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Posted: 5/21/2002 10:10:51 AM EDT
Someone asked "Whats the worst profession..."

heh  heh  heh....you have to ask???

"What do you call a oil tanker full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?"

"Too little, too late."

[}:D]

Yeah, I hear the "politicians" vote. But think about it, pols suck mostly becasue they ARE lawyers.

Lawyers gave us both the crock-o-shirt lame excuse AND the defense strategy based on the multiple meanings of the definite verb "is."

Lawyers gave us the shifting sands of politics, legal contracts, environmental law, etc etc all based on their professional wordsmithing.

Lawyers gave us increased insurance rates, thru their abuses and unnnecesaily punitive usage of the concept of indemnity.

Lawyers gave us the ever-expanding gargantuan gov't, by alternatingly finding and closing loopholes in existing laws.

Lawyers introduced us to personal injury lawsuits (need I say more on that subject?)

Lawyers find ways for insurance companies to NOT pay claimants with legitimate claims. And extort money from corporations who have no liability for other stupidity (McDonalds coffee cup example)

Lawyers gave us TAX law. Ever read tax code? Sheesh.



I could go on and on wtih more reasons, but there's like a 3,500 REASON limit on each post, or some such thing like that.

Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:16:07 AM EDT
[#1]
This topic isn't for the reading enjoyment of a single board member, is it?

[:D]
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:17:33 AM EDT
[#2]
I agree with you to a point, but its like saying all cops are bad. Some are and some aren't. There are greedy lawyers and then there are lawyers that, just like cops, want to go out and help people.

Besides according to your thinking, since every lawyer is "sue-happy" and wants money...how do you account for defense attorneys?? They are out there trying to save your ass from paying huge settlements and such......

just some food for thought.....[:D]
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:22:12 AM EDT
[#3]
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A: A prostitute will quit fucking you when your dead.
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:23:02 AM EDT
[#4]
Post from a3kid -
This topic isn't for the reading enjoyment of a single board member, is it?
View Quote

Reading? Yes. Enjoyment? No.

CPAs are like that!

Eric The(NoOneMakesJokesAboutThemThough)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:32:38 AM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
Besides according to your thinking, since every lawyer is "sue-happy" and wants money...how do you account for defense attorneys?? They are out there trying to save your ass from paying huge settlements and such......

just some food for thought.....[:D]
View Quote


Hello????? Think about what you just said.....

If it weren't FOR the POS lawyers, there would be NO NEED for defense attorneys, or any NEED to save my "ass" from OTHER POS lawyers......

its a big fricken circle of death, the good lawyers feeding off the ill will of the bad lawyers, net result being we're ALL worse off. When the good lawyers start working pro-bono, and not profiting off the frivilous lawsuits by the POS lawyers in an effort to self-police and counteract the bad apples, then I'll be impressed (after all, that EXACTLY the standard I've heard one lawyer in this forum demand from another subset of peoples)



A3kid -

Only One reason above was for his enjoyment, as he's in corporate law, I beleive, which is a more noble subset of lawyers.

But like QS pointed out, then you throw in the personal attributes of the individual, and then you are capable of a whole range of lawyers.



Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:41:47 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
If it weren't FOR the POS lawyers, there would be NO NEED for defense attorneys, or any NEED to save my "ass" from OTHER POS lawyers......
View Quote


yeah, right.  and i suppose private citizens are the only people who brings suits against other private citizens.  cuz lord knows that the state/federal governments never prosectue anybody that breaks the law.  

are you that naive about lawyers?  or are you just trying to jab at one of our members?  frankly, i think the percentage of assinine lawyers is smaller than most people think.  sure they charge a hefty fee...because they can!  who else has the knowledge to do what they do, and let's not even mention the licensing and/or certification they have to get.  it's called capitalism.  fees for service.  the more specialized the service, the higher the fee.  it's about supply and demand.  if everybody knew how to defend themselves against a murder charge or how to legally close a dead father's estate or knew all the laws regarding divorce/visitation/custodial issues, lawyers would be a dime a dozen.  any ol' jack could hang his sign and practice.  but since that ain't the case, people with that knowledge are rare.  and rarity fetches a higher price.  period.

do y'all really need an economic lesson that much?
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:46:33 AM EDT
[#7]
I respect the legal profession, but the problem seems to be that there are too many of them.  There is a need to create work to create income.  With fewer lawyers there would be fewer frivolous law suits.
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 10:57:48 AM EDT
[#8]
This is a troll and a personal attack if I ever saw one, and I have.

