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Posted: 1/1/2019 4:21:10 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By GreasyEasy:
Your having a really rough time brother, and I truly hate to hear about your pain. Medicine is amazing, and as long as you maintain hope and positive outlook, anything is possible including a recovery for yourself. I can see how it looks like there is no hope, but I can assure from a stranger's perspective that your story reads like there is indeed hope. As you already said, your mother needs you, and I'm sure many others do as well. You've already started to wage the war, and have won a significant battle by putting down the bottle, that's one helluva accomplishment, and one you should remind yourself of. If you were a quitter you'd have never put the bottle down. The amount of fun, love, and life you can enjoy over the next 15 years is worth whatever you have to do in order to make it happen. I know it doesn't seem that way today, but in time if you stay in this fight, you'll win and find happiness again. Stay strong brother, and don't stop fighting! Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By GreasyEasy:
Originally Posted By edb66:
I'm 52, I have cirrhosis (all my fault), the doc says three years without a transplant, maybe fifteen with a transplant. I'm not sure I even want to proceed. I have stopped drinking since June. But I'm not sure the juice is worth the squeeze. I have spent 85 days in the hospital in 2018. I'm down from around 250 to165. I lost most of the muscle mass in my legs, arms, chest and shoulders. I have no stamina. I rarely have enough appetite to eat more than one meal a day. I get paracentesis every two weeks to the tune of 12-15 liters of abdominal fluid. I am beginning the process towards a transplant evaluation. If my mother was not still living I would have already ended it. I'm not scared of dying , but I would prefer it quick peaceful and quiet. As you already said, your mother needs you, and I'm sure many others do as well. You've already started to wage the war, and have won a significant battle by putting down the bottle, that's one helluva accomplishment, and one you should remind yourself of. If you were a quitter you'd have never put the bottle down. The amount of fun, love, and life you can enjoy over the next 15 years is worth whatever you have to do in order to make it happen. I know it doesn't seem that way today, but in time if you stay in this fight, you'll win and find happiness again. Stay strong brother, and don't stop fighting! EDB66 - along with your mother, there are others who care and need you in some way. As he mentioned, you have taken the big step of stopping the bottle, you can change and improve the rest of your life. There is still a lot of living to do. As USJET would continually remind us, there can be good in every day. Find something good today. Don't give up. We're not programmed to give up. Fight to live & enjoy life |
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Posted: 1/1/2019 8:50:55 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb: My problem is nothing in the big scheme of things, but I am feeling a bit down at the probability of being homeless starting on the 29th. Summer here is fine for living out of the car, winter not so much. I could use a few prayers. |
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Posted: 1/1/2019 9:01:43 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By zukguy:
You doing ok brother? You have my info if you need anything. Praying for you. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By zukguy:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb: My problem is nothing in the big scheme of things, but I am feeling a bit down at the probability of being homeless starting on the 29th. Summer here is fine for living out of the car, winter not so much. I could use a few prayers. Things went from an out of control nosedive to pulling out and heading back above the clouds in a weekend. Things are looking good, brother! Now have a roof, food, and will be getting help with finding work. Sometimes we just need to keep the Faith, and our nose to the grindstone. |
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Posted: 1/1/2019 11:19:11 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb: Thanks bro! Things went from an out of control nosedive to pulling out and heading back above the clouds in a weekend. Things are looking good, brother! Now have a roof, food, and will be getting help with finding work. Sometimes we just need to keep the Faith, and our nose to the grindstone. |
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Posted: 1/2/2019 10:42:58 AM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Thanks bro! Things went from an out of control nosedive to pulling out and heading back above the clouds in a weekend. Things are looking good, brother! Now have a roof, food, and will be getting help with finding work. Sometimes we just need to keep the Faith, and our nose to the grindstone. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By zukguy:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb: My problem is nothing in the big scheme of things, but I am feeling a bit down at the probability of being homeless starting on the 29th. Summer here is fine for living out of the car, winter not so much. I could use a few prayers. Things went from an out of control nosedive to pulling out and heading back above the clouds in a weekend. Things are looking good, brother! Now have a roof, food, and will be getting help with finding work. Sometimes we just need to keep the Faith, and our nose to the grindstone. |
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Posted: 1/2/2019 11:11:04 AM EDT
[#6]
I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to interject with my feelings on suicide. I have witnessed a suicide by shotgun, by a 24 year old who was having woman problems. Tried to talk him out of it, and he pointed the shotgun at me hoping I would do it for him. I reminded him quickly that if he shot me, he would be in prison for decades before being executed. He said nothing after that, and put the gun in his mouth and let it rip. He caused a lot of pain for many people over essentially nothing.
