Originally Posted By Red_Label:
This is the most valuable thread on Arf.

I've been dealing with depression for a couple of years now. It's affected my thought processes and my life. Most of it stems from chronic lumbar and neck pain. But it's also some seasonal affective disorder and a few other things. Under a doc's care, I've tried several medications over the past year or two, but none helped. I just ordered a sun lamp thingy a few days ago. Hoping that helps. The wife and I lost our beloved akita of ten years, two weeks ago today. That's been rough as well. I've been forcing myself to get up and go for walks and bike rides lately, even though I don't feel like doing anything. It doesn't "fix" things, but I usually do feel better after I've done something active. I usually try to get the wife to go with me, so we can do things together. I worry that if I let it, depression will poison our relationship. I've seen it happen to couples. I have to do my part to keep the romance alive in our relationship. To lose that while fighting depression would be damned difficult. This thread reminds me to keep getting off my ass and living, and loving. People who don't deal with depression don't understand how that could be unnatural. But when you're struggling in life, it's like being pounded by waves in a heavy surf... just trying to keep your head above water. During the hard days, you grow weary of the struggle.

I'm home from work this afternoon with a brutal headache (I'm having my C6 disk replaced in two weeks). But when my wife gets home from her dentist's appointment, I'll take her hand and go for another walk together. Just focus on putting one foot in front of the other... one day at a time.

Originally Posted By wtfboombrb:

Have you had blood work done and been checked for Vitamin D3 levels?

Originally Posted By Mak_380:
It turns out some folks lack an amino acid that crosses the blood-brain barrier.
Without this amino acid, certain classes of drugs won't work, like Paxil.

It *MIGHT* be worth asking a doctor about genetic testing, with the idea of learning if this situation is applicable.

Then the doctor can quit prescribing things that don't work and try things that have a better chance of working.

Just something to think about. Because things *can* get better.

Originally Posted By HTHF:
The holidays are coming. A wonderful time of year for sure. It can however be a tough time of year for many folks. Allot of people who are struggling can go into a very dark place this time of year. If you know someone who might be at risk, reach out and touch base before they are in crisis. Know someone who has had a hard time in the past? See where they are at if you don't already know. If a crisis can be averted it is a good thing, so look in on those who might be at risk. Wishing everyone the best as we come into what I hope will be a joyful holiday season.

Originally Posted By Hachiko:
"When people lose hope, they lose their ability to dream for the future. Despair replaces joy. Fear replaces faith. Anxiety replaces prayer. Insecurity replaces confidence. Tomorrow’s dreams are replaced by nightmares. It’s a lousy way to live".

Every day that goes by for me, I lose what little hope I had to begin with.

Originally Posted By Hachiko:
"When people lose hope, they lose their ability to dream for the future. Despair replaces joy. Fear replaces faith. Anxiety replaces prayer. Insecurity replaces confidence. Tomorrow’s dreams are replaced by nightmares. It’s a lousy way to live".

Every day that goes by for me, I lose what little hope I had to begin with.

Originally Posted By Hachiko:
"When people lose hope, they lose their ability to dream for the future. Despair replaces joy. Fear replaces faith. Anxiety replaces prayer. Insecurity replaces confidence. Tomorrow’s dreams are replaced by nightmares. It’s a lousy way to live".

Every day that goes by for me, I lose what little hope I had to begin with.

Originally Posted By Hachiko:
I can't seem to be able to catch my breath, or get up from the mat before I get hit again.

Originally Posted By HTHF:
The holidays are coming. A wonderful time of year for sure. It can however be a tough time of year for many folks. Allot of people who are struggling can go into a very dark place this time of year. If you know someone who might be at risk, reach out and touch base before they are in crisis. Know someone who has had a hard time in the past? See where they are at if you don't already know. If a crisis can be averted it is a good thing, so look in on those who might be at risk. Wishing everyone the best as we come into what I hope will be a joyful holiday season.

