Originally Posted By crapshoot:
@Hesperus what part of Nevada are you in?

Originally Posted By Rigmarole:
@Hesperus

Thanks for making the effort to post and reaching out.  I am in the Reno area and will help out if I can.  Have you shopped for a replacement water heater - is the existing one gas or electric?  Is the water heater located in an accessible spot or someplace more difficult to access?

Most importantly, don't worry about other's "predictable" actions, especially when you are predicting to be disappointed by them.  You are only setting yourself up for further disappointment.  The only thing that you ultimately have control over is yourself.  Make a decision to do what you can to make today better than the day before, even if only marginally.

Originally Posted By Hesperus:


I believe it's electric. The spot it's in is fairly accessible.

Haven't shopped for a replacement because as I said. I have no way to pay for it.

As for the rest of what you said. I've been trying to improve myself, I really have. And I know the rest of that stuff. But I'm just exhausted with dealing with scummy behavior.

Originally Posted By Hesperus:


I believe it's electric. The spot it's in is fairly accessible.

Haven't shopped for a replacement because as I said. I have no way to pay for it.

As for the rest of what you said. I've been trying to improve myself, I really have. And I know the rest of that stuff. But I'm just exhausted with dealing with scummy behavior.

Originally Posted By arashi:
Im in Reno and can help out.  IM sent.

Originally Posted By 64tinc:
I'm in need of a teen counselor to talk to a depression case that has been found with cuts. Need a good contact for OKC area. Don't want to get much into it here, but I think a professional counselor psychiatrist will help.  Thanks.

Originally Posted By HALFNATTYGAINZ:
Deactivated many of my social media profiles including all my dating ones. None of the women on them are actually interested, they're just wasting time. I hate this world of dating, it just makes me feel so awful. I'm just so tired of getting used, stood up,...etc. I get it, not everyone is going to be interested or sometimes they're going through weird shit themselves. Fine. But people seem to treat each other like objects. I want is to make someone else happy, I remember with my ex, as lying cheating and manipulative as she was there were moments of just pure happiness I saw in her. When I would surprise her, when I woudl leave her a little love note, when I got her a gift,  when she would look at me with a sparkle in her eyes and say something like "I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have you" That's all I want, out of a relationship. Why because it makes me feel important. It gives me purpose on earth. And when we all we see is pure shit on the news, making the world a better place for someone is a damn good thing.
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I'm in search of that feeling again man, and I can't find it. I can't even get anywhere close to it. I don't know where else to go. I try to start small and just be nice to people randomly. Human interaction is still illegal in my area due to covid. Talking about to strangers  or trying to make conversation is like "mmmfpfpfm" 'mmmmffmm" "mmfpfpmmm" "mmmfpffmmm". And all these retards are like "dIs iS dA nEw nOrMaL!" So probably isn't going away any time soon.  So idk man, it's like I was using online to atleast have some potential at finding someone or atleast talk to people, but that shit makes me feel ever worse. So I guess I'm going back to not having any dating apps at all. I gotta get the fuck outta this area man.
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It's late so that's probably playing into my mental state a bit too. Probably cringe at this post and delete it in the morning.

Originally Posted By macro:
32 years (and about 15 hours) ago, Walter Kulkusky put a .22WMR revolver in his mouth, pulled the trigger, and ended his life. No one knew why. We still don't. He was my best friend, but not I, not his family, and not one other friend ever had a clue that he was hurting so bad that suicide was a realistic idea to him. Whatever it was that he perceived was so bad in his life that at the age of 16, that morning he decided that things had gotten so fucked up that his only way out was to put a bullet through the palate of his mouth, through his brain, and out the top of his skull.

Why do I share this story tonight?

A couple of reasons.

First, they say that time heals all wounds.
Yeah...not really. This all happened over 3 decades ago, and I can still replay every minute of that day in my head like a movie I've seen a thousand times. I can recite the lines, feel the emotions, see his face, and feel the sting when I got the news that the cops found his body slumped over on the ground under a nearby pine tree. You may not think so, but people like you (I suspect maybe a few even love you). They will never get over it if you choose to take this route. If those people mean anything at all, think about that.