Those folks piss me off, that is a coward's way out of a simple situation. There are others which I can sympathize with, terminal patients in pain, and other permanent health issues that become overwhelming. If hope is gone, and they find peace,or are looking for relief, who am I to say they should continue on in pain or other unbearable condition? |
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Posted: 1/2/2019 9:23:09 PM EDT
[#7]
Hopefully this thread will help one person , which will help many. pm for a number I will try and talk /help any . PG
New Year New Directions
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Posted: 1/3/2019 1:11:28 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to interject with my feelings on suicide. I have witnessed a suicide by shotgun, by a 24 year old who was having woman problems. Tried to talk him out of it, and he pointed the shotgun at me hoping I would do it for him. I reminded him quickly that if he shot me, he would be in prison for decades before being executed. He said nothing after that, and put the gun in his mouth and let it rip. He caused a lot of pain for many people over essentially nothing. Those folks piss me off, that is a coward's way out of a simple situation. There are others which I can sympathize with, terminal patients in pain, and other permanent health issues that become overwhelming. If hope is gone, and they find peace,or are looking for relief, who am I to say they should continue on in pain or other unbearable condition? 
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Posted: 1/3/2019 10:43:21 PM EDT
[#9]
I'm sorry to hear that.....
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TX, USA
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Posted: 1/4/2019 2:36:11 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Thanks bro! Things went from an out of control nosedive to pulling out and heading back above the clouds in a weekend. Things are looking good, brother! Now have a roof, food, and will be getting help with finding work. Sometimes we just need to keep the Faith, and our nose to the grindstone. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By zukguy:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb: My problem is nothing in the big scheme of things, but I am feeling a bit down at the probability of being homeless starting on the 29th. Summer here is fine for living out of the car, winter not so much. I could use a few prayers. Things went from an out of control nosedive to pulling out and heading back above the clouds in a weekend. Things are looking good, brother! Now have a roof, food, and will be getting help with finding work. Sometimes we just need to keep the Faith, and our nose to the grindstone. IM if you need to talk. Phone # is available also. Prayers sent. God is good. |
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Posted: 1/4/2019 2:52:11 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
I'm so sorry you're angry. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By lorazepam:
I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to interject with my feelings on suicide. I have witnessed a suicide by shotgun, by a 24 year old who was having woman problems. Tried to talk him out of it, and he pointed the shotgun at me hoping I would do it for him. I reminded him quickly that if he shot me, he would be in prison for decades before being executed. He said nothing after that, and put the gun in his mouth and let it rip. He caused a lot of pain for many people over essentially nothing. Those folks piss me off, that is a coward's way out of a simple situation. There are others which I can sympathize with, terminal patients in pain, and other permanent health issues that become overwhelming. If hope is gone, and they find peace,or are looking for relief, who am I to say they should continue on in pain or other unbearable condition? |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 1/4/2019 2:56:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: SAE]
[#12]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to interject with my feelings on suicide. I have witnessed a suicide by shotgun, by a 24 year old who was having woman problems. Tried to talk him out of it, and he pointed the shotgun at me hoping I would do it for him. I reminded him quickly that if he shot me, he would be in prison for decades before being executed. He said nothing after that, and put the gun in his mouth and let it rip. He caused a lot of pain for many people over essentially nothing. Those folks piss me off, that is a coward's way out of a simple situation. There are others which I can sympathize with, terminal patients in pain, and other permanent health issues that become overwhelming. If hope is gone, and they find peace,or are looking for relief, who am I to say they should continue on in pain or other unbearable condition? I agree with you about what you have said about the lack of moral conscience according to some suicides. But, in the case of these three, over the years, I have at times dealt mentally with a strange sense of guilt about not being there for any of them in their time of major distress. Not that I knew that any one of them was in a bad way at the time, but sometimes I feel like I let them down all the same. Also, as a suicide survivor, you sometimes feel like you really didn't mean as much to the victim as you thought that you did, and it can make a person feel sort of depressed and empty. Maybe something for someone to think about who is having some difficulty concerning battling with this issue now. And if I might be talking to a fellow Arfcommer out there, then I personally want you to know that there are many of us in here, right now, whatever the problem may be, that really and truly cares for you and that loves you too, because you are worth it. In my book, you cannot be a real man and not be able to say these things to your brothers and sisters wherever you might be, or wherever that they or we may be. And that is the truth and we are all here for you if you need us because I have seen the overwhelming responses of caring so many times in here. And I think that you have seen this too, if you have been around here long enough like I have.. 
