal.

I think the legal permanence of marriage makes people try LESS to keep their relationship together. It is like you are on cruise control and the relationship is a given once you are married.

I might get ribbed here, but I got married because I love my wife completely. We have 3 beautiful straight shootin kids as a result of our bond. We have worked very hard to make it these 13 years and our love for each other gets stronger every day.

That being said...marriage is the hardest thing I have ever done and I will never do it again should something (God forbid) go wrong now.

I married my wife, because I love her with all of my heart!

Get married, have kids, get a big belly and wistfully remember my single days when having sex was spontaneous.[BD] The crazy thing is that I'm happy as can be and wouldn't go back to my wild woman chasing days for anything. Will be hitched 13 years 7/2![+]:D]

Well considering stuff like pre-nups which are essentially backdoors to marriages, people expect marriages to fail. The institution of marriage isn't nearly as strong as it used to be. I have an uncle, his wife have been paralyzed for 20 years, so he brought up their son all by himself and took care of her all these years. That's commitment. I remember discussing this with my friends, and they were all like, wow, I can never do that. 20 years of no sex and taking care of a paralyzed person wouldn't be much fun, that's for sure. It all depend on where you stand when you get married, do you place individual happiness first or commitment and your partner first.

A lot of people get married because they think they're in love and that love will make fix everything wrong with their life and lead to happily ever after. That's an extremely self centric approach to marriage and is ill prepared to weather the ups and downs of daily life with someone.

I think a lot of people have the wrong approach to love. They're concentrated on the fact that they're in love and how good it makes them feel, rather than the object of their affections. It seems like a lot of people are more in love with the idea that they're in love than the person they're supposedly in love with. If you're just concerned about yourself, then it's easy to confuse love with lust, marriages require a level of commitment that go beyond sex and fuzzy feelings. When you peel away all the bells and whistles, it all comes down to, will you take care of her if she's paralyzed for the rest of her life?

I'll tell that to the young bucks at work, 'cause they're "getting married to have steady sex."  ::all marrieds in room roll eyes::

I know there are great marriages out there. Even have seen a few.


However, 2 out of 3 marriages today bomb.
The ones who are still married, seem to be tough.

It's programming from our parents, peers, society to get into it.

Think it's changing, though, at least in some areas.
Friends in DC & SF, are in groups of dozens, where each is
successful, making good money, house/cars, etc - men & women
all hanging out together: parties, hikes, trips, and few
of them married. These are aged 20's-40's singles not desperate.

Women are the greatest beings to walk the earth.

When I meet the right girl.

Yeah ,your suppose to and most do. I did both times...problem is they both LIED.[;D] Edited to say: Anti, you don't have to say that just cause shes standin behind ya drying a fry-pan!! [:D]

Well...I was told if I got married I'd get fucked a lot....somehow, I think I misunderstood
[:O]

That's it exactly... and when someone much more wise tries to tell you the truth, you don't believe or figure your marriage will be different... programming.

Marriage is simple.  Seen it time and time again, lived it for a time, too.  Compromise.  You'll be doing it.  Lots of it.  The things you love to do will fall by the wayside, replaced with the things you've got to do to keep the 'marriage' and the other half happy.  Before you even realize it, the essence of what you are is replaced, your stones are sitting on some metaphorical shelf in 'her' closet.  And anytime you try and reach for them you'll get slapped down by someone who resembles the person you once loved, but now behaves more like a jailer, afraid of any appearance of individuality or independence.

The line from Tolkien explains marriage in very exact terms:

One Ring to rule them all,
one Ring to find them,
one Ring to bring them all
and in the Darkness bind them
Does that sound a bit bitter?

and please tell your darling wife we belive everything she told you to say.[:)]

I ask myself that on a regular basis, espicially when I talk to a few friends of mine who aren't married, but live with and have a kid with their significant other. The benefits of their sort of life are staggering. Paid collage, tax relief, and others I am too agravated to recall at the moment. I sometimes joke with my wife that we need to get devorsed and have a couple of kids. The government sure makes it look attractive.

Why did I marry my wife? Because I love her and she believes in marrage (I guess I do too). It seemed (and still seems) like the right thing to do. I see nothing wrong with proveing my commitment to our relationship by marrying her.

I was not getting any younger. Therefore, I had to get myself a man. Then the hubby came along. TA-DA! TA-DA!

Well, it is a big deal.  I wonder if Nimrod has found his source for this claim.

I couldn't explain it.  I just know that it's right.  Fantastic wife and great kids.  I'm happy.  She says she is too.

Well, regular sex is not the reason.

I'll have to agree with White Horse:

“If the person isn't quite right, don't settle.”

...and furthermore, if you have to analyze and think about it THAT hard, maybe it wasn't meant to be.  Besides, I strongly feel that the word 'commitment' in combination of marriage or relationship is the issue of all problems.  People have commitments to do their job all the time and  nobody gets all bent out of shape.  Maybe women need to take a different approach overall; without reciting the word COMMITMENT.  :)

I never wanted to spend another day without my husband again; that was my reason and still is after 15 years.

I try to stay out of discussions about politics, religion, and marriage with people I don't know well. All I can say is I got married at 22 and I'm still married to the same woman at 39. Sometimes it's hell, sometimes it's heaven. Life is like that, and if you expect anything different you'll spend a lot of time being restless and unhappy. I'll also confess that my wife didn't balk when I dumped my career ten years ago to go run a hobby shop at half the income. How could you not love a woman like that?

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Quoted:
All of you single guys and gals out there need to write the following down:

ANTIHISTAMINES BLOCK 'THE PILL'!

Found that out the hard way. Seriously though, I've been married for 14 years now, I have three terrific sons, and I wouldn't change a thing.
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Please expand upon this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Many antihistamines such as Diphenhydramine HCL interfere with, and reduce the effectivness of, birth-contol pills.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




I've seen nothing to support this.
In fact I am aware of a study that added Diphenhydramine to an emergency contraceptive kit. Am interested to read the source of your info. Pass it along when you get a chance?
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Are you sure you have the antihistamine bit correct?  There is a definite link between antibiotics and reduced effectiveness of the pill but I have never heard of antihistamines reducing the effectiveness of the pill.  Could there be the possibility she was prescribed antibiotics and was using the antihistamines at the same time?  My best friend is an Organon Pharmaceutical sales rep and has verified the antibiotic link.  Should check the Organon or Ortho web sites for more info.  (If they give that kind of info on the web.)

BTW: Organon is bringing out a new form of B.C. its a little ring that looks like a 1.5 inch dia. O-ring which the woman inserts in her vagina. (Can I say that here?)  It releases a constant but very low dose of the the magic hormones that prevent conception.  i.e. no spike and decay of the levels as in taking the pill, plus there is not the possibility of forgetting to take the pill.  The end result is fewer side effects and more convenience.  My buddy is in Las Vegas learning how to sell it this week so it should be available on the market very soon.

On the subject matter:  I married my wife because I wanted to be able to share the same bed with her when we visited my parents house.  [:)]  Actually, we are the churchy family type, so it was to raise a well balanced family following the "rules" of Christianity.  

Kent

P.S. How do you get the nice bold "previously quoted" style text like I see in the other posts?

If you use the "Reply with Quotes" option (clicking on the [img]www.ar15.com/forums/images/icons/icon_quote.gif[/img] icon), it will format it that way for you automatically.  If you want to quote only part(s) of the preceding text, enclose it in [ quote ] and [ / quote ] (no spaces).  That and other wonderful posting techniques are available in the [url=http://www.ar15.com/forums/help/code.html]Board Code[/url] link right under the box where you post your message.