If the Jew could do anything...

1.) I'd get my Black in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and finish my Bruce Lee Jeet Kun Do Concepts certification.  I'd train underpriviledged kids, because they will be the ones who [b]learn attentively[/b] what I'd teach them.

2.) I wanna learn how those guys channel Ki/Chi through their bodies to do cool stuff.  If I could get kicked repeatedly in the gonads and neck without flinching, no telling how popular at parties I'd be.  My new favorite phrase would be "Focusing Chi is such a chick magnet"

3.) I'd produce my own Internet porn website, and introduce my own brand of female stars.  The screening process would be done by me, and only the sexiest and most eager girls would make the cut.  I figure with that Chi focusing thing, I could probably pull off something like that.


If I were [b]JoJo[/b], I'd probably say...

1.) I'd travel Asia in search of that "horizontal genitalia" thing I hear so much about.  Ok, sure people say that's just a joke, but cmon ... 1.5 Billion People?? There's gotta be some freaky Oriental chick that got born wrong or something.

2.) I would go into the deepest recesses of AZ, and build me a giant compound like that guy in "Tremors" did.  Concrete reinforcement, 20mm AA guns, lifetime supply of powder, the whole 9 yards.  I'd then order about 15,000,000 various breeds of house cats, and have them dropped off inside a fenced-in area around my compound, approximately 100 miles in radius.  My job description would simply be "Population Control".

3.) After obtaining complete blueprints to the Mall of America, I'd hire a clandestine team of drillers to make a complex series of tunnels and trapdoors throughout the mall.  Then, following a studious review of the various positions of the hired security guards at particular times of the day, I would find the best route (through my complex series of tunnels and trapdoors) to quitely sneak up and dispose of them properly.  I would then replace each guard with a member of my own crack team of hired muscle.  After successfully infiltrating the premises, I'd force everyone in the mall to watch my greatest feat....pretending to be a pet monkey, while McUzi played a grinder.  I could then die a happy man.

I would buy, not in any particular order:

[b]Short List[/b]
Lange 1
Blancpain 1735
PP Sky/Moon Tourbillon
Ferrari 575M
Ferrari F40/F50/F60
MB S55
Extra large cabin in Aspen
Villa in Italy

Yes, material possessions are the best!

If money wasn't an issue, I would probably do volunteer work.

I would build a huge oil drilling platform in international waters. Then find all of the FDCGH's and hire them on as on site consultants.
After they were all on board the platform, I would cut off all electricity and strand them there with non-functioning computers so they could do no more harm.

Build a Mall Ninja Academy.

Get a satelite phone with Interpol on autodial.

I'd buy up the state of Wyoming, hire the best scientists and start my own nuclear weapons program, hire a standing army of 500,000 ex-military, and pay a fee of $1,000,000 each to get womenz like Miss_Magnum to move there.

Then I'd secede from the union.

Now that the basis is formed, on to the niceties:

* Underwrite the world's best chefs to move to Wyoming and open a resturaunt.

* Buy up all the world's best art and relocate it to Wyoming galleries.

* Start a "Weapons for the Poor" charity program: A free M16, FAL, 1911, and 92FS to every family (or, whatever piece you want).

* Oh, I forgot, billboards and statues of me in every town and at every milemarker on major roads.

Did I forget anything?

[:D]

In the Caribbean there's a tiny Dutch island named Saba.  Maybe 5 square miles.  Old volcano summit 3200 feet tall.  Highest point in the Carib.  Place is so vertically steep roads couldn't be built till the 1950's and even today there are only 5 miles of positively exhilirating pavement.  Only about a thousand people live there.  Most folks still get around by walking the mountain trails.  Even the 80 year-olds have calves like olympic runners.  Incredibly healthy place to live.  Over the centuries invaders never made a dent in the place because it's so easy to defend.  I'd like an acre or two on the side of the mountain.  On a clear day you'll look over St. Martin, St. Barthelmy, St. Eustatius, St. Kitts, Nevis, Antigua and Montserrat.  Farm a patch, raise goats, write a few lines and maybe put some oil on canvas.  A decade ago I scrawled my name in the road below where I want to live.  Doesn't take much in the way of money but the rewards are adequate.  Too quiet for many but I've planned it for about twenty years.

i'd walk the Earth...get in adventures and sh*t.