Never give up and you will never lose. The things that try you have no power over this. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 1/4/2019 3:03:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: SAE]
[#13]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
Not really angry, just worn out fighting issues that have begun to win. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By lorazepam:
I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to interject with my feelings on suicide. I have witnessed a suicide by shotgun, by a 24 year old who was having woman problems. Tried to talk him out of it, and he pointed the shotgun at me hoping I would do it for him. I reminded him quickly that if he shot me, he would be in prison for decades before being executed. He said nothing after that, and put the gun in his mouth and let it rip. He caused a lot of pain for many people over essentially nothing. Those folks piss me off, that is a coward's way out of a simple situation. There are others which I can sympathize with, terminal patients in pain, and other permanent health issues that become overwhelming. If hope is gone, and they find peace,or are looking for relief, who am I to say they should continue on in pain or other unbearable condition? In my experience, some of these matters are within our control, and then some are not, if we don't have the strength to reach out there and grasp them, and then be able to manage them also, and sometimes with a little help to get us back to normal operation again. |
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Posted: 1/4/2019 10:37:56 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
Not really angry, just worn out fighting issues that have begun to win. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By lorazepam:
I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to interject with my feelings on suicide. I have witnessed a suicide by shotgun, by a 24 year old who was having woman problems. Tried to talk him out of it, and he pointed the shotgun at me hoping I would do it for him. I reminded him quickly that if he shot me, he would be in prison for decades before being executed. He said nothing after that, and put the gun in his mouth and let it rip. He caused a lot of pain for many people over essentially nothing. Those folks piss me off, that is a coward's way out of a simple situation. There are others which I can sympathize with, terminal patients in pain, and other permanent health issues that become overwhelming. If hope is gone, and they find peace,or are looking for relief, who am I to say they should continue on in pain or other unbearable condition? |
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Posted: 1/4/2019 8:46:37 PM EDT
[#15]
Fear and anxiety steals tomorrow’s troubles (which are unknown) and dumps them onto today.
Grief and regret steals yesterday’s troubles (which you can’t do anything about) and dumps them onto today. Doesn’t today have enough trouble of it’s own? Why do we add to it? Live in THIS moment. I mean RFN. Look around and you WILL see blessings. Push all that other past and future crap out of your head because it’s out of your hands. It’s easier said than done. I have to remind myself to conjure the strength and discipline to follow my own advice every single day. Sometimes every single hour |
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USA
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Posted: 1/4/2019 11:58:11 PM EDT
[#16]
Sometimes it's pretty hard, and I feel like I've made so many wron choices that there's no way I can ever recover my life to a place where it should be, or should have been. I would never harm myself or others. But sometimes I just feel like giving up, it's hard to keep myself believing that there's a point. But I try. I'm really glad I saw this thread- genuinely didn't think id have any other places to feel safe reaching out to (dont trust most social media)
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Posted: 1/5/2019 12:32:06 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SAE:
Didn't know. IM if you need to talk. Phone # is available also. Prayers sent. God is good. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SAE:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By zukguy:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb: My problem is nothing in the big scheme of things, but I am feeling a bit down at the probability of being homeless starting on the 29th. Summer here is fine for living out of the car, winter not so much. I could use a few prayers. Things went from an out of control nosedive to pulling out and heading back above the clouds in a weekend. Things are looking good, brother! Now have a roof, food, and will be getting help with finding work. Sometimes we just need to keep the Faith, and our nose to the grindstone. IM if you need to talk. Phone # is available also. Prayers sent. God is good. Thanks, Brother. You know, hard times have become much easier to handle ever since I answered Jesus' call. God is giving me the strength to make good out of bad. I think we have this, for now anyways. Prayers and encouragement from brethren are always welcome, though! |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 1/5/2019 1:20:10 AM EDT
[#18]
In.
