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Posted: 5/31/2002 9:08:14 AM EDT
WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A MAN 1. Handguns can be used to repel bad guys - and you won't have to listen to the story about how they did it for the next six years. 2. Handguns don't emit noxious gases (unless you're using Armscor or Wolf ammo!) 3. Handguns only need a good boring out with a wire brush and a wipedown with oil for "a special evening". 4. Handguns don't have expensive hobbies, like jetskis, motorcycles, and computers. 5. Handguns don't gripe about your cooking; they don't care what they eat as long as it's ammunition. 6. If the barrel is too small or too short on your handgun, you can buy another handgun with a bigger, longer barrel. 7. Handguns don't require a half-hour of reassurance when they misfire, misfeed, or malfunction. 8. You get to decide what pictures a handgun shoots at. 9. If you ignore a handgun for six months, it won't start shooting wildly if you start using it again. 10. Handguns don't malfunction if you don't pull their trigger "that certain special way" every time. 11. Handguns don't whine when you take them to the department store, the opera, the hairdresser's, the nail salon, the OB/GYN... 12. Handguns are reliable; if you have one that's broken, you can send it back to the factory again and again until it's fixed to your liking. 13. Very few handguns are single shot only. 14. Handguns don't whine about doing their job. 15. Handguns don't park in front of the TV and become mindless and drooling. 16. Handguns don't go bald and grow bellies as they get older. 17. Handguns never need a "night out with all the other handguns." 18. Handguns don't grow scratchy stubble. 19. Handguns don't *care* if you are over 44. 20. Handguns don't get jealous if you want to shoot some other handguns.
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 9:11:06 AM EDT
Ok baby[;)] you can say what you want but I know you really want me.[:X]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 9:12:31 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 9:12:35 AM EDT
Turnabout :)
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 9:57:18 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/31/2002 9:58:11 AM EDT by ARgon]
Hannah, you need to meet a real man! Now I'm not sure where you will find one, however keep trying! [:D] [:P]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 10:01:13 AM EDT
I agree. I'm not into men at all. I'm in to womenz! Come to think of it, handguns are better than most womenz too.
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 10:38:22 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Hannah_Reitsch: WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A MAN -snip- 3. Handguns only need a good boring out with a wire brush and a wipedown with oil for "a special evening". -snip-
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Come on...I can think of some women who only need a good boring out with a wire brush and a wipedown with oil for a special evening. Pamela Anderson comes to mind. [:D] [puke]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 10:57:45 AM EDT
ARgon, I *have* a great man, been married to him 31 years, thanks. That post was in the spirit of a good fun answer to the "Why a handgun is better than a woman" post, certainly not serious criticism. I think both men AND guns are great! [:D]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 11:33:25 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 11:53:29 AM EDT
why I preffer an ar to a woman. 1.they never ask does this make me look fat (they don't care) 2.as long as you treat them well they will treat you well. 3.they never nag 4.they don't require you buy them new accessories every year (although I do anyway). 5.they never nag (hey it's my list I can say it twice if I want). 6.they only time the ever get loud is when you want them to. 7.they never leave you. 8.they never frickin nag you. 9.you never have to explain anything to them. 10.they don't take 3 hours to decide what to wear. 11.they work all month long. 12. they never have mood swings, they just work when you tell them to. 13.they don't mind if you have 20 or thirty just like them. 14.they don't wear those weird face masks at night 15.they never nag you. 16.you can use them when you want them and put them away when you don't want them (which is never). 17.did I mention they don't nag.
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 11:55:53 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/31/2002 5:26:14 PM EDT by 199]
Originally Posted By Hannah_Reitsch: ... 16. Handguns don't go bald and grow bellies as they get older. ...
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Yeah – and they don’t have cellulite either! [:O] And they never ask: “Does this holster make my butt look too big?” [:D] edited rather belately to add smilies since this thread seems to have taken a bad turn - and I've already got enough women mad at me! [B)]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 12:10:14 PM EDT
Handguns can't be trained to take out he trash. If you decide to get rid of a handgun you don't get half of the handgun's aqquired stuff.
