Today was my first time in literally years that I have sat on a bare toilet seat, without placing toilet paper between the seat and my legs.

Even my own.


Seriously.



It was cold.

No way in hell will I ever do it in a public restroom!!

Nasty!

Good thing it was cold. It's the warm ones that are yucky.

You and Imbroglio outta go camping.  TOGETHER

I bet the inside of your head is a swirling cauldron of hell. You've got issues.

I'm with you on that one. I fucking HATE public restrooms! It has to be serious for me to use one. Otherwise I will cramp it up and hold it till I get home.

Public restrooms are just vile disgusting depositories for who knows what kind of volitile germs, bacteria, and other assorted creepy crawlies.

Even when urinating I use my foot to lift the lid and flush the toilet so I don't have to touch anything.

Who knows what kind of infected human scum has entered there before you and violated that public arena?

Now before you go getting Fruedian on me people, take a look at the wierdos around you at a gas station and tell me how close you want to get something they touch.

 

God, and I thought I was the only one![:D]

... I'll wait as long as possible to get home.  

Here's something I cannot stand:

You're in a public facility, you hear some asshole go though whole routine, zips his pants and flys out WITHOUT washing!
Get back to your dinner table and there is that asshole finger-food fondling his and his kids food. WTF?

... Freaking nasty uncivilized heathens

You know what's the WORST part about using the public restroom?
Trying to open the door to leave without touching the doorhandle! [puke]

Think about it.

... There is an easy solution to that too. If it's a fast food joint with those damned air blowers take a napkin. Otherwise, use the paper towel you just washed your hands with!

Opening the door w/o touching the handle?

I always grab a paper towel to use on the door handle on the way out.  Then I hold the door open with my foot and make a throw toward the garbage can.  God I'm sick![:D]

thats what i was just gonna say macallan.  that is the worst thing.  all those people that dont wash their hands... thats the first thing they touch after they finish their business.  it nasty to think whats on that handle.  just one of those things i guess...  i feel the same way about railings on stairs and excalators.  you cant pay me to put my hands on them.  im not a germ freak but i avoid the ones i can.

The more wretched and sewage-like the restroom, the less likely there'll be ANY paper around (even TP).

Heck, I even use a paper towel to turn the faucet on and off.  Flush with my foot, of course!

The bad part, is if you have to flush [i]before[/i] you sit.[puke]

Amen. There is ALWAYS a way around touching things in a public restroom.  

Hey, by the way, anybody ever have to "limbo" to get in one of the pay toilets?  You can get mighty soiled if you fall!

I saw on the news a few nights ago that there's more evil bacteria on the average office worker's desk than there is on the toilet seat in most public restrooms. Hope that makes you feel better.

Back in high school biology class, we did that exact test. We had to swab practiclly everything and culture it. The samples were first from areas around the school, then we went out in public.

Oddly enough the toilet seat was the cleanest! Even the porta-john toilets were good. Hell the cafeteria counter top was worse, even after they cleaned it!

The worst place for nasties, a keyboard.

Door handles were in the middle, bathroom or standard door handles. Really not that bad.

Faucet handles were slightly above door handles.

So... don't fret about putting your bare bottom on a toilet seat. Door and faucet handles, ehhh. But your keyboard, get surgical gloves!

And I thought it was just me! I spent a week in Seattle and held it until I got back home. Funny thing is...after the first day or two I didn't have to go.[:D]rocko

Bathroom technique 101

1. Do your business.
2. Wash hands.
3. Dry hands with paper towel.
4. Use same paper towel to open door.
5. Hold door open with foot.
6. Throw paper towel in trash.
7. Leave.

If the trash can is not next to the door (rare), wad it up and try a hoop shot into the can. If you are the PC type, take paper towel with you and throw in nearest available trash receptacle.

Follow this technique, also watching doorknobs, etc., and there is a very good chance you will not come down with the flu, or a cold, when everyone else in the office is sick.

We just had this discussion at work. You forgot about the handle on the paper towel dispenser...Think about it!

Add to the top of the list: Hit the paper towel handle a few times when you walk into the bathroom(single stall type) to get your towel ready first...

You're not paranoid if they ARE out to get you.


ByteTheBullet (-:

The [red]WORST[/red] thing is when you get splashback in a public john.  

Yep, that's what I do. If there isn't a trash can near by, I'll just wad it up and put it in my pocket for latter disposal, but I've noticed the majority of restaurants have a trash can by the door, for I suspect exactly this reason...

Nope, didn't forget it. I figure that my chances are excellent that anyone getting paper towel has just washed his hands, and can be removed from my threat list ;)

Fair enuff. What if he just piddled on himself and only wanted to 'towel off'?

I have seen it, go to any sporting event...well they usually run out of towels there any way.

ByteTheBullet (-:

I just had to post this again:

THE GHOST POO
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper, but
there's no poo in the bowl.
THE CLEAN POO
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but there's
no poo on the toilet paper.
THE WET POO
You wipe your bottom fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end
up putting toilet paper between your bottom and your underwear so you
don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
THE SECOND WAVE POO
This poo happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees,
and you suddenly realise you have to poo some more.
THE BRAIN HEMORRAHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE POO
Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Poo". You have to strain so
much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
THE CORN POO
No explanation necessary.
THE LINCOLN LOG POO
The kind of poo that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down
without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
THE NOTORIUS DRINKER POO
The kind of poo you have the morning after a long night of drinking.
It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the
toilet bowl after you flush.
THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD POO" POO
The kind where you want to poo, but even after straining your guts out,
all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
THE WET CHEEKS POO
Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your
bottom so fast that your cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
THE LIQUID POO
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your bottom,
splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time,
chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
THE MEXICAN FOOD POO
A class all its own.
THE CROWD PLEASER
This poo is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to
show it to someone before flushing.
THE MOOD ENHANCER
This poo occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing
you to be your old self again.
THE RITUAL
This poo occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the
aid of a newspaper.
THE GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS POO
A poo so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
THE AFTERSHOCK POO
This poo has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity
within the next 7 hours is affected.
THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" POO
This is any poo created in the presence of another person.
THE GROANER
A poo so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
THE FLOATER
Characterised by its floatability, this poo has been known to
resurface after many flushings.