Are you filling in for DaMan while he's on hiatus, garandman?
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 11:06:45 AM EDT
[#9]
I find my greatest objection/beef with lawyers is also generally one of their greatest strengths.  The ability to argue a point logically and vehemently even if they do not believe in the cause/words/ideals of what they are argueing.

While innocence or truth may be uncovered in such a way, innocence or truth may also be buried.

Personally I've found almost all lawyers I've met ethically superior to any marketing staff member I've met.  Those guys should've been honest enough to become herion dealers and not worried about the education. -[insert smiley here]
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 11:10:27 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
Someone asked "Whats the worst profession..."

heh  heh  heh....you have to ask???
View Quote


All professions are noble.  It's the character of the man in the profession that determines the quality of his work.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 11:19:00 AM EDT
[#11]
Damn garandman, you would think you just lost your chance at a job at Andersen.

Link Posted: 5/21/2002 11:55:54 AM EDT
[#12]
Did you know there are three kinds of accountants in the world?

Those who can count and those who can't.
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 11:57:45 AM EDT
[#13]
What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.



Link Posted: 5/21/2002 11:58:17 AM EDT
[#14]
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 11:59:33 AM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
are you that naive about lawyers?  or are you just trying to jab at one of our members?  frankly, i think the percentage of assinine lawyers is smaller than most people think.  sure they charge a hefty fee...because they can!  who else has the knowledge to do what they do, and let's not even mention the licensing and/or certification they have to get.  it's called capitalism.  fees for service.  the more specialized the service, the higher the fee.  it's about supply and demand.  if everybody knew how to defend themselves against a murder charge or how to legally close a dead father's estate or knew all the laws regarding divorce/visitation/custodial issues, lawyers would be a dime a dozen.  any ol' jack could hang his sign and practice.  but since that ain't the case, people with that knowledge are rare.  and rarity fetches a higher price.  period.

do y'all really need an economic lesson that much?
View Quote


Its not only the licensing and expertise you're paying for. At least with respect to personal injury, there is a huge component of risk for the plaintiff's attorney.  Sure they take the case on a contingency so there's little or no out of pocket costs for the actual plaintiff, but the attorney is paying professional and support staff, as well as expert witnesses, etc. This is money the plaintiff's attorney pays out of pocket until he wins the case, maybe a year or two down the line.  If he loses the case or can't get enough out of his 1/3 cut, he's SOL.  Its basic economics; risk = reward.

There's also something to be said for the nature of society that demands it be compensated for the most infintessmal injury.  Thirty or fifty years ago, if you spilled hot coffee in your lap, you wouldn't dream of suing a company for the terrible act of serving you hot coffee.  Today, people can't wait to rush in to see a lawyer if they are clumsy enough to dump their grande latte in their crotch while trying to drive their SUV and gab on the cell phone all at the same time.

I recently did some work on a major asbestos litigation.  Without getting into too much detail (although its all publicly available in court documents) there were plaintiffs claiming lung damage and disease from slight exposure to asbestos (a year or so).  Of course the fact that they were chain smokers for 30+ years never crossed their minds as a posible source of their lung disease.  Its not due to lawyers so much as a change in society whereby people do not want to accept responsibility for their actions.  Its always someone else's fault - the cigarette manufacturers, McDonalds, the guy in the car in front of me, etc.  When people stop trying to blame everybody else but themselves for their problems, and wake up to the reality that they are not entitled to money for being a bunch of incompetent dumbasses, you'll see a drastic drop in the demand for lawyers.  
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 12:36:08 PM EDT
[#16]
Most of your post is overgeneralized steam.  But here's a few observations:

Politicians are not attorneys in my book, they are politicians.  Some have J.D.s, some have M.D.s, but they are politicians.  If attorneys, who actually practice law, drafted legislation, you would see a lot less ambiguity in the law.  

Anomalies like the Clinton "is" fiasco, OJ, or the McDonalds coffee spill suit are just that, anomalies.  They are not the norm and certainly not an accurate picture of present American jurisprudance.

So far as "sue-happiness"?  Gotta agree with you there.  The biggest problem with my profession today is that for big firms, it is no longer a profession.  It's more like a business where the big firms want to bill almighty hours, not practice law.  The result is too many suits.  For litigators who go to court everyday and practice the old fashion way, the profession is still a profession.

I could go on for days about personal injury suits.  At least in my state, and in my courts, insurance companies make out like bandits.  