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LA, USA
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Posted: 1/5/2019 4:16:41 AM EDT
[#19]
I have posted here before and have thanks for the help. But my old demons are back. I can't even tell my mom or brother what is wrong, because I feel they will think bad of me. I guess it's in my country boy nature that my mom is very important. I do not not want to kill myself or anyone else but damn I feel like I am in madness........
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USA
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Posted: 1/5/2019 11:00:53 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Clown_Gun]
[#20]
Done.
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Posted: 1/5/2019 11:21:12 AM EDT
[#21]
@Clown_Gun
Are you signed up with your county's health department for medical care? Are there volunteer orgs nearby that can get you food? Church groups often provide needs for those without. |
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Posted: 1/5/2019 11:41:30 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By rnurse:
I have posted here before and have thanks for the help. But my old demons are back. I can't even tell my mom or brother what is wrong, because I feel they will think bad of me. I guess it's in my country boy nature that my mom is very important. I do not not want to kill myself or anyone else but damn I feel like I am in madness........ & you are right - Mom is very important, & you are as well. Stay strong, & stay in touch here, may help w/the demons |
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Posted: 1/5/2019 11:46:55 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
@Clown_Gun Are you signed up with your county's health department for medical care? Are there volunteer orgs nearby that can get you food? Church groups often provide needs for those without. some local folks who could be of assistance, even if it's other job options. Good luck, & hang in there |
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Posted: 1/6/2019 3:54:20 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb: What kind of issues, if you don't mind me asking? |
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Posted: 1/6/2019 10:53:17 PM EDT
[#25]
I look back and try to remember when I was actually content. It has go back to my youth in the 70s. I've had very few days since, where i could lay my head down at night and think to myself, "This was a good day."
I can't even point to a cause. I've had life issues, like everybody else. Financial setbacks, and personal setbacks. I never seem to be able to mentally recover. Very few meaningless victories and many defeats. Gave up boozing over 25 years ago. That didn't help. Talked to councilor, preacher, doctors, even a Lakota spirital. No advice or script helped. Diet and exercise = no help. Done good deeds for others = no help. Took a couple vacations = no help. I've led a joyless life. I used have a sense of humor. It's gone. Nothing is funny to me. Even the most common of joys have eluded me. No children of my own. Married poorly. Divorced poorly. I had a nagging GF that I tolerated for much too long. She never missed a chance to find something to criticize me about. Haven't spoken to her in almost a year. She's moved on. She got back with her former BF and they're right across my street. I haven't felt any better about it than the day we split. I've done some good things, or so I thought at the time. Raised my former wife's grandson. He's had some special needs issues. I tried to instill confidence and self reliance in him. I guess I failed at that too. Protected him from being murdered by some low life methheads. That was a night for the books. The best thing I've ever done. I have to think I was put on earth just for that moment, and that moment's passed now. I don't know. I guess I really am pretty much useless, but no plan eat my pistol. I think because I don't want to leave a mess, and because I'm finally making a little bit of money and I want to leave something behind for my step grandson. I'm not seeking advice. Venting, mostly. I got nobody else. |
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Posted: 1/6/2019 11:33:59 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
Tinnitus that is taking over as I go deaf. Loud enough to wake me up at times. My hearing aids used to help overcome it, but not as much anymore. Working through it is exhausting at times. I have a good idea what hell sounds like. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb: What kind of issues, if you don't mind me asking?