CONT:

THE RANGER
A poo which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a
rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push
it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
THE PHANTOM POO
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting
it there.
THE PEEK-A-BOO POO
Now you see it, now you don't. This poo is playing games with you.
Requires patience and muscle control.
THE BOMBSHELL
A poo that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either
inappropriate to poo or you are nowhere near pooing facilities.
THE SNAKE CHARMER
A long skinny poo which has managed to coil itself into a frightening
position - usually harmless.
THE OLYMPIC POO
This poo occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive
event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the
Drinker's Poo.
THE BACK-TO-NATURE POO
This poo may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the
woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN POO
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from
God when you actually CAN'T poo.
PREMEDITATED POO
Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
POOZOPHERENIA
Fear of pooing - can be fatal!
ENERGIZER vs DURACELL POO
Also known as a "Still Going" poo.
THE POWER DUMP POO
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when
you're done.
THE SPINAL TAP POO
The kind of poo that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got be
coming out sideways.
THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY BOTTOM" POO
Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Poos. The shape and size
of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in
the rectum for some time afterwards.
THE PORRIDGE POO
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You
have two choices: (a) flush and keep gong, or (b) risk it piling up to
your butt while you sit there helpless.
THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" POO
When the bag of Dorritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of
your rectum on the way out in the morning.
THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" POO
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn
anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently
near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gaggin and gasping for air.

You guys know nothing.  Come and let me tell you about the joys of the port-o-john.

Ever had a frozen turd poke you in the ass?  Happened to a friend of mine on a busy jobsite, the temperature was hovering around zero that day.  Of course we all had to go look.

Even more fun is dropping a large rock down the vent tube and waiting for the screams when the mint blue tidal wave hits them in the ass.  Or stuffing a rag in the vent in the self burning crappers that are used on remote jobsites(Don't block the door with a truck and then stuff the rag in the vent...a laborer almost died that day).  Or throwing rocks at it.  Don't forget the old favorite of bumping it with your work truck.  Be sure and listen for the sloshing sounds.

Hell yeah! That's the way I do it. I am a germophobe.

Sounds like his Dad must have taught him not to piss on his hands when he takes a leak.[;D]
Borg

That's the best kind. In. Out. No muss, no fuss.

I used to work with a guy who claimed he was in his 60's but looked like he was in his 90's. He had some kind of problem with his colon and I felt sorry for the guy. He had a couple of "accidents" and resorted to keeping a spare pair of underwear in his locker. The other guys at work made fun of him but I am a strong believer in Karma. I don't want to live like that! I had the misfortune of being in the head at the same time as he one day. It sounded like someone was pouring a pitcher of water into the toilet. He zipped up and proceeded to walk out without washing his hands.

Reminds me of that story...

"TIMBER!!"

[i][b]I bet the inside of your head is a swirling cauldron of hell. You've got issues.[/i][/b]

This goes for a whole bunch of you.[whacko]

This may be alittle off topic, but related. You know those little mints in the bowl at the front of the restaurant. I read a report where they tested those little mints to see what was on them since they were in the open. Guess what they found?
URINE

I dont care how free of bacteria a toilet seat is, I ain't gonna touch it unless it's mine...

On a related note, the modern restroom is really starting to tick me off: hand dryers that are barely adequate for that - and you can't dry your face or blow your nose, automatic faucets that don't work, automatic flushers that splash you every 15 seconds because the sensors are off.

I was in Scotland a month ago, and it seems that the Scots (haha) don't like paper products, I went into maybe one bathroom that had paper towels and none of the hotel bathrooms even had tissues!  The toilet paper was these annoying little squares from napkin dispenser like things...

That problem apparantly is rampant at my office.  Even the CEO thinks he's too good to wash.  And it's a problem for people doing a #1 AND #2.  These people were raised in a barn or something.  I've heard about the studies that the toilet is cleaner than everything else.  Well that's not the case for seats here.  Some people here have some phobia about urinals that forces them to piss in the toilet w/o lifting the seat!  Let me tell you, the sight of yellow drops all over the toilet seat is one I can do without.

Worst place I have had to go to the bathroom... Honduras.

1. They don't put the used paper down the toilet. They have a wastebasket next to the toilet. Really gross!! Something about their plumbing not being able to handle the paper.

2. They don't put towels in the bathroom, paper or cloth. I never did figure out what the locals do.

I made a habit of keeping a bandana in my back pocket to dry my hands. And I said to hell with putting used paper in the basket. I just flushed it down without an incident.

I fricken worship porcelain.  Try squatting in the desert, in front of an M113 personnel carrier, while your partner covers you with the .50 cal M2.  When we had time we used a wooden ammo crate to sit on.  Some how we got a hold of a toilet seat and bolted it to the crate.  Cleaning it?  Left it in the sun and wind for that.  How about getting the MRE shits and hanging your ass out the back door just long enough to dump?  That's fun.  How about holding a shit because your in MOPP (chemical protection) gear for 12 hours.  Then there are the military portable toilets.  Rows of holes in a plywood bench.  Close enough you rub shoulders with your buddies when you lean over to wipe.  And I had the good life.  How about our special forces guys that live in a hole for days shitting in a coffee can?  

You toilet head cases need some prospective.  

How much protection does a paper ass gasket really provide?

I think it's mostly psychological protection rather than any real biological protection.