Another thought: You are hurting. Bad. You don't see a way out. Maybe (probably) you don't think there even is a way out. Meanwhile, I would bet that many folks who CAN HELP YOU don't even know what you are going through. No matter what you are involved in, HELP IS AVAILABLE. Tell someone what the fuck is going through your mind. It's not weak to ask for help. Frankly, it's fucking stupid and weak not to.

I don't see the world through rose colored lenses. I haven't in about 32 years. The world has the capacity to be a cruel, evil, fucked up place. There is a lot of darkness in this life. I've experienced it...it's real. That said...play the game to win. You can't win if you quit the game.

You can call me a boomer (I'm not) but the older I get, the more I value life, and the more I see how shortsighted I was in my younger years. I can't count how many times I felt I was stuck in some insurmountable dilemma, with no way out. I've seen it all: substance abuse, crippling debt, broken families, on the run from people...I've been around some pretty destitute folks, and let's be honest...I was the company I kept.

There was ALWAYS A WAY OUT.


Look, I don't know what you are going through, and I won't pretend to. I'm not you, and you aren't me. I'll never say, "I know how you feel", because that is bullshit. Only you know what is happening between your ears. That said, I know for a fact that whatever you are involved in can be resolved without you cashing your chips out tonight. I know that from experience, and I promise you that it is truth.

Bottom line, tell someone what is going on. You might be surprised not only how much someone else might care, but how resourceful they can be in helping you resolve whatever your trouble is. Got no one? Send me a PM or an email. Yeah, I'm a total stranger. So what? I can assure you that I give a shit, and maybe that's enough. There is nothing you are involved in that can't be dealt with.

Walter never even got the opportunity to see the world through adult eyes. He had no perspective. He chose a path that led him down a one-way, dead-end street. Somewhere...on the other side...he remains at the end of that street...alone...forever.

Don't be Walter.

Originally Posted By Joh2900:
Anyone got the magic pill?

1/2 gallon deep and fucked

Originally Posted By doty_soty:
I figure lots of people post here then never update. It’s been a few months since what was easily the darkest part of my life. Things got close, like way too close, twice during that time. People reaching out to me are what saved me both times, and neither time it was solicited or expected. Last second type of timing too. I’m not a religious person, but I don’t know what to make of that either.

I never knew I could hurt that much and survive. I almost didn’t. It still comes and goes sometimes, but it’s easily manageable now. Anyway, several of you reached out to me during that time, and I’m sure several more had me in your thoughts and prayers. You helped me more than you know, and I’m in your debts. Thank you.

Originally Posted By Hesperus:
Was able to scrape together the cash for a new water heater and Arashi helped install it. About $480 worth of parts.

The old heater was really really old and there was extensive corrosion and some pipe sections had to be replaced but my garage is no longer filling up with water.

One of humanities biggest problems is that when things happen, good or bad. Our reactions tend to be of the default mode. We do not approach our own lives with the degree of consciousness that we are capable of. I know I have been trying to manifest more consciousness in my own life but it is surprisingly difficult.

Originally Posted By doty_soty:
I figure lots of people post here then never update.

Originally Posted By Hesperus:
Was able to scrape together the cash for a new water heater and Arashi helped install it. About $480 worth of parts.

The old heater was really really old and there was extensive corrosion and some pipe sections had to be replaced but my garage is no longer filling up with water.

One of humanities biggest problems is that when things happen, good or bad. Our reactions tend to be of the default mode. We do not approach our own lives with the degree of consciousness that we are capable of. I know I have been trying to manifest more consciousness in my own life but it is surprisingly difficult.

Originally Posted By 0llll0:



Two days ago I re-upped my membership. I hit bronze instead of gold. Sent an email to staff that I made the mistake and could I kick in the difference and get the gold. I got an email back today that it was taken care of, no dime on me, but if I felt like paying it forward.........This seems as good a place to dogpile as any.

@Hesperus .......... Log out and log back in.