My hearing aids are falling apart. Need to get scheduled for a new set. My interpersonal communications are suffering big time. |
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Posted: 1/6/2019 11:49:41 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Rezneck:
I look back and try to remember when I was actually content. It has go back to my youth in the 70s. I've had very few days since, where i could lay my head down at night and think to myself, "This was a good day." I can't even point to a cause. I've had life issues, like everybody else. Financial setbacks, and personal setbacks. I never seem to be able to mentally recover. Very few meaningless victories and many defeats. Gave up boozing over 25 years ago. That didn't help. Talked to councilor, preacher, doctors, even a Lakota spirital. No advice or script helped. Diet and exercise = no help. Done good deeds for others = no help. Took a couple vacations = no help. I've led a joyless life. I used have a sense of humor. It's gone. Nothing is funny to me. Even the most common of joys have eluded me. No children of my own. Married poorly. Divorced poorly. I had a nagging GF that I tolerated for much too long. She never missed a chance to find something to criticize me about. Haven't spoken to her in almost a year. She's moved on. She got back with her former BF and they're right across my street. I haven't felt any better about it than the day we split. I've done some good things, or so I thought at the time. Raised my former wife's grandson. He's had some special needs issues. I tried to instill confidence and self reliance in him. I guess I failed at that too. Protected him from being murdered by some low life methheads. That was a night for the books. The best thing I've ever done. I have to think I was put on earth just for that moment, and that moment's passed now. I don't know. I guess I really am pretty much useless, but no plan eat my pistol. I think because I don't want to leave a mess, and because I'm finally making a little bit of money and I want to leave something behind for my step grandson. I'm not seeking advice. Venting, mostly. I got nobody else. |
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Posted: 1/7/2019 12:20:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: ch3no2]
[#28]
I’ve been in the same dark places some of you are in now.
And more recently than I’d rather admit in an open forum (I’ll just leave it at that). As impossible as it may seem, good things can and do happen. Sometimes (often times) it’s hard to see those good things, but they ARE real. Embrace them, and build upon them. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. YOU are the light in someone’s life. Remember that. |
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Posted: 1/7/2019 4:29:04 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Whoa. Thought I was reading my life story for a minute. Two big differences, though. I've become very good at leaving baggage behind, and a recent conversion from walking in the flesh to walking in God's Spirit has done wonders in providing strength every day, all day. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By Rezneck:
I look back and try to remember when I was actually content. It has go back to my youth in the 70s. I've had very few days since, where i could lay my head down at night and think to myself, "This was a good day." I can't even point to a cause. I've had life issues, like everybody else. Financial setbacks, and personal setbacks. I never seem to be able to mentally recover. Very few meaningless victories and many defeats. Gave up boozing over 25 years ago. That didn't help. Talked to councilor, preacher, doctors, even a Lakota spirital. No advice or script helped. Diet and exercise = no help. Done good deeds for others = no help. Took a couple vacations = no help. I've led a joyless life. I used have a sense of humor. It's gone. Nothing is funny to me. Even the most common of joys have eluded me. No children of my own. Married poorly. Divorced poorly. I had a nagging GF that I tolerated for much too long. She never missed a chance to find something to criticize me about. Haven't spoken to her in almost a year. She's moved on. She got back with her former BF and they're right across my street. I haven't felt any better about it than the day we split. I've done some good things, or so I thought at the time. Raised my former wife's grandson. He's had some special needs issues. I tried to instill confidence and self reliance in him. I guess I failed at that too. Protected him from being murdered by some low life methheads. That was a night for the books. The best thing I've ever done. I have to think I was put on earth just for that moment, and that moment's passed now. I don't know. I guess I really am pretty much useless, but no plan eat my pistol. I think because I don't want to leave a mess, and because I'm finally making a little bit of money and I want to leave something behind for my step grandson. I'm not seeking advice. Venting, mostly. I got nobody else. |
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Posted: 1/8/2019 10:41:42 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Clown_Gun:
