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Posted: 6/10/2002 7:29:30 PM EDT
Well I have been separated for 6 months and I will finialize the divorce in two weeks but I met someone 5 months ago.......for 4 months we were kinda like Sienfeld and Elain just hanging out and doing the "this and the that", now suddenly it seems like we both have this mutual "feeling" thing going on which is good but she just got a job 2 1/5 hours away, but the ironic thing is it is at my hometown. All I can say now is that I am as happy as I have been in 2 years but I am wondering if this could be a recipie for disaster. She has blown through all of my barriers and now I just have a stupied "stoned out" feeling when ever I am away from her....arrrrrrr damn forces of nature. Any relationship experts out there to offer advice?
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 7:33:45 PM EDT
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 7:41:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Wolfpack: I have a phd in relationship therapy, go to a "Gentlemans Club" and see how much you like her then [:D]
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Good advice. LOL
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 7:45:18 PM EDT
So you were in a long term relationship that ended, then within 1 month you got into a serious relationship? No flame meant, but I think you need some time alone and learn to be by yourself for a while. Otherwise you will repeat the same mistakes made the first time and be divorced again. The reason this new girl was able to blow thru all your barriers is because you dated again to early and were vulnerable. This is very common. What is it that you really want out of a relationship? These are questions that need a honest answer. If it's marriage then she can wait, if its sex then move down the road. Is this the only lady you have dated since the ddivorce? If it is, then you probably are just happy not being alone and she fills that void and nothing more. Like I said, no flame meant. But you need to learn to be happy with out a woman before you can learn to be truly happy with a woman. Remember...you asked. Sgtar15
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 7:52:47 PM EDT
I hear the sound of ..[i]BOOIIINNNNNG!!!![/i] . I think your just rebounding , had to hold off my current wife because of that , made her wait an entire year after her divorce before any hanky-panky took place . Just take it easy and slow and don't let your brainless head get you into any trouble .
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 7:54:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/10/2002 7:55:06 PM EDT by echo6]
What is it that you really want out of a relationship? These are questions that need a honest answer. If it's marriage then she can wait, if its sex then move down the road. Is this the only lady you have dated since the divorce? If it is, then you probably are just happy not being alone and she fills that void and nothing more. Like I said, no flame meant. [b]But you need to learn to be happy with out a woman before you can learn to be truly happy with a woman.[/b] Remember...you asked.
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what he said, just way better than I could of typed it :) echo6
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 8:12:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/10/2002 8:13:00 PM EDT by MisterGreens]
So she is moving 2 hours and 12 minutes away? You must have timed that one a couple of times!
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 8:18:17 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sgtar15: So you were in a long term relationship that ended, then within 1 month you got into a serious relationship? No flame meant, but I think you need some time alone and learn to be by yourself for a while. Otherwise you will repeat the same mistakes made the first time and be divorced again. The reason this new girl was able to blow thru all your barriers is because you dated again to early and were vulnerable. This is very common. What is it that you really want out of a relationship? These are questions that need a honest answer. If it's marriage then she can wait, if its sex then move down the road. Is this the only lady you have dated since the ddivorce? If it is, then you probably are just happy not being alone and she fills that void and nothing more. Like I said, no flame meant. But you need to learn to be happy with out a woman before you can learn to be truly happy with a woman. Remember...you asked. Sgtar15
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You just varified what I am thinking....the 2 1/2 hours thing will cool things down enough I think......I told her what ever happens I would rather us to stay friends
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 8:20:03 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sgtar15: So you were in a long term relationship that ended, then within 1 month you got into a serious relationship? No flame meant, but I think you need some time alone and learn to be by yourself for a while. Otherwise you will repeat the same mistakes made the first time and be divorced again. The reason this new girl was able to blow thru all your barriers is because you dated again to early and were vulnerable. This is very common. What is it that you really want out of a relationship? These are questions that need a honest answer. If it's marriage then she can wait, if its sex then move down the road. Is this the only lady you have dated since the ddivorce? If it is, then you probably are just happy not being alone and she fills that void and nothing more. Like I said, no flame meant. But you need to learn to be happy with out a woman before you can learn to be truly happy with a woman. Remember...you asked. Sgtar15
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Thanks sgtar15, saved me some typing...I would only add, take a look at yourself VTHOKIESHOOTER..... no flame.
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 8:34:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/10/2002 8:37:56 PM EDT by Winston_Wolf]
... Been there. Done that. - Don't fuck up your career for a woman! - When you get up in the morning she goes where ever she goes but she doesn't "lounge" at the man cave! - She is not the only woman out there. - Does she have her own house, car and career? - Does she have "baggage"? - Does she "meet you half way" on these long distance occasions? - Does she have a mysterious past that she guards? - Does she have decent credit? - Would she sign a prenup? - Don't mean to sound cold dude but I'm tellin' ya bro it's SOOOO much better when rationale dictates your situation over short term lust. Really, you'll quickly see that it benefits the both of you this way if it really "WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN"!
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 8:41:04 PM EDT
Been There.. Done That.. Lasted 5 years before the divorce became final.. But the hell started within two.. Take your time.. If it's really that great, it'll be even better in a year... Sounds to me like you got used to being married and have forgotten how to be alone... Wonderful, peaceful alone... It gets easier each day...
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 8:44:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/10/2002 8:48:19 PM EDT by VTHOKIESHOOTER]
Originally Posted By Winston_Wolf: ... Been there. Done that. - Don't fuck up your career for a woman! - When you get up in the morning she goes where ever she goes but she doesn't "lounge" at the man cave! - She is not the only woman out there. - Does she have her own house, car and career? - Does she have "baggage"? - Does she "meet you half way" on these long distance occasions? - Does she have a mysterious past that she guards? - Does she have decent credit? - Would she sign a prenup? - Don't mean to sound cold dude but I'm tellin' ya bro it's SOOOO much better when rationale dictates your situation over short term lust. Really, you'll quickly see that it benefits the both of you this way if it really "WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN"!
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Hell....I am not talking about marriage or anything like that.....we just have chemistry and like each others company.....the cool part is that she did move to my home town and I go up there every 2 weeks anyway to play golf and fish with my dad and there is no way I would quit my job over a woman.....$$$$ talks BTW I am at my happiest when I am either A)in the woods hunting B) on the river fishing C) at the shooting range blasting or D) kicking ass on the golf links. These are my priorities
Link Posted: 6/10/2002 9:13:40 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Mortech: I hear the sound of ..[i]BOOIIINNNNNG!!!![/i] . I think your just rebounding , had to hold off my current wife because of that , made her wait an entire year after her divorce before any hanky-panky took place . Just take it easy and slow and don't let your brainless head get you into any trouble .
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Good job, Mortech - and good advice.
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