Originally Posted By edb66:
I've been away for a while, but the perpetual thread goes on.

I'm not doing too horribly, I'm still on the green side of the grass. I've learned to walk on my prosthetic pretty good, the cirrhosis is in stasis. I'm just healing and gaining strength. Spending 18 months out of the past 3 years hospitalized has really taken a lot out of me. I doubt I'll ever be fully recovered.

Keep your chins up!

Originally Posted By crashburnrepeat:
as someone who struggles with this almost daily,  it's hard when I lose friends near to me to this.  My next door neighbor and friend ended his life Tuesday.  We buried him Saturday, and I sat with his wife and 4 kids in church on Sunday.  

the aftermath of these is so difficult to watch. I get angry at him for leaving this family and all they are going through, but I'm also jealous in a way.....the pain....stops.    I hope he found the peace he needs,  and hope this little family survives this.  

Originally Posted By TommyOneNote:
For those who struggled with motivation direction or purpose what did you do

Originally Posted By TommyOneNote:
For those who struggled with motivation direction or purpose what did you do

Originally Posted By TommyOneNote:
For those who struggled with motivation direction or purpose what did you do

Originally Posted By wtfboombrb:


Start by setting one achievable short term goal, and complete it. Then another, and so on. Your first goal can be something as simple as cleaning the bathroom.

Are you working?

Originally Posted By HALFNATTYGAINZ:

Well you gotta start by asking yourself what do you want out of life? Or atleast who do you want to be? As Arnold would say "not what but who?". And that's a tough question to answer to be honest.
At the same time, Peterson said aim for the highest possible point and work towards that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrIrZRd0pGE
I remember I used to train people and they would say stuff like "oh I can't run, I'm not a runner". Which is a bullshit lie, because everyone can run say 100ft. Cool today guess what we're going to do today? We're going to run 100ft. Then tomorrow 150ft then the next day 200ft........then 1000ft. Then .25 mile. Then a mile, then next thing you know is you're doing 5ks.
So the point is start small man. Start extremely small. Wouldn't a little more organization be better? Everyone could use more of that. Start making your bed, cleaning up a few things. Felt good didn't it? Great now lets take a look at that resume, lets clean up that. And during this process, it's a building process but it's also such a self discovery process. You learn where you want to go by moving.
And if there's nothing more you have 86000 seconds in the day. 86000 seconds for good or negative influences to rub off on you. So lets say you spend an hour in your car every day. Put on a podcast by someone you admire, Jocko, Peterson, you pick the person. Even if it's not active learning, it's passive learning. It's like osmosis.

Originally Posted By Jus228:
Wish me luck, guys...I have 3 interviews in the next 2 days.  2 of them i am excited about.  Both small precision manufacturers, I know for a fact one of them makes gun parts, the other I have a hunch does as well.  Both of those I want to get back into CNC machining.  I did that (although with wood) at Ruger in another life.  

This would give me a huge boost in confidence...Lord knows I need it.  

Originally Posted By Jus228:
Wish me luck, guys...I have 3 interviews in the next 2 days.  2 of them i am excited about.  Both small precision manufacturers, I know for a fact one of them makes gun parts, the other I have a hunch does as well.  Both of those I want to get back into CNC machining.  I did that (although with wood) at Ruger in another life.  

This would give me a huge boost in confidence...Lord knows I need it.  

Originally Posted By TommyOneNote:


Everything feels like a huge lift
I think too much I guess, but you're right, Thank you

Originally Posted By HALFNATTYGAINZ:
I haven't slept well in about 4 days now. Running on about 2-3 hours of sleep a night. I work so much that even when I try to relax my minds still on the topic. And when I push myself to try to meet a deadline it's extremely difficult to go from 100mph to 0mph. This would be an unhealthy balance. I've done better at maintaining my balance but obviously not in the last few days.
The lack my ability to fall asleep has screwed with my head a bit. Thoughts become darker, the judgements, decisions and conclusions are depressive. And I'm writing this out to remind myself this is just temporary.
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Get your sleep in. You mind will thank you.