I'm 56 years old. I have no friends. I have no family of my own (wife, kids), just a sister and her abusive alcoholic husband. I live in a 5th-wheel trailer that I don't own in a shitty trailer park in a dead little town in the middle of fucking nowhere. I have a job, but no benefits yet. If I were working full time it would take about 6 months to become eligible. I'm lucky if I can get 32 hours 2 weeks in a row. I had a widowmaker heart attack when I was 47. Recent aches and pains have me concerned, but I have no insurance. I also have no money left. I'm bankrupt. No money for a doctor. No money for a dentist. No money for the surgery my dog needs. No money for soap, shampoo, etc. No money for even a haircut. No money to pay bills. No money for food. I guess I really am just a "worthless piece of shit" like my brother-in-law says. Fuck it. |
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Posted: 1/8/2019 10:49:35 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By lorazepam:
Tinnitus that is taking over as I go deaf. Loud enough to wake me up at times. My hearing aids used to help overcome it, but not as much anymore. Working through it is exhausting at times. I have a good idea what hell sounds like. |
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ZWE
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Posted: 1/8/2019 5:40:40 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By rnurse:
I have posted here before and have thanks for the help. But my old demons are back. I can't even tell my mom or brother what is wrong, because I feel they will think bad of me. I guess it's in my country boy nature that my mom is very important. I do not not want to kill myself or anyone else but damn I feel like I am in madness........ |
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Posted: 1/8/2019 5:41:28 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb: Whoa. Thought I was reading my life story for a minute. Two big differences, though. I've become very good at leaving baggage behind, and a recent conversion from walking in the flesh to walking in God's Spirit has done wonders in providing strength every day, all day. There simply isn’t any other way but through Him |
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Posted: 1/9/2019 12:26:22 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By ch3no2:
And it’s only been through His grace that I’ve begun to dig myself out of the hole I’m in. There simply isn’t any other way but through Him Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By ch3no2:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb: Whoa. Thought I was reading my life story for a minute. Two big differences, though. I've become very good at leaving baggage behind, and a recent conversion from walking in the flesh to walking in God's Spirit has done wonders in providing strength every day, all day. There simply isn’t any other way but through Him |
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USA
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Posted: 1/10/2019 3:50:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DT-USA]
[#35]
hooray.
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NM, USA
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Posted: 1/10/2019 4:28:56 PM EDT
[#36]
Life took a huge sh*t on me the end of 2018. I didn't post here for a while. Just wanted to let everyone know that I am on the up. I will be fine. I am still working through the situation but I am focusing on me and not the situation. All will be well. I really don't post much about my personal life here anymore. All I am going to say is now I am a single man. This is one of the most difficult tests of my life that I have ever been through. I am going to take life by the balls and kick it in the teeth in 2019.
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Posted: 1/10/2019 5:25:30 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SISUltra:
Life took a huge sh*t on me the end of 2018. I didn't post here for a while. Just wanted to let everyone know that I am on the up. I will be fine. I am still working through the situation but I am focusing on me and not the situation. All will be well. I really don't post much about my personal life here anymore. All I am going to say is now I am a single man. This is one of the most difficult tests of my life that I have ever been through. I am going to take life by the balls and kick it in the teeth in 2019. |
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Posted: 1/10/2019 11:04:47 PM EDT
[#38]
You never know whom needs help
https://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/2180949_GoFundMe-for-my-brother.html |
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Posted: 1/10/2019 11:41:10 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By jefflebowski:
You never know whom needs help
https://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/2180949_GoFundMe-for-my-brother.html |
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Posted: 1/11/2019 4:18:21 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
You hanging in there, brother? You going to be ok? Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By jefflebowski:
You never know whom needs help
https://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/2180949_GoFundMe-for-my-brother.html |
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Posted: 1/12/2019 8:05:16 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By jefflebowski:
Yeah, thanks man. Just been a tough few days. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By jefflebowski:
Originally Posted By wtfboombrb:
Originally Posted By jefflebowski:
You never know whom needs help
https://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/2180949_GoFundMe-for-my-brother.html |
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Posted: 1/15/2019 10:30:58 PM EDT
[#42]
While you still breathe ... there is hope.
Suicide spreads so much suffering.