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 1:34:21 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Hannah_Reitsch: ARgon, I *have* a great man, been married to him 31 years, thanks. That post was in the spirit of a good fun answer to the "Why a handgun is better than a woman" post, certainly not serious criticism. I think both men AND guns are great! [:D]
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That we agree, as with good guns and women. Been with my wife since I was a pup. At 53 I can't think of a life without her or guns. Take em both to bed! [;)]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 1:44:19 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 2:54:41 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Hannah_Reitsch: WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A MAN 1. Handguns can be used to repel bad guys - and you won't have to listen to the story about how they did it for the next six years. 2. Handguns don't emit noxious gases (unless you're using Armscor or Wolf ammo!) 3. Handguns only need a good boring out with a wire brush and a wipedown with oil for "a special evening". 4. Handguns don't have expensive hobbies, like jetskis, motorcycles, and computers. 5. Handguns don't gripe about your cooking; they don't care what they eat as long as it's ammunition. 6. If the barrel is too small or too short on your handgun, you can buy another handgun with a bigger, longer barrel. 7. Handguns don't require a half-hour of reassurance when they misfire, misfeed, or malfunction. 8. You get to decide what pictures a handgun shoots at. 9. If you ignore a handgun for six months, it won't start shooting wildly if you start using it again. 10. Handguns don't malfunction if you don't pull their trigger "that certain special way" every time. 11. Handguns don't whine when you take them to the department store, the opera, the hairdresser's, the nail salon, the OB/GYN... 12. Handguns are reliable; if you have one that's broken, you can send it back to the factory again and again until it's fixed to your liking. 13. Very few handguns are single shot only. 14. Handguns don't whine about doing their job. 15. Handguns don't park in front of the TV and become mindless and drooling. 16. Handguns don't go bald and grow bellies as they get older. 17. Handguns never need a "night out with all the other handguns." 18. Handguns don't grow scratchy stubble. 19. Handguns don't *care* if you are over 44. 20. Handguns don't get jealous if you want to shoot some other handguns.
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FRIGID! You couldnt handle a man. And as most women Nag, Nag, Nag. GG
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 3:00:59 PM EDT
GG: Scroll up, oh Short-Dicked One...... I have been happily married for 31 years to a wonderful, undominated man.
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 3:20:19 PM EDT
GG. Dude!! Were you standin' in front of the window again??
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 3:23:28 PM EDT
LOL BigYeti!
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 3:25:05 PM EDT
Raven where are you with the dead horse anim icon? Bob [:D]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 3:41:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 3:53:59 PM EDT
HEY!!!!!! I have NO pain. I think men are GREAT! This was a joke......duh!!!!! Sheeesh, you guys are touchy.
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 3:58:10 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 3:59:53 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 4:00:51 PM EDT
Yeah but most guys won't send you to the hospital or morgue after they shoot.[xx(]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 4:06:47 PM EDT
i repeat: You know why they call it PMS? Because MAD COW disease was taken! LOL
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 4:13:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 4:15:47 PM EDT
Well Hannah!! I like your humor... Besides I loved a lady named Hannah once but she's got to be 70 now... A man and his Gun can climb any mountain in silence...
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 5:46:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/31/2002 5:48:11 PM EDT by luger355]
LoL good one Hannah But we menz have the mightiest of trump cards at our disposal. [b]We can unscrew a tight jar lid[/b] [;)]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 5:59:59 PM EDT
WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A MAN.... [b]They only shoot when you want them to!!! NEVER prematurely[/b] Bwaaaahahahahahaaa!!!!! They only shoot blank when [b]YOU[/b] want them to!!!! If they don't shoot when you want, it only takes a [b]LITTLE[/b] coaxing to make things right. FINALLY, You can always get a gun to [b]BANG[/b], its never "too tired"!!! Bwaaaa ha ha ha ha HA! [;)]
Link Posted: 5/31/2002 6:16:22 PM EDT
No matter the sentiment......men will always have at least 3 jobs...... 1.) Lift heavy things 2.) Kill spiders 3.) Open that damned jar lid Love that man of mine! [:D] PS, Thanks to the guys that understood the humor in this one.
Link Posted: 6/1/2002 6:21:39 PM EDT
Originally Posted By bigyeti: GG. Dude!! Were you standin' in front of the window again??
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I know, I know, they saw me.......again, but as they say "long and thin gets it in, short and thick does the trick". LOL GG
Link Posted: 6/2/2002 4:25:29 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Hannah_Reitsch: No matter the sentiment......men will always have at least 3 jobs...... 1.) Lift heavy things 2.) Kill spiders 3.) Open that damned jar lid Love that man of mine! [:D] PS, Thanks to the guys that understood the humor in this one.
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That would be me! [:D]
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