According to Buettner, the concept of ikigai is not exclusive to Okinawans: “there might not be a word for it but in all four blue zones such as Sardinia and Nicoya Peninsula, the same concept exists among people living long lives.”
Buettner suggests making three lists: your values, things you like to do, and things you are good at. The cross section of the three lists is your ikigai.

Thomas Oppong - Columnist at Inc. Magazine. Featured at Business Insider, Forbes, Entrepreneur, etc.
Jan 10·4 min read
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life Might Just Help You Live a More Fulfilling Life
Photo by Tianshu Liu on Unsplash

In Japan, millions of people have ikigai (pronounced Ick-ee-guy)— a reason to jump out of bed each morning.

What’s your reason for getting up in the morning?

The Japanese island of Okinawa, where ikigai has its origins, is said to be home to the largest population of centenarians in the world.

Could the concept of ikigai contribute to longevity?

Dan Buettner, author of Blue Zones: Lessons on Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest, believes it does.

According to Buettner, the concept of ikigai is not exclusive to Okinawans: “there might not be a word for it but in all four blue zones such as Sardinia and Nicoya Peninsula, the same concept exists among people living long lives.”
Buettner suggests making three lists: your values, things you like to do, and things you are good at. The cross section of the three lists is your ikigai.

Studies show that losing one’s purpose can have a detrimental effect.
American mythologist and author Joseph Campbell once said, “My general formula for my students is “Follow your bliss.” Find where it is, and don’t be afraid to follow it.”

“Your ikigai is at the intersection of what you are good at and what you love doing,” says Hector Garcia, the co-author of Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life. He writes,“Just as humans have lusted after objects and money since the dawn of time, other humans have felt dissatisfaction at the relentless pursuit of money and fame and have instead focused on something bigger than their own material wealth. This has over the years been described using many different words and practices, but always hearkening back to the central core of meaningfulness in life.”
Image: Toronto Star

ikigai is seen as the convergence of four primary elements:
•What you love (your passion)
•What the world needs (your mission)
•What you are good at (your vocation)
•What you can get paid for (your profession)

Discovering your own ikigai is said to bring fulfilment, happiness and make you live longer.
Want to find your Ikigai? Ask yourself the following four questions:
1. What do I love?
2. What am I good at?
3. What can I be paid for now?—?or something that could transform into my future hustle?
4. What does the world need?

In their book Ikigai The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles break down the ten rules that can help anyone find their own ikigai.
1. Stay active and don’t retire
2. Leave urgency behind and adopt a slower pace of life
3. Only eat until you are 80 per cent full
4. Surround yourself with good friends
5. Get in shape through daily, gentle exercise
6. Smile and acknowledge people around you
7. Reconnect with nature
8. Give thanks to anything that brightens our day and makes us feel alive.
9. Live in the moment
10. Follow your ikigai
What you deeply care about can unlock your ikigai

Follow your curiosity.

Philosopher and civil rights leader Howard W Thurman said, “Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.” … “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

The problem for millions of people is that they stop being curious about new experiences as they assume responsiblities and build routines.

Their sense of wonder starts to escape them.

But you can change that, especially if you are still looking for meaning and fulfilment in what you do daily.

Albert Einstein encourages us to pursue our curiosities. He once said:
“Don’t think about why you question, simply don’t stop questioning. Don’t worry about what you can’t answer, and don’t try to explain what you can’t know. Curiosity is its own reason. Aren’t you in awe when you contemplate the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure behind reality? And this is the miracle of the human mind?—?to use its constructions, concepts, and formulas as tools to explain what man sees, feels and touches. Try to comprehend a little more each day. Have holy curiosity.”

A classic example is Steve Jobs’ curiosity for typefaces which led him to attend a seemingly useless class on typography and to develop his design sensibility.

Later, this sensibility became an essential part of Apple computers and Apple’s core differentiator in the market.

We are born curious. Our insatiable drive to learn, invent, explore, and study deserves to have the same status as every other drive in our lives.

Fulfilment is fast becoming the main priority for most of us. Millions of people still struggle to find what they are meant to do. What excites them. What makes them lose the sense of time. What brings out the best in them.
“Our intuition and curiosity are very powerful internal compasses to help us connect with our ikigai,” Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles write.