I'd start my own lab and name myself chief research provost. I'd fund research in all areas of science and gather the best scientists, inventors, and engineers to my labs to research and develop new ideas and technologies which we will give away for free to mankind. We will also have large scrable parties just for kicks.

I want to build a civilization based on classical liberal ideals, freedom of information, everyone will have free network access to all information known to mankind. University and all educational opportunities will be open to anyone who wants to learn. All kids will attend quality kindergartens where they will develop a lifelong love for learning. Automate everything that requires physical and menial labor so everyone can do research. Give everyone free passes to travel anywhere they want and see new things and experience what the world has to offer.

Alas... the money may be good doing that up there but I could never live in New York.  One, it's too freakin' cold.  I break out in hives when I get too cold (strange allergy, but true).  

Plus it's too far into Yankee territory.  [:D]

Besides, I work in the technical field because it's something I'm good at, the pay is great and I'm not so passionate about it that I take my work home with me.  I decided a while ago that I didn't want to attach a salary figure on what my heart enjoys the most.

Can I live in your state sir?

Easy one.
Buy the US Congress.

Movie producer.

I would take underprivileged actresses under my "wing" and introduce them to the entertainment industry (casting couch).....LOL.

Seriously.  I've always been a movie buff and am constantly amazed at the garbage the big 3 turn out.  At least I would try to give the American public the credit for having some brains.  Sometimes I not sure they deserve that credit but at least I would try.

At first I thought he said..."outdoor pornographer"

4.) Become an outdoor pornographer.

I would like to make a Fri. the 13th type movie, it'd be about an hour long (which would be a stretch) but in the end there would be no coming back!!! [:D]

Buy CBS news and force Dan Rather to deliver the news in a paisley tutu.

I get a good string of mules and hounds. Run lions all season long.

I have a mansion, forget the price. Ain't never been there, they tell me it's nice.
My Maserati does 185, I lost my license, now I don't drive.

Just a couple of thoughts that come to mind.

I was thinking man whore, which is good cuz' I could never make any money at it.

theraputic riding? Is everything a therapy nowadays? My best friend once rode a horse, got himself a leg full of fleas.

Not [i]everything[/i] is therapeutic these days.  

May I site your postings as an example of such.

I'd Buy An Island... declare it my own country.....

AND I WOULD OWN WHATEVER THE HECK KIND OF WEAPONS I WANTED!!!!!!!!

Start a town.... bring in gun-enthusiasts from all over to live there...

Find A wife who wants to be queen

-Chuck

I've always wanted take a few years off to visit every park around the country where great basketball is played. Stay a few weeks in each place, find a job at a local diner, play basketball for a few weeks, then move on to the next place.

I would screw with people I met and did not like.

Things like they screw with me or insult me and I would go and buy the mortgage on thier homes and boot them out the first late payment.

Shoot professionally and also on an Olympic level.

Teach hunters safety and firearm safety courses. I would try to teach as many men, woman, and children in my lifetime about preserving gun ownership, being active in the shooting sports, and being pro-active in the preservation of the 2nd Amendment.

Awesome topic!

Great replies!

Many are tired of hearing me say, "we grow old, and die."

It is so short.

Believe in an afterlife?

Good friends, good conversation, good food, good drink, good sex.

Spend time with friends, travel by motorcycle and car, maybe other countries.

Help some sick with cancer or similar, individually or in small groups.

Be thankful for every beautiful day.

Live life breath to breath.

It is so short.

I'd fish for and catch bass until I had tendonitis in my elbow. .....Wait, already got that covered.....I'll buy a new elbow, and buy Bill Dance's TV show away from him, fire his goofy ass, and take over his private TV ponds and all the huge bred for TV bass that live in them, and make my on goofy assed TV Fishing show, complete with ARs blasting away at commorants, carp, gar, and trespassers! On non-filming days, I would cruise around with my little woman, fishing as many of the big tournament trails as possible.