The insurance company PACs tower over and above the ABA (which I'm not a member of BTW) and the companies themselves rake in exponentially more money each year than paid out in claims.  You have bought a lot of hype my man.

Tax code- written by politicians, not my profession, although I will admit that they probably hire, from time to time, some sleazy attorney guns to check the wording of the IRC.  


Link Posted: 5/21/2002 12:42:14 PM EDT
[#17]
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 12:46:20 PM EDT
[#18]
I wish I had a dollar for every time I see someone here yell, "Sue the bastards!" for every real or imagined slight.

The next day, of course, they're bitching about lawyers.

I do NOT want ANYONE complaining about lawyers here to EVER use one again, mkay?  Deal?






BTW, the only *good* lawyer is *my* lawyer, doncha know!
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 12:57:41 PM EDT
[#19]
The more valuable your time becomes, the more valued your attorney becomes.

Personally I find combat veterans make the best attorneys, at least for me and my style anyway.
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 1:21:08 PM EDT
[#20]
Nothing personal, but most of you lawyer-haters come across like dimwits.  You get your "knowledge" from LA Law or Ally McBeal, or the occassional moron who files a frivolous suit and gets on the news for the simple fact that the suit is outrageous.  You then extrapolate and conclude that all lawyers are liars like Johnny Cochran.  Its no different than HCI labeling all gun-owners as redneck militiamen.  Neither conclusion has its basis in fact.  

Defense attoneys are lowlifes; but they are lowlifes because they are leftists, not because they are lawyers.  I know dozens of lawyers and judges; my wife is married to one, and so am I.  Only two of those I know are the type that many here complain of, and both are way off the left end of the political spectrum.  The rest are just normal folks who went to law school instead of the assembly line at the Ford plant.

I'm heartened to see many good responses; you know who you are - ARlady, Jarhead, Stealth, Boston, and others.  To the rest of you who play the blame game, you'd probably crap your pants with joy if your kid got in lawschool, but won't admit it.  Next time you're rear-ended, or you wife divorces you, or the cops bust your teenage daughter for DUI, navigate the court system by yourself and see how far it gets you.

Again, nothing personal.  Just venting.  [:D]

Link Posted: 5/21/2002 1:42:43 PM EDT
[#21]
IT WAS THE TWINKIES!!!!
Link Posted: 5/21/2002 2:03:18 PM EDT
[#22]
Ah...hhmmm.....I just can`t recall!...[thinking]
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 5:21:12 AM EDT
[#23]
DScott -

Funny stuff. No doubts accountants are pretty lame. I SHOULD KNOW. [:D]

Jarhead -

For a Marine, yer whining like a school girl. It doesn't become you. We're all adults here right? Am I allowed to have an opinion? Please e-mail me one and I'll be sure to regurgitate everything you agree with.  [rolleyes]

Steve-in-VA

No doubt there are NOBLE people who happen to be attorneys. Or any number of other professions. And they actually work to minimize the things I mentioned in my thread opener.

But when a singular profession churns out the crap above, and in fact their whole intention is to churn that kind of crap out (its not just an unfortunate by-product of good intentions), then I'd say "Houston, we have a problem."

ARLady -

Hi!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 5:50:43 AM EDT
[#24]
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 5:58:38 AM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
G-man,

are you just bored?


[:D]
View Quote


Actually, YES.


I thought things were getting a little dull around here. I can't stand it when everyone agrees 100% on everything. Controversy is good. It sparks debate, which sparks new, original thought.

Either that, or I'm just a jerk.

Both alternatives are equally possible.  [BD]



Link Posted: 5/22/2002 6:15:10 AM EDT
[#26]
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 6:53:52 AM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
garandman,
I have DaMans email address since he keeps emailing me.
I'll send it to you since you have so much in common with him.
You two will be great friends.
View Quote


Then I suggest you e-mail him, and ask him about a specific issue that I told him "he was making too much of, IMO."

He's him, and I'm me. Can you grasp that simple concept??? or do I need to type slower?? Don't insult him by linking us together. [BD]


Its ok to disagree, but you should do it in the threads that are posted instead of posting a thread as a subliminal attack aginst someone.
View Quote


A subliminal attack? What are you talking about??? Its an open, transparent "attack."  I SPECIFICALLY stated (above)that ONLY ONE of the above applied to Eric - the "wordsmithing" comment, a charge I have repeatedly and openly made of him, to his person in direct dialog between he and myself,  on numerous occassions. Don't try to turn this into some kind of "behind the grass knoll" experience. [rolleyes] I've been honest an open about everything.