What is the one simple thing you could do or be today that would be an expression of your ikigai?

Find it and pursue it with all you have, anything less is not worth your limited time on planet earth.
Before you go…

Originally Posted By footdoc1:
Something changed in my mid-twenties and now it is a strong struggle to get out of bed.

Originally Posted By Gingerbreadman:
I'm guessing that there was a typo in there. Not giving you any crap over it, just wanting to make sure I understood what you meant.

My band-aid fix, if I did get that right, is to drink a lot of water before going to bed. I usually have a water bottle on the night stand. If I have to get up in the middle of the night, so be it. Drink some more before going back to bed. I let my body give me a reason to get out of bed, even if my mind won't.

Originally Posted By footdoc1:

No typo.  Something changed around 24-25 and all of a sudden I became balling my eyes out depressed.  I had my younger brother run away from home at the same time, but I'd never felt that way before.  Went on antidepressants and they helped for a little while, but every fall I lose my mind.  To the extent I have to warn my wife that it's happening.  I don't know if it's from the head trauma when I was younger or what, but I never experienced this until my mid twenties.  Every year since, I just try to ride it out and minimize the impact.

I had never suffered from depression or anxiety and then it was like a switch went off.  I was to the ER for panic attacks every couple of months not knowing if I was having a heart attack.

Originally Posted By ch3no2:

Thank you for posting that

Originally Posted By warlord:
"Love those who will love you when you have nothing to offer but your company"

Originally Posted By widowed2012:
@warlord

I'm going to this year I think.  I just hope the Vikings aren't playing that day.  The only thing that ever really helped was going to the range but, I've sold off most of my collection and ammo so don't shoot as much as I should now.

Originally Posted By SISUltra:
I am having a really hard time guys.  My wife and partner of 16 years, the love of my life just up and separated from me.  One day we were fine and the next day she tells me she no longer loves me and it's over.

I am doing my best to detach because trying to save my marriage is just pushing her further away.  I am literally in a limbo of hell, all by myself, waiting for her to decide if she wants to divorce or reconcile.  I am deeply hurt and absolutely heart broken.

I may need to talk to someone very soon.  I am having a hard time dealing with this rush of sadness.   I have never been this sad in my life.

I have a counselor, but I can't shake this feeling at all.  I feel like I'm drowning.  I am ok when I am busy at work but when the day ends the emptiness rushes back in with full force.  This has literally brought me to my knees.  I cant believe this is happening.

Originally Posted By warlord:
Yeah, I hear you on that. Personally I haven't gone shooting in a number of years myself, I probably just will them to my sons. Classic symptoms of depression, you loose interest in things that you found pleasurable in the past.

ETA: Actually, I am going to ask my sons to see if they want my hardware, and if they say "no,' then I will probably start selling them off, so that at least someone else can enjoy them, and I can use the extra cash. Selling firearms hardware is not an easy endeavor in Calif every transaction must go through a FFL, but I acquired them before Calif became so blue.

Originally Posted By davidb1982:
It’s 10:26AM and I just forced myself to get out of bed. Depression has been on and off for three years since my divorce. I met someone new who I am living with but to be honest I’m not happy at all. We have a four month old who I love dearly but it wasn’t planned.

I’m in a commission only job which doesn’t help anything but I’m hoping to change that soon and getting my resume out there today when I head into the office. I just have zero motivation to do anything.

I won’t go into much detail at the moment but let’s just say there is still a lot of love there between my ex wife and I. I haven’t done anything inappropriate while with my gf but it is something the ex and I have talked about. She wants to see changes before anything happens though.

Sometimes I wonder if my gf is cheating on me. If she is, I really don’t care. Just let me know. Unfortunately if something did happen and I moved out. I’d have to move in with my parents for a few which I have zero desire to do. I’d be more miserable there than I am here.

Anyways...need to jump in the shower and just start moving. Just needed to vent. I know I have it better than others but I hate being depressed. Feel like I’m on a hamster wheel.