You are a truly noble man!

Play the world's best golf courses.

If money wasn't an option.....

1)I'd find an island off of South America... nice sized one...possibly somewhere near the equator.... On this island, I'd set up a launch facility for rockets, and shuttles.  Nothing big... 6 launch pads 3 for shuttles 3 for rockets (big ones)

2)Buy lots of land somewhere in AZ or around there... A landing strip for a shuttle.  Possibly an RnD place too.

3)Get me some land in Texas.... coastal... lots of it. Another landing strip and launching facility (Just 4 pads).  More RnD stuff.

I'd get the old Saturn V 1st stage back into production, w/ some modifications.  Lighten up the design, make the engines more efficent.  Make the stage 1 reusable.  Use that to launch satalites and/or 'my' small shuttle (used for satalite launch/repair/retreaval)

Get some of those Russian designed rockets running (good designs, just no money to use).

Build a fleet of shuttles... new design... not many, just 5.  Another fleet of small shuttle.... to go ontop of my Saturn V launcher....

I'd spend money on my own space station and missions back to the moon for more RnD.  Any one for golf?  Station would do more zero G experiments for medicin and effects on the human body.... for that long mission to Mars and/or others (hee, hee)

Humm.... can't think of anything else for now...

You did say if money was not a problem....

Edit-
Of coarse, with all this stuff, gotta have the weopons to protect it all.  Did I mention that RnD would work on a hand held laser [}:D]

I second that!
Buy the ten guns that I have on my to buy list
buy a bass boat and a blue water rig.

Hell I will either shoot, fish, hunt or play golf and in the free time drink beer and watch TV

I would buy this local mom & pop amusement park and make the best damn wooden roller coaster the world has ever seen.

Some really kick ass strippers, water ski from my aircraft carrier, and pilot lessons for my new space shuttle.

Plus, exotic cars for all my friends.

WL

If money wasnt a consideration?  I would buy a nice house and lots of land and have a farm. I would volunteer in organizations for children- for example abused and neglected kids. I would stay home garden, spend time with my kids ( if I had any ) and I would travel.

Finally be able to afford what I have always dreamt of haveing: A Harem. [BD]

Buy a small cattle ranch.. Hunt Africa every year.. finaly get that Dakota 416 and Kolar shotgun.. last but not least a nice 50 foot sailboat.. Skydive and BASE jump more.. A few labs to match the pair I have now..

Blue Skies, Ropes

OK, the following assumes that money is no object:

All of the obvious first:  no more debt for my family and all my good friends, etc, etc.  Also have the best team of lawyers and the best possible insurance to protect me and my interests.

1.  Obtain the largest machinegun and destructive device collection on earth, and keep it at knob Creek which I now own.  Knob Creek is totally renovated, FREE, with professional ROs.  The shoot will be held quarterly, and all my friends will get flown in free whenever they like.

2.spend millions and millions on pro gun candidates and pro gun advertising every year.  send the complete NRA "Eddie Eagle" gun safety program to every elementary school in the nation, public and private.

3. Establish grants (millions) for any organization that wishes to start a youth shooting program.  

4.  Donate millions to all of the terrible condition public parks and land mgmt. areas in all 50 states.

5.  Donate money and resources to every AA and NA group that needs it, and start more groups where needed.

6. Get my back fixed by the best surgeons on the earth.

7.  And finally, have the ultimate 50,000 acre compound/ranch with everything imagineable on it.  I would spend my time enjoying my children and wife, shooting, relaxing, fishing, etc.


Balming

1) Go back to college.

2) Don't work.

3) Buy 160 acres plot, I already have it picked out.

4) Incorporate my acerage as a town and esablish myself as the police and buy myself a cool LE arsenal

Buy about 100 acres of land (w/ trout stream) in the Adirondacks. Spend all my time hunting and fishing. Buy lots of guns & fly rods.