Isn't Eric a big boy, yet? Can't he defend himself?? Were you appointed his protectorate???

But don't worry, I won't ask for your personal opinion anymore with my threads about religion. Its ok to disagree, but you should do it in the threads that are posted instead of posting a thread as a subliminal attack ....(copied from above)
View Quote


AWWW shucks Wally, I didn't think there had to be a formal "asking for" of opinion in an open discussion forum like this one, or that you can only state your opinion in threads opened by OTHER people. Can you show me what rules I missed??? I kinda thunk that the POSTING of a thread was a solicitation for opinions. Silly me. [rolleyes]

I expected more from you.
You seem to be like most religious people now and only do selective reading. [V]


View Quote


People will always let you down. And since I can't remember EVER indicating I had achieved sinless perfection, may I point you to my Saviour as One who will ALWAYS meet your expectations? The fact that I don't DOES NOT make Christ's precepts and principels untrue. I just makes me...like you....someone who needs some work. (Too often I get the sense that if people can prove me to be imperfect, they think they are free from any Biblical principles I espouse. NEWSFLASH, PEOPLE - YES, I am imperfect, and NO, yer not free from any Biblical principles due to this reality.  [:D]  )

Admittedly, my reading IS selective. there's an AWFUL LOT of stuff in thsi word to read, and I have to spend SOME time eating and sleeping. [}:D]



Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:15:46 AM EDT
[#28]
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:20:27 AM EDT
[#29]
Seems to me, if we had good judges, and a RESPONSIBLE citizenry sitting on FULLY INFORMED juries, we wouldn't need near so many lawyers. It all goes back to the people garand, we get what we deserve.....
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:25:30 AM EDT
[#30]
Quoted:
Jarhead -

For a Marine, yer whining like a school girl. It doesn't become you. We're all adults here right? Am I allowed to have an opinion? Please e-mail me one and I'll be sure to regurgitate everything you agree with.
View Quote

You who are so wounded and hurt when people think anything but the best of you should know better than to go around poking your finger in other people's eyes all the time. Of course you're welcome to your opinions, but then you know what they say about opinions.

Of course, you don't dispute that I was right in what I said: personal attack and troll.
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:26:29 AM EDT
[#31]
Amen, [b]Brother liberty86[/b], preach it, son!

And to belatedly answer Benjamin Franklin's question - No Sir, we haven't been able to keep the Republic you and your friends gave us back in our founding days.

Eric The(MuchToOurEverlastingShame!)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:32:12 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:
[

I just felt like jabbing you, I still respect your opinion.

You misspelled the word "this"
View Quote


Well, let me just thank you for NOT pointing out the other ten words I mispelled.  [:D]



But since we are on a friendly discussion,
and I'm just kidding when I say this, how about this for a headline. I've got a bit of Cherokee in me as well.

[b]Chief Nasty Butt of the Nowippie tribe identifies with the
Palestinians since their land is occupied as well, Disbelieves that Jews are the chosen people of God.[/b]


View Quote


anti-[strike]Sem[/strike]Cherokee-ite!!!!!!!!!

[:D]

Link Posted: 5/22/2002 7:43:46 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
Seems to me, if we had good judges, and a RESPONSIBLE citizenry sitting on FULLY INFORMED juries, we wouldn't need near so many lawyers. It all goes back to the people garand, we get what we deserve.....
View Quote


I agree wholeheartedly.

Not to belabor the point, but -

aren't "bad judges" just people who used to be -  BAD LAWYERS????? And isn't the decline in the responsibility of the citizenry PARTLY due to the fact that instead of owning up to what they did, and submitting themselves to justice, people go find crooked lawyers to get them off, and the lawyers WILLINGLY engage in this, and PROFIT from peoples desire to escape personal responsibility???

Ain't that true???

originally by Jarhead_22:
You who are so wounded and hurt when people think anything but the best of you.....
View Quote


Jar -

If I [b]REALLY[/b] cared what the folks in an internet forum (who know about maybe 2% of what I really beleive and whom I really am) thought of me, do you actually think I'd post even 1/10th of the stuff I post in here? The internet turns us ALL into one dimensional figures, which is monumentally misleading. Think about it.....


should know better than to go around poking your finger in other people's eyes all the time.
View Quote


So THAT'S what's on my finger - eye juice!!!!!

Yuck!!!!!

Link Posted: 5/22/2002 8:12:28 AM EDT
[#34]
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