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Posted: 1/15/2019 11:27:44 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Paul:
While you still breathe ... there is hope. Suicide spreads so much suffering. |
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Posted: 1/16/2019 1:36:28 AM EDT
[#44]
I just wanted to say that this thread has helped me. Thank all of you.
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Posted: 1/17/2019 1:01:48 AM EDT
[#45]
Want to vent, stupid things keep me up at night I guess. I've bitched about my old job multiple times on here, but I just can't let it go. Used to teach at my dream job in my dream county. Always wanted to live and be there for as long as I can remember.
Ate a lot of shit from coworker to the point I said to hell with it and went back to school. Wasted my 20's there, engaged twice, dated a lot all fizzled out due to strain from work. Won't bore anyone with details, however I am bitter about it.... I figured that getting out would help, but it really hasn't... My professors know where I taught and ask questions all the time about it, I am as polite and friendly as possible, but in the back of my mind, thinking of that job makes me sick... I know I need to grow up. If anyone has figured out how to get over being bitter, let me know how, I haven't found anything that works.... |
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Posted: 1/17/2019 10:12:11 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By InternationalM:
Want to vent, stupid things keep me up at night I guess. I've bitched about my old job multiple times on here, but I just can't let it go. Used to teach at my dream job in my dream county. Always wanted to live and be there for as long as I can remember. Ate a lot of shit from coworker to the point I said to hell with it and went back to school. Wasted my 20's there, engaged twice, dated a lot all fizzled out due to strain from work. Won't bore anyone with details, however I am bitter about it.... I figured that getting out would help, but it really hasn't... My professors know where I taught and ask questions all the time about it, I am as polite and friendly as possible, but in the back of my mind, thinking of that job makes me sick... I know I need to grow up. If anyone has figured out how to get over being bitter, let me know how, I haven't found anything that works.... |
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Posted: 1/17/2019 10:37:59 AM EDT
[#47]
From Matthew 11
28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. 30 “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” |
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Posted: 1/18/2019 12:42:45 PM EDT
[#48]
I've lost a few relatives to suicide now. My nephew killed himself last week after his sister overdosed 3 months ago. There are small signs when someone is about to do it. My other niece told me he was texting her, telling her how much he hurt. He never texted me. I knew his sister's death affected him, and I didn't do jack to reach out to him and console him. There is another nephew, and I saw him at the funeral home the other day. He looked really disheveled. I'm going to contact him and see if I can help.
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Posted: 1/19/2019 10:03:22 AM EDT
[#49]
Thanks for creating this post, sticky post, whatever you call it.
November 18, 2013 was a bad day for me. No need to go into details, but I ‘woke up’ when somehow I heard the ER doc talking to my sisters and wife about what my medical situation looked like- it was not good. Not really any kind of out of body experience and I wasn’t dead, but right then I decided that I wanted to live. Went voluntarily on a 5 day “vacation”, had some not so good head shrinkers at first, but then got placed with a very fine doctor- he was an old Coon-ass , but by far the best doctor I have ever had. Between him, lotta prayer, and taking time out for myself, i’m much, much better. I’ve lost two close cousins and a friend I’d known literally all my life to suicide. There’s far, far more people than I certainly thought that DO care and are devistated when it happens. Now, I’ve got enough medical problems to sink the entire pacific fleet (genetics and some from being a “hold my beer and watch this!” guy growing up), bills, etc. But I’ve learned to pray, don’t sweat the stuff you can’t do anything about, and do your best to enjoy every single second you can. So many things can happen that are out of our control.. but.. I’ve got the good Lord above who, among so many more important things, blessed me with being a citizen of the greatest country in history (even blessed to be in the greatest region-the South!). Even with all my little piss ant problems, it’s not worth harming myself, and you better believe I’ll fight death until He calls me home. Y’all have no idea how much better posting this made my “feels”. Hopefully it’ll help someone. Thanks for letting me vent. If you’re thinking about doing something bad, talk to SOMEONE, and talk thru it..nothing is worth taking your own life. |
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Posted: 1/19/2019 10:17:06 PM EDT
[#50]
I'm no pro and I've had my share of dark times and darker thoughts. But if you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to prop you up, don't hesitate to contact me.
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